FBI: buying coffee with cash = terrorist

[Dan The Man]

Dunno if this has been posted yet

http://www.itworld.com/security/249076/how-avoid-being-tagged-terrorist-dont-pay-cash-coffee

According to a set of guidelines sent out by the FBI as part of its Communities Against Terror program, ordinary citizens need to be on the lookout for suspicious characters who follow patterns of behavior particularly indicative of a covert operative with mayhem on his or her mind.

ie:

Using cash for small purchases like a cup of coffee, gum and other items is a good indication that a person is trying to pass for normal without leaving the kind of paper trail created using a debit or credit card for small purchases.

The most recent update asks coffee shop owners, baristas and other customer-service specialists to be on the lookout for the enemy who walks among us

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[proudhon]

Dunno if this has been posted yet

http://www.itworld.com/security/249076/how-avoid-being-tagged-terrorist-dont-pay-cash-coffee

According to a set of guidelines sent out by the FBI as part of its Communities Against Terror program, ordinary citizens need to be on the lookout for suspicious characters who follow patterns of behavior particularly indicative of a covert operative with mayhem on his or her mind.

ie:

Using cash for small purchases like a cup of coffee, gum and other items is a good indication that a person is trying to pass for normal without leaving the kind of paper trail created using a debit or credit card for small purchases.

The most recent update asks coffee shop owners, baristas and other customer-service specialists to be on the lookout for the enemy who walks among us

Oh shit guys.  I might be in trouble.

[MysteryMiner]

I'm a terrorist but I buy coffee with stolen credit card. So I'm off the radar Thank You fucktarded FBI for creating Orwellian society!

[bitcoinsarefun]

what the hell ... i rarely ever use my debit card and NEVER use my credit card to purchase a cup of coffee because I have an ashtray full of change in my car ...

[Koekiemonster]

This makes me think of a part in the book "Superfreakonomics": why suicide bombers should buy life insurance?

For a brief explanation check: http://www.ianvisits.co.uk/blog/2009/11/09/why-suicide-bombers-should-buy-life-insurance/

[RaggedMonk]

BREAKING NEWS: Study finds h2o in the brain of more than 90% of terrorists.  Is water making us hate freedom?

[Kluge]

Nobody here should be affected. Support your own!  

www.bitbrew.net

ETA: Not my site

[bitcoinsarefun]

Nobody here should be affected. Support your own!  

www.bitbrew.net

that guatemala-joe looks good.

[deepceleron]

This message from the department of propaganda and thought compliance brought to you by VISA/Mastercard. The FBI - we're everywhere you want to be. An Orwellian society with a mandatory bankster tax - priceless.

[edd]

Nobody here should be affected. Support your own!  

www.bitbrew.net

that guatemala-joe looks good.

Aha! I found the reason for today's spike in page views. 

"BitBrew - The Non-Terrorist's Choice"

[sveetsnelda]

My grandparents are officially terrorists now.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I'm going to make this really simple for the FBI. Today, I purchased a cup of coffee and paid cash for it. I would like to turn myself in as a terrorist. You should have no problems finding out where I live. Just ask the Major of Sandwich, Illinois, and he'll tell you if you have any problems. You have 24 hours to arrest me, otherwise you're all just a bunch of pussies.

~Bruno~

PS: I'm not kidding!

PSS: After the 24 hours has passed, and I'm still out on the loose, I will terrorize once again by purchasing another cup of coffee, paying for it with cash. This is your only opportunity to catch me before I...I... hmmm! Start buying other cheap items and paying for them with cash.

Here is a picture of me.



Notice the numbers in the lower right hand corner. It represents a digital currency. Another good reason to arrest me.

[deepceleron]

I'm going to make this really simple for the FBI. Today, I purchased a cup of coffee and paid cash for it. I would like to turn myself in as a terrorist...
PS: I'm not kidding!

Noted for posterity, so we can examine when he was rendered...

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I'm going to make this really simple for the FBI. Today, I purchased a cup of coffee and paid cash for it. I would like to turn myself in as a terrorist...
PS: I'm not kidding!

Noted for posterity, so we can examine when he was rendered...

Hell, let's make it even easier for the FBI. Here a pic of one of my trucks showing the Illinois license plate number which is registered in my name and links to my current address.



"Bruno, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to live in society after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there.  Mother rapers.  Father stabbers.  Father
rapers!  Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me!  And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Bruno, whad'ya get?"  I said, "I didn't get nothing, I posted on BitcoinTalks, when..."
He said, "What were you arrested for, Bruno?"
And I said, "Paying cash for a cup of coffee."  And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And dealing in Bitcoin."  And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench.  And everything was fine...

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Jesus Bruno, do you ever back up WITHOUT hitting something? Look at that bumper! LOL

You're not going to believe this, but nobody was in the truck when that happened. A drunk hit it three in the morning. A hit-and-run, but the cops got him anyway. Three weeks shy of his 21st birthday, to boot. He got three tickets that night. Luckily he had full insurance, as did I. Totaled the truck of which I received 7K and paid off the truck, changed the tire, and been driving it ever since. The FBI agent assigned to case please take note of this relative information. The police report is on file at the Sandwich Police Dept.

BRB. Just heard the doorbell ring and see a van in my driv...

[LD-ZOGY8]

Lol

<-- see avatar

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Jesus Bruno, do you ever back up WITHOUT hitting something? Look at that bumper! LOL

You're not going to believe this, but nobody was in the truck when that happened. A drunk hit it three in the morning. A hit-and-run, but the cops got him anyway. Three weeks shy of his 21st birthday, to boot. He got three tickets that night. Luckily he had full insurance, as did I. Totaled the truck of which I received 7K and paid off the truck, changed the tire, and been driving it ever since. The FBI agent assigned to case please take note of this relative information. The police report is on file at the Sandwich Police Dept.

BRB. Just heard the doorbell ring and see a van in my driv...

I don’t believe you. There is no Sandwich Police Department or is that the one on Peanut Butter & Jelly drive?

I also don’t believe this thread. Could our govt really be that stupid!

http://police.sandwich.il.us/

They're only stupid if I'm not arrested in less than 18 hours.

I live here and can toss a walnut to that intersection: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=castle+st+%26+center+st+sandwich+il&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x880ec6244bf9349b:0xe01dd7f2de272ee7,Castle+St+%26+W+Center+St,+Sandwich,+IL+60548&gl=us&ei=ZY9IT76iBMW5twekysjvAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CCIQ8gEwAA

Come and get me you pussy FBI agents. I admit to paying for a cup of coffee using cash. It's even on video. I even have three witnesses.

I even Google you guys: https://www.google.com/search?q=pussy+fbi&hl=en&prmd=imvns&source=lnms&tbm=isch&ei=PpBIT8ilFs2ltwf6tu3uAg&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CA4Q_AUoAQ&biw=1280&bih=685#hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=pussy+fbi+agents&pbx=1&oq=pussy+fbi+agents&aq=f&aqi=&aql=1&gs_sm=3&gs_upl=42112l45462l0l45898l7l7l0l4l0l0l609l609l5-1l1l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=8a69c80d4df55181&biw=1280&bih=685

~Bruno~

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Looks like I have only 9 hours left of freedom, unless FBI agents are pussies. Before I get my affairs in order, I'm heading out to buy a cup of coffee and pay cash for it. Wish me luck, or un-luck, if that's the case.

~Bruno~

[Phinnaeus Gage]

BadBear moved this thread, now the FBI will never find me. 

~Bruno~

[Wandering Albatross]

It's good that they're doing all this. It makes it clear to, almost everyone, who the real terrorists are. You see? If you don't then you don't matter.

On a related topic does this mean that they don't care if you steal a cup of coffee?

Also someone once said "if you're part of the risk you're part of the solution".

Oh and what do they think if you try to use BTC to buy coffee? Yoo go on the assasination list I presume.

But wait, what if you don't drink coffee?  What if you drink Chai?  They need to update their policies.

[FirstAscent]

I must not be in on the 'know' or something, as I don't get how this is interesting.

- Either it's a joke, and boring.
- Or it's real, and who cares, because it doesn't affect anybody, because it has no bite.
- Or it's real, and who cares, because I'm sure your average coffee server never got the memo.

Summary: bunch of anti-government people on a libertarian forum either have their inside jokes, or they go around and get all up in arms over non events.

[farfiman]

It is one of the funnest threads in a long time.....

[ZodiacDragon84]

It is one of the funnest threads in a long time.....

Brought to you by Bruno, of Castle IL!

[Kettenmonster]

So what, just continue to pay your coffee cash. Once they have a few hundred million terrorist they have to take actions ... or so. 

[legitnick]

What if I buy my cash with coffee?

[Phinnaeus Gage]

It is one of the funnest threads in a long time.....

Brought to you by Bruno, of Castle IL!

It's Bruno of Sandwich, Illinois, located VERY near the corner of Castle and Center streets. I could gentling toss a sugar cube out my window and hit the middle of the T-intersection.

Only 5 more hours to prove that the FBI has nothing but pussies on their force. Pussies for not enforcing a law of which they imposed. My crime: paying for coffee with cash--I'm a Terrorist!

~Bruno~

[ZodiacDragon84]

My mistake. Bruno of Sandwich, IL.

[istar]

Ok and if someone allways buys coffe with a card, their FBI. Its great than VISA and Mastercard know straight away who the FBI are, those erhm...smart ones who everyday purchase coffe with a card or wait, they buy every other time cash and every other time with card to appear normal...


 

[ZodiacDragon84]

You still there PG? Feds didnt get you yet,did they?

[istar]

Howto identify a dangerous paranoid person.

If you hear someone who thinks they see a terrorist because they allways buy coffe with cash.
Report this person to the NSA.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Howto identify a dangerous paranoid person.

If you hear someone who thinks they see a terrorist because they allways buy coffe with cash.
Report this person to the NSA.

Wait, what? This can't be right! Is it?

You still there PG? Feds didnt get you yet,did they?

Well, it's been over 24 hours and I'm sad to report that THE FBI CONSIST OF NOTHING BUT PUSSIES!!!

Now, let's look at how stupid this is. If you were to go into most convenience stores and try to pay for a cup of coffee with a credit card, guess what. Most of the time you won't be able to do it.

How many of you have seen a sign like this before?



Now, if the FBI can't even get this tiny aspect right, what the fuck else are they getting wrong?

~Bruno~

[Kettenmonster]

I guess you made up that picture using gimp or so. Remember you are a terrorist, thus can´t be trusted!

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I guess you made up that picture using gimp or so. Remember you are a terrorist, thus can´t be trusted!

I can see it now. Me, as the Da Bitcoin Guy, trying to get pass TSA in my get-up after purchasing a cup of coffee at the terminal. They'll be looking at these shoes after they when through the metal detector.



On a side note, I'm glad the government is finally declaring war on the internet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0OZlGu-kMo

[bb113]

If every transaction is done using the debit/credit cards the banks will be able to effectively tax every purchase. This is not due to deregulation, in fact it is illegal in most (if not all) states to charge customers differently based on the method of payment.

[Kettenmonster]

I guess you made up that picture using gimp or so. Remember you are a terrorist, thus can´t be trusted!

Wanna learn how to tie your shoe?

It's a very easy thing to do
Just sit on down and I'll give you the scoop
What's that? It's called the loop-dee-loop
You gotta take a lace in each hand
You go over and under again
You make a loop-dee-loop and pull
And your shoes are lookin' cool
You go over and back, left to right
Loop-dee-loop and you pull 'em tight
Like bunny ears or a Christmas bow
Lace 'em up and you're ready to go

[bb113]

I accidentally went to defcon one year (long story), and gathered myself a "computer brain". I wanted to fly home with it so before getting in line I asked TSA agents what I should do with this bucket of components in red colored water (simulating formaldehyde). They said dump out the liquid so I had to go into the bathroom and take a stall... then dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump. Then I got in line. When my time came I got the special treatment because the manager wanted to see my computer brain.

[film2240]

Just glad I live in the UK (for now) .As paying is cash for a cup of coffee is still normal even though a fair number of people use loyalty cards and debit cards now to pay for a cup of coffee.
I once saw a person in UK buying an iPhone 4S in cash (yeah,you heard that right) and there was no apparrent issue with the store/customer over this.Not even a suspicion (the customer in question was not from the UK).This was the Apple store as well.Apparently if you have the means to buy something,it's not suspicous (I guess) over here.

[FirstAscent]

Just glad I live in the UK (for now). As paying is cash for a cup of coffee is still normal even though a fair number of people use loyalty cards and debit cards now to pay for a cup of coffee.
I once saw a person in UK buying an iPhone 4S in cash (yeah,you heard that right) and there was no apparrent issue with the store/customer over this.Not even a suspicion (the customer in question was not from the UK).This was the Apple store as well.Apparently if you have the means to buy something,it's not suspicous (I guess) over here.

This is funny. What I mean is, it's funny how your belief of what it's like to pay for stuff in the U.S. is skewed by forum threads like this. For your information, the reality is, paying for stuff in the U.S. is exactly as you have just described it in the UK.

[film2240]

Just glad I live in the UK (for now). As paying is cash for a cup of coffee is still normal even though a fair number of people use loyalty cards and debit cards now to pay for a cup of coffee.
I once saw a person in UK buying an iPhone 4S in cash (yeah,you heard that right) and there was no apparrent issue with the store/customer over this.Not even a suspicion (the customer in question was not from the UK).This was the Apple store as well.Apparently if you have the means to buy something,it's not suspicous (I guess) over here.

This is funny. What I mean is, it's funny how your belief of what it's like to pay for stuff in the U.S. is skewed by forum threads like this. For your information, the reality is, paying for stuff in the U.S. is exactly as you have just described it in the UK.

I accept that my view is skewed by threads like this.Thing is though that this info has also been talked about on other parts of the net as well so I got that impresson from those sites as well.I rely on the internet and other sources to find out what things are like outside the UK as I tend not to trust mainstream news (on tech anyway as they fear monger about privacy enabling hackers,blah,blah.) If the US is like UK for paying for things (as described above) then it's all good. I do wonder how many shop keepers actually take this advice seriously as most people will continue to use their common sense on what's odd and what's normal. Maybe this advice is just there to keep people on their toes rather than help anyhting,who knows?

[FirstAscent]

I do wonder how many shop keepers actually take this advice seriously as most people will continue to use their common sense on what's odd and what's normal. Maybe this advice is just there to keep people on their toes rather than help anyhting,who knows?

I think everyone missed that memo. Short answer as to who takes it seriously: nobody, because nobody knows about it - not management, not the cashiers, and not the paying public. And if they did know about it, nobody would care.