Here it is:
Lawyer: Hello mr. Anice, how can i help you?
Me: Good afternoon, mr. lawyer. I am here because i made a online purchase and the item wasn't shipped to me.
Lawyer: Very well, what was it and how much was the cost of the purchase?
Me: I bought some computer hardware for the amount of... the equivalent to 650 euros.
Lawyer: Ok, have you pressed charges at the police.
Me: No, i have not yet.
Lawyer: Please do, it is easier to me to process an official complain. I will need a proof of purchase.
Me: (pause) Well, that's more complicated, i paid with Bitcoin, wich is a online currency.
Lawyer: (pauses and smiles) You too? Some clients had the same problems. How many Bitcoins?
Me: 200 Bitcoins.
Lawyer: Can you identify, or provide the name, address other information on the other party?
Me: Yes, that information had been provided to me by other people who were fooled by the same person.
Lawyer: Ok, I will need the transaction ID of you purchase, and an official complain at the police. It should move effortless from that point.
Me: (playing dumb) I'm sorry, transaction ID?
Lawyer: That is a code that proves you made the transfer. That and the official claim will solve your problem.
After some additional chat, he said that although Bitcoins aren't worth anything, the fact is 2 parties decided to make a trade.
I could have bought his hardware with bananas. If both parties accept that, i just have so send him the bananas and he has to send me the hardware.
Funny, i think this is going to work! Monday i'll press charges at the police and talk to my lawyer again