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Author Topic: What's the best advice or should I just let him  (Read 719 times)
mamesso
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November 05, 2023, 04:52:25 PM
 #21

The first thing you should ask him is how long he has been active in online casinos and other gambling activities.?
You can only advise him depending on how long he has been actively engaging in gambling activities. Every elderly person certainly has a different past, maybe when they were young they were addicted to gambling so this habit is very difficult to break even when they are old.

You have to take a closer approach to protect his feelings when giving him advice. You can give advice when you are joking or in a good mood, usually the person being advised is more likely to accept advice from other people when they are in a happy mood.

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November 05, 2023, 04:58:11 PM
 #22

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.



Usually I adivce people to gamble within limits but if I were a senior citizen and if I were widowed then I would enjoy the damn life however it is.
So in this case, you should let him be himself because there's nothing he can do by saving that money.
Now is the time to enjoy it and he is doing exactly that.

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November 05, 2023, 05:25:10 PM
 #23


Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


You should at least be sure if he's getting addicted first. Because at such age just as you've mentioned he probably will be enjoying his alone time playing games on casinos. In my country, men of his are mostly found playing games of that sort and I don't find it addictive but rather as a means for them to exercise their body and brains for them not to be inactive. He's kids might also be aware of his gambling habit. so the best thing you might want to do for him is to spend more time with him when you are less busy and keep him company. that's if you truly care about him not being alone.

R


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November 05, 2023, 05:41:46 PM
 #24

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


How do you know he is getting addicted? Are you sure you are not mistaken being active for addiction? You already said he is retired, a pensioner and all his children are professionals... in my opinion, he is having fun. You don't need to advice him because he does not need the advice.

If you must advice him, you first ask question to know if there is anyway the gambling is impacting on him negatively. If there is no way he is feeling the effect, then there will be no need advising him.

R


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November 05, 2023, 05:44:41 PM
 #25

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


How do you know he is getting addicted? Are you sure you are not mistaken being active for addiction? You already said he is retired, a pensioner and all his children are professionals... in my opinion, he is having fun. You don't need to advice him because he does not need the advice.

If you must advice him, you first ask question to know if there is anyway the gambling is impacting on him negatively. If there is no way he is feeling the effect, then there will be no need advising him.

Yes I agree with you as sometimes giving an advice to a stranger like in this case, he is your new neighbour he may get offended and your relationship with your neighbour may get a bit awkward.

I hope his family know about it and they know what is good or bad for him and there is no need to interfere in his life. It's better that you leave him on his own and let his family decide what is best for him. These days people do not like interference in the life specially when they are not your friends and not in your family.

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November 05, 2023, 05:48:14 PM
 #26

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
It was clear that the widow had no one to guide and accompany her in every activity she did, including gambling activities, For me, give him advice and understanding about the dangers of gambling, give him understanding and views on gambling addiction, if you are a close friend who he trusts.

Because he has children for responsibilities that he must carry out in the future, tell your friend that gambling is not the best solution to solve economic problems in his life, there is still a lot that can be done to be able to make money for his and his children's living expensesfuture.

For me, your intentions are good, do what you can to advise the widow and give her a good understanding, before she becomes addicted.

R


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November 05, 2023, 06:03:59 PM
 #27

How do you know he is getting addicted? Are you sure you are not mistaken being active for addiction? You already said he is retired, a pensioner and all his children are professionals... in my opinion, he is having fun. You don't need to advice him because he does not need the advice.

If you must advice him, you first ask question to know if there is anyway the gambling is impacting on him negatively. If there is no way he is feeling the effect, then there will be no need advising him.

Yes I agree with you as sometimes giving an advice to a stranger like in this case, he is your new neighbour he may get offended and your relationship with your neighbour may get a bit awkward.

I hope his family know about it and they know what is good or bad for him and there is no need to interfere in his life. It's better that you leave him on his own and let his family decide what is best for him. These days people do not like interference in the life specially when they are not your friends and not in your family.

And also on the other hand not everyone is able to take advice well, or I mean if they are one of those people who do not like to be criticized by others regarding whatever they do then maybe they will say something unpleasant to you, especially on the other hand it is a new person in your environment in the sense that your social relationship is still too early with them. Yes, I also understand that maybe you care about them with the aim of helping them get out of the gambling activity through some of the suggestions you put forward, but in my opinion don't immediately take action like that, it's better to approach first, find out first whether the person is addicted or not and also if you can invite the person to chat to make sure and ask whether the activity has a bad impact or not on his life, and now after that you can give some effective advice.

And also on the other hand you have to find the right time to socialize with them especially with the aim of interfering with the activities they do, lest you be labeled as a neighbor who likes to interfere in other people's affairs. On the other hand, I am sure that one of the people in the family must have the right mindset and they will definitely know what to do to help overcome the addiction problem of one of their family members if they are really addicted.

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November 05, 2023, 06:10:48 PM
 #28

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
This is a situation that should be handled with extreme caution. First you do not want to upset him and second you do not want to sound like you are poking your nose in his business because you are not his kid, nor a family member, nor an attorney and you literally have no right to advise him on whatever lifestyle/activity he has decided to adopt.

Loneliness maybe one of his reasons why he's always online and gambling. If you feel that he's getting addicted to gambling you should try and be his friend and rather than talking him out of his gambling habit look for an activity that the both of you can engage in that is not gambling-related. It would help reduce his time online.

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November 05, 2023, 06:24:59 PM
Last edit: November 05, 2023, 06:44:49 PM by macson
 #29

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.

i think it would be better for you if you don't interfere in his affairs, you should know that an old man will be very difficult to command or advise, or if you don't want to get involved further in his life, you can tell his child about the activities carried out by his father because only his son has the right to forbid his father from gambling.  Gambling is a person's choice, for those who have nothing to lose when gambling, the prohibition you say will only be considered a passing wind, it is better for you to just make him like a friend, and continue to promote moral support to him and convince him. to stop one day, but still with gentle words and without the impression of coercion.

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November 05, 2023, 06:26:08 PM
 #30

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.
Based from your story, I guess we're from the same country and I do hope that you don't try to approach them advising them to stop with their cockfighting and gambling leisures for your own safety  Grin

Just like you've mentioned, senior citizens are sensitive being told to especially when it comes to their leisures whether it's for drinking or gambling even with their family members. One way that I've found to openly discuss this without offending them is having a discussion outside their gambling leisures and try to direct the conversation to it and try to approach with your opinion on it. But still, I don't really recommend that you advise them anything as it is much better coming from their family members instead.

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November 05, 2023, 06:33:22 PM
 #31

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.



I think you have nothing to fear because I'm sure that grandpa is in control of himself when it comes to gambling. He doesn't do anything else so he just enjoys it. You said that he is a pensioner, which means that he worked for several years so that his children could become professionals, and I salute that.

You're not very close to him because he just moved, it's not good to criticize the hobby of someone you don't know very well yet. that you assume that he immediately becomes addicted to gambling. For me, it's normal for people at that age to become gamblers because they don't do anything in their lives anymore, they just enjoy the time they have left and I don't see anything wrong with that.

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November 05, 2023, 06:59:18 PM
 #32

If he asks for your help then you should give him some advice. But if he's not ever asking for your help then you better let him do what he's doing.

He might even tell you to mind your own business and don't get involved with others affairs if you tell him something that he's asking for.

Or make a friendly conversation if you really want to give him some tips and from there you start the whole advising.

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November 05, 2023, 07:08:04 PM
 #33

What is the amount of money that he Is investing in this activity? Are you sure he Is not keeping track of this activity and maybe he Is just investing a low amount (for him?)
If you are not really confident with him I would avoid any discussion on It... of course of you noticed some negative signs so yes, you should talk about It...

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November 05, 2023, 07:14:15 PM
 #34

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


Unless you see him playing with large amounts of money that you know he cannot afford, just let him be. Monitor whenever you can to see if he's being responsible. Just because someone is gambling, doesn't mean they are addicted or going too far.

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November 05, 2023, 07:16:57 PM
 #35

Well I think he is actually just doing it for fun and to keep himself busy since he has no one to engage with in activities or discussion but the fact that you said he is almost getting addicted to gambling seems far fetched though. Although as senior citizens and age factor, he would be very sensitive to your plight but you can still do it in a ca way buy just being jovial and enteracting with him as a kind of opinion on how to cut the time and funds he spends on gambling maybe you can introduce him to a flexible activity to while away his gambling time and if you must do this, possibly let his children know and seek  their consent so that if it happens he reports you to his children, they too are already aware and would overlook it without getting worried over it otherwise they might likely press some charges against you.

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November 05, 2023, 07:53:09 PM
 #36

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


Op I think you need to get more closer to him to find out if he is addicted already to gambling before considering how to help him out otherwise you may decide to approach him but he may see it as an insult since you said he's doing things he never enjoyed doing at his young age. If you find out that he is an addited gambler, you can advise him by letting him know the dangerous effects of addiction, you can win his heart by pointing out the disadvantages of gambling to him I believe he will see the need to stop gambling if you give him a very good explanation.

You can also introduce him to a better place to start saving the money he uses for gambling once he sees needs to save, teach him things about Bitcoin who knows if he will be willing to learn and some day he may have the interest to invest in Bitcoin instead of gambling with his fund.






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November 05, 2023, 08:31:59 PM
 #37

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.

If you care enough about the person, then there is nothing wrong if you approach the person further so that you can give advice easily and the person can accept the advice you give. Because keep in mind that sometimes there are some gamblers who often show an arrogant, competitive, overconfident attitude and lack of empathy, so they often ignore people who try to advise them on their behavior.

And my advice is, in order to address your concerns about this person, then do your best to bring them to their senses. But remember this must be done with a good approach and strategy. because if not, apart from your efforts will fail but you will also be hated by the person. And if in the future your efforts fail, then it's okay not to interfere too much with other people's affairs and just pray from a distance that he quickly realizes from a bad behavior that he did. However, I hope that you can do this well.
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November 05, 2023, 08:55:00 PM
 #38

I would worry more about the domestic service girl!

They say around these parts "an old dog barks lying down" if he doesn't get up, leave him alone. In any case, the mistake, if something happens, is his children's, good luck to the old man, which that someone like you cares.

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November 05, 2023, 08:58:23 PM
 #39

I'd like to ask the community I have a newly moved neighbor he is a widowed senior citizen and he lives alone with a house helper, all his children are now professionals and he is a pensioner, we talked a lot about many things  I just noticed that he is very active on online casinos and other gambling activities like lotto and cock fighting every weekend, his children do not know his activities and I'm afraid he is getting addicted.

Should I give him advice on how to manage his gambling activities or I just let him since he is just enjoying his senior years and doing things that he missed doing when he was still young? and what's the right approach, we all know senior citizens are sensitive to criticism.


Just let him be, i know that deep inside that we do have that kind of concern but since its his money or do came from his children then we dont have the rights on telling him on what he should gonna do.
If he do find out that playing is really something that do enjoys him then its his choice. He knew that he could be able to sustain himself considering on having pension plus his children are already having those stable work on which there's something that he would worry about but instead he would be thinking about having those entertainment and enjoying himself into his retirement days.
We are really just that too judgmental on some point on which presuming that people would easily get that addicted and basing on what we do see then we could make out those kind of conclusive approach without even trying out to realize that there are people who are really just spending their money for fun but not really that totally addicted.

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November 05, 2023, 09:05:09 PM
 #40

I don't see any reason you should go tell him anything except he is going worst by selling off his property or cars to gamble, the main goal is that if he finds pleasure doing it without becoming an addicted gambler then there's no essence meeting him or trying to interfere in his personal business except he opens a door for you to come into his personal affair before you could start pitching it little by little without using all arrogancy or boldness to tell him about what he is doing is wrong especially with his age bracket he don't mind calling 911 for you.

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