Who should quit, and why?

[shivansps]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

This is not a simple situation. But who will feel better if the spouse leaves? Second spouse, children? No, this is not a solution to the issue; it is simply an evasion of responsibility. It will be better for the family if none of the spouses leaves, but both quit playing if they cannot control it and problems have already arisen. If one of them just stops playing, this will not solve the issue, because the second one will sooner or later bring him back. This is an addiction, but God will help you cope with any addiction, including gambling.

[shivansps]

^

Absolutely agree with you guys. I don't understand people who demean women before men. Yes, I understand that some of these people follow their religion, but it seems to me that following such religions in the 21st century is absurd. In my understanding women should have all the same privileges as men, not only in entertainment, but also in other spheres of life, because they are an integral part of the process thanks to which mankind has not yet died out.

A religion that belittles women, in my opinion, is either wrong. Or people do not correctly understand the laws related to this religion. Women are no worse or better than men. Everyone has their own role. I agree with you, maybe this happened a long time ago, but now it’s hard to imagine

[Wiwo]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gambleHu gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

This is not a simple situation. But who will feel better if the spouse leaves? Second spouse, children? No, this is not a solution to the issue; it is simply an evasion of responsibility. It will be better for the family if none of the spouses leaves, but both quit playing if they cannot control it and problems have already arisen. If one of them just stops playing, this will not solve the issue, because the second one will sooner or later bring him back. This is an addiction, but God will help you cope with any addiction, including gambling.

Gambling on it's own is risky and at to have both spouses are gambling uncontrollably it becomes a big problem and just as you said,  having one of them quitting and leaving the other one person behind is of grave danger but if both decide to take the rough path to quite it works better.

Better still they could consult a doctor if there be any possible medical help that can be rendered to them since it is obvious that,  quitting gambling on your own may be hard are almost impossible at some point and if both of them decide to do it on they own,  it should be that there must be a change of environment and also changes in a lot of things the couples do to be able to quit and not slide back to their addictions again easily.

As you said in your last paragraph,  seeking spiritual help from God is ultimate,  but then if that is done with the mindset that a miracle will happen and they just overcome the addictions overnight,  it may also become hard,  but if the spouse prays and works hard,  they will eventually defeat the addictions that are worrying them.

[Fivestar4everMVP]

If they are both able to earn their own money, I think they can both continue to gamble. They can also share household expenses. I think there is a possibility that both of them might get out of control, but it is not a sure thing, and both of them can manage to act responsibly. I don't think it's right to have prejudiced thoughts against this imaginary couple.

There’s no point in even thinking about the fact that sooner or later their joint activities will get out of control. And I hope you understand perfectly well that the consequences for both will be incredibly sad. Not only will they lose all their money, but they will also go into debt that they will not be able to pay off due to their gambling addiction. I went through this myself and I never want to go back to it. I had a very hard time getting out of debt.

I agree with you bud, like I said in my previous comment, there is no way I am going to be under the same roof with a woman who gambles, and this may not be to the fact that we may both get out of control, but for the fact that, we both gambling will surely affect our children.
Imagine where the father and mother In the house are both gambling, what do you think the children will become when they grow up or even before they grow up, they probably will become gambling addicts even while still in their mother's womb  .

Now, jokes aside, it's a real fact, I will rather quit gambling and possibly continue doing it in secret if I really can't do without it, and have my wife quit too, it's better we both quit than continue gambling and have it affect our children.

[uneng]

I agree with you bud, like I said in my previous comment, there is no way I am going to be under the same roof with a woman who gambles, and this may not be to the fact that we may both get out of control, but for the fact that, we both gambling will surely affect our children.
Imagine where the father and mother In the house are both gambling, what do you think the children will become when they grow up or even before they grow up, they probably will become gambling addicts even while still in their mother's womb  .

Now, jokes aside, it's a real fact, I will rather quit gambling and possibly continue doing it in secret if I really can't do without it, and have my wife quit too, it's better we both quit than continue gambling and have it affect our children.

But what would be the problem if your children saw their father and mother gambling sometimes? If you play responsively without compromising your children's education, personal emotional and material needs, they will see gambling in a very natural way, just like you do, as a couple. When they grow up it will be up to them to decide anyway, if they will want to become gamblers as well or not. There isn't a certain recipe for the development of an addiction or hobby. Sometimes children follow their parents' steps, but in other cases they just go the complete opposite way rejecting everything meaningful for their parents.

If you and your wife enjoy gambling, that is something you can do together for the entertainment of both of you. It's so hard to find partners inside a couple who enjoy doing the same things. People are so distant from each other nowadays, that I think when we match in our preferences of hobbies we should enjoy and be thankful for that.

[Shamm]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

I don't think it has been discussed before, if this happens to us this is going to be a hard question for me as my wife always has the last say when it comes to finances  but it's better for us to just alternate playing, even if I want my wife to quit we will quarrel about this so why not just play alternately, she will have a whole week playing, and after a week it's my turn to play.
Of course, the money should be allocated so the rule is no additional funds, both of us should be content with the allocation

This is what actually happened to my neighborhood as her husband is a gambler an she want to stop her husband for playing cause she has the mindset that it's a waste of money but her husband dint follow her still gamble everyday.and the time that they talk as a wife and husband, they decided that  her husband can still gamble but in limit cause he gamble for fun now not aiming for more profits unlike before. So the situation is it's up to the wife and husband if they gonna talk about it or not.

[Blitzboy]

Well, I find this very difficult to resolve. We cannot force a person to quit gambling. While we are gambling. If economic conditions are good and both people know how to control themselves in gambling and have a lot of free time. Both could use some time to gamble. If either of the people has an addiction and a difficult economic situation, I think both should quit gambling. We cannot gamble in front of people who are addicted to gambling, and they will not be able to go through rehab.

Let them determine their own path in life, meaning whether they are good or bad at gambling, they are the ones who judge and if a husband and wife enter the world of gambling and they enjoy it and it doesn't even become a burden on their family then what's wrong with them gambling?? And it must always be remembered that husband and wife as gamblers must cover up this behavior as much as possible in front of their children so that their children do not follow in their parents' footsteps.
However, gambling is a bad behavior in life and not everyone can control themselves well when gambling.

If a husband and wife are already gambling, enjoy it together and maintain good control and always be careful in every gambling game they play.

If we are referring to the sense of care between people then yes maybe I would also say the same thing as you in the sense of allowing them to continue gambling and without giving any best advice, but don't we have a humane sense, if we realize that in fact the whole activity is not recommended then why don't we give them a little advice and understanding that is straight and true? Honestly, I can't help but care about everyone whether it's my friends, relatives or even strangers, especially if they are married, which means they have full responsibility for the finances in their family, especially in terms of balancing so that everything can remain fine.

Sometimes people who have a goal to have fun are very likely to enter the addiction phase unconsciously and experience problems with their finances, well even if the couple considers gambling as entertainment but still the risks are always unavoidable and one of them is like what I said that it is possible that over time they end up with addiction, you have also said that not everyone can control themselves and emotions in gambling, isn't that also very likely to be experienced by this couple and then they experience problems with family finances? It's basically everyone's right, but certainly hopefully they can change their point of view to be more realistic so that they can consider anything correctly.

Yes, we must balance care with realism. Embracing our natural tendency to care, especially for loved ones, is vital. Understand their wants and motivations, not just let them continue. Empathy needs to be combined with realistic guidance. As amusement, gambling may soon become addiction, affecting the individual and their family's finances.

Considering the couple's situation, we should remember that while they can choose, they have duties. As you noted, not everyone can gamble responsibly. This is where friends and family matter. We assist them, not just watch. Its about gently helping people identify risks and reconsider their decisions.

Awareness, not command, is the goal. We should encourage them to critically evaluate their habits and their family's well-being. Empowering them to make informed decisions that consider the bigger picture is key. This strategy guides them toward sustainability via caring and responsibility.

[Fivestar4everMVP]

I agree with you bud, like I said in my previous comment, there is no way I am going to be under the same roof with a woman who gambles, and this may not be to the fact that we may both get out of control, but for the fact that, we both gambling will surely affect our children.
Imagine where the father and mother In the house are both gambling, what do you think the children will become when they grow up or even before they grow up, they probably will become gambling addicts even while still in their mother's womb  .

Now, jokes aside, it's a real fact, I will rather quit gambling and possibly continue doing it in secret if I really can't do without it, and have my wife quit too, it's better we both quit than continue gambling and have it affect our children.

But what would be the problem if your children saw their father and mother gambling sometimes? If you play responsively without compromising your children's education, personal emotional and material needs, they will see gambling in a very natural way, just like you do, as a couple. When they grow up it will be up to them to decide anyway, if they will want to become gamblers as well or not. There isn't a certain recipe for the development of an addiction or hobby. Sometimes children follow their parents' steps, but in other cases they just go the complete opposite way rejecting everything meaningful for their parents.

If you and your wife enjoy gambling, that is something you can do together for the entertainment of both of you. It's so hard to find partners inside a couple who enjoy doing the same things. People are so distant from each other nowadays, that I think when we match in our preferences of hobbies we should enjoy and be thankful for that.

Well, I perfectly understand the angle you are coming from and I completely agree with you, but to be honest with you, there is no gambler out there who would say that he or she had never felt really bad about a loss in gambling, no matter how responsible the gambler is or tried to be, the truth remains that, there will always be times you may lose a game you had high hopes on, and there is a very high chances that you may transfer or use that anger to attack your children necessarily, now, think of what such scene will be like if both parents are involved.

Now, I know my argument or opinion above doesn't really mean much, but personally, I just don't find it fun gambling alongside my partner(wife), if we do something together and have fun doing it, we could watch a movie together, or play video games together, or may be visit places and so on, I just don't find gambling a fun thing to do with a partner, probably because it involves losing money.

[gunhell16]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

This is not a simple situation. But who will feel better if the spouse leaves? Second spouse, children? No, this is not a solution to the issue; it is simply an evasion of responsibility. It will be better for the family if none of the spouses leaves, but both quit playing if they cannot control it and problems have already arisen. If one of them just stops playing, this will not solve the issue, because the second one will sooner or later bring him back. This is an addiction, but God will help you cope with any addiction, including gambling.

The question is: is gambling the only source of income for the couple so that their family can survive? But if they have other sources of profit, for me, it's better for one of them to give.

Then they should think of other resources that can produce profit, and when they can establish earnings in the business they thought of, they will decide to quit little by little so that at least their stopping will not be sudden and not difficult. on their part. Because the sudden stop is difficult, there will still be temptation in the end. It seems that it is still a matter of fighting themselves, of course.

[Hispo]

The question is: is gambling the only source of income for the couple so that their family can survive? But if they have other sources of profit, for me, it's better for one of them to give.

Then they should think of other resources that can produce profit, and when they can establish earnings in the business they thought of, they will decide to quit little by little so that at least their stopping will not be sudden and not difficult. on their part. Because the sudden stop is difficult, there will still be temptation in the end. It seems that it is still a matter of fighting themselves, of course.

Very unrealistic a couple (even a successful couple) could have gambling as their sole source of income, the reasons are obvious and it has pretty much discussed several times here in the forum. In the end, the house always wins.
What you describe is rather a ideal plan for a couple to replace their unstable and reckless "source of income" with something more conventional and reliable, but the fact is that sadly, if a couple is made of two individuals who have gotten accustomed to gambling to the point neither of them is willing to quit, it would be just matter of time before disagreements and fights start to ensue between them.
Both would need to be willing to sacrifice their source of entertainment and the sake of each other, and I think going cold turkey on the problem won't help in the case some of them could not resist the temptation and continue to gamble their money.

If the situation became desperate enough, I would personally get a third party involved who could help with the management of the finances, someone trusted by both people of the couple and bith serve also as a mediator.

[Huppercase]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

Before I'm going to answer, is gambling now enough to feed the house, the last time I check, gambling is not an office work that require 100% of your time unless you want tonl sleep in the casino as for physical gambling and website as for the online gambling. So you want to tell me that the husband of the wife will forever be playing all day. Gambling is not a steady source of income that is going to stop the man or the wife to play their roles as a husband and wife.

I'm not sure about others but too much of gambling as a responsible parents will affect how they do at home. Imagine using gambling as source of income and then lost for the day, you will be sad and what are you going to feed your family if you depend on it for feeding your family. That's a wrong thing to do, they can both play and what they like but it should never stop both of them.ffom carrying out their duty.

[sokani]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

Though I've not heard of such situation where both spouses are gamblers, but if they could manage their finance properly in a way that there's always money to cater for the family needs and children's educational expenses, then I see no reason for any of them to quit. They can still be gambling, having fun while raising their kids but in the case where one of them is not being prudent with his or her gambling habit or spending, then help should be sought after or should quit gambling.

[Accardo]

Well, I find this very difficult to resolve. We cannot force a person to quit gambling. While we are gambling. If economic conditions are good and both people know how to control themselves in gambling and have a lot of free time. Both could use some time to gamble. If either of the people has an addiction and a difficult economic situation, I think both should quit gambling. We cannot gamble in front of people who are addicted to gambling, and they will not be able to go through rehab.

Let them determine their own path in life, meaning whether they are good or bad at gambling, they are the ones who judge and if a husband and wife enter the world of gambling and they enjoy it and it doesn't even become a burden on their family then what's wrong with them gambling?? And it must always be remembered that husband and wife as gamblers must cover up this behavior as much as possible in front of their children so that their children do not follow in their parents' footsteps.
However, gambling is a bad behavior in life and not everyone can control themselves well when gambling.

If a husband and wife are already gambling, enjoy it together and maintain good control and always be careful in every gambling game they play.

Staying in control of their finance, emotions, and family decisions, once checked, no problem. Gambling is a form of relaxation and problem gambling could be destructive to the growth of a growing family. While the risks of having two gamblers as spouses are high, it can still be redirected to create fun and happiness in the family. Multiple life-fearing conditions can destroy a family; heartbreak and divorce. If spouses have a common activity that glues them in union to love one another, they won't have any problem whatsoever in running a successful family. Provided that they love one another, they won't stop at anything other than keeping the emotions of the kids safe and caring for them financially. Both parties will know the bad effects of discussing gambling moves or strategies around kids, hence they won't do that when the kids are around. They should gamble together in a physical casino rather than an online casino. Online casinos may be boring to them and they can easily wager more money. But, a physical casino presents them with the opportunity of team work.

On the contrary, I support both quoted responses, that say if both spouses don't have the control of staying responsible, they can quit gambling. One person shouldn't stop, it'll only cause trouble in the future. Keeping to their words and forgetting gambling will be difficult, but with determination, they can stop it. As one person can't see the other gambling and wouldn't dare to gamble. When a person has once been addicted to something, he won't be able to control himself whenever he sees somebody engaging in that same act. Moreover, they may have known about their gambling habit before getting married, during courtship. So, trying to stop them when they've gotten married, isn't encouraged, everybody has this control of building a successful home. In a nutshell, before getting married, if they're good gamblers both spouse may have thought about it and concluded on a specific rule to tackle irresponsible gambling to save the home or marriage.

[summonerrk]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and the family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

Though I've not heard of such situation where both spouses are gamblers, but if they could manage their finance properly in a way that there's always money to cater for the family needs and children's educational expenses, then I see no reason for any of them to quit. They can still be gambling, having fun while raising their kids but in the case where one of them is not being prudent with his or her gambling habit or spending, then help should be sought after or should quit gambling.

In fact, if gambling weren't so addictive and dangerous for people with poor self-control, it would be a great development. For example, on Friday evening, you and your wife decided to buy beer together and sit and play slots. I think this will cause a lot of emotions, and they will be stronger than when watching a TV series or a computer game, but the price for this is too high. That's why I don't drag my girlfriend into this. I don't want her to have her self-control tested.
Women are weak and such entertainment affects them much more strongly than us men.

[Nwada001]

Obviously the wife has to quit gambling. The husband has the responsibility to provide money for the family so it is understandable that he goes into gambling to meet up with the family needs. On the hand the wife's responsibility is to grow and care for the family. Am still wondering how women who are into gambling tend to mix family responsibilities with gambling. After looking out for the kids, prepare meal for the family, do the dishes and make preparations for the next day. They still have time to gamble. Such a woman is strong and i do not have any issue with women in gambling. Am just saying that the both of them should not be gambling at least there should be one who will help manage the other from being addicted.

Putting it this way, it seems like the father, as the breadwinner of the family, has every right over whatever decision he takes, and the wife is not subjected to the same right.
 
And then again, saying that the man needs to go there in order to raise money for the family, do you mean he is putting the family budget based on gambling winnings, which he is not sure about? If that's the case, then the family might end up going to bed some days without even eating a square meal after gambling, which might have given him the biggest disappointment of his life.
 
But in the aspect of the wife being supposed to be with the children more than the husband in respect of that one going to work to chase their daily bread, it's understandable, but in gambling, I don't think using it as a means of making money is an eligible excuse to permit one spouse to gamble and the other not to.

[goxcraft]

This is not a simple situation. But who will feel better if the spouse leaves? Second spouse, children? No, this is not a solution to the issue; it is simply an evasion of responsibility. It will be better for the family if none of the spouses leaves, but both quit playing if they cannot control it and problems have already arisen. If one of them just stops playing, this will not solve the issue, because the second one will sooner or later bring him back. This is an addiction, but God will help you cope with any addiction, including gambling.

Yes both of them should quit gambling. They can set an example by doing this. At least they can try to quit gambling for the sake of their children. The thing you said about affecting each other is also correct. If I see my spouse gamble in front of me, it's only natural that I too would want to gamble. Trying to be busy in life with work or resisting the urge to gamble all of these efforts will be in vain if others gambled in front of that person.

[madnessteat]

A religion that belittles women, in my opinion, is either wrong. Or people do not correctly understand the laws related to this religion. Women are no worse or better than men. Everyone has their own role. I agree with you, maybe this happened a long time ago, but now it’s hard to imagine

As far as I know, today in some Muslim communities women are still considered inferior to men. Whether it is good or bad, everyone decides for himself, but in my opinion it looks like humiliation of mothers, sisters and wives. Such women are not only unable to gamble, they cannot have their own opinion and voice. It's a shame that this happens.

[Stable090]

it would be good for a couple to understand their responsibilities. there are children to be financed, education costs, health, household costs, investments, savings, etc., all these things must be met. if they gamble, it might be disturbing these plans which will be a problem in the future. but if they understand how to become a gambler responsible and good at managing their financial, gambling might not be a problem for them and it is not necessary for them to get out of gambling.

I don’t know how the both of them will be able to cope. I don’t think two spouses gambling won’t end up affecting their family in one way or another. I won’t be surprised if one of them or even both of them might be addicted to gambling, and if addicted to gambling, then it’s really bad for them because it’s going to affect their financial management, and also because it’s really bad for their children because they might be learning from what their parents are doing, and the children might even end up being addicted to gambling, which might even be worse. If anyone will be gambling, then it should be one person, and parents shouldn’t disclose to their children that they do gamble.

[zuzie]

you have also said that not everyone can control themselves and emotions in gambling, isn't that also very likely to be experienced by this couple and then they experience problems with family finances? It's basically everyone's right, but certainly hopefully they can change their point of view to be more realistic so that they can consider anything correctly.

Yes, maybe that will be experienced as time goes by. Maybe over time they will become addicted because they cannot control themselves in gambling because they may enjoy the games they play too much and forget about proper boundaries and self-control and this will also cause new problems in the family. It is true that this is their personal right or the personal right of every gambler.

That's how it should be, changing your perspective or thinking about gambling is actually not a place to make real money and gambling is a place to spend money quickly. That's the truth.

[Quidat]

Hey house someone need a few clips here, don't know if a post of this exact nature has been discussed though.

In a situation where the both spouse are gamblers. Husband gambles, wife gambles, how can both of them manage the situation in terms of finance and family affairs especially when children are now involve so that the time both spends on gambling doesn't affect family moments and affairs in general.

Would it help if  one of the couple quit for the other and if that's the case who should quit for who.

I don't think it has been discussed before, if this happens to us this is going to be a hard question for me as my wife always has the last say when it comes to finances  but it's better for us to just alternate playing, even if I want my wife to quit we will quarrel about this so why not just play alternately, she will have a whole week playing, and after a week it's my turn to play.
Of course, the money should be allocated so the rule is no additional funds, both of us should be content with the allocation

This is what actually happened to my neighborhood as her husband is a gambler an she want to stop her husband for playing cause she has the mindset that it's a waste of money but her husband dint follow her still gamble everyday.and the time that they talk as a wife and husband, they decided that  her husband can still gamble but in limit cause he gamble for fun now not aiming for more profits unlike before. So the situation is it's up to the wife and husband if they gonna talk about it or not.

And it would really be always be depending on how each of you would really be able to understand the situation and yes, anything could really be talked well both husband and wife since you are the ones who had been building up the family on which it would really be just that fine that you should really be that mindful on what are the things that  are needed up to be changed
because there's no family that would really be that perfect on which there are moments or times that we do make out some lapses and this is why it would really be needing up to have
those adjustments for the sake of your family. As a husband then it would really be just that right that you should lead on how to handle this situation, it is impossible that you cant be able to determine on which wrong and which is bad.