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Author Topic: Offer For Chinese Students  (Read 46081 times)
epii
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March 26, 2011, 07:37:00 AM
 #101

Okay, I'm not Chinese, but I heard this joke from a Chinese person.  ;p

Quote
An American and a Chinese person get in a taxi together, and tell the driver to take them to Prosperity.  After driving for just a short while, they see a fork in the road up ahead.  The taxi driver asks them whether they should turn left or right.  First the American replies, "we definitely must turn right if we want to find Prosperity!"  Then the Chinese passenger says to the driver, "I agree that we must turn right, but would you mind using the left indicator?"

Apart from the economic aspect of the joke, this is especially funny if you've ever driven in China.

Vires In Numeris.
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erick
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March 30, 2011, 08:49:32 AM
 #102

Make me laugh.  I like to laugh at some good Chinese humor.  If you write or translate some jokes then I might pay you.  If you send a photo of yourself doing something funny, I might pay you.  I may post what you create on my blog bitcoinblogger.com.  Thank you.

Here is what I will pay:

If I smile: 0.05 BTC
If I make a laughing smirk (closed mouth): 0.15 BTC
If I laugh out loud (low): 0.35 BTC
If I laugh out loud (medium): 0.50 BTC
If I laugh out loud (maximum): 1.0 BTC
If I roll on the floor laughing: 100 BTC

If you translate a Chinese joke then post it in this thread.  If you think you have a 100 BTC pic you made yourself send it to:

bitcoin.cryptocurrency@gmail.com

I may decline this offer at any time depending how my mood is for day and how many people have tried to make me laugh.  I have paid out my bounties 100% of the time.  Don't forget to post your bitcoin address along with your submission.

Wedding night, upset the bride tells the groom.


She has something to confess to him.


The bridegroom say:


"Honey, that's ok. I know you skip the strip."


The bride said: "but I will confess is in before."


The bridegroom asked:


"Don't you say you've Bohemian, very not self-respect?"


The bride said:


"Yes, I haven't after sex-change surgery before..."
do you laugh。。:-)
bitcoins address;1QJ7oYvH7aMrtGPUjb7dhLx6QcQh6X3Sgb
lily
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March 30, 2011, 02:04:57 PM
 #103

the following topic requests to be  togethered with four words  which  are  coherence connections:
 1, zhang haidi sister  paralyzed;
2, zhang haidi sister stubbornly learned;
3, zhang haidi sister learned several foreign languages;
 4, zhang haidi sister learned acupuncture.
 The correct answer should be: "zhang haidi sister although paralyzed, but stubbornly studied, not only learned several foreign languages, but also learned to acupuncture.
The results is that there is a child who wrote: although zhang haidi sister stubbornly learned acupuncture and several foreign languages, but she still paralyzed. 
then another more fierce child wrote: zhang haidi sister learned  not only several foreign languages, but  also acupuncture, her so stubbornly study, finally paralyzed!
 
my address:1AoxEzaizi3CW1XcFooqTUN5y3AKShJLYU
Thank you
xiaochong
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April 06, 2011, 01:10:59 PM
 #104

One day, the Magistrate passing a construction site with his wife, a red county workers wearing helmets shouted to his wife :"Hi, remember me? in   High school we are always  make  dates?"
when back to  Home, Magistrate said:"You marry me is  your luck, or you today is the wife of a construction worker".     " you are the true  luck man , otherwise, today he is a magistrate." Magistrate Mrs replied.
xiaochong
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April 06, 2011, 01:18:07 PM
 #105

One day, the Magistrate passing a construction site with his wife, a red county workers wearing helmets shouted to his wife :"Hi, remember me? in   High school we are always  make  dates?"
when back to  Home, Magistrate said:"You marry me is  your luck, or you today is the wife of a construction worker".     " you are the true  luck man , otherwise, today he is a magistrate." Magistrate Mrs replied.
   :)address:18eDc6pVXvFLY6SXLjg274YrzRWDAc1bK
wdjz314
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April 06, 2011, 02:47:54 PM
 #106

天呀!我刚才又捡到一分钱,赚死了啦!
 God! just picked up one penny. How big this fortune is!
听着!我要追你!我一直要找的就是你!这次我不会再错过机会了!我一定要追到你为止。。。。。。死蟑螂,追到你就踩死你!
 Listen, I want to chase you! You are the one I am looking for. This time I won't miss the opportunity. I'll catch you up...damn roach, and kill you then!
想要把你忘记真地好难,思念的痛在我心里纠缠,朝朝暮暮的期盼,永远没有答案, 为何当初你说要请我吃饭?
 It's difficult to forget all about you. I am hurt by the pains of missing you. I  am expecting day and night without answer. Why do you promise to invite me to dinner?
一天0和8在街上相遇,0不屑地看了8一眼说:“胖就胖呗,还系什么腰带啊?”
  One day the Arabic number 0 met the Arabic number 8 in the street. 0gave 8 a scornful glance and said:"Since it is the fact that you are plump,is there any need to tie a waistband?"
其实我留意你很久了,可是你周围总是包围着不同的人,如果有机会让我跟你单独见面,我一定会把握机会,轻轻地捂住你的嘴,然后问你一声:要钱还是要命。
 Actually I have noticed you so long , but someone else is always around you. If I have chance to only meet you, I would cover your mouth with my hands and fiercely say: "I'll kill you unless you give me money."
你知道吗?当你笑时,全世界都跟着你在笑,当你哭时,全世界。。。。。。只有你一个哭。但我是不会眼睁睁地看着你哭的,我会闭上眼睛。
 Do you know? When you are laughing, the whole world is laughing with you; When you are crying......only you are crying. But I won't stand by to watch you cry. I'll close my eyes.

1DsPnbS7JF37arVkt3q2sG2s7Eu5b4xhnA
realy
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April 07, 2011, 12:06:56 PM
 #107

Sand monk: "teacher, later if trouble we never came to find guanyin bodhisattva."
Eight quit: "you eat the wrong medicine?" Sand monk: "I did not take medicine."
Eight quit: "that you should take medicine."
Tang's monk: "don't butt in! Why?"
Sand monk: "let's go find'll do it."
office, national chain Tang's monk: "enlightened net you too naive! If that is what you get that I named the jade emperor more."
Do you laugh now?
My address:1CGWFPzTWum4dfnx7VAddmyAA4n6FG4Kid
realy
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April 07, 2011, 12:13:07 PM
 #108

Sister and brother-in-law up




Onion sister one day, Mr. That night he and went home to sleep in.


The next morning, o Onions get up and get ready for school, before going out, ask a mother said: "my sister and brother-in-law up?"


Mother said: "not yet."


Then went to school, onion.


Noon onion home for dinner, o mother "and asked my sister and brother-in-law up?"


Mother said: "not yet."


Afternoon onion come home from school, o a door ask mom said: "my sister and brother-in-law up?"


Mother said: "haven't, you today why always ask your sister and brother-in-law up yet?"


Answer: "o Onions before you go to bed last night I want to go to the bathroom brother-in-law heard sister take lubricant, but I get up in the morning when I put in the bathroom, found a powerful agents gone."

epii
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April 07, 2011, 06:18:58 PM
 #109

Sand monk: "teacher, later if trouble we never came to find guanyin bodhisattva."
Eight quit: "you eat the wrong medicine?" Sand monk: "I did not take medicine."
Eight quit: "that you should take medicine."
Tang's monk: "don't butt in! Why?"
Sand monk: "let's go find'll do it."
office, national chain Tang's monk: "enlightened net you too naive! If that is what you get that I named the jade emperor more."
Do you laugh now?
My address:1CGWFPzTWum4dfnx7VAddmyAA4n6FG4Kid
That is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

Vires In Numeris.
realy
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April 09, 2011, 08:05:33 AM
 #110

 :)Great minds think alike!
Do you want to know more?
Perhaps you have already know a lot of jokes in China.But if you want to know more i will do my best to tell you.
epii
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April 09, 2011, 08:21:05 AM
 #111

:)Great minds think alike!
Do you want to know more?
Perhaps you have already know a lot of jokes in China.But if you want to know more i will do my best to tell you.

Most English jokes are based on irony or sarcasm.

Vires In Numeris.
realy
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April 09, 2011, 08:27:20 AM
 #112

Like this??
Take the natural log of root i
     (This is strange, but I swear I don't lie)
     Ask Euler if you doubt -
     From his grave he will shout:
     "That's i times one quarter of π!"
epii
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April 09, 2011, 08:52:06 AM
 #113

Like this??
Take the natural log of root i
     (This is strange, but I swear I don't lie)
     Ask Euler if you doubt -
     From his grave he will shout:
     "That's i times one quarter of π!"

Are you asking me to explain my limerick?

My statement above is best explained by this:

Guys, you need to work harder on the translation, the jokes dont make sense.

But that's the best part!! :DD

Your joke is funny to me because I have absolutely no idea what it means.

Vires In Numeris.
langduan
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May 21, 2011, 02:50:49 PM
 #114

姑姑还是那样,过儿已经老了

在剧中,杨过与小龙女在时隔16年后的阴历3月终于重逢,而戏外,2011年的阴历3月同样是16年后,古天乐和李若彤在飞往云南的飞机上相遇。古天乐对李若彤说的第一句话竟然是‘姑姑’!说完连他自己都惊讶,竟然已经有16年了,这16年两人并没有怎么联系过,古天乐笑言:“姑姑还是那样,过儿已经老了!”

http://pic.yupoo.com/dapenti/B5c38yYd/QB2qa.jpg

Auntie  looks the same as before, Guo have been old

In the play“ Divine Eagle ,Gallant Knight”, Yang Guo and Little Drangon Princess in the lunar calendar the first time in 16 years after the last reunion in March, while outside the movies, the lunar calendar in March2011 is also 16 years later, Louis Koo and Lee Yeuk Tung photogenic aircraft flight toYunnan Opportunities. Louis Koo's first words of Lee Yeuk Tung turned out to be “Auntie”!Having even he was surprised, actually has 16 years, 16 years how they have not contacted, Louis Koo said with a smile: " Auntie  looks the same as before, Guo have been old! "

THANKS!  Enjoy your weekend!

My address:    16GFFpXbjGjrFtL7Xjc7ikSrA52Wy96neQ
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May 21, 2011, 05:52:23 PM
 #115

Sorry for interrupting, but I'm sure this joke suits here perfectly.

A quick brown fox was regularly visiting Old McDonald's farm in the night. He would take one hen each time and eat it.
But one day he fell into a trap. Old McDonald asks the fox: Are you the one that steals my hens?
"No", said fox.
But this was him.

EN<->PL, GER->EN, GER->PL TRANSLATIONS? Send a PM, will do it cheaper than others!
If someone gets kind: 1CtV2wKbQGFe1sfVPDYGroGSxehNfd1bHN
Xiong Zhuang
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May 22, 2011, 07:05:06 AM
 #116

姑姑还是那样,过儿已经老了

在剧中,杨过与小龙女在时隔16年后的阴历3月终于重逢,而戏外,2011年的阴历3月同样是16年后,古天乐和李若彤在飞往云南的飞机上相遇。古天乐对李若彤说的第一句话竟然是‘姑姑’!说完连他自己都惊讶,竟然已经有16年了,这16年两人并没有怎么联系过,古天乐笑言:“姑姑还是那样,过儿已经老了!”



Auntie  looks the same as before, Guo have been old

In the play“ Divine Eagle ,Gallant Knight”, Yang Guo and Little Drangon Princess in the lunar calendar the first time in 16 years after the last reunion in March, while outside the movies, the lunar calendar in March2011 is also 16 years later, Louis Koo and Lee Yeuk Tung photogenic aircraft flight toYunnan Opportunities. Louis Koo's first words of Lee Yeuk Tung turned out to be “Auntie”!Having even he was surprised, actually has 16 years, 16 years how they have not contacted, Louis Koo said with a smile: " Auntie  looks the same as before, Guo have been old! "

THANKS!  Enjoy your weekend!

My address:    16GFFpXbjGjrFtL7Xjc7ikSrA52Wy96neQ

I dont think this is a joke.
pppsunny
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May 25, 2011, 03:12:49 PM
 #117

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5225/5758238513_701099957e.jpg
Ai Weiwei, a Chinese artist and activist recently arrested.
Tiananmen Square.
Image of Mao
Crab, a symbol of Harmony government advocated


when I saw this I laughed for hours, hope will make you laugh

12rcQ3rQj4qrTa2jtSJMJv5ovQXyxT6jSa
rex
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May 28, 2011, 10:43:40 PM
 #118

Well, I'll try to translate some. The translation itself may be funny too with respect to my English skills. Sad  the following can be seen as funny stories happened in the daily life.

1
和几个哥们约好看欧冠,拜仁和里昂的第一场。开始前大家一起在打牌。好不容易熬到时间比赛开始了,虽然都有点困意,人一多热闹了就都不想睡了。
比赛很精彩,有人骂着,有人喝着,都在为比赛、为足球狂热着。感叹着,一起看球就是有感觉。
比赛90分钟结束,一伙计冒出一句话:“哪一个是拜仁!”

I was watching an UEFA Champions League match together with some bro. It is the first match between Bayern and Lyon.

At first we played cards. After a long waiting the match finally started. Everyone was somehow sleepy, but soon became excited.

The game was wonderful. Everybody started to yell, with happy or angry. Everyone became crazy. It's really good to watch the game with others, and I feel as if my blood boiled.

After 90 minutes, the game was over, and we begin to leave the place. A little voice raised up suddenly, "which is Bayern?"
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May 28, 2011, 10:47:36 PM
 #119

BTC address
14pGC2yAfgkYS19rbRdJHiBCX7EvCp3J5T

I'm going to find one more.
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May 28, 2011, 11:05:13 PM
 #120

2
今天面试没通过 ,因为他们觉得我的打扮过于女性化了 。

???!!

我TM就是女的 ……


Today's interview was not passed. They told me that it is mostly because my dressing is too much feminized.

Huh!!

WTF, But I AM a female...
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