Change ONLY one word in the post above of the iconic novel opening.

[eid]

Lucy was the boffin, a schtupped öyster; verboten porn reject in Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by a maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, and quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[Gleb Gamow]

Lucy was the boffin, a schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject in Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by a maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, and quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject in Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by a maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, and quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by a maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, and quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, and quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the the by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the the that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the the by the fire that raged against the rapist.

[Gleb Gamow]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist.

<Thanks, definitearticles. I've accepted and reversed some of your thes.>

<Others, please strive to be as grammatically correct as possible.>

[definitearticles]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; the pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist.

<You're the welcome, the Gleb. The the's are the bomb.>

[Taras]

The was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; the pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist.

<I for one think all these the's are awesome>

[Gleb Gamow]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; the pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist.

<You're the welcome, the Gleb. The the's are the bomb.>

One of the rules outlined in the OP is that no new words should be added to the exact word count of the original purple prose.

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist.

[Gleb Gamow]

The was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; the pornstar reject the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down the river (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist.

<I for one think all these the's are awesome>

Please use them according the rules outlined in the OP. Thanks, guys.


Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the sadist

[eid]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame by the fire that raged against the gods.

[Gleb Gamow]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Flame lit the fire that raged against the gods.

[eid]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), cackling at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Deranged, lit the fire that raged against the gods.

[armin22]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), raping the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Deranged, lit the fire that raged against the gods.

[Gleb Gamow]

Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional intercourse, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), howlin' at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Deranged, lit the fire that raged against the gods.

<Please, no more raping in case women visit this thread causing flashbacks to occur.>

[armin22]

<Please, no more raping in case women visit this thread causing flashbacks to occur.>

40% of all rapists are women, men get raped too.

But i'll stop

[Gleb Gamow]

<Please, no more raping in case women visit this thread causing flashbacks to occur.>

40% of all rapists are women, men get raped too.

But i'll stop

Stupid me, how the hell did that elude me? Thanks, bud. See how easily shit can be resolved without having a self-moderated thread?


Lucy was the boffin, the schtupped öyster; verboten pornstar rejecting the Lackawanna - siphoning the occasional hookah, like it was lost by the maniac bedlamite on LSD who rode down Pithy River (for it is the BurgerKing that the penny-farthings ride), howlin' at the moon, the quizzically agitating Gleb the Deranged lit the fire that raged against the gods.