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Author Topic: FBI: buying coffee with cash = terrorist  (Read 4503 times)
Dan The Man
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February 24, 2012, 10:16:33 PM
 #1

Dunno if this has been posted yet

http://www.itworld.com/security/249076/how-avoid-being-tagged-terrorist-dont-pay-cash-coffee
Quote
According to a set of guidelines sent out by the FBI as part of its Communities Against Terror program, ordinary citizens need to be on the lookout for suspicious characters who follow patterns of behavior particularly indicative of a covert operative with mayhem on his or her mind.

ie:

Using cash for small purchases like a cup of coffee, gum and other items is a good indication that a person is trying to pass for normal without leaving the kind of paper trail created using a debit or credit card for small purchases.

The most recent update asks coffee shop owners, baristas and other customer-service specialists to be on the lookout for the enemy who walks among us

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proudhon
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February 24, 2012, 10:19:35 PM
 #2

Dunno if this has been posted yet

http://www.itworld.com/security/249076/how-avoid-being-tagged-terrorist-dont-pay-cash-coffee
Quote
According to a set of guidelines sent out by the FBI as part of its Communities Against Terror program, ordinary citizens need to be on the lookout for suspicious characters who follow patterns of behavior particularly indicative of a covert operative with mayhem on his or her mind.

ie:

Using cash for small purchases like a cup of coffee, gum and other items is a good indication that a person is trying to pass for normal without leaving the kind of paper trail created using a debit or credit card for small purchases.

The most recent update asks coffee shop owners, baristas and other customer-service specialists to be on the lookout for the enemy who walks among us

Oh shit guys.  I might be in trouble.
MysteryMiner
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February 24, 2012, 10:32:47 PM
 #3

I'm a terrorist but I buy coffee with stolen credit card. So I'm off the radar Smiley Thank You fucktarded FBI for creating Orwellian society!

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bitcoinsarefun
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February 24, 2012, 10:35:38 PM
 #4

what the hell ... i rarely ever use my debit card and NEVER use my credit card to purchase a cup of coffee because I have an ashtray full of change in my car ...
Koekiemonster
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February 24, 2012, 10:38:40 PM
 #5

This makes me think of a part in the book "Superfreakonomics": why suicide bombers should buy life insurance?

For a brief explanation check: http://www.ianvisits.co.uk/blog/2009/11/09/why-suicide-bombers-should-buy-life-insurance/

https://www.bitbuy.nl - Koop eenvoudig, snel en goedkoop bitcoins bij Bitbuy!
Bitcointalk topic over Bitbuy!
RaggedMonk
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February 24, 2012, 10:39:49 PM
 #6

BREAKING NEWS: Study finds h2o in the brain of more than 90% of terrorists.  Is water making us hate freedom?
Kluge
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February 24, 2012, 10:40:20 PM
 #7

Nobody here should be affected. Support your own!  Smiley

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ETA: Not my site

Don't mix your coins someone said isn't legal
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February 24, 2012, 10:43:30 PM
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Nobody here should be affected. Support your own!  Smiley

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that guatemala-joe looks good.
deepceleron
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February 25, 2012, 02:36:28 AM
 #9

This message from the department of propaganda and thought compliance brought to you by VISA/Mastercard. The FBI - we're everywhere you want to be. An Orwellian society with a mandatory bankster tax - priceless.

edd
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February 25, 2012, 02:44:03 AM
 #10

Nobody here should be affected. Support your own!  Smiley

www.bitbrew.net

that guatemala-joe looks good.

Aha! I found the reason for today's spike in page views.  Wink

"BitBrew - The Non-Terrorist's Choice"

Still around.
sveetsnelda
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February 25, 2012, 02:49:58 AM
 #11

My grandparents are officially terrorists now.

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Phinnaeus Gage
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February 25, 2012, 02:57:35 AM
 #12

I'm going to make this really simple for the FBI. Today, I purchased a cup of coffee and paid cash for it. I would like to turn myself in as a terrorist. You should have no problems finding out where I live. Just ask the Major of Sandwich, Illinois, and he'll tell you if you have any problems. You have 24 hours to arrest me, otherwise you're all just a bunch of pussies.

~Bruno~

PS: I'm not kidding!

PSS: After the 24 hours has passed, and I'm still out on the loose, I will terrorize once again by purchasing another cup of coffee, paying for it with cash. This is your only opportunity to catch me before I...I... hmmm! Start buying other cheap items and paying for them with cash.

Here is a picture of me.



Notice the numbers in the lower right hand corner. It represents a digital currency. Another good reason to arrest me.
deepceleron
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February 25, 2012, 03:25:53 AM
 #13

I'm going to make this really simple for the FBI. Today, I purchased a cup of coffee and paid cash for it. I would like to turn myself in as a terrorist...
PS: I'm not kidding!
Noted for posterity, so we can examine when he was rendered...


Phinnaeus Gage
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February 25, 2012, 04:18:13 AM
 #14

I'm going to make this really simple for the FBI. Today, I purchased a cup of coffee and paid cash for it. I would like to turn myself in as a terrorist...
PS: I'm not kidding!
Noted for posterity, so we can examine when he was rendered...



Hell, let's make it even easier for the FBI. Here a pic of one of my trucks showing the Illinois license plate number which is registered in my name and links to my current address.



"Bruno, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to live in society after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there.  Mother rapers.  Father stabbers.  Father
rapers!  Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me!  And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Bruno, whad'ya get?"  I said, "I didn't get nothing, I posted on BitcoinTalks, when..."
He said, "What were you arrested for, Bruno?"
And I said, "Paying cash for a cup of coffee."  And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And dealing in Bitcoin."  And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench.  And everything was fine...
Phinnaeus Gage
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February 25, 2012, 06:04:43 AM
 #15

Jesus Bruno, do you ever back up WITHOUT hitting something? Look at that bumper! LOL

You're not going to believe this, but nobody was in the truck when that happened. A drunk hit it three in the morning. A hit-and-run, but the cops got him anyway. Three weeks shy of his 21st birthday, to boot. He got three tickets that night. Luckily he had full insurance, as did I. Totaled the truck of which I received 7K and paid off the truck, changed the tire, and been driving it ever since. The FBI agent assigned to case please take note of this relative information. The police report is on file at the Sandwich Police Dept.

BRB. Just heard the doorbell ring and see a van in my driv...


LD-ZOGY8
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February 25, 2012, 06:29:59 AM
 #16

Lol

<-- see avatar
Phinnaeus Gage
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February 25, 2012, 07:41:40 AM
 #17

Jesus Bruno, do you ever back up WITHOUT hitting something? Look at that bumper! LOL

You're not going to believe this, but nobody was in the truck when that happened. A drunk hit it three in the morning. A hit-and-run, but the cops got him anyway. Three weeks shy of his 21st birthday, to boot. He got three tickets that night. Luckily he had full insurance, as did I. Totaled the truck of which I received 7K and paid off the truck, changed the tire, and been driving it ever since. The FBI agent assigned to case please take note of this relative information. The police report is on file at the Sandwich Police Dept.

BRB. Just heard the doorbell ring and see a van in my driv...




I don’t believe you. There is no Sandwich Police Department or is that the one on Peanut Butter & Jelly drive?

I also don’t believe this thread. Could our govt really be that stupid!


http://police.sandwich.il.us/

They're only stupid if I'm not arrested in less than 18 hours.

I live here and can toss a walnut to that intersection: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=castle+st+%26+center+st+sandwich+il&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x880ec6244bf9349b:0xe01dd7f2de272ee7,Castle+St+%26+W+Center+St,+Sandwich,+IL+60548&gl=us&ei=ZY9IT76iBMW5twekysjvAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CCIQ8gEwAA

Come and get me you pussy FBI agents. I admit to paying for a cup of coffee using cash. It's even on video. I even have three witnesses.

I even Google you guys: https://www.google.com/search?q=pussy+fbi&hl=en&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=PpBIT8ilFs2ltwf6tu3uAg&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CA4Q_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=685#hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=pussy+fbi+agents&pbx=1&oq=pussy+fbi+agents&aq=f&aqi=&aql=1&gs_sm=3&gs_upl=42112l45462l0l45898l7l7l0l4l0l0l609l609l5-1l1l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=8a69c80d4df55181&biw=1280&bih=685

~Bruno~

Phinnaeus Gage
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February 25, 2012, 05:18:12 PM
 #18

Looks like I have only 9 hours left of freedom, unless FBI agents are pussies. Before I get my affairs in order, I'm heading out to buy a cup of coffee and pay cash for it. Wish me luck, or un-luck, if that's the case.

~Bruno~
Phinnaeus Gage
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February 25, 2012, 05:49:15 PM
 #19

BadBear moved this thread, now the FBI will never find me.  Grin

~Bruno~
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February 25, 2012, 06:26:00 PM
 #20

It's good that they're doing all this. It makes it clear to, almost everyone, who the real terrorists are. You see? If you don't then you don't matter.

On a related topic does this mean that they don't care if you steal a cup of coffee?

Also someone once said "if you're part of the risk you're part of the solution".

Oh and what do they think if you try to use BTC to buy coffee? Yoo go on the assasination list I presume.

But wait, what if you don't drink coffee?  What if you drink Chai?  They need to update their policies.

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