I've tweaked the formula, and it should work better now.
I just realized that this process is not going to work on the old offline computer I was going to use for cold storage, which is also an old macbook pro... I think I will just format it and install Ubuntu then.
EDIT: I found the file, but OSX's finder took forever to find it. Here are the contents:
# These first three lines are not copied to the gpg.conf file in
# the users home directory.
# $Id$
# Options for GnuPG
# Copyright 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003,
# 2010 Free Software Foundation, Inc.
#
# This file is free software; as a special exception the author gives
# unlimited permission to copy and/or distribute it, with or without
# modifications, as long as this notice is preserved.
#
# This file is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, but
# WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by law; without even the
# implied warranty of MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
#
# Unless you specify which option file to use (with the command line
# option "--options filename"), GnuPG uses the file ~/.gnupg/gpg.conf
# by default.
#
# An options file can contain any long options which are available in
# GnuPG. If the first non white space character of a line is a '#',
# this line is ignored. Empty lines are also ignored.
#
# See the man page for a list of options.
# Uncomment the following option to get rid of the copyright notice
#no-greeting
# If you have more than 1 secret key in your keyring, you may want to
# uncomment the following option and set your preferred keyid.
#default-key <TAKEN OUT>
# If you do not pass a recipient to gpg, it will ask for one. Using
# this option you can encrypt to a default key. Key validation will
# not be done in this case. The second form uses the default key as
# default recipient.
#default-recipient some-user-id
#default-recipient-self
# By default GnuPG creates version 4 signatures for data files as
# specified by OpenPGP. Some earlier (PGP 6, PGP 7) versions of PGP
# require the older version 3 signatures. Setting this option forces
# GnuPG to create version 3 signatures.
#force-v3-sigs
# Because some mailers change lines starting with "From " to ">From "
# it is good to handle such lines in a special way when creating
# cleartext signatures; all other PGP versions do it this way too.
# To enable full OpenPGP compliance you may want to use this option.
#no-escape-from-lines
# When verifying a signature made from a subkey, ensure that the cross
# certification "back signature" on the subkey is present and valid.
# This protects against a subtle attack against subkeys that can sign.
# Defaults to --no-require-cross-certification. However for new
# installations it should be enabled.
require-cross-certification
# If you do not use the Latin-1 (ISO-8859-1) charset, you should tell
# GnuPG which is the native character set. Please check the man page
# for supported character sets. This character set is only used for
# metadata and not for the actual message which does not undergo any
# translation. Note that future version of GnuPG will change to UTF-8
# as default character set.
#charset utf-8
# Group names may be defined like this:
# group mynames = paige 0x12345678 joe patti
#
# Any time "mynames" is a recipient (-r or --recipient), it will be
# expanded to the names "paige", "joe", and "patti", and the key ID
# "0x12345678". Note there is only one level of expansion - you
# cannot make an group that points to another group. Note also that
# if there are spaces in the recipient name, this will appear as two
# recipients. In these cases it is better to use the key ID.
#group mynames = paige 0x12345678 joe patti
# Some old Windows platforms require 8.3 filenames. If your system
# can handle long filenames, uncomment this.
#no-mangle-dos-filenames
# Lock the file only once for the lifetime of a process. If you do
# not define this, the lock will be obtained and released every time
# it is needed - normally this is not needed.
#lock-once
# GnuPG can send and receive keys to and from a keyserver. These
# servers can be HKP, email, or LDAP (if GnuPG is built with LDAP
# support).
#
# Example HKP keyservers:
# hkp://keys.gnupg.net
# hkp://subkeys.pgp.net
#
# Example email keyserver:
# mailto:pgp-public-keys@keys.pgp.net
#
# Example LDAP keyservers:
# ldap://pgp.surfnet.nl:11370
# ldap://keyserver.pgp.com
#
# Regular URL syntax applies, and you can set an alternate port
# through the usual method:
# hkp://keyserver.example.net:22742
#
# If you have problems connecting to a HKP server through a buggy http
# proxy, you can use keyserver option broken-http-proxy (see below),
# but first you should make sure that you have read the man page
# regarding proxies (keyserver option honor-http-proxy)
#
# Most users just set the name and type of their preferred keyserver.
# Note that most servers (with the notable exception of
# ldap://keyserver.pgp.com) synchronize changes with each other. Note
# also that a single server name may actually point to multiple
# servers via DNS round-robin. hkp://keys.gnupg.net is an example of
# such a "server", which spreads the load over a number of physical
# servers. To see the IP address of the server actually used, you may use
# the "--keyserver-options debug".
keyserver hkp://keys.gnupg.net
#keyserver
http://http-keys.gnupg.net#keyserver mailto:pgp-public-keys@keys.nl.pgp.net
#keyserver ldap://pgp.surfnet.nl:11370
#keyserver ldap://keyserver.pgp.com
# Common options for keyserver functions:
#
# include-disabled = when searching, include keys marked as "disabled"
# on the keyserver (not all keyservers support this).
#
# no-include-revoked = when searching, do not include keys marked as
# "revoked" on the keyserver.
#
# verbose = show more information as the keys are fetched.
# Can be used more than once to increase the amount
# of information shown.
#
# use-temp-files = use temporary files instead of a pipe to talk to the
# keyserver. Some platforms (Win32 for one) always
# have this on.
#
# keep-temp-files = do not delete temporary files after using them
# (really only useful for debugging)
#
# honor-http-proxy = if the keyserver uses HTTP, honor the http_proxy
# environment variable
#
# broken-http-proxy = try to work around a buggy HTTP proxy
#
# auto-key-retrieve = automatically fetch keys as needed from the keyserver
# when verifying signatures or when importing keys that
# have been revoked by a revocation key that is not
# present on the keyring.
#
# no-include-attributes = do not include attribute IDs (aka "photo IDs")
# when sending keys to the keyserver.
keyserver-options auto-key-retrieve
# Uncomment this line to display photo user IDs in key listings and
# when a signature from a key with a photo is verified.
#show-photos
# Use this program to display photo user IDs
#
# %i is expanded to a temporary file that contains the photo.
# %I is the same as %i, but the file isn't deleted afterwards by GnuPG.
# %k is expanded to the key ID of the key.
# %K is expanded to the long OpenPGP key ID of the key.
# %t is expanded to the extension of the image (e.g. "jpg").
# %T is expanded to the MIME type of the image (e.g. "image/jpeg").
# %f is expanded to the fingerprint of the key.
# %% is %, of course.
#
# If %i or %I are not present, then the photo is supplied to the
# viewer on standard input. If your platform supports it, standard
# input is the best way to do this as it avoids the time and effort in
# generating and then cleaning up a secure temp file.
#
# The default program is "xloadimage -fork -quiet -title 'KeyID 0x%k' stdin"
# On Mac OS X and Windows, the default is to use your regular JPEG image
# viewer.
#
# Some other viewers:
# photo-viewer "qiv %i"
# photo-viewer "ee %i"
# photo-viewer "display -title 'KeyID 0x%k'"
#
# This one saves a copy of the photo ID in your home directory:
# photo-viewer "cat > ~/photoid-for-key-%k.%t"
#
# Use your MIME handler to view photos:
# photo-viewer "metamail -q -d -b -c %T -s 'KeyID 0x%k' -f GnuPG"
# *** Options for GPGTools ***
# Automatic key location
#
# GnuPG can automatically locate and retrieve keys as needed using the
# auto-key-locate option. This happens when encrypting to an email
# address (in the "
user@example.com" form), and there are no
#
user@example.com keys on the local keyring. This option takes the
# following arguments, in the order they are to be tried:
#
# cert = locate a key using DNS CERT, as specified in RFC-4398.
# GnuPG can handle both the PGP (key) and IPGP (URL + fingerprint)
# CERT methods.
#
# pka = locate a key using DNS PKA.
#
# ldap = locate a key using the PGP Universal method of checking
# "ldap://keys.(thedomain)". For example, encrypting to
#
user@example.com will check ldap://keys.example.com.
#
# keyserver = locate a key using whatever keyserver is defined using
# the keyserver option.
#
# You may also list arbitrary keyservers here by URL.
#
# Try CERT, then PKA, then LDAP, then hkp://keys.gnupg.net:
auto-key-locate cert pka ldap hkp://keys.gnupg.net
comment GPGTools -
http://gpgtools.org
