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Author Topic: People keep asking me to borrow money, some of them for betting  (Read 1275 times)
Frankolala
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May 28, 2024, 02:31:17 PM
 #61

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?
Yea, of course I do. When it comes to lending money and getting it back, you should know that it will not be smooth with everyone. Some persons finds it difficult to pay back loan even when they have the money. You need to avoid lending money to such people. Those who gives back at the right time or with a little delay is understandable. However, if you are a gambler and come to me to lend you money to stake on a bet, I will ignore you because I feel I will not get it back.

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
I lend to female friends more than to males friends, because for a female friend to ask you to lend her some funds, it means that she is badly in need of it. I doubt such person will gamble with it.

Anybody that borrows money to gamble is an addict.

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May 28, 2024, 02:48:43 PM
 #62

When you are lending out money to friends, it is not necessarily a loan but more of a gift. So keep that in mind if you ever wish to become a loan shark. If yes, you need to stop gifting others and be strict when it comes to your money.

Most gamblers have the habit of acquiring money in order to gamble on it. Just like a drug or alcohol addict who will attempt to do the same to fund their addiction. Unless you follow up your strict "No" they will continue to nibble at you.

Gender does not matter, an addict in a addict, the first step to stopping them is denying them the money.

R


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May 28, 2024, 02:55:25 PM
Merited by Forsyth Jones (1)
 #63

Hey, what a coincidence
Just yesterday I read an interesting article where the head of a company mentioned the increase in the number of salary advances and found out that it was for the employees to gamble  Cheesy
He even shared a video

Here's the link of the article, but it's in Portuguese, I didn't find any article in English because it happened in Brazil: LINK HERE


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May 28, 2024, 03:16:03 PM
 #64

It sounds bad and not a welcome idea to lend money to a gambler for them to gamble.

A few months back, I heard a discussion of someone complaining about how he came to the rescue of a gambler addict, after not getting their phone not to be seized by a gambling agent.

It happens that the gambler addict is fond of betting with the whole money in their possession, even staking with their phone on bets. After everything, their family members will come to their rescue to settle their gambling bills.

On that fateful day, the gambler addict staked their phone as usual, which they lost to. Their family members refuse not to bail their phone out, and the gambling agent is at a side talking about selling the phone for money soon. The gambler addict had of this, was begging and crying in the process of who to help him out, which nobody did except the guy who chose to help out, who the gambler addict begged a lot, to help him out and would pay him back soon.

Could you believe that the said gambler addict hasn't paid back his borrowed money and he's still gambling up to date without thinking of stopping or trying to pay back his borrowed gambling money.

Currently, the guy who lends money to the gambler addict is bittered not because of the lent money, but because of the steady involvement of the gambler addict who he thinks has helped from not lose his phone completely to the gambler agent.

R


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May 28, 2024, 03:38:18 PM
 #65

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

I had this same experience with friends, workmates, and relatives. They borrow these small amounts on different occasions and tend to 'forget' that they borrowed something. They even go so far as to gaslighting me stating that I should just let it go since it's just a small amount that won't hurt the bank. I let it pass sometimes, but seeing that these same people post their wins from the casino or sometimes even live stream how they play is just really something that icks me.

Since then, I avoided lending money to everyone including my relatives. My line of reasoning is you wouldn't get into that situation if you had sorted your finances. I understand that there are people out there who are really borrowing because they genuinely need it, but my experience on these people who just gambled what they borrowed and forgot what they owed pushed me to become heartless when it comes to such situations.

It's best to not show wealth to everyone and keep a low profile in order to not get bugged by these people borrowing money. I'm better off looking like a broke man in their eyes rather than someone who has the money that they can constantly ask to borrow from when they don't have anything in their pockets.
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May 28, 2024, 03:51:50 PM
 #66


Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!
You tell this person that you are not lending to people to be used for betting or if it's not for an emergency they will keep doing that if you keep lending people, lenders are like that they spread how generous you are

Quote
Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
It is okay to lend to your relatives it's your relatives are part of your bloodline but if it's from a friend better think twice because there is a saying the easiest way to lose a friend is to lend him or ask him to lend you, if they cannot pay you on time they usually stop communicating and ignore you, give him what you can afford to give so you will retain your friendship.

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May 28, 2024, 03:51:59 PM
 #67

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?
I do not borrow people the money that I can not give them. So I do not feel disappointed if the borrower is not able to pay the money. But I will expect the person not to come to borrow money again.
I like this pattern myself because you will know who you are dealing with and also take caution of next time, but no matter how you try to avoid this still you will still fall for it, because sometimes relative are the one doing this kind of bad behaviour, i don't know your community but mine if you decide not to help them they will quickly report you to the elders and it's a huge problem because they will start saying you have money and you don't want to help your brother, and in the eyes of all you will be seeing has bad person.

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
Quote
I treat female like male if it is money.
 to my own view i don't think female can be treated like man even in times of lending money because female are very dangerous in times of allegations and also temptation, having issues with female if not your sister many translate it to something else, the only thing i will advise is to stay away from them if it comes to involvement of money, or if you wish to lend them make sure the amount can be negligible if she couldn't return it.

R


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May 28, 2024, 03:59:59 PM
 #68

Yes why not, if I know him/her personally well then I will have no doubt to lend him some money regardless what the reason is.
The opposite situation may also happen when I need the help from relatives/friends, so it will be a mutualism symbiosis.
As long as I trust him/her and he/she trust me, money wont be a big deal but for sure the amount should be reasonable as well.
However, something unexpected may happen so we should also ready for the worst case, because of money we may lose our friends/relatives Smiley

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May 28, 2024, 04:02:38 PM
 #69

Feeling bad about lending money to them, of course we must feel especially when friends or relatives are in need, as long as it is not for gambling and the person can be trusted then I will lend small money.
No one is against borrowing money to friends or family. As a matter of fact, people will always need help and it is our duty to help as much as we are comfortable doing. But a situation where what might seem like help is not actually a help, then caution must be applied. It is like a figurative statement, a paradox where they say that "IMF is the doctor that heals by killing the patient", which actually mean that IMF loans does not help countries but put them in deeper mess. I don't want borrowing money to my friend turn out to like putting them in deeper mess.

Like I always say, gambling should not be made with borrowed funds because the chances of success is very low. I have done it before and it didn't work; many people have equally done it yet same result. You end up deeper into debt.

R


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May 28, 2024, 04:16:12 PM
 #70

When you are lending out money to friends, it is not necessarily a loan but more of a gift. So keep that in mind if you ever wish to become a loan shark. If yes, you need to stop gifting others and be strict when it comes to your money.

Most gamblers have the habit of acquiring money in order to gamble on it. Just like a drug or alcohol addict who will attempt to do the same to fund their addiction. Unless you follow up your strict "No" they will continue to nibble at you.

Gender does not matter, an addict in a addict, the first step to stopping them is denying them the money.
Lending money to those who are addicted to gambling, of course they will use the money we give them to gamble and I agree with you that we have to be firm in financial matters if we don't want financial problems with our friends.

Someone who is addicted to gambling will of course behave the same and there is no difference between men and women and choosing not to give them money is certainly the right choice, because once we give it then it will become a habit for them and the habit of a gambling addict is of course them. will be lazy in doing their work and all they can think about is gambling in the hope of getting a big win on the bets they play.

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May 28, 2024, 04:17:09 PM
 #71

OP bringing this topic up to this gambling board I don't know if your intention is to state that the risk of borrowing people money with the possibilities of being paid back is as risk of gambling!

If YES then I think you are only trying to help them since you don't impose interest agreements on them at the returns of the borrowed funds and I would ask you to stop borrowing them if they don't have the remorse to payback at when due without you putting pressures on them.
They are just being ungrateful.

I would rather prefer to  willingly ask you to go with such little amount you are asking me to borrow you. Although it depends how much it is and my network.
And if finds out that they are being fond of it then it is assumed they are indirectly taking advantage of me then I will stop it totally.

Infact, I would rather decide to gamble with such little afford amount of money to gamble in the casino where there is a potential of yielding more money even though it is a game of luck. it is better spent that way than acting like a fool to them usually coming to borrow and no paying back and not interest to be profited after I struggles to get back my money.

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May 28, 2024, 04:29:58 PM
 #72

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?
I lent money but it was to my friends relatives and people around my house. But I am a real example of how hard it is to lend my money and get that money back. I have to lend money and ask them for money in such a way that it seems like I am begging them like a beggar. But I never lent money to anyone to gamble, I lent money to people who were in danger. However, if people lend money in case of danger, people forget it and cannot pay it on time, due to which later they don't want to lend money to people on their own. I have loaned money to some of my female friends but same experience they also refused to give me that money. There are some girl friends who have not been able to repay some of the borrowed money till now.

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May 28, 2024, 05:29:05 PM
 #73

You should not tolerate people asking you to lend them if it is for betting because it is a game of chance and there's a possibility that they cannot pay you on time.

I once lent to a guy and I did not know that he was going to use to gamble his promise was to pay me within a week but it took him three months and he paid me after he won, so if you are going to lend a gambler you will need to wait for him to win big money before he will pay you.

And besides you are supporting his addiction if you are giving a loan to a gambler.

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May 28, 2024, 05:42:17 PM
 #74

Be it Male or Female, I cannot borrow you money for the purpose of gambling. That will be very dumb of me, and a very stupid ideology from both parties. 
Giving is subjective, you can borrow money to a liability which you ain't sure if you are getting your money back within the stipulated time because the money is not put to use creatively.
You do not have to go against your own will just to please some else wether family, friends, co-worker,etc.
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May 28, 2024, 05:49:07 PM
 #75

Hey, what a coincidence
Just yesterday I read an interesting article where the head of a company mentioned the increase in the number of salary advances and found out that it was for the employees to gamble  Cheesy
He even shared a video

Here's the link of the article, but it's in Portuguese, I didn't find any article in English because it happened in Brazil: LINK HERE
For employees of this or any other company who practice this, this can really be considered an illness and should seek treatment. If it were to pay a debt or 'cause it really need it, the advance would be valid. Unfortunately, not everyone is in good financial health, but some of these people don't borrow money that they cannot pay back later.


I had this same experience with friends, workmates, and relatives. They borrow these small amounts on different occasions and tend to 'forget' that they borrowed something. They even go so far as to gaslighting me stating that I should just let it go since it's just a small amount that won't hurt the bank. I let it pass sometimes, but seeing that these same people post their wins from the casino or sometimes even live stream how they play is just really something that icks me.

Since then, I avoided lending money to everyone including my relatives. My line of reasoning is you wouldn't get into that situation if you had sorted your finances. I understand that there are people out there who are really borrowing because they genuinely need it, but my experience on these people who just gambled what they borrowed and forgot what they owed pushed me to become heartless when it comes to such situations.

It's best to not show wealth to everyone and keep a low profile in order to not get bugged by these people borrowing money. I'm better off looking like a broke man in their eyes rather than someone who has the money that they can constantly ask to borrow from when they don't have anything in their pockets.
When a person rarely borrows, it doesn't bother me so much, as we can simply not lend, but I know people who ask me directly, even though I say I can't lend, this is clearly a sign of unpreparedness and poor financial management, these people should look for It helps to learn about personal finance, but here people are indoctrinated into spending more than they earn, unfortunately.

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May 28, 2024, 05:58:16 PM
 #76

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

I have a soft spot to people who are needing help and asking me to lend them money for an important stuff so I always lend them whenever I have money in me.  I will reject them if their reason is gambling though.

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?

I do not discriminate against any gender whether they are female or male, as long as I have the funds to help them, I do not hesitate in extending my hand.

People who borrowed money will not say they will use it for gambling.  They surely come with a good reason (to the point of lying) so that a person will have difficulty rejecting their request

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May 28, 2024, 06:30:10 PM
 #77

If someone ask me for money and I can verify it is for gambling, I will humbly refuse because I know I will not be helping such fellow. Imagine the trauma of borrowing money and losing it all to gambling only to be in debt, that is compounded pain for him so I will not want to share in the blame. It is nearly impossible to win gamble with borrowed funds because the moment you realise the money is not yours, your psychology is already messed up. The best approach is always to gamble with personal money and such amount that one can afford to lose. Even gambling company advise their customers to gamble responsibly.
Same here.it is not worth the help we lend to them as we all know that gambling has nothing good to being except for loses. Borrowed money is much more risky than using your hard earned money so yeah I will surely refuse if someone will borrow money for gambling purposes because I do not tolerate that kind of thing.



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May 28, 2024, 06:33:13 PM
 #78

It has become increasingly common for friends and not-so-close "friends" to come and ask me to borrow money. I don't usually ask for the purpose, but some ask me because of betting at online houses.

The last time I lent money to a colleague, who I hadn't had much contact with other than at work for a short period, it was with great difficulty that I got the money back.

I don't know where people get the amount of money they think I have, they must think I look like a bank...

Who likes having to borrow money? Unless you are a loan shark and lend with collateral where the risk is almost zero, why lend money where you end up with a loss? 'cause in addition to no one paying you with interest, most never pay you on time, at least you will get your money back after repeated charges.

Some people even go so far as to ask me to borrow money for what? to bet!! What a joke. I answer briefly and bluntly that I don't have the money to lend for these purposes!

And the worst thing is that they ask me for small amounts, like $2, 5, 10$... I think that if the person doesn't have that money now, the chances of them getting that money to pay you are low. If the person is in need, it's easier for them to confess right away to see what I can do, because I'm not a bad person.

Do you usually lend money to relatives, friends, etc.? Have you ever felt bad about it, done it unwillingly?

And when they are female friends, do you lend them?


On a norms instead of borrowing or lending families and friends I prefer giving the money to them but nevertheless any one of this category that come to me to lend some amount of money I won't do it cause my first  question would be what the person intend to do with the borrowed money,but luckily for some if they hide the fact that the money was for something else I give it to them but if it's for gambling I give nonear to that.

I said it in a thread like that when a friend visited me and asked for an assistant little did I know it was for gambling,it got me so annoyed,so I frown against lending money to anyone that use the money borrowed for something like this.

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May 28, 2024, 06:42:39 PM
 #79

I don't let anyone borrow money, especially if it's for gambling purposes.  It reminds me of a time when my x-gf  asked me if she should loan her cousin money.  I asked her what her cousin was like and why he needed the money.  She told me he was pretty "famous" for not paying his debts and that he often used money to gamble, but that for this time it was "different".  I pleaded with her not to.  Long story short her dad loan him the money, and months later he was months late on his debt, not sure he ever got it back.  Dont loan money to people is my motto.

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May 28, 2024, 06:42:44 PM
 #80

When you are lending out money to friends, it is not necessarily a loan but more of a gift. So keep that in mind if you ever wish to become a loan shark. If yes, you need to stop gifting others and be strict when it comes to your money.

Most gamblers have the habit of acquiring money in order to gamble on it. Just like a drug or alcohol addict who will attempt to do the same to fund their addiction. Unless you follow up your strict "No" they will continue to nibble at you.

Gender does not matter, an addict in a addict, the first step to stopping them is denying them the money.

However, you have to keep yourself mentally stable, lending your money to friends is a high risk thing, especially if your friend is a gambling addict, the percentage of your money being returned is only around 1%, just stay away from people like this, don't dig your grave because you feel bad about your friendship with them, stay away and live in peace.



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