Why some women stand by men during struggles, yet the man later mistreats her.

[Zlantann]

‎In our society today you will understand that may young lady have face alot of heartbreak, and disappointment, all because of trying to be an understanding woman when the man was poor, broke and had nothing to contribute, not until things started turning out well, you will now realize that she's the problem.

Relationships should be based on love and companionship. Money shouldn't be the only criterion to have someone by your side. Both parties have the responsibility of contributing to the success of the relationship. It doesn't need to be only the man who will take care of the financial needs of the home. I wouldn't be in a relationship where the focus of a party is financial gains.     

‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be  calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

You are generalising, which is wrong. Not all men will dump a woman after they become financially stable. Your perception is ahaped by wrong experince since you met the wrong guys. Remember that there are many rich folks out there who will maltreat you because you contributed nothing to thier success.

[Findingnemo]

I think most of those women are extinct over the 20th century itself, now we have a new normal. 

I am talking about the majority here, so if anyone feels the opposite, then you are free to deny or ignore my comment here. So the trend among the women changed, now they want their partner to be already successful when they get into a relationship and even if they are financially successful, they expect them to be a puppet for all their life yet they want them to be successful.

Most of the young women are confused by the feminist propaganda and forget how they lead a life with their partner.

There is no bias here and we must also admit that this happens to both genders. This depends more on the personality of each person than the gender but I somewhat agree with you, this happens more with modern women.

Women today not only set high standards for their partners, but many are also willing to leave their partners if they no longer meet their material needs. But then again, that's just a group of women, not all of them. There are still a lot of good women and a lot of bad men like OP's story.

While the majority falls into the category of leaving when their partner is not enough instead trying to get better together, which used to be the case when it was the good old days. We can't blame anyone for this evolution since it's part of the natural process. So as a men it is their responsibility to pick their women for long journey instead of just for their looks alone.

[Bitcoin Maxi]

This can either happen to both sides. We also need to know that change is constant and that people are bound to change at any given time. I have also heard of situations where women leave or abandoned their men because they are now doing better than the men. Relationship was meant to allow partners to stand by each other, support each other, be each other backbone in trying and in hard times. Now I don't even seem to understand what it is all about again and I won't even blame women that say they can't be a understanding partner, because of where understanding has landed some women. For the women, working on your personal growth and development should be paramount, get a skill, do something at least something you can earn from and prioritize yourself first. Everyone is blind to changes.

[BADecker]

Why some women stand by men during struggles, yet the man later mistreats her.


The answer is simple. The man is mean by not letting his woman sit by him in the family portrait photo. Of course, that's the way they were often situated by the photographer in the old days. Maybe they still are in some places.

[Juicyhome]

‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be  calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

This poor mentality, so many doesn't deserve love because he doesn't money but women can still stay with a man without money and contribute nothing to his growth aside sex and tomorrow if another woman pick him and give him money to startup business, you expect same man to marry the girl that was just offering sex. It doesn't work that way, if you want to endure with a man ensure you contribute and not just sex. 

Is good for women to make their own money and stop to wait on men that they will stay with , build your future just the way men are building their, never kill your dream because of men, good as you have experienced it, I believe you're we iser now.

[Marykeller]

Before going into any relationship as a man or a woman, it is better to define the relationship, whether you are both dating for marriage or just dating because you both are in love, to see what happens, if it will work out for you both, or not as married couples. You can't be dating on such a narrative and expect nothing of heartbreak to happen(it is bound to happen).

Men and women can fall out of love at any time, no matter the years they have been together. Don't think that because you have been dating someone for long, it will surely end in marriage. Not all end that way. That's why at first you have to define your relationship with that person earlier, so that nobody wastes the other person's time or has them deceive in the name of marriage

[Princess Leah]

 Some people are in a relationship with people out of pity and sometimes it could be cause of what they stand to gain and I'm nor going to be in support of one gender cause it goes both way for male and females, such things happen when there's no true love from either of the spouses, cause when there's love they'll stand by each other through thicks and thin both for rich and for poor.

 Well it's the man responsibility to be a provider and if he finds a woman that can stand by him even when he's not able to do his duties as a man then he should respect her and value her but when there's no love from the man's end he'll mistreat her when he's no more struggling, similar situations happens to men too and it all boils down to lack of love and dating or being in a relationship out of pity and what one stands to benefit.

[Rockson1]

Some people are in a relationship with people out of pity and sometimes it could be cause of what they stand to gain and I'm nor going to be in support of one gender cause it goes both way for male and females, such things happen when there's no true love from either of the spouses, cause when there's love they'll stand by each other through thicks and thin both for rich and for poor.

 Well it's the man responsibility to be a provider and if he finds a woman that can stand by him even when he's not able to do his duties as a man then he should respect her and value her but when there's no love from the man's end he'll mistreat her when he's no more struggling, similar situations happens to men too and it all boils down to lack of love and dating or being in a relationship out of pity and what one stands to benefit.

The point you made here is love and says it all but people pretend alot, when everything is very much alright, we may not identify who loves us, relationship presently is just like a business for both male and female,ni wanted to say female only but with what we see everyday in the society, there are men that enter into relationship for there selfish gains especially when the woman is a well to do woman and once they get what they want in the relationship, there partner automatically becomes a trash to them, likewise women, I don't want to bring religion into this, I would have said it takes the grace of good for people to love and get the same in return or to be in a truthful relationship that is free from advantage taking by either of of the partners, reacting to what the OP said, women also do the same to men, not that am supporting any gender but in this case, women do this more, but is unfortunate that some persons don't think of karma.

[Oshio-man]

I don't blame guys that drop their girlfriend when they arrived their dreams, if truly your parents train you well as a lady, you don't need to relax on man that have not pay your brid price because the man will no longer value you when he arrive financially, I know many ladies and men have experience a lot of heartbreak from their relationship because some ladies and men want to get marry to a wealthy man or woman, but they are not wealthy, as  a single man or woman make sure you have something doing on your own that is bringing profits before going into relationship that will lead to marriage because it will not  make man think he can break a woman heart but those that depend on men is very easy for them to experience heartbreak from men.

[Mhizlove]

You're indeed correct, and I know this your experience has thought you alot. Many ladies has stood by men during when they're struggling,and at the end only for this same men to cold towards them because things are better..
I don't blame you, I understand very well why you choose to put yourself first before any other thing or man.

What a good decision you took there, is not about being wicked or mean to yourself but that's wisdom you applied. As a lady just work on yourself, make your own money, build your life to avoid being used or make you feel less of yourself. Just be wise and the choice you make in life will end up protecting your peace.

[Roseline492]

Even if the person is earning weekly and monthly they will still see the lady as the problem if is the person nature, is not having more at first that makes them better but there character because this case is not the same to all the people who didn't have anything before they marry because in some after the later coming of the money they treated there spouse better. Although what you said is what a lot of people do because money comes with a taste and when the man is not responsible instead of Furnishing there wife to have the standard of there taste they instead reject and do not care for her with the lost of memory of how the woman stood by him.

[GigaBit]

I think that one should not get involved in any relationship influenced by emotions, be it a girl or a boy. Everyone should accept the reality. If a girl stands by a boy in his bad times, that boy should definitely value that girl the most in his good times. But if someone does not do that and neglects him, it means that he forgets his past, which he should never do. In the case of girls too, one should think carefully before taking any decision so that he does not have to face any kind of problem later.

[Vod]

Women really got the short end of the stick with the digital revolution. 

Since the start of civilized society, women have been the prize because they were rare in the working environment - they stayed home.   A man could meet just a few women in his life and he had to be serious about courting.    Same for women - they would meet very few men while unescorted.    Plus, men only think about one thing, so a woman's body became a credit card.  (swipe between these lol).  Women got in free to events, drawing in the paying men.  Women were mysterious, ladylike and knew what place they served in society (just like men).  Then they started demanding we leave them alone, and we listened.

Women hit the wall at around 35 - after that point their credit limit expires.  Meanwhile men can shoot their shot with any woman in the world.   If a woman spends her youth giving easy access only to bad boys, why should a man be interested in her?   He has so many options nowadays.      So, to answer why a man would mistreat a woman that helped him - he's an asshole who thinks youth overrides experience.     But that's also the behaviour I saw clubbing in the 90's - women choosing looks over personality.   Society needs a reset. 

[Borbb]

You're absolutely right the both parties should be independent apart from some gradual support from each other struggle on your own don't wait for anybody to come and date you first or marry you try to make it by yourself self let it not be that only one person in a relationship is always supporting and as a lady always have this in mind  that makes a guy loose interest in a relationship is when the other doesn't support but always demanding this are the course of some heartbreak today or even if you're there why he doesn't has nothing no does not mean your relationship will last forever we are human beings change can take place anytime don't make it look as if he is will carry all your responsibility.

[BitBakerr1]

Relationship should be base on love and not who can provide in the relationship, how can you say if a man can't provide for a girl he shouldn't go into a relationship, a lot of girls just see a man as someone who should always be providing in a relationship but is not suppose to be so if a man can't provide and the woman can provide them it shouldn't be a problem, not only men disappoint women even women disappoint men too, I have seen a lot of men training a girl in the university after doing that the girl will leave them and marry another person so stop sounding like it is only men that disappoint women, some girls when you are dating them and you are broke they will make the relationship a living hell for you and they expect you to treat them well when you have made money is not possible.

[Dunamisx]

Some relationships cannot be interfered, because we don't know how they both run it for themselves, its only what we see them do to each other that we tend to work by, not knowing what could have transpired between that is not opened to the public, we don't have to be one sided when judging relationship and marriage affairs.

Also, we don't know what and what could have been the reason behind the every reaction we see them do, it all varies and depends on the parties involved and what the meant on each other, because not everyone has a forgiven spirit, some will make sure they retaliate upon any evil that is being done on them.

[Gozie51]

It happens to both sex. I have seen a guy that had a business and saw this beautiful girl he loves. He told her he wants to get married to her. She accepted in only one condition that he will allow her go to the university. The guy accepted and trained the girl till she graduated. She dumped him for her course mate in school. A relationship is not marriage and both parties can do whatever, they like when they don't love each other.

This is a true life story and a lot of it has happened. People should get wiser and not to allow what they hear from their partner in relationship confuse them from sane reasoning. If you see a partner you intend to marry both man or woman, marry them and they can still go to school in the marriage if they desire it. Nothing stops any body with passion to achieve what they want. There are many married people going to school.

There are little things that can make people go their separate ways in friendship/relationship but that same thing can be looked over if they were married. These days though, I think that practice of training people in school with the promise of marriage is fast disappearing.

‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you,  after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be  calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

Some times people don't go into such relationship for marriage immediately. You can see someone you like and you guys become friends and start to date, it happens like that too. Overall, I think most times the woman is ready for marriage before the man. So it is better for the women to enter into a relationship with a man looking ready to settle down and again it is not a blanket cheque that people in relationship will marry each other.

[o48o]

‎In our society today you will understand that may young lady have face alot of heartbreak, and disappointment, all because of trying to be an understanding woman when the man was poor, broke and had nothing to contribute, not until things started turning out well, you will now realize that she's the problem.

‎As a man you're not supposed to go into any relationship when you have nothing that gives you money monthly or weekly, you can't keep a lady for years to stand by you, after you've become successful that's when you will feel that she's not a good person , that's when you will be calling her a liability, I have been in such situation before, and I have decided never in my life will I grow with any guy, make your money yourself before you look for a girl, as a lady we need to wise up, have something to do rather than depending on man for survival.

Imho that's more like a personal issue with immature partner and i am sorry that happened to you.

Sounds like someone was just abusing you and when they didn't need you anymore they become entitled enough to throw you away.
You or your partner might see the issue based on gender norms, and it might have root in that, and your partner might have felt ashamed of his situation, so he took it out on you.,

If you don't want to avoid relationships after that, it's perfectly understandable. I have been in healthy relationships where i have made more money, and where i have been broke and my companion have made more money then me. And while it sometimes created tensions, i am not judging anyone for being broke, even for rest of their lives. Broke people can bring a lot to relationship, as it's not just about money. Money just creates financial safety and that's basically only thing it brings to table. There are things you can bring into the same table that can't be bought with any amount of money, but that requires effort and mental work.

[Pauldesaints]

It all depends on individual character and attitudes,yes such a thing do happen but for me I can't imagine turning around to attack a lady who stood by me during difficult situations on the ground that I have made it now to look for another person.its very wrong attitude and if such lady goes into prayers and shade tears before God for the disappointment it will affect the man in question negatively.likewise the female genders,let's all trade with caution while looking for life time partners.