Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?

[KingsDen]

I won't argue this much because there are cultures that permits for pregnancy before marriage, while we have a larger percentage on those that only advise after marriage, but ideally, we should have this done in marriage after doing the normal traditions as required by each custom, this goes along with the blessing to abounds in the marriage and make it more fruitful for them both to enjoy ad they planned to live together forever.

I see no difference, provided the man would take the girl to the alter after getting her pregnant then no problem. A good percent of married people got their spouse pregnant before Marriage. I've known of couples that wedded after a year of living together. Intercourse is a thing of consent, aside that it's an abuse. So, if both sides consent on having a baby before going for parental blessings, then that's what should make the union work. One person's disagreement to that can ruin the relationship.

A align with Accardo the more. I see no difference if the couples are truthful to themselves. If procreation is the only reason for marriage, then getting a woman pregnant before marriage is the right thing to do. But if marriage is first seen as a beautiful thing before children starts coming, this might not be a big problem to the couple. I understand that in my country, any marriage without a child always faced alot of pressure from relatives and friends.
Op, it depends on what the couples want. Do they actually want to be having children from the first year of their marriage, it's okay the lady gets pregnant first. But if they want children coming maybe after 2 or more years of marriage, there's no need getting the lady pregnant first. You see that it is purely subjective.

[Bigjoe33]

I think both are good depending on what the couple wants. Some men are not sure of themselves likewise some women. I have had a course of a lady telling me if she don't know if the problem is from her boy friend , though she is a single lady, she said ever since he met the guy that both of them have been having an affairs but nothing is showing up, so she even begged me if I can have an affair with her so she can be sure of her self. To cut the story short I think pregnancy before marriage should be best for couple that are ready for marriage oh. Marriage is is not dating, a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

Your point can only be valid in a society that has a culture of allowing pregnancy before marriage (if any exist). But In societies like ours where marriage before pregnancy proves the worth of a lady, shows the dignity of the lady, you can't possibly say that it depends on what the couples want because the reputation of the family will also be at stake to say that there daughter didn't preserve herself and remain chaste till marriage.

Marriage is built on love. You can't possibly marry someone you don't love, that is if you want peace of mind in the nearest future. If this is accepted, then what is love when it becomes conditional? What is the strength of your love when you place a condition on the woman that if she doesn't get pregnant, then no marriage? Love with condition is NO love. Yea! It is marriage before pregnancy. Thats our culture, I mean where I come from, and large areas. And that's where I stand.

If you fear that her womb must have been tampered with out of youthful exuberance, then you go get tested in the nearest hospital. There are other decent girls. Ask questions too. You can't possibly go for a jerk of a girl and expect everything to be intact as from creation. Hell NO! I repeat, if you want a whole and pure girl, go for decency. You as a guy, are even decent self??

Naturally too, some decent girls can also have pregnancy issues. It's nobodies fault, it's natural, we have to consider and accept it too. But you must go for the decent one. Marriage before pregnancy I submit

[Accardo]

I understand that in my country, any marriage without a child always faced alot of pressure from relatives and friends.

It's just silly of the married people who fidget over such pressure, as if the relatives or friends would pay any bill pertaining to the child when birthed afterwards. Most friends like this, are losers who know nothing about bearing and raising kids. Cruel mentalities as that only get couples to go extramiles for kids, even when they're unprepared to finance the child's upbringing in this hard economy.

Consider in a house where they are two male children, the same set of people still come to convince the husband of the wife to also look for a female child. Listening to them will only result to giving birth to more than 5 children in search of a specific gender. When the bill sets in all the disturbing relatives will flee to no destination.

[virasog]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

In which society do you see this trend of having pregnancy before marriage is getting popular? I think there are many complications to this, and I would prefer the old traditional way of having children after marriage and not before.

One of the most concerning things is what if the men after making the girl pregnant, refuses to marry her? And believe me, when the man gets the girl without getting into the legal obligations, he can always refuses to marry her and look for another relationship. Maybe the women are more loyal but men would always run away from the responsibility and look for new girls. 

[Jegileman]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

This doesn’t happen all over the world. In some places, it is simply a culture and even here in my country some people still practice that. The families that practice Islam mostly refrain from this and don’t take part in such act as it is deemed sinful by Allah. And as a devoted Muslim, you’re not allowed to take part in such.

Talking about the community seeing it in another way about ladies destroying their wombs before marriage, it is actually not a good way to judge them because some of this men also took part in making that happen. Stigmatisation is not good and I believe marriage is all about trust. If you can trust the one you want to get married to, then you can leave the relationship and not end up in marriage. I’m not in support of getting pregnant before getting married to a man.

[AmaGold70]

In my observations in our society today,there is an increasing rate up to ninety percent of men that prefer their woman to be pregnant before marriage, reason been that they feel most women have messed up their wombs out of youthful exuberance and may not be able to concieve again and for this reason most bachelors wouldn't want to stay in a marriage without a child and at such they prefer having a confirmed pregnancy result before proceducing for any marital right, what are your stand on this?

There is a way to check if the woman is fertile and can conceive a child without getting her pregnant. If people around your society wants to find solutions they should find it trough the right way. Getting the lady pregnant in other to prove that point isn't necessary. Is she a test subject or a lab experiment?

From research, there is common tests for fertility - hormone tests..which can be done if they visit the hospital

Of course there are ways to check the fertility of any female @Agbamoni but what happens if after being medically cleared to get pregnant and the lady in question doesn't get pregnant? I wouldn't blame anyone that wants evidence of how fertile a girl is by getting her pregnant before marriage, because even after running all the tests in the world there may be a spiritual thing that could prevent pregnancy from coming and many of us don't have that patience to wait around so they opt to getting their woman pregnant first before marriage. A desperate girl can go to any length to trick you into marriage and bribing their way to fake medical results isn't exceptional.

[Apocollapse]

Of course there are ways to check the fertility of any female @Agbamoni but what happens if after being medically cleared to get pregnant and the lady in question doesn't get pregnant? I wouldn't blame anyone that wants evidence of how fertile a girl is by getting her pregnant before marriage, because even after running all the tests in the world there may be a spiritual thing that could prevent pregnancy from coming and many of us don't have that patience to wait around so they opt to getting their woman pregnant first before marriage. A desperate girl can go to any length to trick you into marriage and bribing their way to fake medical results isn't exceptional.

That's why premarital agreement is important, you add a clause "if the woman failed to get pregnant after 3 years of marriage, the man is allowed to breakup without share any of his asset, alimony etc". What if she avoid to accept this clause? simply she's not for you and you have a choice to find other woman.

It's just silly of the married people who fidget over such pressure, as if the relatives or friends would pay any bill pertaining to the child when birthed afterwards. Most friends like this, are losers who know nothing about bearing and raising kids. Cruel mentalities as that only get couples to go extramiles for kids, even when they're unprepared to finance the child's upbringing in this hard economy.

I wonder why people are complaining with someone else words, if they feel they can't take it anymore, better to talk straight away or counter their argument. Like their friends ask to get more baby, they can counter "I can, but you must bear and raise my kids, can you?".

[Obulis]

This practice is of serious ethical concerns.  Pregnancy before marriage treats relationships as a business and reduces women's bodies as commodities (even as it seems to be a commodity as in paid sex hankering of which nowadays men are not excluded).
While infertility fears are real, expecting or subjecting someone into pregnancy to an extent disregards bodily autonomy and undermine that fertility problems affect both males and females.  Marriage relationships should be based on mutual commitment and trust, not preconditions that appears as reproductive enforcement .
Health concerns deserve open, respectful understanding and medical consultation, not conditions that ignores dignity.

Not to forget, pregnancy before marriage sometimes if not most times are not usually planned. To an extent, a learned woman (as per menstrual flow and body signs) is the one to decide if she is pregnant or not since she can just do away with it and here's where trust comes in, opening up.

[Akbarkoe]

In some regions and countries, casual sex and premarital pregnancy may be commonplace, as each region has different norms and customs. However, this shouldn't be considered normal. Having casual sex raises the question: aren't we better and more noble than animals? Even crocodiles live for only one partner!

And I think marriage isn't just about having children. Indeed, every couple desires children, because they are the fruit of their marriage. But it's important to understand that having children is a matter of destiny, and marriage isn't just about having children, but rather about how we can build a life together with the person we love.

[Juse14]

In some regions and countries, casual sex and premarital pregnancy may be commonplace, as each region has different norms and customs. However, this shouldn't be considered normal. Having casual sex raises the question: aren't we better and more noble than animals? Even crocodiles live for only one partner!

And I think marriage isn't just about having children. Indeed, every couple desires children, because they are the fruit of their marriage. But it's important to understand that having children is a matter of destiny, and marriage isn't just about having children, but rather about how we can build a life together with the person we love.

People should not let cultural reasons take over the main moral value and their self-respect. Even in what reason, pretext or excuse, casual sex is not proper behavior; it is a form of deviance.

To a woman, keeping her honor is the greatest way of having self-respect. It means that she does not allow casual sex to degrade her dignity. Casual sex and premarital pregnancy are not acts of freedom but rather acts of ignorance, even stupidity, which will make one regret for the rest of her life.

Also, to men, being a real man does not mean how many women you can play with. Real men should be able to protect and respect women, not help in the degradation of their future by adding more problems to think about after satisfying lust.
Marriage is sacred, not just by means of having children but in building a life together with love, responsibility, and blessings. Children are indeed a gift, but honor is dignity that has to be maintained long before all that happens.

[BADecker]

Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?


Ask the starving people of Gaza. Does it even matter?

[Salahmu]

Of course there are ways to check the fertility of any female @Agbamoni but what happens if after being medically cleared to get pregnant and the lady in question doesn't get pregnant? I wouldn't blame anyone that wants evidence of how fertile a girl is by getting her pregnant before marriage, because even after running all the tests in the world there may be a spiritual thing that could prevent pregnancy from coming and many of us don't have that patience to wait around so they opt to getting their woman pregnant first before marriage. A desperate girl can go to any length to trick you into marriage and bribing their way to fake medical results isn't exceptional.

In a country as mine who believes in spirituality is possible that a woman could be medically fit and because of some fetish things that was done against her could prevent her from conceiving, although countries who doesn't experience this kind of things could be doubting it but this is actually happening, I have seen a lady who has gotten married for years without a fruit of womb and when they go to hospital for check up doctors usually tell them they are in a good condition to take in but what is beyond the physical seen is behind it so actually not all the inability to conceived can be medical issues, I'm only saying this base how things work in my place.

[silpersurfer]

Marriage isn't just about having children. If you want to have children without being married, you can even make that happen, either through in vitro fertilization (IVF) or by adopting a child from an orphanage.

I strongly disagree with premarital pregnancy; it's not common practice, and pregnancy outside of marriage is a disgrace. And if you want to have children with the woman you marry, you should visit a gynecologist before marriage. This is an important step to ensure your partner is healthy and to check for infertility. It's better than having sex outside of marriage.

And on the other hand, it should be a warning that nowadays there are quite a lot of cases of premarital pregnancies, but the man is not responsible for what he did to his lover. I've seen incidents where innocent babies were thrown into rivers, brutally murdered.

[KingsDen]

Pregnancy before marriage or after marriage, which do you prefer?


Ask the starving people of Gaza. Does it even matter?

It doesn't really matter mate.
It's only people who have drank water and drop cup peacefully that thinks the direction of Op.
So many people are suffering insecurity, famine and political slavery.
Topics as the Op doesn't even concern them.

[Btcdeybodi]

It's really unfortunate that the ethics of marriage have been destroyed by this generation. A lot of immorality is going on and social media have even led to more immorality because of the kind of contents that people do come across. Biblically, a woman is supposed to get married before getting pregnant for her spouse, I don't believe that a woman getting pregnant before marriage should be a test for her fertility. Some girls even choose to be pregnant just to persuade a man to marry them which is a very bad attitude because if a woman gets pregnant for a man who is not physically and emotionally strong to become a father, it may become a problem.

[Joy- maker]

For me I don't prefer any of them, any one that comes am cool with it, wether pregnancy before marriage or marriage before pregnancy. But with the way things are going now in my country the rate of abortion this time around is high, so if you are not careful enough you might end up marrying a woman who have damaged her womb all in the same of abortion. So be very careful when chosen a wife for a lot of women out there are barring, that's  why most men prefer pregnancy before marriage for them to be sure that the woman they want to marry can bear a them children. But Sincerely speaking this our generation is turning into something else they see abortion as a normal thing which is very bad, although in some cases abortion is the best solution, but aborting a baby shouldn't turn to your habit.

[Obiene12]

I like pregnancy before marriage in the sense that you have already known that you wife to be is fruitful. Pregnancy before marriage also is also good because as a man you know that your manhood is also active. Pregnancy before marriage also shows that you are in a safe relationship that will produce children. Though marriage before pregnancy is also good but the danger of unfruitfulness will take its toll on you if your wife delays in getting pregnant.

[Fiatless]

I like pregnancy before marriage in the sense that you have already known that you wife to be is fruitful. Pregnancy before marriage also is also good because as a man you know that your manhood is also active. Pregnancy before marriage also shows that you are in a safe relationship that will produce children. Though marriage before pregnancy is also good but the danger of unfruitfulness will take its toll on you if your wife delays in getting pregnant.

A friend of mine also has the same mindset and it didn't go well with him. He ensured that his fiancée was pregnant before they got married. Unfortunately, she lost the baby and has not gotten pregnant for close to seven years now. It is not a bad thing to test your bride if she can get pregnant but it is more important to love her beyond that. Childbearing shouldn't be the major criterion for choosing a partner. There are many families with many children, yet there is no peace, love and joy.     

[Man of peace]

Thank you so much for this beautiful question.well ,just like you also said that it's all about what one beliefs,to me i prefer pregnancy before marriage because a lot are happening in this our present time and one needs to be sure of what you are about to go in with,to avoid had i known, because our women of today are not like before, were trusted before...
Alot of our women have done undoable in the name of money and material things..

How can I marry a woman before pregnancy, where we can not stand to defend our women nowadays no matter her age, father did trust her daughter anymore, likewise mother or brother you can't stand with boldness to defend a girl because their unknown secret is greater than their known no matter her age, so that is why I prefer to got her pregnant before getting married with her to confirm that she truly a woman and to believe that she really want to become a mother because not every woman want to be a mother ooh and some of them will not Open up and tell you this is what they want to be,they will allow you to suffer for a very long time before you will notice what they problem really are.i don't want to getting married with my fellow man in name of woman,.

Let me shock you,a friend of mine got married with a young lady and they have stayed for more than 4 years without having any children, and they have been going every where looking for solutions, drinking different harbs and going for medication both of them to know who is really having problems inside the two of them,but the results always show that both of them are ok, and they keep on praying to God and believe that one day God will remember them and this man has been spending money seeking for solutions not knowing that the wife is intentionally did not have to have a child for the man, until one day the man saw a drug inside her hand bag and he took it to the chemist store and and them please what could this drug be and what does it do in human body and the chemist look at it and told him that with this drug woman will never conceive,and the man shouted and narrated what he has been passing through for more than 4 good years in marriage.

So since then it's a very big lesson to me and I will never do the same mistake, I know that sometimes our decision may not be the best,but we can do our best  a human being.. and for those who may prefer marriage before pregnancy, please can you state your reasons why I should not got her pregnant before marriage let me see if you can convince me..

[Pjcr7]

Op, it depends on what the couples want. Do they actually want to be having children from the first year of their marriage, it's okay the lady gets pregnant first. But if they want children coming maybe after 2 or more years of marriage, there's no need getting the lady pregnant first. You see that it is purely subjective.

I totally agree with you, the question is really a subject one and whether one chooses to get pregnant before or after marriage is entirely up to them. Theirs absolutely no crime in that. In some part of the world, the males will want their partner to get pregnant first before marriage so his assured that she's fertile enough to bear him children and some males also don't want pregnancy or children before marriage. All these things all boils down to different individuals.