Is it Ideal for parents to demand rent from their child who stays with them?

[Jody.Drummer]

Spoiling children by always giving them what they want is wrong, and giving them money continuously is not a good thing, even though it is natural for parents to do so. Spoiling children too much will make them too dependent on their parents, which will certainly affect them as they may dare to do anything because it is not their ambition but because they think their parents can solve any problems that may arise.
It is better for children to be independent, as this is not only good for them but also makes their parents proud.

Spoiling children by fulfilling all their desires will make children always be in the wrong circle, they will always depend on their parents because they assume they will always be there to solve their problems, the negative effect is that children do not have their own ambitions. It is not wrong for parents to want to give the best to their children, but there needs to be limits and discipline. They should be taught to live independently so that they are better prepared to face challenges in life, this method can help them become stronger and more confident people. When parents give them the opportunity to face challenges and solve problems on their own, it will help them develop good skills and character.

Yes, as I said before, it is like that, and it is true what you said, it is not wrong to give something or fulfill the wishes of the child but behind that there must be limits or discipline as you said, because if there are no limits then the possibility is great that the child will continue to depend on his parents even though he is already at an adult age. Yes, of course they must be able to be independent because there is no way that when they get married they will still depend on their parents, which in my opinion is beyond the concept of independent living. But in my neighborhood there are some people who are married but still depend on their parents, so maybe that is their best choice too.

[blockman]

In a family oriented house, this is a normal thing that whoever is still in the house of their parents. They're obligated to contribute in every way they can. Be it a house rental but that will be spent for utilities and other important stuff in the house. Parents who does this isn't demanding but teaching their kids to be more responsible so that they're not going to be dependent on their parents and can count on themselves. That's teaching them the reality of life that it's not always going to be their parents that shall pay all of the bills especially when they leave all by themselves.

[junder]

The idea is for the child to understand that their parents love them, raise them, and educate them, but that as a member of the family, they also have responsibilities and obligations, and that later in life, they will have to pay for many of the things that their parents give them for free. It is important to make sure that the child understands and realizes this reality, rather than living with their parents at their expense until the age of 40+, as sometimes happens...

I agree with you, it's like the law of nature when children grow up they have to pay for the goodness of all that their parents have done to them, this is more on the awareness of the child as well I myself am also working on it because I want my parents to be able to live comfortably from the results of my hard work and produce. I myself now want to live separately from my parents but the problem is that they are old enough so I am trying to take care of them.

[DrBeer]

The idea is for the child to understand that their parents love them, raise them, and educate them, but that as a member of the family, they also have responsibilities and obligations, and that later in life, they will have to pay for many of the things that their parents give them for free. It is important to make sure that the child understands and realizes this reality, rather than living with their parents at their expense until the age of 40+, as sometimes happens...
 

Yeah, that’s just one amongst several ways of parents prepping their kids for what’s ahead. But the truth is that there should be some sort of age limit for this kind of preparation, some parents feel like as long as their kids have started earning some money, they should automatically start paying rent or share in the bills, regardless of their age, which in my opinion isn’t the right way to go about this.

This is probably also an extreme. It is wrong to demand that a 5-year-old child pay for housing, just as it is wrong to support a child until the age of 45!
There is no ideal advice, specifying the exact age of the child, family income, or child's income, when to start such a conversation.
But you shouldn't shield your child from understanding how adult life and commodity-money relations work. As I have already said, a child should not think that everything they want should be fulfilled immediately. They should understand that in order for them to have something, their parents have to work, and it is for their work that they receive money, which they then use to pay for housing, utilities, food, children's things, and toys.
  And here you need to smoothly lead up to the idea that being independent, including financially independent, is good and convenient.
 

[DiMarxist]

I don't see anything wrong here at the first place a child who is working should be able to support the parents and keep the house going. You can't be working and earning money without contributing to the house were you stay , depending on your parents when you still work is not a good quality it makes you look greedy and selfish. Maybe the daughter were not contributing anything to keep the house running that must have necessitated the mother to take her to court demanding her to contribute a monthly stipend.

[GiftedMAN]

I don't see anything wrong here at the first place a child who is working should be able to support the parents and keep the house going. You can't be working and earning money without contributing to the house were you stay , depending on your parents when you still work is not a good quality it makes you look greedy and selfish. Maybe the daughter were not contributing anything to keep the house running that must have necessitated the mother to take her to court demanding her to contribute a monthly stipend.

If it's about support when the father and mother is not capable of taking care of the rent then fine they can ask for the support of their children they may not even need to ask the children should know when they need assistance and he should be able to render them the assistance but in a situation where the both parents are capable of taking care of the rent then it's not good to demand for their children to pay rent. If the parents are ok financially they should nut expect their children to contribute to anything unless they do wish to do so.

[DrBeer]

The idea is for the child to understand that their parents love them, raise them, and educate them, but that as a member of the family, they also have responsibilities and obligations, and that later in life, they will have to pay for many of the things that their parents give them for free. It is important to make sure that the child understands and realizes this reality, rather than living with their parents at their expense until the age of 40+, as sometimes happens...

I agree with you, it's like the law of nature when children grow up they have to pay for the goodness of all that their parents have done to them, this is more on the awareness of the child as well I myself am also working on it because I want my parents to be able to live comfortably from the results of my hard work and produce. I myself now want to live separately from my parents but the problem is that they are old enough so I am trying to take care of them.

I completely agree with you—we are all indebted to our parents who gave us LIFE, raised us, and helped us become who we are today. My opinion is that once we become independent, we are OBLIGATED to help our parents by ensuring they have a comfortable old age. When we were helpless, they were our support. Unfortunately, over the years, our parents become as helpless as we were in childhood, which means we must take care of them!

[nara1892]

The question now is “is it wrong to help ease the burden of your parents who have given birth and raised you from childhood”? I don't think there is anything wrong, it is part of being filial piety to parents, so if for example our parents' financial situation is not good then it is an obligation for a child to help ease their burden, especially if for example the child is already working and has his own income.

[hopenotlate]

In my opinion, family relationships are completely unrelated to economic dynamics: in families, we support, help, and sustain one another; those who have more to give should do so if the other needs it and when they need it. The opposite could happen, and often in the country where I live, due to pension reforms and rising inflation, parents are no longer able to meet their basic needs once they stop working. Therefore, in my opinion, it should be the children who provide where necessary.

In the specific case of the article mentioned in the opening post, I might consider asking for a certain monthly rent payment with the sole purpose of helping my son understand what it would mean to live alone and fend for himself, but I would set aside those payments to give them back to them in full the day they decide to move out.

[Jateng]

In my opinion, this is a wonderful example of how to raise a child properly and help them understand how the market works, what money is, what responsibilities are, and what work is! I am sure that this makes life much easier and simpler in this world, the financial world!
And of course, I agree that children should not be spoiled with money just like that, because it creates a habit, a very bad habit. Then they will simply demand, rejecting the idea of “go earn it yourself.”

It's important for parents to teach the upcoming young generation how to deal with personal problems.Some parents out of pampering do not inform their children about the coming responsibilities. Most parents try to solve every problem of their child themselves.In this way the child is not properly corrected and such children start to dominate others and try to live their lives without working hard.You are right.There is a certain age when a child is raise that parents should protect him from every problem. after this age parents should teach the child the true value of money and teach him skills so that he does not run away from responsibility in the future.

[bakasabo]

It's important for parents to teach the upcoming young generation how to deal with personal problems.Some parents out of pampering do not inform their children about the coming responsibilities. Most parents try to solve every problem of their child themselves.In this way the child is not properly corrected and such children start to dominate others and try to live their lives without working hard.You are right.There is a certain age when a child is raise that parents should protect him from every problem. after this age parents should teach the child the true value of money and teach him skills so that he does not run away from responsibility in the future.

That is a real problem today. Parents overprotect their children. Parents turn into a slavery on freewill to make everything for their masters children, but then shock them with "you are an adult now, you are on your on from now". That is very wrong to do. They expect children to act like adults, be responsible, when during their first 18 years they have never taught them that. Then children get broken logic, and parents, being used to serving to their children, continue to do that even after 18. As a result we have adults who live with their parents and on their parents money until 25-30 years.

[Accardo]

That is very wrong to do. They expect children to act like adults, be responsible, when during their first 18 years they have never taught them that. Then children get broken logic, and parents, being used to serving to their children, continue to do that even after 18. As a result we have adults who live with their parents and on their parents money until 25-30 years.

I don't see anything wrong with that if the child works on something or builds a career that would sustain them years later in life, it's a win win, to have parents who support you even when you earn money. Family isn't meant to be tough, we're to love our offsprings, I get to see youths who work and earn, but their parents never stops funding them every month, this kids end up living a much happier life on the financial level. I don't get to understand why some parents stop giving alms to their kids because they're adults.

[DrBeer]

In my opinion, this is a wonderful example of how to raise a child properly and help them understand how the market works, what money is, what responsibilities are, and what work is! I am sure that this makes life much easier and simpler in this world, the financial world!
And of course, I agree that children should not be spoiled with money just like that, because it creates a habit, a very bad habit. Then they will simply demand, rejecting the idea of “go earn it yourself.”

It's important for parents to teach the upcoming young generation how to deal with personal problems.Some parents out of pampering do not inform their children about the coming responsibilities. Most parents try to solve every problem of their child themselves.In this way the child is not properly corrected and such children start to dominate others and try to live their lives without working hard.You are right.There is a certain age when a child is raise that parents should protect him from every problem. after this age parents should teach the child the true value of money and teach him skills so that he does not run away from responsibility in the future.

That's right—strong parental care and protection are necessary while a child is helpless. But that doesn't mean that such care should be provided constantly. If you shield a child from reality and solve all their problems for them, at best they will grow up to be a very weak person who is ill-equipped for real life. At worst, they will become a cruel egoist.

[Antotena]

I don't see anything wrong here at the first place a child who is working should be able to support the parents and keep the house going. You can't be working and earning money without contributing to the house were you stay , depending on your parents when you still work is not a good quality it makes you look greedy and selfish. Maybe the daughter were not contributing anything to keep the house running that must have necessitated the mother to take her to court demanding her to contribute a monthly stipend.

If the family have the means to make provision for the rent, I don't think a responsible parent will say they should allow pay for their house rent because before he or she was born, they have been doing it before then and now it's not going to stop them now. However, if they don't have it, then it's their child responsibility to support their parent but the child must not be put under pressure even though they are working and earning money than their parent.

I think it's basic sense to support your parents whether they have or not. I don't have parents that will put everything on me that I must do something to support them but I will give them all I have because of what they have done for me as a parent. They don't have their names written on the forbe list as richest people, the one the  have they supported me financially and gave me one of the best education I could afford and I'm very proud of it, that's why I can give them support when it's necessary.

[bakasabo]

That is very wrong to do. They expect children to act like adults, be responsible, when during their first 18 years they have never taught them that. Then children get broken logic, and parents, being used to serving to their children, continue to do that even after 18. As a result we have adults who live with their parents and on their parents money until 25-30 years.

I don't see anything wrong with that if the child works on something or builds a career that would sustain them years later in life, it's a win win, to have parents who support you even when you earn money. Family isn't meant to be tough, we're to love our offsprings, I get to see youths who work and earn, but their parents never stops funding them every month, this kids end up living a much happier life on the financial level. I don't get to understand why some parents stop giving alms to their kids because they're adults.

Then we go back to our story. It is fine if a child earn and lives with parents, if he shares expenses they do. If he lives in position as "your money is our money and my money is my money", then it would be selfish and wrong. As to parents who give money to a child who works, dont you think its wrong also? If my parents who are about to retire would start giving me pocket money, I would feel ashamed and feel discomfort.

[Prosofina_G]

Hmmm, is a very big question, anyway to me it really depends on the kind of parents that you have.
There are some parents that will be very happy to see that there son or daughter is now a working class, not only that they feel so happy
Seeing him or her coming home after closure of work.

While some parents thinks there daughter or son are really mature to be on their own rather than staying in there parents home or house,
Therefore using a tactical measure to make them feel they are visitors in their fathers house by asking them to pay rent
I think it is a good one to demand rent from your son or daughter who are already working.

[Paparazzi22]

For a child to stay in his father or her mother house means the child doesn't have a job or is not up and doing (financially stable) so if it happens to be like that I see no reason why the child should pay rent.. another question would be ask where should the child get the money to pay the parent as rent while he or she is not working..
   In summering what I'm trying to say is in this modern era no child is willing or ready to live with there parents because everyone wants his or her privacy...and if the child is probably working he or she will rent a house somewhere else and won't stay with there parents that's all

[MissNonFall9]

My question stems from a 2023 article of a woman who charged her daughter $75 per month to add to their bills since she now works.

Generally, working-class children who stay with their parents do so to be able to save up enough money to start a fresh journey in life. Although it's still cheap to contribute to the bills like paying rent, buying groceries, etc compared to when they live outside their parent's house. But, young people like the girl in the article find it outrageous. Going through the article I saw responses from parents who admit they do the same thing. Do you think it's fine as a parent to demand bills such as rent from your working-class child because s/he stays in your house?

https://www.boredpanda.com/daughter-angry-mom-increases-contribution-to-bills/

N/B: this thread is not exactly what happened in the article above.

Every person in this world has a specific function and a certain sense of responsibility. If we talk about it from that perspective, up to a certain time the child has a sense of responsibility towards his parents and after a certain time, the child has a sense of responsibility towards his parents. When a child is a minor and does not have a job, that is- until employment is created, the parents will take all their responsibilities and on the other hand, when the child becomes independent and the parents become old, the child should take responsibility towards those parents and accept their responsibilities. But that does not mean that that sense of responsibility should be considered as rent or demand rent.

[batang_bitcoin]

I don't see anything wrong with that if the child works on something or builds a career that would sustain them years later in life, it's a win win, to have parents who support you even when you earn money. Family isn't meant to be tough, we're to love our offsprings, I get to see youths who work and earn, but their parents never stops funding them every month, this kids end up living a much happier life on the financial level. I don't get to understand why some parents stop giving alms to their kids because they're adults.

You have a good point, parents duty never stops even if their children have already their ways of living and can earn their own money. That's the unstoppable and unconditional love of parents. It's a forever commitment to their children and they are not asking for anything in return for the love and support they give to them. Whether it's with financial support or just a support system that they need. What you have said is right in all levels that parents will never stop loving their kids and they look at their grown up kids as the same as when they're younger.

[whiteblue]

Of course, it is very natural, especially if the child is already working, at least he should contribute to the family budget so that it remains in accordance with the needs, a child is obliged to give, especially if he brings a wife, he must give in any way, such as in the example of paying rent for his residence, it is still considered very reasonable for parents to ask for it, except if the child is still in school and is still under the responsibility of his parents, he should not be asked for things like that.