Lending money or damaging family bond ?

[MarjorieZimmermanGinger]

~Snip~ I think about it twice and if he had not been that untrustworthy, I would have definitely lent him the money. Anyway, I hope he is doing fine now and best wishes to him.

It's too complicated to trust people and lend the money we have to them, even though it's our family who are still quite close. There are several experiences that I experienced exactly as you describe, I mean there is a pattern that you can apply and this has also been practiced by me in my life, this will only apply to those who like to owe but find it difficult to pay anda not in general to the whole family.

In the past several families came to the house asking for loans because they thought they were part of the family so I tried to help, but in the end they made no repayment and they always ended up silent without speaking again. For now, if one of the families asks for a loan I never give again but if they ask under the pretext of really needing it, then I will give half of the loan request It is more in the form of assistance not as debt.

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[Sanitough]

If you have the capacity to lend someone in your family that will not gonna give huge impact to your finances then why not help them? Unless this guy has multiple unpaid loans to you then you should not lend him anymore. Human is not a natural untrustworthy, there situation just push them to become that kind of person. I have this kind of cousin too that continuously badgering me about borrowing money. I can’t give him the amount that he want but I still lend him money that I can afford.

Sometimes family is worthy than money especially if you will see this person most of the time because they knew you are financial stable which is painful for them to be turn down.

Same with my point too. It’s not hard to lend a money especially if you see that person is really in a bad financial situation. As long as you are lending your extra money, I think that will not make you financially broke. Even if that person keeps asking you for assistance, you can always give as long as you do it willingly. However, if you discover that he is just spending your money for his vices, well helping him is not worth it. By that time, you can give him some advice, but never lend him money anymore as you are only used to provide him for his vices.

[fuguebtc]

If you have the capacity to lend someone in your family that will not gonna give huge impact to your finances then why not help them? Unless this guy has multiple unpaid loans to you then you should not lend him anymore. Human is not a natural untrustworthy, there situation just push them to become that kind of person. I have this kind of cousin too that continuously badgering me about borrowing money. I can’t give him the amount that he want but I still lend him money that I can afford.

Sometimes family is worthy than money especially if you will see this person most of the time because they knew you are financial stable which is painful for them to be turn down.

Same with my point too. It’s not hard to lend a money especially if you see that person is really in a bad financial situation. As long as you are lending your extra money, I think that will not make you financially broke. Even if that person keeps asking you for assistance, you can always give as long as you do it willingly. However, if you discover that he is just spending your money for his vices, well helping him is not worth it. By that time, you can give him some advice, but never lend him money anymore as you are only used to provide him for his vices.

Agree, lending someone money is not a big deal if we have some spare money to lend them. But the important thing is that not everyone can lend, we need to determine that person is good or bad. If they are people who don't keep their promises, don't work hard, but just play around, I will refuse without hesitation, if lending them a loan will only cause trouble. And good people who are really in trouble have no reason to refuse them.

[Ngewex Yuk]

When we find it very difficult, of course it is feasible to lend, the presence of many platforms or online loan applications makes it easy for those of us who really need money, some time ago I really needed money to pay off a mortgage, then I applied for a loan online and within 2 days it was approved and I I got the loan amount, and now I have paid it all off.

[savetheFORUM]

This happened to me a lot of times. Relatives used to borrow money from me and out of mercy I lend them my hard-earned money but they didn't pay me and they are even ignoring my texts and chats. From my experiences, I learned to say no and cut ties with abusive relatives. You did the right thing because that's a huge amount of money especially if that relative of yours isn't trustworthy. When it comes to money, we can see the true colors of the people around us. You shouldn't be the one to feel awkward because you just saved yourself from stress.

That happens with almost everyone since all of us have that kind of relatives who borrow money by becoming innocent at first and then don't even answer your calls and messages. The only way to avoid such people is to simply say no at first by making some excuse because if you don't make an excuse, they can become very toxic later on.

Never lend money to people who you know would never return your money, at no cost you should compromise your own life and self-esteem for someone else no matter how hard they try and how many times they ask you innocently.

[Cedie]

This happened to me a lot of times. Relatives used to borrow money from me and out of mercy I lend them my hard-earned money but they didn't pay me and they are even ignoring my texts and chats. From my experiences, I learned to say no and cut ties with abusive relatives. You did the right thing because that's a huge amount of money especially if that relative of yours isn't trustworthy. When it comes to money, we can see the true colors of the people around us. You shouldn't be the one to feel awkward because you just saved yourself from stress.

That happens with almost everyone since all of us have that kind of relatives who borrow money by becoming innocent at first and then don't even answer your calls and messages. The only way to avoid such people is to simply say no at first by making some excuse because if you don't make an excuse, they can become very toxic later on.

Never lend money to people who you know would never return your money, at no cost you should compromise your own life and self-esteem for someone else no matter how hard they try and how many times they ask you innocently.

I always lend money to my relatives the first time. I also always give the benefit of the doubt to the person who borrows money from me, especially if it is someone that I am close to. But when the time comes that I ask for the money to be paid back or when the time is due and that person did not pay me, I acknowledge the fact that that person will never pay me ever. And I will never lend that person money again, ever. At least then, I have the reason not to lend that person money. It is not always about the amount, regardless how much is borrowed from me, I consider the trust that I give to that person and how the broke it.

[arwin100]

This happened to me a lot of times. Relatives used to borrow money from me and out of mercy I lend them my hard-earned money but they didn't pay me and they are even ignoring my texts and chats. From my experiences, I learned to say no and cut ties with abusive relatives. You did the right thing because that's a huge amount of money especially if that relative of yours isn't trustworthy. When it comes to money, we can see the true colors of the people around us. You shouldn't be the one to feel awkward because you just saved yourself from stress.

That happens with almost everyone since all of us have that kind of relatives who borrow money by becoming innocent at first and then don't even answer your calls and messages. The only way to avoid such people is to simply say no at first by making some excuse because if you don't make an excuse, they can become very toxic later on.

Never lend money to people who you know would never return your money, at no cost you should compromise your own life and self-esteem for someone else no matter how hard they try and how many times they ask you innocently.

Best to say no always especially if they borrow just for the sake of unimportant matters since its really hard to have bad blood to your relatives if they refuse to pay on agreed date.

Its really good for us not to lend to anyone even if this is our close relative so that they can establish the thoughts that we are not into that and we will never lend money to anyone. But also we also need to take some consideration like important matters for example immediate medication and that maybe we can consider and think only that we give it to them so that there's no hard feelings for us if they will not pay the money we sent to them.

[Uruhara]

When we find it very difficult, of course it is feasible to lend, the presence of many platforms or online loan applications makes it easy for those of us who really need money, some time ago I really needed money to pay off a mortgage, then I applied for a loan online and within 2 days it was approved and I I got the loan amount, and now I have paid it all off.

the presence of a loan application has indeed become a solution for everyone who is urgently in need of a fast loan. but the problem is that the OP's relatives want a large loan of three thousand dollars. and I'm pretty sure it's rare to find a loan application that will quickly lend three thousand dollars at a time. Loan applications usually only lend a small amount.

[isaac_clarke22]

~

That would really suck. I get the habit of welcoming others, but maybe not being to the point of you being the doormat. Regardless of any amount, the trust was already lost at that point and you even mentioned that you're not rich. Having a money lent to someone is just like an investment of you thinking that the money you gave will surely be losses and you would not get it back regardless.

This is why I also do not really want to lend. I hate chasing people to pay and I don't really enjoy interacting with people that are trying to test my patience. It is either I would not talk to you at all anymore or I would talk to you in a one-liner to end the communication there and never ever hear anything from me again.

[Sir Legend]

There is a saying that money ties are stronger than blood ties, and nowadays it is true. Many people have lost their families because of debt problems and it is difficult to get back together. On the other hand, when there is hostility, it will be easy to unite with money, With this fact, of course, we must be vigilant and always have a commitment to repay debt.

[Tony116]

When we find it very difficult, of course it is feasible to lend, the presence of many platforms or online loan applications makes it easy for those of us who really need money, some time ago I really needed money to pay off a mortgage, then I applied for a loan online and within 2 days it was approved and I I got the loan amount, and now I have paid it all off.

the presence of a loan application has indeed become a solution for everyone who is urgently in need of a fast loan. but the problem is that the OP's relatives want a large loan of three thousand dollars. and I'm pretty sure it's rare to find a loan application that will quickly lend three thousand dollars at a time. Loan applications usually only lend a small amount.

Besides, the loan app will force you to pay interest, there have been many people fell into default with the loan app when they did not pay on time and the interest amount was too large. Borrowing from relatives is still a better option because we may not have to pay interest and can extend the repayment period if it is difficult to recover the amount.
Lending money or borrowing money from others is really a sensitive issue, when it comes to money, relationships, no matter how close, are very vulnerable. In my opinion, limiting lending is the best thing.

[firesurfer]

That depends on your communication skills. Family cannot be left behind, especially siblings. For cousins, the priority will be lower. If you don't want to give him enough money, lend him half or 1/3. That will help you feel less anxious. Or you can talk to your cousin's parents when the loan is not returned.
It's also not good that you help them too often because they will lose the will to move on. So use your money wisely.

[Chilwell]

I think about it twice and if he had not been that untrustworthy, I would have definitely lent him the money. Anyway, I hope he is doing fine now and best wishes to him.

It wasn't your fault, so don't fill bad about it, I know the reason why you didn't lend him money, because you cannot afford to lose it. This is the best way for you to win this war. People don't judge from the beginning, they only judge what they see and by than no one will listen to you. To you did the right thing.

[alastantiger]

Managing finances properly is key to our financial life, which is well known to each of us, I guess. I feel like this is in my bones so sometimes I make some decisions subconsciously. I recently ran into a situation where I found myself really awkward. Last July or August(I can't remember that clearly), one of my extended family cousin asked me for three thousand dollars as he lost his job and could not pay off his loans. I refuse to lend him the money cause I knew him well that he was not a solid trustworthy guy. A few days ago we met on a family reunion occasion and he did not really talk to me and I suddenly realized that it was because I didn't lend him money last year. I think about it twice and if he had not been that untrustworthy, I would have definitely lent him the money. Anyway, I hope he is doing fine now and best wishes to him.

In my own opinion, not lending him money due to his untrustworthy bahaviour is now a right thing to do. When a person is trust worthy, it will earn them a lot. People will believe what you say trust you. I have a friend with a similar character. Every time he borrowed money from me, I will have to fight with him to collect it back. One fateful day,  pleaded with me to lend him some money, but I told him I had the money but I would never lend him any. His pleading but it fell on deaf ears. Since then, he hasn't talked to me and I do not care. I cant trust him for anything, and such a person can't be my friend because I can't even defend them in their absence.

[hugeblack]

It is a complicated issue, but you should know that the money that you lend to a dear person is zero, otherwise it will get you into high problems that have no benefit because he will not be able to pay his debts, so you will not go to court and demand his imprisonment.
Therefore, if you need money, do not lend it, and if you are not in need, try to give him 30% of the loan and watch his behavior.

[AnonBitCoiner]

In some situations destroying family bond is not bad decision and I think that a person cannot always trust because sometime he have to think about himself and about his benefit because he work hard for earning such money.

If your cousins cannot afford life expenses then he should do something to earn money and then he should invested such little amount in crypto but begging in front of others and then do not give loan back is a bad thing and no one should do this.

If you realized about your cousin that he is not such a type of guy which will return your money then making an excuse is better option.

[Davian144]

When we find it very difficult, of course it is feasible to lend, the presence of many platforms or online loan applications makes it easy for those of us who really need money, some time ago I really needed money to pay off a mortgage, then I applied for a loan online and within 2 days it was approved and I I got the loan amount, and now I have paid it all off.

What confuses me here is when you said you wanted to pay off the installments you already had, but why did you make another online loan to pay off the installments? Because in the end you also have to pay off your online loan in a timely manner because by making another online loan for an installment, that means you have two loans that you have to pay off. So how do you pay off everything while you take your online loan to cover existing old installments, while you also need to pay in installments to pay back the online loan that you took.

the presence of a loan application has indeed become a solution for everyone who is urgently in need of a fast loan. but the problem is that the OP's relatives want a large loan of three thousand dollars. and I'm pretty sure it's rare to find a loan application that will quickly lend three thousand dollars at a time. Loan applications usually only lend a small amount.

That's absolutely true, because in online loan applications they usually immediately determine how many loan limits they can issue for each borrower. So it is clear that it will not be enough for OP's relatives to rely on online loans, which are now very numerous. The only way for OP's relative is to approach a rich man and get the rich man to trust him to give him that kind of money as a loan, although I also don't believe that would have a much better chance of succeeding.

[Finestream]

Managing finances properly is key to our financial life, which is well known to each of us, I guess. I feel like this is in my bones so sometimes I make some decisions subconsciously. I recently ran into a situation where I found myself really awkward. Last July or August(I can't remember that clearly), one of my extended family cousin asked me for three thousand dollars as he lost his job and could not pay off his loans. I refuse to lend him the money cause I knew him well that he was not a solid trustworthy guy. A few days ago we met on a family reunion occasion and he did not really talk to me and I suddenly realized that it was because I didn't lend him money last year. I think about it twice and if he had not been that untrustworthy, I would have definitely lent him the money. Anyway, I hope he is doing fine now and best wishes to him.

He must be financially broke that time that forced him to lend some money from you. And since he though you could help him, that’s why he did it. But if you really doubt his trustworthy, well that’s your decision too not to lend him some money as it’s your own money in the first place. However, if I were on your shoe, I could have lend him some money that time knowing I am doing well financially. No regrets if not paid as long I was able to help him. But I can’t blame you too because you know your cousin well more than we did.

[Fatunad]

This happened to me a lot of times. Relatives used to borrow money from me and out of mercy I lend them my hard-earned money but they didn't pay me and they are even ignoring my texts and chats. From my experiences, I learned to say no and cut ties with abusive relatives. You did the right thing because that's a huge amount of money especially if that relative of yours isn't trustworthy. When it comes to money, we can see the true colors of the people around us. You shouldn't be the one to feel awkward because you just saved yourself from stress.

That happens with almost everyone since all of us have that kind of relatives who borrow money by becoming innocent at first and then don't even answer your calls and messages. The only way to avoid such people is to simply say no at first by making some excuse because if you don't make an excuse, they can become very toxic later on.

Never lend money to people who you know would never return your money, at no cost you should compromise your own life and self-esteem for someone else no matter how hard they try and how many times they ask you innocently.

Best to say no always especially if they borrow just for the sake of unimportant matters since its really hard to have bad blood to your relatives if they refuse to pay on agreed date.

Its really good for us not to lend to anyone even if this is our close relative so that they can establish the thoughts that we are not into that and we will never lend money to anyone. But also we also need to take some consideration like important matters for example immediate medication and that maybe we can consider and think only that we give it to them so that there's no hard feelings for us if they will not pay the money we sent to them.

There would be considerations or exemptions on which you would really be helping him/her or giving him a loan but in times of emergencies specially if life is at stake on which you cant really be able to let it see that they are suffering and you do know that you do have the money set aside.For these kind of moments then it wont be bad to grant up some loan but dont expect that they would be repaying it up fast and this would be entirely be depending to those someone who did really request out if he would mind on paying it back or not.Its true that lots of relations had been destroyed because of money on which on the time that you
refused into them then this is where relations do start on messing up.

[nimogsm]

I had a similar bitter experience,only I lent money to a relative and of course he did not return it to me The amount was a little less, but it was enough for me to understand what kind of person he was.Now,when one of the relatives asks to borrow money, I suggest that they take a loan in bank.There are only a few people who deserve my trust.