Be mindful of who you advices as persistent ignorant also ends in regrets

[taufik123]

if his wife already remind him to withdraw but he ignored it, and she also mentioned "again" it's mean he not learn from his mistake before. He already on gambling addict, and will not accept any advice from anyone anymore. no matter how good someone give him advice he will rejected it. Because wife one of person who have power to stopped him but she unable to stop him because of his ignorance.

Wife in this context is even more ignorant than him in my opinion. A good wife should tell her husband to stop, at least mine has told me several times to stop gambling because you are losing time and some money in order to just make some more money and in the end I have listened to her. I rarely gamble nowadays and it is only to play poker where I have told her that it is a game of skill much different from the slot machines that she has seen me playing and for the moment she believes me. Now getting back to the argument, a gambler who is an addict needs help and the first one to give such help is family especially the wife in this case, this type of gambler needs a guidance and the guidance should be from someone who cares for his well-being.

My wife is the main alarm for everything, not just for a gamble because she knows everything about what I play every day.
My wife was also a reminder of what I was going to do and she warned me not to play gambling games that I was addicted to,
just regular games and bets with a predetermined amount of money so that there were no big losses.

I'm lucky to have people who still care about what I'm playing so my wife knows what I'm actually allowed to play and what I should avoid.

And never trust the advice of strangers too much
about gambling and such, because they definitely have the goal of benefiting themselves or to trap others in a riskier gambling.

[Odusko]

We can try our best, pout in more efforts to see that we render the brotherly advise to those around us from how they are gambling, but it is also left to them to decide on what they really want as to how they are gambling, not everyone yields to advice as we know, while we can also admit that some do, because they are subjected to change, but if some never have a reason of learning from their mistakes, they may never take what you're telling them serious for any reason.

What the ops Said is right and in all sense of things we need to apply caution while advising people most especially if those we are trying to advise are family members, that may even senior us in ages but choose to act irresponsibly, so the best thing to do to avoid getting hated for saying the truth is to avoid them, unless they come to you for advise if not never give an unsolicited advice.

[Ultegra134]

Wife in this context is even more ignorant than him in my opinion. A good wife should tell her husband to stop, at least mine has told me several times to stop gambling because you are losing time and some money in order to just make some more money and in the end I have listened to her. I rarely gamble nowadays and it is only to play poker where I have told her that it is a game of skill much different from the slot machines that she has seen me playing and for the moment she believes me. Now getting back to the argument, a gambler who is an addict needs help and the first one to give such help is family especially the wife in this case, this type of gambler needs a guidance and the guidance should be from someone who cares for his well-being.

Perhaps the person in question had already tried it but shut her off, so at least, saving some of the money he had won would be the next priority. Such situations are tough to handle, because sometimes people get aggressive when they're told what to do, words like "again" can become a trigger quite quickly. It's not always necessary to quit gambling, but in this case we're talking about an addict who can't control his emotions and is going to end up along sooner or later. He needs professional assistance and quiting gambling cold-turkey.

[CryptSafe]

From the looks and all you have said, it seems your friend is the type that does not listen or take advice from anybody; they do whatever they want as it pleases them. Those kinds of people are too stubborn and ignorant of the fact that they do not know everything they think they know. They are just naturally stubborn and do not see good in anything someone tells them. They would always want to do what they have in their mind to do, and they do not think divergently to see many reasons why someone said what they say; they are narrow-minded and lack wisdom. If he had listened to his wife, maybe he would not have lost everything to the point of him wanting to commit suicide.
You use wisdom to follow these type of people so as not to conflict with them. In some situations like this, one can just ask them an indirect question to see their response, and from that, you would know the kind of response or reaction you will get when you tell a straightforward idea or opinion that would likely cause a conflict between you both.

[Byebyebtc]

This is something that I in person would have noticed about him before this even happened,
It's best to be very observant especially to your friends, you should know what they are capable of doing, that should make you set some boundaries, and also know how to follow them.

But your friend by the way is addicted, honestly to stop him with this his character will be a big issue and might indeed lead to enmity, except it's done by a professional like a therapist or life coach.

So instead of you doing it rather look for a someone who can do it better

[Cyber_warrior]

Just a piece of advice to those who are concerned about their friends and relatives irresponsible lifestyles periodically those that are perceptive not to adapt to changes (addicts), try as much as you can to examine them before you approaches them when you notice they are out of their minds but taking the wrong decisions.
Some are just comfortable by it and trying to change them could result to serious enemity between you and them if time is not taken.

Whenever I notice any behavior from someone close to me, I don’t care about how the person is going to feel, as long as am saying the right thing, even if the person is going to be angry I don’t care about it, am definitely going to say my mind.

You might be thinking  if you advise him it’s going to cause problem between you and the person, but don’t be surprise that if you talk to the person, he might end up listening to you. You should try and make attempt before you just going to conclude on something.

I was persistent of telling him the reality about the risk of his decision as it concerns gambling but he ushered me out through the door and asked me to stay off from his life.
This morning his wife texted me that her husband want to commit suicide after loosing a historical lost in his gambling history following the incident of his ignorance yesterday.

                  The tittle sums it all.

Since you advised him about it, anything he ends up doing, your mind will be clear because you advised him, he didn’t just listen to you, but if you don’t say anything about it to him just because you feel he won’t listen, if anything happens to him, you going to be blaming yourself for being quiet.

[Kasabus]

Your friend is no longer in his proper mindset, so he should seek medical attention immediately, or else, suicidal will be real this time.

This is the reason why such advices are sometimes not working, because in reality, those people you get to advise are also facing personal issues and problems that you don't have idea either. They need to fix theirselves first before welcoming other other people's advices and suggestions.

The case of your friend is serious mate, try to monitor him most often. Regrets always happen at the end.

[DaNNy001]

There are people who might approach to give advice that would end up fighting you, it is important to study people before you approach otherwise you might end up regretting it...some people have psychological problems, some are in denial and there are some people that are cool with gambling addiction even though it is destroying them..In situations like this don't interfere directly you can call a rehabilitation team to pick up the person

[silpersurfer]

It's common to encounter a gambling addict, and as friends, it's our duty to remind each other. If we've offered advice, but they haven't been able to accept it and instead push us away, that's not a problem. We must also recognize their mental state, which is indeed not well, and we must understand. Advice is certainly good, but if it's given at the wrong time and in the wrong way, it's unlikely they'll accept it.

Personally, when someone is truly beyond their ability to remember and receive advice, I'd leave them to their own devices. It may seem cruel, but when someone's already in a bind, they'll often come to me for advice and become more open.

[r_victory]

I know exactly what it's like to go through that. Those who are addicted, or who somehow have problems with gambling, or anything else, don't think they have a problem. They'll try to justify what they do in some way and may even become aggressive. I learned this lesson by trying to help others; today I no longer give my opinion on certain subjects. My friends are all adults and "know" what they're doing.

[Iroh]

I think your friend is an arrogant person. Someone who thinks he knows it all, can't admit his mistakes and doesn't take advice from people yet, probably quick to give advice himself. I bet having a friend like that, you must be at the receiving end of the stick. Your friend has no respect for you or his wife.
I picture a drowning man when I think about your friend. And he'll drag both you and his wife down with him. I don't think it's of any use advising such a person. He'll quickly let you know how it's none of your business and how you should stay clear from his marital issues.

The person who likely needs some advise is the wife. She should seriously consider saving herself and forging her own path without him in the picture. Perhaps the shock of his wife leaving would bring back his senses, if there was any to begin with.

[alegotardo]

I've never experienced this, but I imagine your pain in trying to help a friend, being aggressively rejected and now seeing the worst case scenario come to fruition.
Unfortunately, this is a classic behavior of gambling addiction in an advanced stage, people get angry when someone interferes, they isolate themselves from the world, they become aggressive and do not accept external opinions, this is the addiction speaking louder.

I think that at this point there is not much you can do, because you are not a mental health professional, so you cannot be his savior, I think that when it reaches that level, then this is something that needs to be dealt with by a professional, if necessary, compulsively even without the addict's consent (if this is allowed in your country)

Consider that he is threatening to commit suicide, I think that is whats best, refer him for professional support immediately, don't confront him directly.

[lixer]

Divorce feels like the fastest reaction but not always the wisest first step. When addiction is involved the behavior usually comes from something deeper than simple choice. If love still exists trying to guide the person toward help makes more sense than abandoning them immediately. Professional support like therapy or medical care gives a real chance for change. Walking away too early can leave both people carrying unfinished pain.

At the same time respect cannot be ignored or excused. Public humiliation and repeated disrespect often signal a long standing pattern not a single mistake. Helping someone only works when they are willing to accept help. You can point out the door and hold it open but you cannot force anyone to walk through it. If every effort fails and the damage continues choosing distance becomes self protection not cruelty.

While you may still love someone, that has nothing to do with divorce. Plenty of people divorce even when they are in love, it is not just about loving someone, it is about having a better life. If your life is worse with someone, and better without them in it, then you are going to get a divorce, love or not.

In this case, if someone is a gambling addict and ruining your life and your economy and your living standards and show absolutely no signs of getting any better, then why stay with them just because you love them? Get a divorce, leave them, find your own house, get a job if you don't have one, then keep making your life better that way. It would be hard at first because divorce is always hard, but it will get easier with time.

[iBaba]

~~~

What the ops Said is right and in all sense of things we need to apply caution while advising people most especially if those we are trying to advise are family members, that may even senior us in ages but choose to act irresponsibly, so the best thing to do to avoid getting hated for saying the truth is to avoid them, unless they come to you for advise if not never give an unsolicited advice.

I have always encouraged myself to be a crusader of truth and good influence within and outside my cycle of friends, so that we can grow and be successful together, give good advice to people around us about gambling danger, tell them how it destroys people's lives gradually without them knowing themselves and how it also destroys your financial growth goals if you don't do it in a properly planned way. Tell them about the downside of it especially as it can make them lose everything they've gathered and sweated when they become addicted and it becomes uncontrollable.

[xenomorfo]

To all gambling addicted persons cares are more of energies that will give him/her more courage to keep up the wayward gambling kind of life, they have become immune to follow the good paths  rather than doing just that which satisfies their emotions without considering the effects.

Once addicted to the extent you don't have an atom of control to yourself, you will began act selfish and be becomes adamant to your responsibilities, careless about your personality, no guilts about all the tough times being gone through.

And when good advice is presented by loved ones, it acts like fuelling a flame with response in angry modes and can even cut good relatives and friends off your life just so that you can have the liberty to live your life as you want even while you are getting destroyed by it.

we always come back to the same old story, how do you personally interpret gambling?
Are you playing this as a game? Great, go ahead and do it. Obviously, i don't think you'll invest a lot of money into it.

Are you interpreting it as a way to make money? Bad, that's the original mistake that also causes the concerns you mention and being immune to good advice.

[Hardyrobust]

I know exactly what it's like to go through that. Those who are addicted, or who somehow have problems with gambling, or anything else, don't think they have a problem. They'll try to justify what they do in some way and may even become aggressive. I learned this lesson by trying to help others; today I no longer give my opinion on certain subjects. My friends are all adults and "know" what they're doing.

There are some people that are addicted to gambling and they know that they have form the habit but quitting is were the problem is. Knowing that you have a problem of addiction may help but it won't make you to stop. Although there are also people that have this problem of gambling addiction to them they are doing the right and it is hard for this kind of people to quit gambling addiction. Our addivce to friends may not really count because they are matured enough to differentiate good from bad but that doesn't mean we won't advise then.

[Text]

this is really heavy & I’m sorry you had to go through this. I hope his wife & family are able to get him immediate professional help. At this point it’s beyond what friends alone can handle. This is a painful reminder that you can care, advise & be present but you cannot force change on someone who refuses to listen sometimes the regret doesn’t come from speaking up but from realizing that even the right words said at the right time are not always enough.

[Maslate]

I know exactly what it's like to go through that. Those who are addicted, or who somehow have problems with gambling, or anything else, don't think they have a problem. They'll try to justify what they do in some way and may even become aggressive. I learned this lesson by trying to help others; today I no longer give my opinion on certain subjects. My friends are all adults and "know" what they're doing.

And the problem is that they find it difficult to accept the truth that they are already addicted and leading in the wrong direction. They don't listen to advice because they believe they are still okay even though they are not. So I take extra caution dealing with this kind of gambler, and I don't talk about financial advice unless they ask for it. What I want is for them to know their real situation on their own. So they are the ones who could give a solution.

[Peanutswar]

You did your part that you know whats happening on them and even you want to help you cant do anything about that, a person who are already into gambling and dont want to stop playing is their decision, now if they listen at least you enlighten them up, on the other hand if they dont listen to you now its on them. Not all person deserved to get help at the first place if they dont want either.

Verily I understood her point because I have encountered same experience with my wife and at most I end up regretting if I don't listen to her and in same vein I told my guy to give a thought of his wife's opinion but the dude transferred aggressions on me that I am supporting his wife over what is non of our business.
And he sanctioned me agressively that I should not try to advice him in anyway again especially when it gets to do with his personal decision.

I was persistent of telling him the reality about the risk of his decision as it concerns gambling but he ushered me out through the door and asked me to stay off from his life.
This morning his wife texted me that her husband want to commit suicide after loosing a historical lost in his gambling history following the incident of his ignorance yesterday.

                  The tittle sums it all.

Feel sad that they ended up with that kind of action because not as always gambling is the solution for an easy money and seems they learned they lesson after that now its up to them if they would like to change or still chasing more with the use of gambling.

[Orpichukwu]

If not for the love of family and for the sake of emotional support, that guy would not even deserve any pity from the wife or any form of help from you, who was shown the door because you both have tried to help him, but he claims to know it all, which his actions have led him to a point of no return position. I just hope he learns from this if he ever pulls out from that emotional pain and regret.