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Author Topic: The Nullian Bitcult  (Read 518 times)
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nullius (OP)
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If you don’t do PGP, you don’t do crypto!


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December 29, 2017, 11:58:26 PM
Last edit: August 02, 2022, 11:36:41 PM by nullius
Merited by LFC_Bitcoin (1)
 #1

The Nullian Bitcult.  (Send tithes and sacrificial offerings.)


NULL. Inception

I was pleased, when I saw this:

Nullius' sole objective is to facilitate the mass adoption of bitcoin.
And anyone that somehow put an obstacle to his service (by saying negative things about bitcoin) is being targeted as a threat.

Pleased, yes; yet I was also confused, for this high praise came from someone who 44 minutes earlier in the same thread had said, “nullius has the intention to commit sin and fraud”.  I had taken that seemingly grave accusation with a grain of salt, for reason that that its source lacked credibility:  Dorkie had previously accused theymos of being part of an “inside job” hacking forum accounts—replete with a Bible quote, to warn theymos about Judgment Day.

So why now should I have bestowed on me such an ode of hagiography as I wished to frame and hang on my wall?

Nullius' sole objective is to facilitate the mass adoption of bitcoin.

Scrolling back through the same thread, I suddenly felt as if a vision and a calling were decrypted before my eyes:

A lot of entities here favor worshiping the new money god that is bitcoin.
And these entities would like everyone else to follow suit and worship the same.
Such conduct is sin and corruption.

Lo!  Unwittingly as if possessed, I had acted in loyal service of the new money god that is Bitcoin!  ’Twas for that, the Divine Bitcoin lavished me with this compliment as a reward:

Nullius' sole objective is to facilitate the mass adoption of bitcoin.

A reward—and a guiding light, showing me to my true calling.  I now see it all so clearly, yea:

I am called to devote myself to the sacraments of Bitcoin Divine.  Bitcoin of holy name, whose prophet was Satoshi, whose coming answered the prayers of the cypherpunks.  Bitcoin, who keeps the world ledger of all souls’ wealth, has commanded me that my “sole objective is to facilitate the mass adoption of Bitcoin.”

Bitcoin has called, and with joy do I answer.



Thread Rules: Read Before Posting

  • This is a self-moderated thread.
  • As the exalted Leader of this cult, I shall pass judgment on posts:
    • I will delete any post which offends the god of Bitcoin.
    • I will delete any post which offends me personally.
    • I will offend any post which I deem stupid, illiterate, lacking in sufficient substance to justify its forum existence, and/or lacking in sufficient substance to justify its author’s mortal existence.
  • The sole exception to said rules:  At my discretion, a post which fails to meet Cult standards may be spared by me—solely for the purpose that I may shower it with derision, and humiliate its author.
  • The standards of the Bitcult shall be unapologetically elitist—aristocratic, in the original sense of the term.  Just as is Bitcoin.

I shall take liberties in editing my own posts, including this one, for the exclusive purpose of polishing and perfecting the scripture of the Cult.  I also may lock and unlock this topic as I please.  Most importantly, as a cult leader, I have the prerogative of taking advantage of my adoring followers financially (and the attractive female followers in other ways).

All hail the god of Bitcoin.

nullius (OP)
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December 29, 2017, 11:59:13 PM
 #2

I. The Basic Laws of Bitcoin

The god of Bitcoin has no mercy.

21000000 is a number sacred unto the god of Bitcoin, and beloved in his eyes.  Never shall there be more than twenty-one million bitcoins.

The god of Bitcoin grants unto you full power over yourself:  No king, no priest, no judge, no senate, and no army can command or countermand your decree over your own bitcoins, as signed with the sacred mark of your private keys.

The god of Bitcoin demands that you take full responsibility for yourself:  For it is a law of Nature and Bitcoin that power and responsibility are as two sides of the same coin.

The god of Bitcoin commands, you shall keep safe your private keys.  An ye lose your private keys, the god of Bitcoin shall curse ye.  An ye let your private keys be stolen, the god of Bitcoin shall bless the thief and curse ye.

The god of Bitcoin demands obedience to the divine Law of Consensus.  The damned who hardfork without consensus are renegades, abjurers of holiness, rapine oath-breakers, frauds, sowers of discord, and traitors, who shall be consigned damnatio memoriae with their chains to eternal poverty within the depths of Tartarus, where all hashes are broken and all bits are made nothing.

For their service in the unending sacred task of Byzantine fault-tolerant transaction ordering, miners are blessed with riches, yet cursed to eternal struggle against each other.  The god of Bitcoin hungers for hashes, and shall devour lightning and worlds to secure the transactional ordering of the blockchain.

For his judges and executioners, the god of Bitcoin appoints full nodes.  Full nodes execute the will of the god of Bitcoin upon the network.  His legions thus shall cast into the alt darkness all who dare violate the communion of Holy Consensus.

We of the Bitcult Faith gather in the sacrament of the Consensus, in worship of the Bitcoin, in homage to the memory of the prophet who was our forerunner, Satoshi Nakamoto.

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January 01, 2018, 01:36:08 PM
 #3

I was wondering if we worship Satoshi like a God if we'd be tax exempt. It couldn't hurt. All hail the one true God, Satoshi Nakamoto!
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January 01, 2018, 11:59:18 PM
 #4

I was wondering if we worship Satoshi like a God if we'd be tax exempt. It couldn't hurt. All hail the one true God, Satoshi Nakamoto!

The god of Bitcoin has no need of religious pretensions for tax purposes.  O, ye of little faith!  The Nullian Bitcult is for zealots who believe that Bitcoin shall make banks, fiat currencies, and taxes obsolete.

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March 04, 2018, 10:21:08 AM
 #5

I am a follower of St IGNUcius
https://stallman.org/saint.html

I guess the Bitcoin cult is compatible with the Church of Emacs.

I can not choose between them, I want both!!! It is true that I hope licences will vanish one days, but atm we got them.


God

god



Warning: taking any church too seriously may be hazardous to your health.

It would be cool to have an hymn like the free software does
http://www.gnu.org/music/free-software-song.html

It might be also helpful to help the cult of bitcoin if the bitcoin comic, that I believe is pretty good good, could be bought with something that is not using DRM. DRM is non free software it just sucks.

I bought the comic thinking it was an ebook = pdf and now I have this file I can not use and I can not get refunds, I call it a scam, since it was hidden that was DRM. I wanted to use the comic to make it easier for my dad to get to understand what Bitcoin really means.

I hate when I can not read something I crave not even when I pay. I went off topic, but this is the off topic section Tongue

thanks nullius for this cult !

thanks Satoshi for using your genius for the better !
Quote
The Nullian Bitcult is for zealots who believe that Bitcoin shall make banks, fiat currencies, and taxes obsolete.

Can I legally resell that DRM? I guess not. My first and hope last encounter with DRM definitely sucked, now I get all these campaigns against it much better.
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Meretrix Conceptions, Disincorporated


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March 27, 2018, 06:29:41 PM
 #6

Upon his altar, me I do lay
His sacrificial thrall:
Encipher’d nights, encrypted days,
For Bitcoin, I give all.

Take me, hash me, fuck me, sign me:
I’m become a vessel of bit-devotion;
For your bits, I’ll give condign glee
Transacted in rhythmic motion.

   An divine maths do you adore,
   Number me your sacred whore.


For Faith, Hope, & CHARITY
Loading etymology of “whore”...





29 March is the official forum birthday of Bitcult Pontifex Maximus nullius.  To celebrate, I have something in store...





I guess the Bitcoin cult is compatible with the Church of Emacs.

Poetry handcrafted with vi(1)
Loading old vi comic...

Use PGP! PGP is sexy. 😍 0xB589C6F74DCAE7A2E932A9773E0E253A69696969
(PSA: Do not rely on short keyids. Using my code + sipa’s keygrinder,
0x69696969 took 1055.33375204 seconds on 1 core of an old laptop CPU!)
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April 01, 2018, 09:25:51 AM
 #7

i'm a new worshipper of god bitcoin but i adore his mistress as well, ether goddess.
when i'm in doubt, i talk to the god, if he can't give me the answer i need, i turn to the goddess.
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October 01, 2020, 12:02:10 PM
 #8

Go Bitcoin Go! ?

nullius (OP)
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October 01, 2020, 04:30:00 PM
 #9

You can’t prove that Bitcoin isn’t an emergent divine consciousness arising from the nexus of (0) mathematically ordered pseudorandom processes, and (1) the collective psychic energy of anarchic market competition for a limited supply.

It behaves as if it has a mind of its own.  It bends mere mortals to its will.  It exists on an intangible plane; and yet, it can influence physical reality.  (Proof:  Buy physical goods with Bitcoin, and behold in awe the remote psychic power that makes people ship stuff to you as surely as if it operated by psychokinesis.)

It demands the sacrifice of electric libations poured out by votaries known as “miners”; and it rewards the mining faithful much more than most gods reward sacrifices.  It operates on a revealed truth, the Divine Law of Consensus, which it enforces much more reliably than most gods enforce their commandments.

When you watch the Bitcoin market, do you not pray deep in your heart for glorious Bitcoin to smash the wickedness of fractional-reserve funny-money?

Prayer, Exhibit 0, with the twist of a doubter?
Go Bitcoin Go! ?

Bitcoin is invoked through cryptic arcana which, per Clarke, are indistinguishable from magic.  Forsooth!  How could it not be the act of a god that, by invoking such things as hereby displayed, you can send me intangible spirit-wealth from anywhere in the world?






Scholars of culture know that this is how religions form.

Of course, I don’t really believe the foregoing.  Or do I?  Is there any rational reason not to believe it?

Unlike most preachers and prophets, I have not actually contradicted any known or scientifically ascertainable facts.

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March 10, 2021, 10:43:42 AM
 #10

How to join a cult? Do new members need to pass any tests?

well, or at least the pronunciation of some kind of oath, something like that.

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