To have kids or not to? Your opinion from economy perspective

[reefsea]

Although from a spiritual perspective it is always said that children are a blessing from God, but in the end we must realize that nowadays we also have to be realistic in responding to things.

When we are still preoccupied with financial conditions that are still inadequate, there is nothing wrong with delaying until we can really be sure that we can be responsible for our child's life later.
This does not mean that we are not grateful for what God has given but we also have to be responsible afterwards, not only because we are focused on the words “blessings from God”, we do not prepare carefully because after all, children can be said to be a blessing if we are able to be responsible and support them properly but it will be a different story when our conditions are still not able to do this but force us to have children then it will only torture ourselves and our own children in the end.

I totally agree with this. It's true that children are blessings for their parents, and only those who are lucky get to have this blessing and their importance can be asked from the parents who aren't able to have children of their own for medical reasons, because adopting will give you a child, but the feeling that you will have from your own can't be matched. That being said, a human being, especially a man, has to think rationally about things because they are the ones who will need to provide for the family. So, when you think of getting your family extended, you need to make sure that you are capable enough of taking care of the whole family that will now become bigger.

If you don't have a stable income, struggling to eat proper meals yourself with your spouse, then planning a child in this situation is nothing but foolishness because you can clearly see that you are not in the condition to take good care of the child, then you shouldn't plan it in the first place. If you believe that your destiny might change after your child comes in this world, then remember that something like that doesn't happen to everyone.

Don't act as if having children is a gift that gives us the freedom to have as many as we want because ultimately what we need is responsibility especially when we are men.

Indeed this situation may be a little contrary to those who prioritize spiritual and religious words but for now we need to be realistic that having children means we must be prepared for all forms of responsibility especially from a material perspective, from when our children are small until at least they are adults and can earn their own money.

If we only focus on blessings but our responsibilities are poor and only bring our children into misery then it would be better for us to focus on stabilizing our economic conditions first before having more children.

Although from a spiritual perspective it is always said that children are a blessing from God, but in the end we must realize that nowadays we also have to be realistic in responding to things.

When we are still preoccupied with financial conditions that are still inadequate, there is nothing wrong with delaying until we can really be sure that we can be responsible for our child's life later.
This does not mean that we are not grateful for what God has given but we also have to be responsible afterwards, not only because we are focused on the words “blessings from God”, we do not prepare carefully because after all, children can be said to be a blessing if we are able to be responsible and support them properly but it will be a different story when our conditions are still not able to do this but force us to have children then it will only torture ourselves and our own children in the end.

The important point is that we must be realistic, and I agree with you. This isn't to reject God's grace, but we must also prepare for it all. After all, we have to be responsible, right? From food, shelter, clothing, and so on.

I personally don't want to be a criminal to my own child. What I mean is, if we might not be ready for all of that, we can minimize it by not entering. Unless, for example, our economy is doing well and we have children, and then our situation turns sour, that would be a different story.

That is the point. We should not just take refuge in the blessings given by God and then forget our responsibilities towards our own children because, indirectly, when we cannot provide a decent life for our spouse and children, it is a form of crime against the blessings given by God.

This doesn't mean I disagree with having many children, as that is perfectly acceptable, but with the caveat that we are capable of providing a decent life. However, if we are still unable to fulfill this, it would be better to exercise restraint and focus on improving our economic situation.

[Mate2237]

Snip

It depends on the environment or condition you find yourself, if someone is not progressing or is not successful that shouldn't prevent the person not have kids, at least 1 or 2 is enough to someone who is struggling, and I can't advice anyone not to have a kids when the person is above 35 years especially men, kids are gift from spring beings and if you have them they most be a positive way for you to make a provision, but we're condenm is the process whereby someone having a multiple of kids and you have nothing to take care of them, I'm against that, but having 1 when you know that earth is not favourable to you, I think that should be better

giving birth/ have kids is good but do that at your own convenience,don't give birth to kids you won't be able to take care of.most kid's from homes where they where not properly taken care of,are the once causing societal problems today.


 governments of all countries should put laws in place bounding people from giving birth to more than one or two kids, unless you're financially stable or capable to take of more than two kids .and promises your kids will not become a nuisance in society.children are gifts from God but without the right and stable upbringing the kids become trouble to society and this is most times caused by the parents which were not financially ready to have kids.

[xandry]

My wife and I lost all our kids to miscarriages and we are 68 and 69  so kids are not in the picture.

If can be a good life with out the kids as our life is good.

It's nice to see a post with real original thoughts among a string of those who are just participating in an imaginary contest to paraphrase what has already been said. 

Instead of children take care of you, you want hire maid to do that until you end your life? Have you ever checked prices how much it cost to hire a maid? Friend of mine checked how much it cost to send his grandpa do nursing house. It cost from 2k EUR per month for a nursing house where nurse or stuff really take care of patient (not just check once a day if person is still alive). Compared to my expenses on a child, it does not cost 2k EUR per month to take care of a child.

If you do not take into account the desires of your own children, there are several other factors:
There are no guarantees that children will take care of their elders. There are even no guarantees that the children will live to see it.

You're talking about the cost of living in a nursing home for 2,000 euros per month, but it's important to consider which country you have in mind. In the developed countries of the European Union, the minimum wage is about one thousand euros, right? 

[arwin100]

My wife and I lost all our kids to miscarriages and we are 68 and 69  so kids are not in the picture.

If can be a good life with out the kids as our life is good.

It's nice to see a post with real original thoughts among a string of those who are just participating in an imaginary contest to paraphrase what has already been said. 

I'm in same struggle and currently trying to have at least one child, but it seems we're losing hope. We've done everything but still we didn't get any good result as we always fail.

I accept already the situation and won't pressure my wife into those things which I think impossible to happen.

But despite of those struggles we are still happy and enjoy our life together. We don't talk about this matter now and focus on our own welfare. But still looking forward to have some miracle and have at least 1 child since I think the family is complete if there's kids running around in our house.

[Trust_Paid]

What title says,

unless one is well off himself one should not be having kids, this is my opinion.

What about you?

I believe in God, and God said, “go forth and multiply,” so for me it’s just right to have kids.

Having children brings a different kind of happiness. It’s not just about yourself anymore, you become more selfless, you work harder, and you learn to be more responsible because you want to provide and prepare a future for them.

And honestly, we all owe it to our parents too. They chose to have kids, and that’s why we’re even here in this world. Same with you, you’re only here because your parents believed in having children.

I agree with you, yes, we came to this world today because our parents decided to have children. On the other hand, Allah sent us to this world and said that you should decide to have more children. So I think that no matter what the parents are. There is no prohibition on them having children. And having more children creates happiness in the family.

[passwordnow]

I'm in same struggle and currently trying to have at least one child, but it seems we're losing hope. We've done everything but still we didn't get any good result as we always fail.

I accept already the situation and won't pressure my wife into those things which I think impossible to happen.

But despite of those struggles we are still happy and enjoy our life together. We don't talk about this matter now and focus on our own welfare.

That is what is important with your marriage, both of you are enjoying and happy with each other's company. Did you consulted an OB doctor about this matter? I think that they'll be able to help you on how the specifics and what must be done for your wife's bearing of child.

but still looking forward to have some miracle and have at least 1 child since I think the family is complete if there's kids running around in our house.

Just have faith, soon, you'll have it in an unexpected time. I wish that you both will get that but it's nice that you've also letting things happen accordingly and you're not in a hurry.

[KiaKia]

Having kids should be a matter of choice, make sure you are ready for it before bringing any innocent child into this painful world, I pity them souls more than myself honestly because some parents today are giving birth so that they can have people beside them when they are older.

I know a couple who choose to not have kids until they can really afford it, and they have been together for few years already, things are now looking better for them and I like how they planned it all out.

In the beginning things aren't so simple, yet they keep each other very close, they love each other and they don't let the lack of money separate them, and yet they choose to not bring any kids into the world yet, I am pretty impressed with how well they planned themselves.

[libert19]

...

...

I agree with you, yes, we came to this world today because our parents decided to have children.

Often children are just outcome of having sex, especially in poor families.

On the other hand, Allah sent us to this world and said that you should decide to have more children.

You are on crypto forum and as saying goes, 'don't trust, verify' — are you aware by experience that Allah sent you here? And what he said?

[Nuel0717]

What title says,

unless one is well off himself one should not be having kids, this is my opinion.

What about you?

Having kids is good, but it really depends on your financial stability. I once heard someone say he wouldn't have kids if his broke in life because he wouldn't want his children to suffer the way he did.
And this statement actually make's sence, but if everyone starts waiting to be fully well off like you said some might not even have kids.
In my opinion What's actually matters is proper planning, decipline and being able to provide a stable and loving environment, not necessarily wealth.

[xandry]

Often children are just outcome of having sex, especially in poor families.

By the way, yes. That's why we know (from American films) that to prevent unwanted pregnancies, free contraceptives are already being distributed in schools.


I seem to have read the whole topic here, but no one has touched on the topic of unwanted pregnancy. What about raping women and getting pregnant because of it? Is this also done at the behest of the gods?

[junder]

If you do not take into account the desires of your own children, there are several other factors:
There are no guarantees that children will take care of their elders. There are even no guarantees that the children will live to see it.

You're talking about the cost of living in a nursing home for 2,000 euros per month, but it's important to consider which country you have in mind. In the developed countries of the European Union, the minimum wage is about one thousand euros, right? 

With what you say, it happened in my environment, I have a grandmother who has a sibling, we will call her A, this A is quite old and it should be time for her not to work, maybe just rest and in fact she has more than three children, but all her children don't live with her, they didn't even come when the funeral took place. From this I conclude that there is no guarantee that children will take care of their parents when they are old, sometimes there are children who are this bad, why is that because I think at least they should have come to their mother's funeral, but none of the children came at all. I feel sorry for my grandmother's brother because none of the children pay attention to him.

[Lanatsa]

If you do not take into account the desires of your own children, there are several other factors:
There are no guarantees that children will take care of their elders. There are even no guarantees that the children will live to see it.

You're talking about the cost of living in a nursing home for 2,000 euros per month, but it's important to consider which country you have in mind. In the developed countries of the European Union, the minimum wage is about one thousand euros, right? 

With what you say, it happened in my environment, I have a grandmother who has a sibling, we will call her A, this A is quite old and it should be time for her not to work, maybe just rest and in fact she has more than three children, but all her children don't live with her, they didn't even come when the funeral took place. From this I conclude that there is no guarantee that children will take care of their parents when they are old, sometimes there are children who are this bad, why is that because I think at least they should have come to their mother's funeral, but none of the children came at all. I feel sorry for my grandmother's brother because none of the children pay attention to him.

Uncertain family relationships can be people often expect their children to be their support in old age but life doesn’t always work that way sometimes distance personal problems or even pure selfishness get in the way it’s sad when parents give everything for their kids and end up alone when they need love and care the most.

You’re right too about the cost of living and care for the elderly it really depends on the country in many parts of europe a nursing home can easily cost around 2,000 euros each month while the average person earns only about half of that this gap makes it almost impossible for many older people to afford proper care without family help or government support. That’s why it’s important for people to plan early for their later years not just financially but emotionally and socially relying solely on children isn’t a guarantee everyone should build some level of independence and also try to create bonds outside the family so they don’t end up feeling forgotten. Your grandmother’s sibling’s story is painful and sadly not rare it reminds us how unpredictable human behavior can be and how compassion seems to be fading in some families taking care of elders should be about gratitude not obligation but too often it’s treated as a burden we need to keep talking about this so the next generation understands the value of family and respect for those who raised them.

[bettercrypto]

Snip

It depends on the environment or condition you find yourself, if someone is not progressing or is not successful that shouldn't prevent the person not have kids, at least 1 or 2 is enough to someone who is struggling, and I can't advice anyone not to have a kids when the person is above 35 years especially men, kids are gift from spring beings and if you have them they most be a positive way for you to make a provision, but we're condenm is the process whereby someone having a multiple of kids and you have nothing to take care of them, I'm against that, but having 1 when you know that earth is not favourable to you, I think that should be better

giving birth/ have kids is good but do that at your own convenience,don't give birth to kids you won't be able to take care of.most kid's from homes where they where not properly taken care of,are the once causing societal problems today.


 governments of all countries should put laws in place bounding people from giving birth to more than one or two kids, unless you're financially stable or capable to take of more than two kids .and promises your kids will not become a nuisance in society.children are gifts from God but without the right and stable upbringing the kids become trouble to society and this is most times caused by the parents which were not financially ready to have kids.

That’s exactly what’s being said, and it’s especially true when thinking about families in informal settlements where people have no savings, no stable jobs, and live without control over their future. Even if their children grow up without financial resources, a quiet home, and steady income, they often remain children without a future, especially when their families lack guidance.

And in such situations, it’s the parents particularly mothers who often carry the responsibility of shaping their children’s path, despite having no money, no work, or stable income.
That’s why it’s so important for us parents to guide and support our children, because without that, they risk growing up without direction or hope.

[Sexylizzy2813]

I know some persons right from day one they don't like kids and they find it hard to be around children but that shouldn't be a reason for others not to have kids, children are a blessing from God and we shouldn't use because of how difficult the economy is to stop having children. I think this is not about the hardship of the economy, is mainly because of fear that's why maybe for the OP and some other persons and we do forget there are some children that immediately they find their way in any family things will turn out for good, is good to have children but you should know when to stop producing depending on how much you have but it should be a factor to stop having children.

Some person won't have kid because their financial still not stable yet exactly for the new bride have to manage well with financial condition spent out much for having house. Most of them will prioritizing decent housing for his kid one day later and not planning as soon as to have kid after marriage. Nowadays in my environment looks funny, some one with difficult financial condition can't stopping have kid not enough for one kid but also easily for them having three until five kids with short period moment.
I can't imagine with small salary payment how to manage well if have three until five kid exactly most of them need much money for school cost until healthy cost. It must be normalized that if you want to have more than two or three children, you must at least have financial stability and be able to provide them with a decent education and housing. If can't guarantee all it better without having kid or have one kid more enough to control well with current financial condition.

If these set of persons use lack of money as an excuse to not get married like is not the time yet, when is it the right time to get married and start having children? The thing is some people are afraid of having that responsibility on their shoulders, that's it but what I feel is to start from somewhere and also ask for help on how to take care of the little ones, ideas can come in on how to manage the family.
Yes some persons are like that, knowing fully well that feeding alone is a problem they still go ahead to produce more than 3 children (I see these people as the typical example of "go into the World and multiple), is not funny but they really lack family planning and like I said before, even if you're on the producing side is best to know when to stop weigh your pocket before you continue but some find it hard to stop and is bad that is the woman that will suffers for it.
Honestly is better to have in mind how many children you want to have base on how much you earn, an agreement between the couples on the number of children to have is good if not you'd see children as the problem you're facing not knowing that is the man himself that the problem.

[Joeboy]

What title says,

unless one is well off himself one should not be having kids, this is my opinion.

What about you?

I believe in God, and God said, “go forth and multiply,” so for me it’s just right to have kids.

Having children brings a different kind of happiness. It’s not just about yourself anymore, you become more selfless, you work harder, and you learn to be more responsible because you want to provide and prepare a future for them.

And honestly, we all owe it to our parents too. They chose to have kids, and that’s why we’re even here in this world. Same with you, you’re only here because your parents believed in having children.

I agree with you, yes, we came to this world today because our parents decided to have children. On the other hand, Allah sent us to this world and said that you should decide to have more children. So I think that no matter what the parents are. There is no prohibition on them having children. And having more children creates happiness in the family.

The process of having children isn't a spiritual act in itself, it is majorly a physical act which occurs through the sexual intercourse between a man and a woman.  And yeah Parent have the freewill to give birth to as many offspring as they want, but then where this now start becoming a problem is when parent begins to start multiplying dozen of offsprings without them having the finances of taking care of them. Infacct ehn in such instance children wouldn't even be seen a a thing of happiness but rather a thing of pain and constant fighting..........Most of this parent, in order to justify their silly actions and excuse their irresponsibility( of giving birth to a lot of children that they can not even take care of), they begin to say and tell others that children are gift from above, that it is the will of the divine being that they are serving, for them to give birth to lots of children. I mean c'mon we are no longer in the stone age, tis is the 21st century for crying out loud, where we have things like contraceptives, condoms and even other safer and medical ways of enjoying your sex lives without necessary getting pregnant

Just last week a young boy in his 20s from my area who usually go from street to street trying to survive, got knocked down by a motorcycle, and nearly lost his life..... ... Situation like this make me begin to wonder if some parents are even capable of conscience and reasoning, coz if they did, they wouldn't bring countless numbers of children  into the world that they can't take care of and then begin to blame it on the "Devine Will"   while those same children end up suffering and turning beggarss s on the street.

[Tmoonz]

Snip

It depends on the environment or condition you find yourself, if someone is not progressing or is not successful that shouldn't prevent the person not have kids, at least 1 or 2 is enough to someone who is struggling, and I can't advice anyone not to have a kids when the person is above 35 years especially men, kids are gift from spring beings and if you have them they most be a positive way for you to make a provision, but we're condenm is the process whereby someone having a multiple of kids and you have nothing to take care of them, I'm against that, but having 1 when you know that earth is not favourable to you, I think that should be better

giving birth/ have kids is good but do that at your own convenience,don't give birth to kids you won't be able to take care of.most kid's from homes where they where not properly taken care of,are the once causing societal problems today.


 governments of all countries should put laws in place bounding people from giving birth to more than one or two kids, unless you're financially stable or capable to take of more than two kids .and promises your kids will not become a nuisance in society.children are gifts from God but without the right and stable upbringing the kids become trouble to society and this is most times caused by the parents which were not financially ready to have kids.

One funny thing in most of our society today is that it is even though that doesn't a good financial stability to take care of children that are given birth to children compared to those that much more financial stability, I believe that there are countries that want the increase in population while there are those complaining of over population hence the idea of putting laws in place bounding people from not given birth to more than two might not work in all countries just as you said , the government of an nation will only react based on their personal circumstances.

[barisbilgili]

Snip

It depends on the environment or condition you find yourself, if someone is not progressing or is not successful that shouldn't prevent the person not have kids, at least 1 or 2 is enough to someone who is struggling, and I can't advice anyone not to have a kids when the person is above 35 years especially men, kids are gift from spring beings and if you have them they most be a positive way for you to make a provision, but we're condenm is the process whereby someone having a multiple of kids and you have nothing to take care of them, I'm against that, but having 1 when you know that earth is not favourable to you, I think that should be better

giving birth/ have kids is good but do that at your own convenience,don't give birth to kids you won't be able to take care of.most kid's from homes where they where not properly taken care of,are the once causing societal problems today.


 governments of all countries should put laws in place bounding people from giving birth to more than one or two kids, unless you're financially stable or capable to take of more than two kids .and promises your kids will not become a nuisance in society.children are gifts from God but without the right and stable upbringing the kids become trouble to society and this is most times caused by the parents which were not financially ready to have kids.

One funny thing in most of our society today is that it is even though that doesn't a good financial stability to take care of children that are given birth to children compared to those that much more financial stability, I believe that there are countries that want the increase in population while there are those complaining of over population hence the idea of putting laws in place bounding people from not given birth to more than two might not work in all countries just as you said , the government of an nation will only react based on their personal circumstances.

This awareness must grow within ourselves before deciding to have children. Never rely on others, because we will ultimately be the ones to suffer the consequences of our decisions.
These days, many people are reckless in deciding to have children, ultimately burdening themselves by working harder to meet all their needs. So, I believe we must take wise steps before deciding to have children, and we must prepare early. We must also realize that having children will cost a lot of money, so savings and investments are things that must be prepared early.

[Sexylizzy2813]

... I see those who don't like babies as selfish individuals because they only think of themselves than others that's why having a baby around is lie a big borden.

I am offended. I don't see how it's selfish when if you decide to not have a kid, it harms none, and kids are spared from death as well; people call, 'gift of life', but I always saw it as, more like, 'gift of death' — may be I am a pessimist, or may be a realist because what I said is factual, no?

Well I'm sorry for offending you unknowingly but what I'm trying to say is that the way you see kids is like they are the problem surrending us and you make it look like they are a burden, that they block opportunities that comes your way, honestly bro, children are brought into this world not by their own will and whenever they do, they face the same problems as we the adult. But what I'll remind you is that you were ones a child too and you survived so many hard times and you should give one a chance but if you don't Iike to then abstain from sex completely because without sex no one will say you're going to become a father, at least it will make you feel free...just saying you know?

[libert19]

... I see those who don't like babies as selfish individuals because they only think of themselves than others that's why having a baby around is lie a big borden.

I am offended. I don't see how it's selfish when if you decide to not have a kid, it harms none, and kids are spared from death as well; people call, 'gift of life', but I always saw it as, more like, 'gift of death' — may be I am a pessimist, or may be a realist because what I said is factual, no?

Well I'm sorry for offending you unknowingly but what I'm trying to say is that the way you see kids is like they are the problem surrending us and you make it look like they are a burden, that they block opportunities that comes your way, honestly bro, children are brought into this world not by their own will and whenever they do, they face the same problems as we the adult.

I literally say what I say looking from kids pov, I don't think I have ever made 'em look like a problem. Can you show me where exactly I did?

But what I'll remind you is that you were ones a child too and you survived so many hard times...

I may have survived hard times, but I didn't need to, I could have been completely fine without having been born.

...and you should give one a chance but if you don't Iike to then abstain from sex completely because without sex no one will say you're going to become a father, at least it will make you feel free...just saying you know?

I am COMPLETELY convinced in my mind it's useless to bring kids into this world, and sex and kids are not interrelated in this age of intelligence with contraceptives and procedures like vasectomy available.

[BigBos]

The important point is that we must be realistic, and I agree with you. This isn't to reject God's grace, but we must also prepare for it all. After all, we have to be responsible, right? From food, shelter, clothing, and so on.

I personally don't want to be a criminal to my own child. What I mean is, if we might not be ready for all of that, we can minimize it by not entering. Unless, for example, our economy is doing well and we have children, and then our situation turns sour, that would be a different story.

That is the point. We should not just take refuge in the blessings given by God and then forget our responsibilities towards our own children because, indirectly, when we cannot provide a decent life for our spouse and children, it is a form of crime against the blessings given by God.

This doesn't mean I disagree with having many children, as that is perfectly acceptable, but with the caveat that we are capable of providing a decent life. However, if we are still unable to fulfill this, it would be better to exercise restraint and focus on improving our economic situation.

The point is that we should not be selfish by hiding behind beautiful words, because life cannot only depend on that. Maybe we can be selfish towards ourselves, because the one who will bear the impact is ourselves. But in this case, if we are selfish then the one who will feel the impact is our little family, especially children.

I have learned a lot from divorce due to economic factors, and the victims are the children where they do not get the love of both parents. To me this is a form of evil that results from lack of preparation. Nowadays there is a lot of young marriage trends, I don't have a problem with that, but when I see them not having an income and still depending on their parents, I think it is a selfish act.