Gambling turn into slavery.

[junder]

Am just curious of what I can possibly do to help a friend that has turns into a slave in gamble. He no longer care for his family perhaps his kid's have been sent away from school and he didn't give a fuck about it, his wife complains all day concerning his attitude towas them, he barely stay or spend time with his family, a lot has gone wrong so to speak. And the craziest of it is that most times people come looking for him at home because of the money he normally borrowed from them which I believe was used to fund his addicted Gambling life style.

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

There is no need to feel guilty, because with you who have tried many ways to make him realize it is already good and the rest of the decisions are on his own even though it is wrong but yes, that's how gambling can indeed make a person become more stubborn by holding on to his gambling desires even though he has experienced difficulties in his life and even the bad effects are not experienced only by him.
 
I think your job here is done, I myself have experienced it like you and in the end I just let it go until it realizes itself.

[impulse709]

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

Can't help with that person but to see him personally destroy his own family with his bare hands. He might wake up on his dreams but seeing that his family is starting to get hunger and asking him what they should eat or if he loves them. Those are going to be music but loud to his ears. If it's still not going to work, forcing him into a facility of rehabilitation is the end game but he has to cover all of those expenses or if someone from his family loves him to get recover or simply wants him to stay as is and that's the kind of love that's hard to accept.

I agree that the friend should be admitted into a rehab because his addiction has gone beyond what a friend can advice and talk him out of, since he has the mind to ignore his own family's wellbeing that means that he has lost his sense of reasoning. There are different stages of addiction and he's is at the top, if a person can bear to watch his family suffer and continue on his destructive part then he truly needs professional help. Problem is that professional help costs money and if somebody is not there to pay the bill that would be another problem except if their government have a free facility for addicts.

I agree that this is already a gambling experience far outside of the normal because if family responsibilities are neglected, then it is serious. But I wouldn't say that the person has lost his sense of reason, because with addiction, his decision making is altered and he will make choices that he wouldn't make otherwise. Rehab can help, but force can't ensure results if unwilling to change. Again, a combination of family, close friends and professional advice often has a better chance of recovery than a single option.

[CryptoYar]

It is disheartening when someone you'd like to see succeed devastates their own life, and completely oblivious to consequences. This is form of gambling addiction when it has reached its extreme stage. I think there is not a man in the world who can shoulder this burden on his own anymore so time has come to stop trying to save him and start trying to save his vulnerable family. You have to setup well planned and premeditated intervention with his wife and close relatives or family to lock him out legally and financially so that children can return to school. He will pursue professional rehabilitation only when all other avenues of finance have been exhausted and he has hit bottom. You are protector of his family not a cushion for his poor decisions.

[bakasabo]

A voluntary slavery. There is no way to help your friend who gambling has turned into slave unless he himself wants to end being a slave. Your friend might in such situation, when bad things must happen before he realizes that he needs to start acting, doing something to change his life. A situation when a person must learn from mistakes hard way.

Try searching on the forum topics about how to help addicted gambler. It was discussed million times already, but here you wont get anything new.

[henmark]

Am just curious of what I can possibly do to help a friend that has turns into a slave in gamble. He no longer care for his family perhaps his kid's have been sent away from school and he didn't give a fuck about it, his wife complains all day concerning his attitude towas them, he barely stay or spend time with his family, a lot has gone wrong so to speak. And the craziest of it is that most times people come looking for him at home because of the money he normally borrowed from them which I believe was used to fund his addicted Gambling life style.

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

Thought it was literal, like your friend is like a literal slave to someone to earn money to gamble, although people by default is like that. We are a salve of money or to our employers. So what is the difference? But after all, being addicted in gambling or any other addictions is still not right and should be treated.

Your friend seem to play in a physical casino because if it was only online, then bonding with his family may still be possible. But another reason could be on why he is not always at home is like you said that there are people looking at him, begging him to now pay his loans to them.

But this is risky on the people left in the house because they may get threatened or harmed if the issue persist and those people got annoyed already. I like the fact that you are concerned about your friend but he won't even listen to his own family, so how much more to you? The only thing I can see that may change him is when his family got broken already or when he got jailed due to uncontrolled debts.

[Hardyrobust]

A voluntary slavery. There is no way to help your friend who gambling has turned into slave unless he himself wants to end being a slave. Your friend might in such situation, when bad things must happen before he realizes that he needs to start acting, doing something to change his life. A situation when a person must learn from mistakes hard way.

Try searching on the forum topics about how to help addicted gambler. It was discussed million times already, but here you wont get anything new.

It is not possible to save someone that is not ready to be saved. Until an addicted gambler realised how gambling has impacted there lives negatively, it won't be possible to save them. At that stage there is no form of advice that will make them to change there minds about gambling. So if they are able to see reasons or realise that gambling is actually destroying them, they will begin to make effort in other to quit gambling.

[PhilosopherKing]

Am just curious of what I can possibly do to help a friend that has turns into a slave in gamble. He no longer care for his family perhaps his kid's have been sent away from school and he didn't give a fuck about it, his wife complains all day concerning his attitude towas them, he barely stay or spend time with his family, a lot has gone wrong so to speak. And the craziest of it is that most times people come looking for him at home because of the money he normally borrowed from them which I believe was used to fund his addicted Gambling life style.

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

that your friend have enter full blown addiction. And when person is addicted he sometimes will not even realize how deeply addicted they are. What the person will just be thinking about is that one more win will come and fixed everything that they have used their hands to fuck up. Don't beat yourself up man, you have done your best to talk him out of it. Plenty addict usually wake up when they have face the consequences of their actions. You cannot force person that don't want to change but since you his friend try this things.

= Don't lend him money and tell people around too not to lended him money
= Get a psychologist for him
= Make him reduce the access that he is having to gamble.
= Continue talking to him

[nara1892]

It's fundamentally difficult to help gamblers overcome addiction. In the case you described, the OP even neglected his family, as you mentioned. From this, it can be concluded that, let alone us, who are nobodies, even his own family can't be a catalyst for his awakening.
Such gamblers usually only come to their senses after experiencing significant losses, and even then, it's only temporary, unless they've truly experienced a significant downturn.

Some are.really hopeless , they even come to a friend asking for help but they can't help.themselves, we are just here to give advice, but still what to be done is for him to do what is needed like, stop what he is doing and limit gambling slowly, because if not those unfurtunate things will keep on happening.

I understand what you mean, as I said before that in the end only they themselves can change their bad habits for the better, I once advised one of my friends who was very addicted to gambling but in the end our friendship became bad because he thought that my advice and input were criticism for him, even though it was all for his own good, from here I can conclude that advice and input are not always useful and they even consider it as criticism even though our intention is to help.

[lovesmayfamilis]

I always wonder where people who love gambling so desperately get the financial resources to play. OP claims that his friend's family is on the verge of divorce and that creditors are constantly looking for him, and yet he is still in the game? If there are still people who believe him, lending him a certain amount, then it means either friends who pity and believe him or those who want to force him to become not only a slave to gambling but also their slave.

If I were my wife, I would be very worried if he still means something to her, since some desperate people, in search of money not only for gambling but also for paying off debts, commit very serious crimes. If his friends don't send him to a specialized institution for treatment for gambling addiction, this guy's future is doomed.

[Yablee0]

A voluntary slavery. There is no way to help your friend who gambling has turned into slave unless he himself wants to end being a slave. Your friend might in such situation, when bad things must happen before he realizes that he needs to start acting, doing something to change his life. A situation when a person must learn from mistakes hard way.

Try searching on the forum topics about how to help addicted gambler. It was discussed million times already, but here you wont get anything new.

It is not possible to save someone that is not ready to be saved. Until an addicted gambler realised how gambling has impacted there lives negatively, it won't be possible to save them. At that stage there is no form of advice that will make them to change there minds about gambling. So if they are able to see reasons or realise that gambling is actually destroying them, they will begin to make effort in other to quit gambling.

Actually it's not an easy task trying to save somebody that hasn't even admitted his short comings, but what will I do, the least I can do for a dieing friend is to watch out for him mostly in difficult times like this. Secondly, I know my help or concern can't guarantee him of his safety but let it be recorded that I have done my part as a friend to help the situation but he refused to take my advice so I shouldn't be blamed for anything.

[Rockstarguy]

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

At the age he is, it will be very difficult for you to decide for him. The highest you can do is to advise him, but if he still chooses to stick to gambling, that is his final decision. For adults who are addicted to gambling, it is very easy to fight against addiction only when you realize how badly it is affecting you. At this point, it is not easy to get rid of it spontaneously, but only gradually.

This is to tell you that a grown man who is not ready to quit will only become more addicted to gambling. People who have overcome gambling addiction have only succeeded because they were willing to get help and to change.

[hedgeh0g]

At the age he is, it will be very difficult for you to decide for him. The highest you can do is to advise him, but if he still chooses to stick to gambling, that is his final decision. For adults who are addicted to gambling, it is very easy to fight against addiction only when you realize how badly it is affecting you. At this point, it is not easy to get rid of it spontaneously, but only gradually.

This is to tell you that a grown man who is not ready to quit will only become more addicted to gambling. People who have overcome gambling addiction have only succeeded because they were willing to get help and to change.

Many players are almost powerless to change. They're willing to do anything but change themselves; it's too damaging mentally. I'd say these players would probably benefit from watching video interviews where many players openly share their stories of losing. It's certainly not easy to watch, but I realized that many of them considered themselves special and lucky, even if there was no reason for it. We need to be more humble and not assume that all players lose, while we're almost guaranteed to win. I don't know where these players get their confidence from, but it didn't do them any good.

[suzanne5223]

Firstly, understand that no matter how you try to help, your friend won't just stop gambling, so you'll need to approach the person privately and calmly when s/he's not gambling or stressed.
Don't lend the person money or cover for him/her so they can see their mistakes.
Advise the person in leaving the gathering or company that always triggers the idea of trying the game by maybe staying indoors for days, while you let him/her know the real concept of gambling.
If you have tried different means and the issue persists, I will advise you to seek professional help.

I completely agreed with you, leading your friends to the path that will help him and protect him from endangering themselves the more is very important, as your advice is a solid and acceptable one because there is no help or support if you lend him some money, as you might be making matter to be more worse, that is to say that instead of them to change positively, you are giving them the room or the opportunity to justify they action and this not a helping hand at all.

Glad you understand my point, because some people may believe what I said about OP not lending the friend some money may appear to be cruel to some people due to the number of people who came to the OP home looking for the addicted friend to collect the fund s/he owe them but the reality is that if OP dont be cruel by not helping the friend pay the debt s/he wont realize the problem the addiction has led him/her.
Which is why the OP needs to take drastic steps.

[ruykeri]

A voluntary slavery. There is no way to help your friend who gambling has turned into slave unless he himself wants to end being a slave. Your friend might in such situation, when bad things must happen before he realizes that he needs to start acting, doing something to change his life. A situation when a person must learn from mistakes hard way.

Try searching on the forum topics about how to help addicted gambler. It was discussed million times already, but here you wont get anything new.

I also agree with you. Actually, as OP has described, the addicted person has reached the last stage of gambling addiction. From where it will not be easy to lead a normal life again. But many logical ways have already been discussed in here . I cant find telling  anything new here. But I think if he can be taken to a professional psychiatrist , then his mentality can change. Because during the intensity of such addiction, people's mind does not work properly. They get stressed and do many harmful things, which has a deeper impact on the family.

[giammangiato]

A voluntary slavery. There is no way to help your friend who gambling has turned into slave unless he himself wants to end being a slave. Your friend might in such situation, when bad things must happen before he realizes that he needs to start acting, doing something to change his life. A situation when a person must learn from mistakes hard way.

Try searching on the forum topics about how to help addicted gambler. It was discussed million times already, but here you wont get anything new.

There are quite a few discussions on this sensitive topic in the forum, the problem is not finding solutions, the problem is convincing his friend or family members to stop all this.
In my opinion, it's at a point in the situation that we don't need help to slowly "get him out" of that situation, but we need an immediate setback without mincing words.
After stopping everything (it's already difficult for this to happen), we need to get the boy recovered first psychologically and then financially. From the outside, we see the situation as easy to resolve with words, but I assure you, it's not that simple. Furthermore, if creditors are already knocking on your door to get the money, how do you think they'll repay it?
Psychological stress and pressure will always lead him to think that he has to make money quickly to repay his debts.
Guys, any advice you read on the forum has the usefulness of a pot with holes, every situation is very delicate and strictly personal to deal with.

[knowngunman]

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

He already destroyed his family. Children were sent home from school due to non payment of school fees, wife is complaining bitterly and people he owes are coming to ask after him for their money. If this is not yet destruction, I don't know how else it'll look like if it happens. The possible way you might help him at the moment as friend is to engage him with something profitable that might make him change his mindset that he can survive through gambling.

At this critical stage of his addiction, you're likely not to succeed if you want to apply pressure in convincing him to change his attitude towards gambling. You have to follow and engage him gradually taking his mind away from gambling suddenly would be difficult.

[Gost ms]

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

Can't help with that person but to see him personally destroy his own family with his bare hands. He might wake up on his dreams but seeing that his family is starting to get hunger and asking him what they should eat or if he loves them. Those are going to be music but loud to his ears. If it's still not going to work, forcing him into a facility of rehabilitation is the end game but he has to cover all of those expenses or if someone from his family loves him to get recover or simply wants him to stay as is and that's the kind of love that's hard to accept.

I agree that the friend should be admitted into a rehab because his addiction has gone beyond what a friend can advice and talk him out of, since he has the mind to ignore his own family's wellbeing that means that he has lost his sense of reasoning. There are different stages of addiction and he's is at the top, if a person can bear to watch his family suffer and continue on his destructive part then he truly needs professional help. Problem is that professional help costs money and if somebody is not there to pay the bill that would be another problem except if their government have a free facility for addicts.

I agree that this is already a gambling experience far outside of the normal because if family responsibilities are neglected, then it is serious. But I wouldn't say that the person has lost his sense of reason, because with addiction, his decision making is altered and he will make choices that he wouldn't make otherwise. Rehab can help, but force can't ensure results if unwilling to change. Again, a combination of family, close friends and professional advice often has a better chance of recovery than a single option.

The rehabilitation center system should be used as a last resort. In the first instance, family and friends should be tried and when he still does not understand and keeps his activities going, then he can be sent to a rehabilitation center. One of the most effective ways to bring a person back from this situation is through his family. If everyone in his family takes the necessary steps to overcome his addiction, it will be 100% better than a rehabilitation center, it will be effective.

[Donk1]

Am just curious of what I can possibly do to help a friend that has turns into a slave in gamble. He no longer care for his family perhaps his kid's have been sent away from school and he didn't give a fuck about it, his wife complains all day concerning his attitude towas them, he barely stay or spend time with his family, a lot has gone wrong so to speak. And the craziest of it is that most times people come looking for him at home because of the money he normally borrowed from them which I believe was used to fund his addicted Gambling life style.

The truth is that my friend is at the edge of destroying his family by himself if something isn't done on time. To be honest I have tried all I could but it seems falling on deaf ears.

​I feel he is taking his beliefs too seriously, because gambling offers profit and lose, and yeah big stakes mean bigger profits and big lose. Well perhaps his mind is just exaggerating on the fact that gambling can get him rich one day, making him neglect the things that actually matters to him  because he thinks he is being consistent, which is wrong....

​So yeah I really do not think there is an easy way to solve this except consulting the family members of the man, because if not he will definitely starve his family. Basically I understand the fact that in most countries there is no work employment, and not everyone has the required skills to engage in one or two businesses so yeah that part I understand. But then gambling isn't a source of income in fact, it's not a job and shouldn't be considered one. So yeah I think consulting his parents on the issue is the right step to take.....

[xenomorfo]

At the age he is, it will be very difficult for you to decide for him. The highest you can do is to advise him, but if he still chooses to stick to gambling, that is his final decision. For adults who are addicted to gambling, it is very easy to fight against addiction only when you realize how badly it is affecting you. At this point, it is not easy to get rid of it spontaneously, but only gradually.

This is to tell you that a grown man who is not ready to quit will only become more addicted to gambling. People who have overcome gambling addiction have only succeeded because they were willing to get help and to change.

Many players are almost powerless to change. They're willing to do anything but change themselves; it's too damaging mentally. I'd say these players would probably benefit from watching video interviews where many players openly share their stories of losing. It's certainly not easy to watch, but i realized that many of them considered themselves special and lucky, even if there was no reason for it. We need to be more humble and not assume that all players lose, while we're almost guaranteed to win. i don't know where these players get their confidence from, but it didn't do them any good.

Obviously advise but the advice must be convincing.
Let me explain better, perhaps it's not very clear what i said.
If you advise not to play, your advice is unlikely to have an effect, in fact it will have the opposite effect.
You have to go around it and explain that it's better not to exaggerate and set a budget. This way you avoid wasting money.

[Byebyebtc]

A voluntary slavery. There is no way to help your friend who gambling has turned into slave unless he himself wants to end being a slave. Your friend might in such situation, when bad things must happen before he realizes that he needs to start acting, doing something to change his life. A situation when a person must learn from mistakes hard way.

Try searching on the forum topics about how to help addicted gambler. It was discussed million times already, but here you wont get anything new.

What else can one do apart from advising and probably spending time with the victim, when the helper is absent he will still gamble,
So going around the forum might help with information but what are the guarantee that these informations will be effective on the victim in this Sevier case, I personally will not act anymore after few trials, those information would have been useful when it wasn't this bad, but it was ignored. This is a self deliverance case at this point