‎Is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a big red flag?

[pawanjain]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

I think this does matter. It is important to know if your gonna be partner has any type of addiction whether it be gambling or drinking or anything else.
If it is occasional gambling then I think it can still work out but who would want to marry a person who is completely addicted to gambling and unable to come out of it.
Nobody would want to risk their future with such a person but then again, getting to know if it's just occasional gambling or an addiction is a task in itself.

[Dr.Osh]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

I hope we can be more honest with our partners. In this case, before we actually get engaged, we should first discuss our respective shortcomings... even when we gamble, talk about if we occasionally gamble. If she is really going to be our future wife, then she should be able to accept us, and we should also have the intention to stay away from gambling for our future wife.

[YOSHIE]

‎‎Is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a big red flag?

In my opinion, a situation like that cannot be directly judged as bad or good, for me it depends on the country, region and environment in which we live.

If there is an area where gambling is like a routine of pride and can be considered great, of course we have to say that the fiancé is good and okay.

And conversely, if we live in an environment where it is considered an epidemic or bad thing, of course the fiancé will fall into badness.

In essence, all human activities must be seen from the area and environment in which they live, the good and the bad.

[Localhostspeed]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

What's with the stereotyping with gamblers recently? Is gambling a crime or does is there any red flag to watch out? As far as I know, gambling is what gambling is and there is nothing bad about it. The question you should be asking is it necessary for spouse to know if a person is addicted to gambling or waste so much money in gambling. If you have any of this characters, I think you might want to do some changes before they found out that you have them.

As much as I like to be with anyone regardless of their financial difficulties, I will not like to have a spouse as a gambling addict. There should be limit to things that we do, you can gamble from morning to evening but make sure you have limitations to days you will not gamble. There are days that your screen time should be zero with any gambling activities and don't over spend on gambling if you want to try it, your bankroll should be enough, these are what I think a spouse with gambling knowledge will do.

[qwertyup23]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

The fact alone that he/she gambles is not a red flag. However, if my spouse gambles away our money which is intended for the benefit of the family and in order to meet/pay our daily obligations, then that would be consider as the biggest and reddest flag possible.

Remember, gambling by itself should not be construed as something negative. As long as the person knows their limits, observes financial responsibility, and stops when things get rough, then by all means, they should gamble.

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

I hope we can be more honest with our partners. In this case, before we actually get engaged, we should first discuss our respective shortcomings... even when we gamble, talk about if we occasionally gamble. If she is really going to be our future wife, then she should be able to accept us, and we should also have the intention to stay away from gambling for our future wife.

Remember, if the person gambles but they can still meet their obligations to the family, then that should not be a problem at all. Think of it as a hobby that person engages. If they know when to stop and to pay the required obligations that they are prioritized to, then that should not be a problem in the first place.

[Hispo]

I don't think it is a red flag at all.
Actually, depending on the way she managed to handle her finances, it could've actually a very big green flag.

If my fiance turned out to be a gambler and somehow she managed to keep her finances up, paying for the things she needed and being able to save and invest in the long term, then that would mean she is more disciplined and organized than the average person who also gambles on casinos and bet on bookies.

I would only consider it to be a red flag if she was always broke and asking me for money to do things which would not make any sense, that would imply she is quite comfortable to lie to my face in order to have money to continue to gamble, and a wife which lies comfortably to one is quite a red flag.

[ASloveapg]

When you are getting married to someone you also get married to all their good and bad and their family. You have to help them get out of any bad stuff that they might be clinging on to. The ones who are looking for marriage might want to avoid any possible matches that are into gambling but in case you find it out later, work it out and try to get them off gambling in order to keep the family finances stable.

Because the long term effect on the family and the upcoming kids is going to be bad hence this problem needs to be taken care of seriously.

This is why i don't like marriage, there are all these rules, the family as you say, you get married with its assets. i don't like all these rules at all.
If I'm with someone i want to be only with them, I'm not interested in the side dish.
It worked in my case, and it still works now.

You have spoken my mind completely, personally I never think of getting married just by looking at my wife's property, I even do not expect any any kind of financial support from my wife, I am getting her, this is my biggest achievement, I will never take anything called dowry from her. Rather, I would try to give her even more, expecting anything from her would be far from my thoughts.
But these things are not in everyone, they demand a lot from their wife's father, they want a lot in different ways, and if they cannot give them, they do not get married, I hate all those people.

[KiaKia]

Gambling doesn't equal red flag straight out of the box, I've seen my country people quickly giving you an attitude because you said you are a gambler, they will look you with an evil like eye, as if you are no more a human being and this is wrong.

Don't judge someone because they are gambling, it's not all gamblers that engage in irresponsible gambling, there are actually many people in the world that manages gambling very well.

I can feel at peace if my partner is a gambler, it takes not much to notice if someone is an addicted and reckless gambler,  you will know if they are not responsible as a gambler.

[Leahized]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?

I think this is a big problem. Because in my region, if a person has bad habits, there will be many problems in marriage. There is even a possibility of marriage breakup. And there is no point in gambling. Because in my area gambling is looked down upon the worst. So I think gambling habits should be changed, most gamblers lives are ruined by gambling. So no parent would want to marry their daughter to a gambler. However, each of us should control ourselves, so that no complications arise in the marital relationship.

[acroman08]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?

It entirely depends from person to person. Personally, I don't mind if they are a casual gambler like me, I mean, it'll be hypocritical if I find that a red flag. Anyway, I'd find it a red flag if they are a frequent gambler, what I mean by that is having a gambling session 3-5(meaning, spending several hours per session) times a week, I don't think gambling that much per week is healthy.

[justdimin]

If it's just occasional light entertainment, no problem. But more than that is definitely a big problem.


Check out this report, it clearly shows that the divorce rate of problem gamblers is around 39-65%. And if they are a normal family rather than a gambler it's only around 18%. I think gambling is the biggest cause of marriage breakdown here. Along with this, the financial crisis, loss of trust and neglect are the main shocks here.

I think it's a bigger crime to keep it a secret until after marriage. Compatibility with a partner can be understood by being transparent from the start.

That's not.. as bad as I thought it would be. I would thought it would be majority and a high number. I mean if you are a true addict, you are literally throwing your money away and making your life miserable by "choosing" to be poorer, and losing it all. Someone sticking with you even when you do that makes no sense, you should be divorced and that person could live a much better life.

The fact that some people choose to stay with gambling addicts, even though they are losing it all, is a very weird thing to see. I have a great marriage, been together for 20+ years, and even my wife would divorce me if I lost it all on some bet. Hence, I think the number is not even that bad, 40% is not really that high compared to 20%, considering gamblers are ruining both of their lives.

[Yorubek]

‎Just as the topic implies, I wonder how big a red flag it is, if you find out or your intended spouse funds out that you occasionally still gamble as a habit or gamble as a part time hobby of sort.
Hence the question, is knowing your fiance or fiancee a gambler a real big red flag when deciding to marry them?
‎

I think if a gambler finds out before marriage that his or her future husband or wife has a gambling habit, it is very important to discuss this issue thoroughly. If the gambler gambles occasionally just for fun, it will not create a big problem, but if the gambler is completely addicted to gambling, then it is better not to get married because gambling addiction is very dangerous and will destroy both lives and they will never be happy.

[I_Anime]

It actually boils down on their approach . There are a lot of folks at there who are actually practicing healthy gambling habit , like working with budget knowing when to stop and when to keep going , and prioritizing good risk management.

It can only be issue when it’s affecting the relationship like lead to behavioral change,  especially when you spouse have low self control.