Let's insult each other!

[organofcorti]

Bloody Germans.

That's the best kind of Germans.

You some kind of Italian? Bloody Italians. Or maybe goddamn French? Not sure.

Bloody continentals.

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[Kettenmonster]

I see, you prefer to be incontinential!

[bitcats]

incontinent 

[Kettenmonster]

Ok, so you took the pun for a pan which you can´t tell apart from a pen?

[bitcats]

   pun - pan - pen  

[imsaguy]

This family walks into an entertainment industry agent's office.  This agent is known for getting "variety" acts on television and in films.

The agent asks the family, a father, mother, son, daughter, and dachshund, what their act is.

The father says,"it's easier if we show you."

The agent has seen all kinds of odd people, so he gives them the go-ahead.

The father nods to his wife, who spreads a thick plastic sheet on the floor of the office.  The agent starts wondering what is going to happen.

The father counts down from ten, and everyone assumes a position.  Dad is in back, mom is on one knee in the front next to the son, the daughter is holding the dog under her arm.

When the father reaches "one," the family jumps into action.

Dad drops his pants and starts masturbating with both hands.  The mother starts fellating the son.  The daughter squeezes the dog like a bagpipe, then lifts it up and it shits in her mouth.  She spits it in the air and catches it in her mouth, then turns like a sprinkler and spits on dad's chest, the back of mom's head, and her brother's penis.

She then takes off all of her clothing and crab walks under dad and licks his taint while the dog bites at her vagina.

Mom takes off her dress and gets down on all fours.  Her son starts rogering her from behind while she licks the shit from her face.  The dog tugs a HUGE frozen trout from the daughter's vagina and carries it in its mouth to mom.  Mom takes it and shoves it head-first into her bum, until only the tail sticks out.  She then contracts and relaxes her anal muscles to make it look as if the fish is swimming in air, tickling her son's belly.

Dad yells,"Mermaid," and stops masturbating.  He picks up the dog and puts it on mom's back, near her fish tail.  Son does an in-place flip and gets under mom, all while pumping away.  Dad grabs the tail of the fish and rails mom in the bunghole, frozen fish and all.

Daughter climbs under mom and does a Korean gymnastic move where her brother can lick her ass while she nurses on her mom's breasts.  She alternates drinking and squirting milk all over herself, her brother, and the sheet.

Dad starts alternating with mom and the dog, pulling out of one and plunging into the other.  The dog throws up on mom's back.  It eats its own vomit, then throws up again.

Dad pulls out the fish and hands it back to mom, who puts it in her mouth, head first, and deep throats it like a sword swallower.  She opens her mouth and the agent, horrified, can't see the fish.

Dad pulls the dog back, and it starts pounding mom while Dad moves it forward and back.  Daughter goes back and fluffs dad while working her tiny fist into his ass.  She's in up to her elbow when he blows a load in her mouth and on her face.  She spits it back on his chest, and the spit, sperm, and shit run down his chest onto the plastic sheet.

The Son blows his load inside mom at the same time as the dachshund.  Dad puts the dog down and walks off the back of the plastic sheet.  The dog pisses on the mess of shit, sperm, spit, and milk.  The daughter bends backward, grabs her ankles, and rolls in an inverted somersault to the front right side of the plastic sheet.  The dog bites onto the son's scrotum, and the son cartwheels onto the front left side of the plastic sheet, flailing the dog through the air.  Mom does a handstand and backflips into a half-turn, facing dad from the front center of the sheet.

Dad, son, and daughter pick up the sheet and the dog piss, puke, shit, and sperm, dad's sperm, son's sperm, and milk converge into the center.  Dad lifts his end of the sheet higher, and the whole foul mess slides forward, where mom drinks it all.  While dad, son, and daughter move together to fold the plastic sheet, mom turns around to face the agent and takes a knee.

Dad, son, and daughter take a knee behind mom, who spits the frozen trout in the air, head first.  They all throw their arms to the side, and as the dog jumps in the air and catches the fish in its mouth, they yell,"Ta-Da!"

The agent asks them,"What do you call your act?"

"The Bitcats"

Well now that we know what your grandmother did for a living, why don't you tell us what you do.

[Clipse]

Well Reeses hat off to you, I never had to endure such torture in my family.

[Raoul Duke]

I'm just gonna say 1 word: Fuck you.
That is all.

[myrkul]

I'm just gonna say 1 word: Fuck you.
That is all.

In this world, there are three types of people: Those who can count, and those who cannot.

[Clipse]

I'm just gonna say 1 word: Fuck you.
That is all.

In this world, there are three types of people: Those who can count, and those who cannot.

Actually there is also people who doesnt know what counting is, extreme african bush tribes and some amazonian tribes afaik.

[Blaztoize]

Seriously dude? You had to make another one of these threads? I mean, shit, there are already roughly 58 thousand of these posts...

I had to. There are just so many idiots still using the word "dude".

There are also idiots who choose to refrain from using the word "dude" in their vernacular. I'm speculating whether or not I just read the post of one.  

At the time of this posting, it didn't say to insult the person directly above you. 

[organofcorti]

There are also idiots who choose to refrain from using the word "dude" in their vernacular.

Sure, but they still use their "dude " equivalent in whatever language they speak.

I'm speculating whether or not I just read the post of one.  

No, it was all in English. I realise that, given your IQ, English may be hard for you to understand even if it is your first language, but oh well. Half the population have below 100 IQ. You're part of a crowd!

Now pay off whomever it was that wrote that post for you and quieten down like a good boy.

[sadpandatech]

And define which IQ test you're talking about.  On some standardized tests, the mean has risen to 106.

That is in part due to the "No reeses left Behind" initiative.


Anyhows, all your mothers lost your college funds in Bitcoinica!

[imsaguy]

And define which IQ test you're talking about.  On some standardized tests, the mean has risen to 106.

That is in part due to the "No reeses left Behind" initiative.


Anyhows, all your mothers lost your college funds in Bitcoinica!

You're so stupid, even affirmative action couldn't get you into college.

[sadpandatech]

Were you too dumb or uncoordinated to get recruited for a free ride at university?

you're one of those pedophile recruiters arn't you??

#I look really young if I shave.  

[imsaguy]

Were you too dumb or uncoordinated to get recruited for a free ride at university?

you're one of those pedophile recruiters arn't you??

#I look really young if I shave.  

Nah, he's so retarded his hair grows inwards.

[rjk]

Were you too dumb or uncoordinated to get recruited for a free ride at university?

you're one of those pedophile recruiters arn't you??

#I look really young if I shave.  

Nah, he's so retarded his hair grows inwards.

Is the inward growing hair the reason he giggles like a bitch all the time?

[imsaguy]

Is the inward growing hair the reason he giggles like a bitch all the time?

I'd suggest you ask him where his thumb is at when he's giggling.. make sure you're wearing a rain jacket though.

[imsaguy]

Is the inward growing hair the reason he giggles like a bitch all the time?

I'd suggest you ask him where his thumb is at when he's giggling.. make sure you're wearing a rain jacket though.

Christ, four pages in and King Retard can't follow the "insult the poster above you" rule.  Were you dropped on your ass as a child?

wow, someone is a jealous vagina.

[rjk]

Can't see why I could be jealous since you lilliputians all realized I was the only one with game here.

Whose game did you steal, bully?