Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?

[Dunamisx]

I don't know the beauty in it whereby people choose to have their partners pregnant before getting married, as from what I'd known, child outside marriage is not what many will count to be responsible of, that is why we found out today about many vulnerable children out there as motherless child roaming about the street, because of their parents giving birth to them out of matrimonial luck and both the child and mother often suffer the cost.

[RealNoblee]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

In my view, different people with different  view,s, reasons and understanding when it comes to marriage.

A man who say I must get a woman pregnant before marrying her as a proof that has not messed up her womb.
He the man, is he a saint? This indicates that he would keep engaging in sexual relationship with every woman that comes his way for as long they are not confirmed pregnant.

Several times we are  blinded  with infatuation with the notion that we are in love

This is just an illusion of of reality.

I have seen a women who married as a virgin but took up to 7 years to get pregnant in the same marriage  and had two sets of twins. (two bogs and two girls just in two conception)

Marriage before getting pregnant

[Vod]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

I copied your entire quote into ChatGPT, and one part of the response shocked me:

5. My Stand
I don’t support the idea of requiring pregnancy before marriage as a test of worth or suitability. While I understand the fears and pressures that lead to this mindset, I believe:
Love and marriage should be built on trust, mutual respect, and shared vision, not fear or suspicion.
Fertility should not define a person’s value or worthiness for love.
Societal norms need to evolve to respect women’s autonomy and encourage healthier, more mature approaches to partnership and family planning.

I was shocked to see My Stand (the AI has an opinion?!?) until I realized that's exactly what you asked for.    It also added that 90% is an unrealistic number.  

[Helena Yu]

Is this true? I live in a country who have a strong tradition/culture, so pregnancy before marriage is almost forbidden, some people even claim their kids are born after marriage in order to not get judged by people.

If they want to make sure the women are fertile, they should seek a doctor, it's enough.

And even the women not able to give a birth after many years, men are allowed to have more spouse as long as they can afford it.

[coolcoinz]

I'd say after because marriage shows at least some dedication from both sides. That said, it doesn't matter much as I've seen couples that stayed together without marriage for a long time, and ones that divorced a year after getting married.

Personally, I'd rather have children after, but it doesn't make much of a difference. The important part is matching together well. Having similar goals and all that.

[Tmoonz]

Is this true? I live in a country who have a strong tradition/culture, so pregnancy before marriage is almost forbidden, some people even claim their kids are born after marriage in order to not get judged by people.

If they want to make sure the women are fertile, they should seek a doctor, it's enough.

And even the women not able to give a birth after many years, men are allowed to have more spouse as long as they can afford it.

Those with that mentality of pregnancy before marriage can never be satisfied with a doctor fertility test result they believe on what they are seeing physically and not scientifically proven, this observation of mine is in an increasingly rate in my environment and most parents are also aiding their male child in this act but however, if it is a mutual agreement between both parties involved it is not a big deal in my conclusion, but in an environment where such is mostly seem as an abomination there is going to be a high rate of abortion from those that are not married which can as well be disadvantageous.

[aoluain]

Re: Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?

I dont have a preference, I would like to believe that if a pregnancy is planned it
will  e the right time for that particular couple. Marriage is just a tool to provide
financial stability for a family, it offers benefits in the eyes of a state.

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

I have never heard of such a thing? it sounds ridiculous really, actually sounds
lime the view marriage as a step to having a child, they couldnt marry for love or
financial stability.

[Zackz5000]

Is this true? I live in a country who have a strong tradition/culture, so pregnancy before marriage is almost forbidden, some people even claim their kids are born after marriage in order to not get judged by people.

If they want to make sure the women are fertile, they should seek a doctor, it's enough.

And even the women not able to give a birth after many years, men are allowed to have more spouse as long as they can afford it.

The world is gradually changing i believe in the ancient days such cultures and traditions are very strong and taken serious where it is seen as an abomination for a girl child to get pregnant before marriage expecially in Africa but now it's no longer seen as an abomination to get pregnant before marriage as most men actually wants to see there girlfriend gets pregnant before they will officially get married i also buy such idea as long as both will still get married.

[Hewlet]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

If it's with regard the reason you've just given, then it's not even reasonable to consider getting someone pregnant first just because you feel she's scattered her womb. If for any reason I suspect that you've scattered your womb, then there's no two ways about it, I'm never getting married to you or trying to get you pregnant.

Our society has gone really morally down that we have started building a very backward mentality that adds little or nothing to what getting married is about. Having a child outside marriage of considered fornication and regardless the reason we bring out, it does not justify that act. No one wants to get married to a lady that has messed up with her womb but at the same time, a lady that looks as one that's capable of aborting numerous times doesn't have what it takes to be my life partner..

[Helena Yu]

Those with that mentality of pregnancy before marriage can never be satisfied with a doctor fertility test result they believe on what they are seeing physically and not scientifically proven, this observation of mine is in an increasingly rate in my environment and most parents are also aiding their male child in this act but however, if it is a mutual agreement between both parties involved it is not a big deal in my conclusion, but in an environment where such is mostly seem as an abomination there is going to be a high rate of abortion from those that are not married which can as well be disadvantageous.

I don't know what's it called, if someone want to get married, they create prenuptial agreement in order to avoid something bad happen after marriage. But, in this situation, it's an agreement before the men to making love with the women.

The world is gradually changing i believe in the ancient days such cultures and traditions are very strong and taken serious where it is seen as an abomination for a girl child to get pregnant before marriage expecially in Africa but now it's no longer seen as an abomination to get pregnant before marriage as most men actually wants to see there girlfriend gets pregnant before they will officially get married i also buy such idea as long as both will still get married.

So it means men are prefer to see their girlfriend gets pregnant rather than marrying a virgin? in my country, most men only want to get married with virgin women.

I just imagining what if they've in relationship for 2 years and his girlfriend can't give a birth, then he choose to breakup, does the value of that woman is still high? or she will be known as infertile and not virgin woman?

[Justbillywitt]

My girlfriend got pregnant and we lived together for years, had all our children together before I married her. I don't blame anyone who thinks they have to be sure their partner have to conceived before they get married. Whereas the essence of marriage is to bear children. Luckily for me my culture and tradition permits a Man to get married to a woman if they have already had children. So I don't see anything morally bad in getting a woman pregnant before getting married to her. Believe me there are lots pressure/ challenges in marriage and you don't want childlessness to add to that list. As a man do what will give you peace of mind.

[Sim_card]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

Are you using what is happening in your country to come into conclusion that this is happening everywhere all over the world. I don't think that responsible people still have that primitive mindset these days. If you born out of wed luck is fornication and you should also know that it's not everyone that is getting married because of kids. God gives kids and not you. What if the problem is from the man, it means that he wouldn't get married all the rest of his life. Marry your wife before getting her pregnant is the best and ideal way.

[coin-investor]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

I agree with you, and there’s also a compatibility issue among couples that they often only discover after getting married and living together. Some marriages ended in divorce because one of the couple cannot provide enough sperm to conceive a child, especially if one of them wants to raise a family.

I may come from a conservative family. But there’s no divorce in our country, so it’s hard to be tied to one person who cannot give you the family that you want. You will end up adopting a child or bearing a child outside of marriage, but if you love your partner, then he or she is enough.

[Helena Yu]

So I don't see anything morally bad in getting a woman pregnant before getting married to her. Believe me there are lots pressure/ challenges in marriage and you don't want childlessness to add to that list. As a man do what will give you peace of mind.

How about your wife cheats you or not able to be a mother?

I think it's more dangerous too living with irresponsible wife and child rather than living with responsible wife without child. We can't know the true character of our spouse, usually they will show it after marriage (formal relationship), not just a casual relationship.

If someone want to get married with a main purpose to raise their child, they actually can raise their own child without need to be in relationship https://www.arcfertility.com/patient-resources/family-building/single-men/

[aioc]

Marriage is sacred, for me, so there should be marriage before pregnancy, and if the other partner cannot bear a child, then there are scientific means for one partner to have his/her child through artificial insemination.
We are living in a modern world where almost everything has a solution, and bearing a child first before marriage is not the answer.
A married couple should not be separated because one is not capable of bearing a child, we have a child because of incompatibility, not because one cannot bear a child.

[Bitcoin.com97]

Marriage is sacred, for me, so there should be marriage before pregnancy, and if the other partner cannot bear a child, then there are scientific means for one partner to have his/her child through artificial insemination.
We are living in a modern world where almost everything has a solution, and bearing a child first before marriage is not the answer.
A married couple should not be separated because one is not capable of bearing a child, we have a child because of incompatibility, not because one cannot bear a child.

How would you if a woman has done multiple abortions and has damaged her womb unknowingly to you , then after conducting her marital rites , weeks gone by , months gone by and years gone bye without a child , then you suggest surrogacy , adoption or Ivf which requires a lot of money , IVF has a lot of procedures and money is involved and what if you are not financially buoyant, surrogacy now involves a lot of mental stress and time with money ,imagine another woman carrying your child with the scientific method, then after birth you take the child away from her , of which some countries the surrogate mother  has access to the child because she carried  it in her womb for 9months gave birth and if the natural birth didn’t work out , cs will be involved to save the mother and the baby , including the bounding them after which , you won’t set your eyes on the 9months suffering.

Gone at those days when marriage is done before pregnancy but the society we are in this part of the world , pregnancy before marriage is very very important, unless you are ready to go through those stress , once your girlfriend is pregnant marriage rite take place immediately to avoid long story in the future , a lot is happening day by day , a lot has also changed , so pregnancy before marriage is the best , even our parents will also advice us about it, and it goes to both parties , some men are impotent but will shift the blame on the woman , let’s know how fertile we are before marriage, that is the society we found ourselves in .

[Proty]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

Well it is true I have also observed same but it is morally and spiritually wrong and I don't think if there is any religion that support such idea infact all religious forbid premarital sex.The best way is to run or carry out a test that will prove that your patterns is medical okay or fertile since it is not a good idea to pregnant a girl before marriage just because of being sure that they are fertile when there are hospitals that can do this without bringing shame or dishonour to anyone as the case maybe with pregnancy out of wedlock

[Salahmu]

Those with that mentality of pregnancy before marriage can never be satisfied with a doctor fertility test result they believe on what they are seeing physically and not scientifically proven, this observation of mine is in an increasingly rate in my environment and most parents are also aiding their male child in this act but however, if it is a mutual agreement between both parties involved it is not a big deal in my conclusion, but in an environment where such is mostly seem as an abomination there is going to be a high rate of abortion from those that are not married which can as well be disadvantageous.

There will not be high rate of abortion in such environment because people work and react according to law culture so if something like this is forbidden all the ladies on that place will also discipline themselves that they can only be close to a man when they have gotten married to them, although there might be some persons who will disregard the law but I think it will be rare because I have seen a tribe in my country that does this but with a consequence outcome of both the lady and the boy who will violate the rules that has been included on the tradition, so it makes them to be scared of thinking otherwise.

[CamilaStar]

reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again

Infertility not only occurs in women but is also more common in men because men often have many bad habits such as alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine...these things have a significant impact on men's health. So don't blame or doubt the woman if both of you can't have children.
In addition, with the development of technology, medicine today has also made significant progress, any couple who doubts their fertility only needs to go for screening.


Sorry, but I feel like this topic is quite misogynistic and demeaning to women by assuming that only women have youthful exuberance and men don't. We are in the 21st century, not feudal times, women and men need to be treated equally.

very true, both need to be treated equally. Men need to understand that woman are not always the fault. Most times, the men are the problem.

[Tmoonz]

reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again

Infertility not only occurs in women but is also more common in men because men often have many bad habits such as alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine...these things have a significant impact on men's health. So don't blame or doubt the woman if both of you can't have children.
In addition, with the development of technology, medicine today has also made significant progress, any couple who doubts their fertility only needs to go for screening.


Sorry, but I feel like this topic is quite misogynistic and demeaning to women by assuming that only women have youthful exuberance and men don't. We are in the 21st century, not feudal times, women and men need to be treated equally.

very true, both need to be treated equally. Men need to understand that woman are not always the fault. Most times, the men are the problem.

It is true that infertility do not only occur in women it also occurs in men too but the high level of casual sex relationship in this generation
Is alarming, You will agree with me that the women I mean the girls are the ones in the receiving end of the story in the situation of getting pregnant and probably refuse to keep the pregnancy by indulging in taken substances that might have a negative effect on them not being able to concieve tomorrow because they don't want to give birth to a child without being properly married, to protect family prestige pride and dignity or religion, this actually act is of the increasing side in most of our societies today which of course is one of the major reason why I brought up this topic of discussion, a lot are really happening behind the scene.