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Question: Your spouse/husband earns a lot in gambling but one day loses it all: how do you react?
I'm divorcing / leaving him or her - 5 (15.6%)
I forgive him/her - 27 (84.4%)
Total Voters: 32

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Author Topic: Losing at gambling  (Read 1139 times)
Spaceman1000$
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March 02, 2024, 02:13:12 PM
 #21

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
As a man, if my wife is a gambler, there will come a time I will tell her to reduce her gambling playing time,  I believe it won't get to the level at which she will lose it all, because she will definitely be checkmated by me. I'm a gambler myself, so I know when is becoming excessive so I will take charge as the man of the house. However even though it gets to that point where she lose it all, it won't lead to divorce but she will definitely temporary stop gambling for a very long time. There will be no time she will even use our life savings to start gambling, the rule will always be that you will gamble with your spare money.

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March 02, 2024, 02:18:11 PM
 #22

...
It's true, I wasn't quite sure of the wording myself, which is why I added the savings. It's more liquid.

Wasting savings with gambling Is a big big mistake. I don't know if its a general rule get a divorce that bad mistake (love Is blind) but for sure its not a basic issue.
I have a general rule. Gambler only with money/ values that you are ready to trash as rubbish. If you have not these...you have not Money for gambling Wink

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March 02, 2024, 02:19:09 PM
 #23

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
When everything is fine the it would really be just that normal that you wont really be putting up some care on what your partner would really be dealing off with, but if you are that someone whose really that making out those kind advanced approach on things then you would really be just that basically making yourself that mindful about probabilities about possible potential problems that could happen. Losing money in gambling is inevitable and this is something that you would really be needing up yourself on having those kind of adjustments so that on the time that you would be suffering with that huge loses then you wont really be having those kind of impulsive approach. I didnt able to experience up these things (hopefully not) when it comes or pertains about gambling dealing.

Dont wait up for unfortunate conditions to experience before you would really be that deciding on stopping gambling because once you do have that kind of approach on things or reactions
then you would really be able to possibly avoid those potential problems. This is why it would really be best that you should be that sensible on the actions that you are taking or making.
You would really having no issues or problems if you are really just that mindful on things and not really just that playing without even thinking up.

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March 02, 2024, 02:21:51 PM
 #24

...
It's true, I wasn't quite sure of the wording myself, which is why I added the savings. It's more liquid.

Wasting savings with gambling Is a big big mistake. I don't know if its a general rule get a divorce that bad mistake (love Is blind) but for sure its not a basic issue.
I have a general rule. Gambler only with money/ values that you are ready to trash as rubbish. If you have not these...you have not Money for gambling Wink

Same with me, I would not directly think of divorce as a consequence of the problem. Love is not blind, though; if we love the person, we are willing to forgive. After all, that's just money; together, we can earn that money loss, but we have to sacrifice, as that is the consequence of the wrong action. When you are married, you become one, so a mistake of your wife could be your loss too. There's nothing to do but to forgive and start over again.

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March 02, 2024, 02:23:58 PM
 #25

Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
A responsible gambler would never gamble with all the money they have, it is even going to be very difficult to find someone who will gamble with all of their money. However if my spouse gets involved in that, i would try to help them get better, that is through counsel and also professional help of a therapist. It is also worth mentioning that my spouse cannot control all of my money, i don't believe in having joint accounts either, so if they get rekt through gambling, it is only their money they'll lose, and it cannot affect my finances, so i can't lose all through it if you understand what i mean.

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March 02, 2024, 02:27:45 PM
 #26

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?

This has never happened to me and I wish that everyone would not experience this very unfortunate scenario.

Assuming, however, that I were in that kind of position where my partner would bet everything and subsequently lost it all, I would definitely consider divorce as an option. However, this would not be the automatic response to this kind of situation as it would also depend on several factors.

If my partner is a compulsive gambler and she would bet our family savings without any regard to her responsibilities to the family, then I would definitely consider divorce. But if my partner has the responsibility of maintaining the financials despite his gambling tendencies to the point that she can control her emotions, then I would support her in any way that I could.

The non-negotiable factor here would be if my partner CANNOT meet her responsibilities and obligations to the family to the point that she would sacrifice and prejudice our savings to satisfy such urges.

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March 02, 2024, 02:32:19 PM
 #27

Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?

I think no one in their right mind that will be happy after their partner lose everything. This is why funds that use in gambling should be money that they can afford to lose to avoid arguments with partner. This is bad if you will use money from your savings that both of you contribute.

I think Divorce or separation is the high chance outcome if the money loss in gambling is their life savings funds. But I only bust my bankroll that is intended only for gambling then I don’t see the point on getting mad on it. Besides, I will not let my partner knew my gambling funds to avoid conflict and maintain my share on our finances.

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March 02, 2024, 02:34:31 PM
 #28

Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all.
Stop him or her bad hobbies before it become critical like that. If it's not controllable anymore, it's literally wasting money instead of entertaining as the main reason of gambling.

Talking about marriage and divorce, well, if it happens and divorce is legal in your country's law, do it, i'm sure someone told her/him to save or not get addicted in to gambling before something like that happens.

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March 02, 2024, 02:41:56 PM
 #29

If there is someone I know who is a regular gambler and if he regularly gambles he wins as well as loses money he has a higher ratio of winnings than losing money then we can consider that gambling as normal gambling. On the other hand, a gambler who gambles regularly but never wins by gambling, rather he keeps losing money, but gambling is never normal for that gambler. There are many gamblers around us who only lose money by gambling but still they don't give up gambling. As I am a gambler myself, I know that a gambler can not only gain money but also have the possibility of losing money. But I don't believe in the principle that I will always pay only money damages.

Personally, if I ever see the results of my multiple gambles going against me, I will temporarily stop gambling and try to figure out my mistakes. When I can find out my mistakes, I will correct those mistakes and try to gamble again.

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March 02, 2024, 02:42:33 PM
 #30

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
First of all, who won't be mad? It is a normal response in the first place and this is not exclusive to gambling alone, but with everything; you cannot lose or spend all of your money at once without any back up plans. But if this happenes on my end, I would be also mad but not enough to file a divorce. In this scenario, we are married and not just a typical couple. Every problem should be discussed between and within the relationship itself first. Give chances and considerations. However, there are just times this is evident in repetition which is a problem to resolve with the help of professionals. If my partner will insist not having herself treated, then that's the time divorce will be considered. Addiction is something not to be tolerated indeed but the person who does the act, should be always given a chance.
...
It's true, I wasn't quite sure of the wording myself, which is why I added the savings. It's more liquid.

Wasting savings with gambling Is a big big mistake. I don't know if its a general rule get a divorce that bad mistake (love Is blind) but for sure its not a basic issue.
I have a general rule. Gambler only with money/ values that you are ready to trash as rubbish. If you have not these...you have not Money for gambling Wink

There are just times you would be a bit pushy and greedy but indeed betting ALL is on a different level of drive to gamble. No matter how much you wish of winning, things won't be in favor of your desire and hope if you're unlucky. It will just appear as an act of foolishness. If it is easy to secure a winning bet then we should all rich by now.

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March 02, 2024, 02:59:56 PM
 #31

Never happened to me.
I am the only one who gambles at the house. When we go out, that's when my wife likes to play scratching tickets from the lottery outlet at the mall. I give her just the right amount to gamble so she could have fun but once it's all gone, we don't try to chase for a win because it could lead to more losses. Then, she will just say it's an unlucky day and we move on.

That's why I don't gamble much too because I always think about her and my kids. I just set a budget that would give me enough entertainment but I wouldn't dare push it up to the point where she would get mad at me once she knew the money was gone. That's just wrong. Years of relationship could just be gone in one mistake and that will not be okay with me. I don't want my kids getting exhausted with us fighting over them and I like to keep my family intact that's why I always remind myself to keep it in a responsible gambling manner so that I won't make any money fights. We can always earn it, but it's still better if we don't waste too much in just a bad habit.

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March 02, 2024, 03:00:42 PM
 #32

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?

If I am the husband and responsible person in the family that I have, for sure I will not let it lead to such a situation. This is if we know that we are responsible husbands in our family.
The only ones who can do that are gamblers who have a severe gambling addiction; a gambler who is not addicted to gambling cannot do that. Remember that there are only two types of gamblers:

the responsible gambler and the irresponsible gambler, and there are no others. The question is, where are you as an individual gambler in a casino?



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March 02, 2024, 03:03:33 PM
 #33

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
Divorce! Except the action has been a repeated act that after several admonitions she still continually repeats it then it's rational to call for a divorce to save yourself and your hard earned sweats from wasting away into gambling all of the times because you've a wife that is a chronic gambling addict. Such a mother is no doubt going to be of a bad influence to the character of our children seeing her behave in such manner because the mother is always close to the children more than father.

If it's just an attitude of the first time then a divorce is not necessary, it's just something two couples could sit and talk about despite how painful it gets, and especially in a relationship where children are involved I don't encourage divorce as the children are usually the ones to have the divorce impact mainly hammered on than the divorcees.

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March 02, 2024, 03:12:49 PM
 #34

Why would you marry a person who's addicted to gambling in the first place?

Unless you're a gambler yourself, you will surely forgive him/her because you know that in gambling, sh*t happens, and you can lose your money in an instant.

It's good that my partner isn't gambling at all, but if I knew that she was gambling, I would not marry her because I know that her gambling addiction will affect us in the future financially, and might affect me emotionally as well. I guess I will just forgive her if a situation like this happens to us. I mean we're married already, and a divorce will not solve everything. Divorce will not solve one mistake.

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March 02, 2024, 03:22:02 PM
 #35

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?

Ideally, this should never happen that you lose all of your money in gambling. A gambler who is properly handling his games, he would only spend a certain amount dedicated to gambling and even if he loses all of the amount, that will not affect his financial status. If any gambler is spending more than this amount in gambling, then he is doing wrong and he can be in a significant problem if he loses that amount.

Also, the near and dear ones like husband and wife are linked with each other and any issue with one of them will surely affect the other. So if the husband loses a lot of money in gambling or the wife loses a lot of money, both the cases, it is a loss for the whole family and in a worse situation that can lead to separation of the two, in case the husband and wife is against gambling and the other one insists on gambling even if he or she is losing a lot of money.

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March 02, 2024, 03:29:15 PM
 #36

I never have that experienced before and don't wants to have that in my life. I will be angry if my wife losing all of the money because of playing gambling, especially if she used all of our saving money just wants to win the gambling games. It's normal if we feel angry to our spouse when she/he playing gambling excessively with our money that we planned for our family. That's not our deals because we can playing gambling but with limitations so we can still controls ourselves when gambling. We don't wants to have a big problems from playing gambling so that's why we always applying a strict rules just to make sure we are still stick to our rules. That money is for our family and we make a plan for our future so if someone breaks it, we will have a big problems and I can't imagine what I will do for her.

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March 02, 2024, 03:30:05 PM
 #37

This is the kind of stuff which has never happened to me and hopefully it never does, to be honest. In my opinion, when comes to finding someone to marry or have a long relationship with, one is supposed to set priorities and be clear on whether gambling is supposed to be reduced for the sake of the marriage and the children one could end up having in the long term.
Though, setting this situation as an imaginary case, I am not sure who I would react to my spouse losing so much money in gambling (to the point of being left with nothing), I know I would not react in a violent way whatsoever, though taking some distance from that person would be something which will definitely cross my mind, in those scenarios is important to try to relax and not lose ones mind over money and for that to happen it is advisable to take some distance from the source of the problem or the person involved in the problem and seek for distractions in other places.

Anyways, all I can wish for would be for people never to go through this and never get physically violent against their spouse, it will make things worse for both of them.

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March 02, 2024, 03:31:35 PM
 #38

Look, marriage isn't just sunshine and rainbows.  When things are good, sure, it's smooth sailing.  But a gambling addiction can torpedo even the strongest relationship before you know it.  Thankfully Ive never dealt with that personally but I've witnessed the fallout enough times to know it's brutal.  You feel duped, betrayed and  and trying to rebuild trust after that kind of breach? Not easy, to say the least. 

Have an open and honest conversation about money early on.  And if a gambling problem emerges down the road, address it head on before the damage is irreparable.  Protect your partnership at all costs.

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March 02, 2024, 03:32:20 PM
 #39

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
Is relationship only about money? should money be the fuel in a union between married people, I do not agree because Love is what is most important. If as someone who has married another person and knows very well about their gambling habit, And then sometimes when they were successful in gambling you were part of the participants in enjoying the money, you shouldn't run away now that your partner has faced a difficult situation and has lost all his money to gambling rather help them get themself together and stand either to stop gambling and face something else for fun and understand again that gambling is not a source of income. As a partner, you also there for the hard times, just as the good times.

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March 02, 2024, 03:35:03 PM
 #40

Why would you marry a person who's addicted to gambling in the first place?

Unless you're a gambler yourself, you will surely forgive him/her because you know that in gambling, sh*t happens, and you can lose your money in an instant.

Sometimes sign of addiction is not noticeable including the addict himself if he is still in the positive profit side or less loss amount side on his PnL. A casual gambling activity is acceptable if the person life is still normal.

I think most of the couple that experience this kind of this situation was they notice late that their partner is already addicted or the partner becomes addicted when they are already married. I said this because it’s very hard to socialize with gambling addicted person in able for him to have a successful love life. I’m still struggling on love life part even though I’m not gambling addict. Cheesy

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