Be mindful of who you advices as persistent ignorant also ends in regrets

[Porfirii]

If I were his wife, I would divorce him or take him to the hospital to treat his addiction, as I believe that's the most appropriate solution in such a situation.

To divorce him might not be the right solution, if you love someone deeply, you might want to help them have a repentance in a particular habit that could lead to their destruction. Let her take him to a psychologist and let him get help, maybe if she has tried every solution and yet he refuses to change, then she can leave if she can't keep up. I'm not pleased by his reaction towards the woman in the presence of his friend, who knows what other disrespect that have been going on between them.

Yes, he already mentioned the alternative to take him to the hospital, but you're also right that most surely this wasn't the first sign of disrespect, and once the habit has been built it is very difficult to change it, and it requires willpower that not always exists. We have said it before, you can try to help and give advice, but it's like the metaphor of the door: you can show a person the door, but it is the person himself who has to walk through it.

[landheer]

....

I have someone who comes to me and always complains to me as if he wants to get advice from me. But it's quite annoying when I give him advice but he doesn't seem to want to listen to it. It turns out they just want to be heard without listening to others. And even my advice seems to never reach their ears. But when they lose a bet and come back with more complaints, they return to me wanting to be heard. And I'm really uncomfortable with people like that, so I decided to keep my distance and only speak when necessary. Our relationship remained good. But from that moment on, I learned not to care too much about other people. I didn't even want to give advice to others anymore, unless someone asked for it and listened carefully. Especially when it came to gambling. I preferred to pretend to be more ignorant than the person asking the question, even though I actually knew more than they did.

[cryptoaddictchie]

This situation shows how addiction distorts judgment, turning genuine concern into hostility and pushing loved ones away. It highlights the painful reality that logic and advice often fail when someone is deeply addicted. In such cases, the safest path is setting boundaries and directing the person toward professional help when their life is at risk.

I pity him he should get some help like medical or rehabilitation.

[Distinctin]

The truth is, not all who listen to us will then follow. Most of the time, they take what they feel is right and ignore others' opinions and advice. That is why I barely advise anyone, especially strangers. All I do is to make some sort of recommendation and suggestion. I can cite many examples for them to learn from. But to change their life out of addiction? I won't because it was their choice. At the end of the day, their future lies in their hands, not with someone else (like me).

[Zigabel]

It is really sad how temperamental people can be and react differently with issues when they come, some people actually really difficult to help, regardless of the situation, they have this natural resistance to help and suggestions when given them in oder to get them to safety from a pending doom ahead, this man's case is a typical one of someone been too difficult to help but then it does not mean you are still going to not help them if the need be because actually, in the end they still need family and friends when.they go through difficult times like this, even when it was brought upon them by their actions. Apart from family and very close friends, it is good to be mindful of who we advise for our own safety and not just for them.

[Hewlet]

And he sanctioned me agressively that I should not try to advice him in anyway again especially when it gets to do with his personal decision.

That's him being foolish to a reasonable degree because there's no way you can be too right that a third party can't advice you any longer. Even if you're a responsible gambler, you still need the opinion of a third party.

Sometimes people threaten others with suicide as though if they eventually commit it, it's going to Affect others far more than themselves. You don't want to take advice and wants to go ahead to commit suicide and you think I should be worried about you? You must be a joker. if I see you doing what I feel will endanger your life, I will not sit back, I will speak up but if after speaking up you take it badly, that's your problem to face.

[Dunamisx]

We can try our best, pout in more efforts to see that we render the brotherly advise to those around us from how they are gambling, but it is also left to them to decide on what they really want as to how they are gambling, not everyone yields to advice as we know, while we can also admit that some do, because they are subjected to change, but if some never have a reason of learning from their mistakes, they may never take what you're telling them serious for any reason.

[Fiasem20]

There’s nothing wrong in what you did by giving him some advices,but probably you gave the advice at the time he had an argument with he’s wife about he’s gambling lifestyle and at that moment he was still angry,so at that point you should have postponed the advice to some other time when he’s in a happy mood.Though most persons dislike when they’re being advised,but as for me I don’t care if you don’t take advice,if we’re close and cool at same time and I find out whatever you’re doing isn’t right I would advise you and move on,it’s left for you to take the advice and work on yourself or not.Don’t feel any form of regret for advising your friend,you only did that when he was already angry that was why he transferred aggression on you.

[348Judah]

We should not advise others in such a way that they will have to hold us responsible for failing in their decisions, because we are not vouching for them, instead, we should let them understand everything about what they are getting into, both the risk and the safe part, so that the decision to continue or quit will lie in their hands, and if the worse happened, we are not going to be responsible for such, since we are not part of their decision making process.

[dunfida]

If I were his wife, I would divorce him or take him to the hospital to treat his addiction, as I believe that's the most appropriate solution in such a situation.

To divorce him might not be the right solution, if you love someone deeply, you might want to help them have a repentance in a particular habit that could lead to their destruction. Let her take him to a psychologist and let him get help, maybe if she has tried every solution and yet he refuses to change, then she can leave if she can't keep up. I'm not pleased by his reaction towards the woman in the presence of his friend, who knows what other disrespect that have been going on between them.

Yes, he already mentioned the alternative to take him to the hospital, but you're also right that most surely this wasn't the first sign of disrespect, and once the habit has been built it is very difficult to change it, and it requires willpower that not always exists. We have said it before, you can try to help and give advice, but it's like the metaphor of the door: you can show a person the door, but it is the person himself who has to walk through it.

Divorce feels like the fastest reaction but not always the wisest first step. When addiction is involved the behavior usually comes from something deeper than simple choice. If love still exists trying to guide the person toward help makes more sense than abandoning them immediately. Professional support like therapy or medical care gives a real chance for change. Walking away too early can leave both people carrying unfinished pain.

At the same time respect cannot be ignored or excused. Public humiliation and repeated disrespect often signal a long standing pattern not a single mistake. Helping someone only works when they are willing to accept help. You can point out the door and hold it open but you cannot force anyone to walk through it. If every effort fails and the damage continues choosing distance becomes self protection not cruelty.

[Sammye3]

The popular saying, "you can force a horse to the stream but you can't force it to drink water" is where a situation like this comes in. It's a really serious issue for him right now given the fact that he is married and worse if he has kids, because that's irresponsibility of the highest order.

He actually dismissed his wife's opinion when naturally she was only trying to help and help me control his losses, but I guess his greed and self control has got the best of him. Addiction definitely alters one's mental, emotional and physical health with disrupted behaviors that could affect one's lifestyle.

As a friend, you are in the best position to call him to order even if it means losing your friendship because that's what friendship is all about. Putting him to order, learning to take responsibility and emulating respect should be seen in your friendship because I think it's only a matter of time before his marriage ends.

[348Judah]

Its not about being persistent to gambling or being over zealous for wining, we should understand what gambling is and why we should stay protected for our own purpose, also, as gamblers, we should not be found misleading on others, not everything we must know or do, the little we have idea about should be contributed, while others should remain unattended to, because we cant afford to mislead others by our negligence.

[Shinpako09]

That is urgent. They need to keep him away from gambling as soon as possible and provide constant support from his family. Even without your advice, he was already in that state before you talked to him. It was his frustration, and your advice, coupled with his loss, triggered it even more. If he were more open minded and had taken your advice, it wouldn’t have triggered him that way. But he prioritized his pride instead of doing what was best for him. You don’t need to feel guilty or blame yourself for whatever happens next.

[Tigerheart3026]

i know many friends who have become so addicted to gambling that they refuse to listen to any advice, they don’t care my advise even their family always try to convince but they didn’t listen any advice, it’s a very hard addiction in gambling,
i see if they start gambling in a day, then win big but they didn’t stop their game even lose again again also didn’t stop and playing recklessly, i think they need to go rehabilitation like rehab, it’s responsibility of their family.  

[Maus0728]

Of course that goes without saying, not being mindful of how you give advice and being too controlling or always trying to judge the addict's action will end up making the addiction much worse because they will end up with not listening to you even if the advice is the most perfect of them all. Being too nosey in someone else's business is always a bad idea, unless you can justify the prying and the dictation of how they should approach their addiction recovery then by all means do it but other than that, definitely be mindful and careful how you will approach those people.

[hedgeh0g]

Of course that goes without saying, not being mindful of how you give advice and being too controlling or always trying to judge the addict's action will end up making the addiction much worse because they will end up with not listening to you even if the advice is the most perfect of them all. Being too nosey in someone else's business is always a bad idea, unless you can justify the prying and the dictation of how they should approach their addiction recovery then by all means do it but other than that, definitely be mindful and careful how you will approach those people.

I've long ago decided that I don't want to give advice to friends or acquaintances, not just about gambling but about money in general. If they're lucky or manage to win big, they'll simply say it was their fault and I didn't help them. If they lose, they'll simply shift the blame to me or someone else. So why should I advise them anything after that? I simply won't, even though I used to think I wanted to help and offer advice. Perhaps it's vanity among gamblers and people, I don't know, but I see it more and more often. Personally, I'm always open to advice from others and will never blame them, even if I lose.

[Pandorak]

I was persistent of telling him the reality about the risk of his decision as it concerns gambling but he ushered me out through the door and asked me to stay off from his life.
This morning his wife texted me that her husband want to commit suicide after loosing a historical lost in his gambling history following the incident of his ignorance yesterday.

Honestly, i really hate people like this. They are so irresponsible, he should have thought about it first before making such a fatal mistake. even when all his money was gone, he still didn't realise it. Instead of learning a valuable lesson, apologising to his wife and promising to control his gambling spending, he did something completely illogical, he decided to commit suicide. That is the act of a coward, he only thought about himself, without realising that his wife was suffering even more because of what he had done.

I say this based on personal experience. Not only did i lose my gambling budget, but even all the savings i had with my wife were gone in one night. Even after that, instead of stopping, i borrowed money to gamble again, hoping that my previous losses could be recovered if i played again. In reality, there is no such thing. If there is, it is probably only experienced by a handful of people. In the end, everything was gone, we didn't start from zero again, we started from a deficit because of the loans that had to be repaid. But life must go on, let the past be a lesson, the future is still long, and many good things will happen.

[SamReomo]

Although, you did well OP by advising him but he (your friend) was actually facing gambling addiction at a severe level and such people will get aggressive when someone tells them to not gamble a lot. In aggression such addicts sometimes beat up their wives and also sometime commit suicide and do worst things.

If you really want to help your friend then tell her wife to take care of him and also tell someone who might be very important for him, more than his wife to give his some advice. If none of it works then tell her to admit him to rehab center to get some professional help as that's the last option for an addict with such high intensity.

[swogerino]

if his wife already remind him to withdraw but he ignored it, and she also mentioned "again" it's mean he not learn from his mistake before. He already on gambling addict, and will not accept any advice from anyone anymore. no matter how good someone give him advice he will rejected it. Because wife one of person who have power to stopped him but she unable to stop him because of his ignorance.

Wife in this context is even more ignorant than him in my opinion. A good wife should tell her husband to stop, at least mine has told me several times to stop gambling because you are losing time and some money in order to just make some more money and in the end I have listened to her. I rarely gamble nowadays and it is only to play poker where I have told her that it is a game of skill much different from the slot machines that she has seen me playing and for the moment she believes me. Now getting back to the argument, a gambler who is an addict needs help and the first one to give such help is family especially the wife in this case, this type of gambler needs a guidance and the guidance should be from someone who cares for his well-being.

[Odusko]

This remind me of the story of the guy at the bar that got his friend locked up because he lost the 100k naira that he loaned him to gamble with, this time, he have already taken the bet and he was already having avaliable cashout of up to #400,000 naira as the expected wining is around #700,000, his friend asked him to cashout the balance he refused with intentions to wait till the end of the game, but towards the end of the match the opposition equalize and he lost the entire bet leaving with zero balance, this triggered his friend anger to demand for immediate refund which ultimately ended them in the police station