Just another gambling addict story.

[michellee]

I don't know what the real situation is. But you can try to talk to him honestly. Maybe he wants to tell you what really happened, including all the bad things he has done. He had to realize what he had done so he could see the impact.

It may be difficult to immediately take him to rehabilitation because he is not yet aware of the real problem he is facing. But by inviting him to talk privately, maybe he can tell the truth. He needs to understand what really happened.

But if he refuses to talk privately, it may be a little more difficult to get him to a rehabilitation centre. He must first be made aware of his bad gambling habits. Otherwise, he will just repeat the same pattern.

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[mindrust]

This guy needs professional help. Possibly drugs to calm him down. Some drugs mess up your brain so badly you’ll become a smiling zombie or a sleeping cow. That may solve the problem. Other than that you may try to talk you out of it but that rarely succeeds. These people are often very stubbrn. They usually don’t admit any wrongdoing too. You need to be smarter than them if you want to break this cycle. Maybe even drug his meals without telling him. It is because these people won’t go to the doctor themselves unless they fuck up huge and even then it is not guaranteed.

[DiMarxist]

Op you confused me entirely both grammar and the story. The story has no meaning and no clear understanding. So now what are you trying to say here? He collected all those money for gambling? I don't think so because from your narrative you said after he has collected all the money, he was resting for sometimes and that shows that he is not a gambling addict because if a gambling addict got such amount then he would have flooded the gambling industry. Or is it that he use the money to pay gambling debt?
But if I will advise you what to do, it is better for you people not to give him money again and if it is possible proclaim in the community that nobody should give him money again and I think that can go die a long way to reduce his gambling habit if really he is an addict.

[Solosanz]

Why you and your wife need to pay off his loan? isn't when your wife already married with you, technically your wife and her brother are no longer in the same family. So it's illegal for his neighbor and nephew to force your wife to pay off their loans, you could report them to authority.

Honestly when the gambling addict is just my distant relatives, I won't care too much since I won't owe their loans.

[Mr. Magkaisa]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

            -   I am sorry for such an incident in your family because a part of your family had such an incident just because of gambling addiction or vice. That's not good when the person becomes a vice and becomes an addict himself.

It's a bit unacceptable to me that your nephew's piggy bank was also taken; he didn't feel sorry for the child. I see only one remedy in that matter, and that is that he needs to be rehabilitated for a year, and at least in that case, there are high chances that he will realize that the things he did were wrong.

[Sandra_hakeem]

One of the hardest decisions to make would probably be taunting a close relation of yours for his crimes; yet, sparing his unrighteousness would mean serving him impeccable flowers for his flaws... So therefore "if a man goes against his bounds, he must be made to face the consequences of his actions regardless "..
Sometimes, people don't learn to quit a habit unless they're being squashed through an excruciating pain and frustration...Your brother in-law must not wreck your family!

[piebeyb]

I think you need to let him outside your house because if he still continues to live with you and your family of course he will never be able to change, he will repeat the same thing because you let him in a less firm way, you have to be firm in making the decision that you don't have to His brother lives with you and your wife in your house, let alone just playing until he really changes, besides, it would be difficult to send him to a rehabilitation center and I'm sure that way he won't be completely cured either.

Moreover, you and your wife will definitely spend more money to take him to the rehabilitation center, as you said, you don't seem to want to spend money to replace what he lost and don't want to continue to be harmed, especially by taking him to the rehabilitation center, you definitely need to spend money too. , for me maybe I will let him live out there and not allow him to come to my house until he is completely cured of his addiction. because gambling addiction is difficult to cure and takes time to heal itself, I think this is a bit harsh but firm to get your wife's brother to change and think more broadly to respect money that is not his. 

[decodx]

This is a tough situation. Rehab can help start the healing process, but clearly there are deeper issues at play.  The brother-in-law's actions suggest a troubling pattern of impulsive behavior and lack of conscience.  Stealing from a child to feed an addiction crosses serious ethical lines.  Perhaps legal authorities or family interventions need to set firm boundaries, requiring restitution and accountability and  addiction treatment alone may not fully address this individual's capacity for harm, so additional measures seem warranted to wake him up and protect vulnerable potential victims.  Tough love and real consequences could motivate real change.

[Hispo]

I am honestly sorry you are going to a situations like this one. When I first opened this thread and read this was going to be about an gambling addiction story, I never expected the OP of this thread to have anything to do with the person suffering from the addiction. 

I had heard about people addicted to gambling asking for loans and then avoiding to pay but it is a completely level of addiction and insanity to threaten to commit suicide if not being able to steal the saving of others, let alone if we are talking the savings one's family member who is closely related to them.
By the way, it would have been useful if you included the amount being stolen by your brother-in-law in United States Dollars because I personally do not have any idea how much that amount is without consulting some converting tools.

I sincerely hope you all can solve this issue as a family and you brother-in-law can be rehabilitated, this is the kind of conflict which could easily fracture a household beyond reparation. 

Is gambling rehabilitation free and of public access there in your country or is it private?

[gunhell16]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

It's right, dude, if you think that it should be rehabilitated then go for your plan. When the situation is like that, it's not normal anymore if you look at it honestly, OP. Instead of the situation getting worse, maybe later it will be your possessions that can be sold or mortgaged, you don't know yet.

Imagine that he was able to get into debt in various ways, and it even led to the theft of money that other people had saved. So, it's not unlikely that he can do what I'm saying in the long run if he doesn't focus on it.

[Wapfika]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Philippines right? This kind of story is not new and there’s a case which the son use his parents house title as collateral for gambling worth million pesos that he loss all in a single night of gambling.

Rehabilitation is the best approach on this kind problem because people with addiction usually have the tendency to become violent so confronting them might cause a huge problem. You should not pay on all the loans that he acquire because he will just keep doing that once the loan is settled since he might come back again.

The guy is already away in hiding. It’s best to not accept him until he finally to go on a rehab.

[slapper]

People, this is horrible. The beast of gambling addiction kills lives financially and emotionally. Borrowing, pawning, stealing, and suicidal threats show your brother-in-law is struggling. Rehab is a terrific start, but only a start. Rebuilding trust is crucial. You and your wife must create clear rules with consequences. He must commit to improving before receiving financial aid

Giving him money without a plan feeds his addiction. Tough love period. Remove the financial aid till he changes. He must take responsibility for his actions, not just cease gaming. Prepare for his return. What support system will exist? Without direction, relapse is possible. Long-term fight, not fast fix. Prepare for hauling

[yahoo62278]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

Well, I would let the guy go and hope he stays gone. Pretty cowardly of him to run away over less than $300. If small problems like that make him run off then what kind of life or marriage will he ever have? He will just run off everytime life gets hard. This is not a solution that leads to a happy ending.

Realistic solution would be you guys can choose to pay the debt for him and let his wife move in with you. When the guy decides to try to come home, don't let him. Tell him to stay away until he changes his ways. Then he has some decisions to make.

[Cryptoprincess101]

~ Snip ~

Very sad story, I tell people that the worst thing that can happen to anyone is being addicted to gambling or drugs because every efforts by your friends, families and other relatives to take you out of that situation will all prove abortive because even when you decide to quit due to advice and counsel that you have been given by people who truly care about you, a time will come when you will find yourself going back to those things again because addiction looks like something that is being mixed in the blood vessels such that it can never leave not matter how you try. I have seen a gambler empty everything in his house, sold his wife's dresses just to gamble even attempted to sell his house if not that his wife's family intervened the man would have been homeless so just like we keep advising ourselves here, never allow your gambling habits get to an uncontrollable state such that even when you don't want to continue, another part of you will advice you to continue.

[Assface16678]

Well, this kind of story is very common in gambling addict stories. Someone will steal money from either their parents or friends in order to continue gambling but end up losing it, and everything is messed up. The thing is, no matter what we do, we can't stop and control other people, even our family members. But will we surrender to helping them change or stop their addiction? If you know that he or she could cause trouble in your family, will you just abandon them instead of helping them? In sad reality, the answer is that most families will choose to abandon their family member who is addicted to gaming, even though we can't blame them because maybe that person caused too much trouble in the family. But if we just let them be themselves, then it might get worse. So choose or become more responsible for your family member just in case they are undergoing gambling addiction or any addiction.

[Baofeng]

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

The only solution here is to go to rehab, there is no amount of persuasion and talk to this person to change and make a U-turn. However, as you have said, he is now missing, but once he goes home again, then at least some family members will have to talk and some form of intervention.

But I don't know in our country, there could be a lot of rehabilitation facilities but it can cost money as well if you enter him. But at least that is the only way for him to stay away from gambling and maybe it will really help him a lot. There will be a lot of time for him to think it over while he was in the rehab.

[rachael9385]

Op you confused me entirely both grammar and the story. The story has no meaning and no clear understanding. So now what are you trying to say here? He collected all those money for gambling? I don't think so because from your narrative you said after he has collected all the money, he was resting for sometimes and that shows that he is not a gambling addict because if a gambling addict got such amount then he would have flooded the gambling industry. Or is it that he use the money to pay gambling debt?
But if I will advise you what to do, it is better for you people not to give him money again and if it is possible proclaim in the community that nobody should give him money again and I think that can go die a long way to reduce his gambling habit if really he is an addict.

Well I do understand what op is saying, someone who's related to his wife borrowed money from some people and he used the money to gamble and then still lose it, now he doesn't have money to pay back and he ran away, so he's wife will be the person who's going to pay back those money 13,000p.
However if someone that's related to me did something like this I wouldn't care to pay rather I will find the person and he will will pay by him self. Those people that are addicted to gamble always run away with people's money because they don't have money to pay back after losing the ones they borrowed from people. the reasons why I would not pay the money is because if I pay it will look like I am in support and next time he will collect more money and gamble because he has someone who's paying for him.

[Zigabel]

You have mentioned the problem and the possible solution OP, the guy in question needs help and proper rehabilitation so he can stop if not like you have rightly stated, he's going to continue to cause more harm and problem to the family and then he will end up making the family spend money on clearing debts which they shouldn't have ordinarily taken care of at this time and it might not stop any soon except the family takes the action of fixing the issues with that guy unless he's not going to change he will only take occasional breaks whenever the heat is much on him like this and then he will come back again and still become a problem to the family after every break interval.

A professional help either in rehabilitation centers or therapy would help him a lot but it's not cost free but then it will be worth every money that will be spent to put everything in place before he becomes so much of a menace to the family than he's already been and will cost the family even much more bigger expenses in the nearest future.

[khiholangkang]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

It's important to gamble when you have income every month or every week to do gambling because logically if you are a gambler but don't have income it will be worse when addiction comes to us, it's very unfortunate for your wife's brother who did such a stupid act because he wanted to fulfill his gambling desires. It is not other than the thought that he can win the gambling and return the money to his opponent when he wins the gambling.
Investment alone needs cold funds to be able to invest healthily and safely, this is gambling taking capital from borrowed money, I think indeed the brother of your wife needs further rehabilitation because he has an impulsive addiction that will get worse if left further.

He will not be gone for a long time, I think he will also inform you in a month or two, because living outside is not as easy as he thinks especially if he does not have the ability it will be very difficult to survive.

[swogerino]

So, just recently a piece of bad news came out to my wife that his brother ran away to the city because he made trouble in their home in the province.
I asked why and she said, it's all about borrowed money and stolen funds from the family.

This is not just once that happened so I really know the reason behind it and it's gambling.
I did understand it before because it's from his own pocket which he made from mango picking which is their business. But that business is seasonal and there will be times when there will be no funds coming in.

What he did: Borrowed 15,000 PHP from a neighbor which is his gambling opponent. Pawned the tricycle (trike) for 12,000 PHP. Stolen 13,000 PHP from the piggy bank of his nephew. And more hidden borrowed small amounts.

Who will pay? My wife (which means my money too) and his sister working in Italy.

What did he do so that his mother would give up where the hidden piggy bank of the nephew is was the unacceptable thing to me. He threatened his mother that he would kill himself if he didn't give it up.

That's when I told my wife that this is a gambling addiction and the brother should be rehabilitated once he goes back. He will just do it over and over again and we will be the ones shouldering all the problems.

Do you guys have other solutions to this kind of problem? Because that's all I can think of. He will probably lay low for a month or two but he will be back to gambling again.

The only solution to such problem involves a complex one and it is made of,first of all to go to the psychologist or the church or whatever entity who can motivate him to stay away from gambling,second he needs after talking to such entity to be convinced to go to a rehab center and stay there for more than a few months,he will have the urge to gamble as it is very difficult to by pass that but in there he will be isolated learning patience the hard way.Third it is the support of all of you,the family who need to stay near to him during his stay in the rehab center.When all these steps are made you can only pray to God and hope for the best.