I'd like to ask for some help.

[adamstgBit]

The point of this thread was to spark some minor discussion into what could be done about my past inappropriate behavior. You have come to add to the discussion and I thank you for that. I wish you the best of luck on future endeavors.

plea temporary insanity and all will be forgiven  

no but seriously you show all the signs of a manic bipolar.
you appeared to have lots of energy even if you didn't sleep proper for weeks or months...
you were 110% sure you were right and everyone else was wrong ( for no good reason )
I'm sure you felt ontop of the world ( b4 you finally crashed )
and after hearing that interview with you and some dude talking about your bet ( can't find it anymore ) I'm sure you were on a mania high.

anyway that's my theory...

[Matthew N. Wright]

The point of this thread was to spark some minor discussion into what could be done about my past inappropriate behavior. You have come to add to the discussion and I thank you for that. I wish you the best of luck on future endeavors.

plea temporary insanity and all will be forgiven  

no but seriously you show all the signs of a manic bipolar.
you appeared to have lots of energy even if you didn't sleep proper for weeks or months...
you were 110% sure you were right and everyone else was wrong ( for no good reason )
I'm sure you felt ontop of the world ( b4 you finally crashed )
and after hearing that interview with you and some dude talking about your bet ( can't find it anymore ) I'm sure you were on a mania high.

anyway that's my theory...

I don't want to make this thread into a speculation thread of my mental health, but I would say that I spread myself too thin, was unrealistic in my expectations and valuation of myself (delusions of grandeur perhaps) and that this experience was inevitable as I was due for a humbling, unfortunate that it was such a public one. I needed to be knocked down a notch, and I still need some time to get back on my feet, but I have not forgotten the experiences of the past year, making a show about bitcoin, a magazine about bitcoin, a service to sell bitcoins through SMS, an attempt at a device to use bitcoins. Looking back I am just disappointed in myself at how much I did, but how little actually got done. I'll apply myself to this first, then I'll start planning ahead more for doing something people can actually use.

[Herodes]

The point of this thread was to spark some minor discussion into what could be done about my past inappropriate behavior. You have come to add to the discussion and I thank you for that. I wish you the best of luck on future endeavors.

plea temporary insanity and all will be forgiven  

no but seriously you show all the signs of a manic bipolar.
you appeared to have lots of energy even if you didn't sleep proper for weeks or months...
you were 110% sure you were right and everyone else was wrong ( for no good reason )
I'm sure you felt ontop of the world ( b4 you finally crashed )
and after hearing that interview with you and some dude talking about your bet ( can't find it anymore ) I'm sure you were on a mania high.

anyway that's my theory...

I don't want to make this thread into a speculation thread of my mental health, but I would say that I spread myself too thin, was unrealistic in my expectations and valuation of myself (delusions of grandeur perhaps) and that this experience was inevitable as I was due for a humbling, unfortunate that it was such a public one. I needed to be knocked down a notch, and I still need some time to get back on my feet, but I have not forgotten the experiences of the past year, making a show about bitcoin, a magazine about bitcoin, a service to sell bitcoins through SMS, an attempt at a device to use bitcoins. Looking back I am just disappointed in myself at how much I did, but how little actually got done. I'll apply myself to this first, then I'll start planning ahead more for doing something people can actually use.

There's always the next day. One day, this will just be a faint memory.

[ElectricMucus]

Make a new account Matthew, this community is unforgiving.

[lebing]

Bravo for coming back and taking your licks like a man.

I would recommend:

1. Startup your entrepreneurial spirit again. Build something that bitcoin needs - you are a smart kid and you will make something of yourself. You cannot talk your way out of this one, you will need to regain your rep through deeds, not words. Channel your energy into something amazing for the community.
2. Keep your scammer tag, dont make a new account. Wear it, so everytime you post you remember how bad things can go wrong if you lose sight of your humility.
3. Become conscious of your urge to troll (when it happens), watch it and let it pass. Do not act on it or on others who attempt to troll you (there are more than a few in this thread).

Best of luck to you

[lebing]

People:

Forgive, but do not forget. The end.


If you want to discuss what he did in the past, move it to the other mega thread.

[adamstgBit]

The point of this thread was to spark some minor discussion into what could be done about my past inappropriate behavior. You have come to add to the discussion and I thank you for that. I wish you the best of luck on future endeavors.

plea temporary insanity and all will be forgiven  

no but seriously you show all the signs of a manic bipolar.
you appeared to have lots of energy even if you didn't sleep proper for weeks or months...
you were 110% sure you were right and everyone else was wrong ( for no good reason )
I'm sure you felt ontop of the world ( b4 you finally crashed )
and after hearing that interview with you and some dude talking about your bet ( can't find it anymore ) I'm sure you were on a mania high.

anyway that's my theory...

I don't want to make this thread into a speculation thread of my mental health, but I would say that I spread myself too thin, was unrealistic in my expectations and valuation of myself (delusions of grandeur perhaps) and that this experience was inevitable as I was due for a humbling, unfortunate that it was such a public one. I needed to be knocked down a notch, and I still need some time to get back on my feet, but I have not forgotten the experiences of the past year, making a show about bitcoin, a magazine about bitcoin, a service to sell bitcoins through SMS, an attempt at a device to use bitcoins. Looking back I am just disappointed in myself at how much I did, but how little actually got done. I'll apply myself to this first, then I'll start planning ahead more for doing something people can actually use.

never forget what happened, and recognize that the entrepreneurial blood in your veins is your gr8est strength and weakness. If you let the need to create / innovate interfere with your basic needs, sleep and relaxation, you will just lose control again. your defiantly not "normal", normal people don't drive themselves crazy working too hard on something they love... keep this in mind.

[Matthew N. Wright]

In talking with some of the people I bet with, I learned of his unfortunate circumstances (which I hope were not due to mining rigs). We all think of this community like a small town, but unlike a small town, we can't directly see what is going on with our neighbor unless that neighbor tells us. I would like to help share the story of one of those neighbors.

http://bitcoinbasics.wordpress.com/tag/crosby/
http://ottawa.ctvnews.ca/7-people-homeless-after-vanier-blaze-1.1108019

[adamstgBit]

In talking with some of the people I bet with, I learned of his unfortunate circumstances (which I hope were not due to mining rigs). We all think of this community like a small town, but unlike a small town, we can't directly see what is going on with our neighbor unless that neighbor tells us. I would like to help share the story of one of those neighbors.

http://bitcoinbasics.wordpress.com/tag/crosby/
http://ottawa.ctvnews.ca/7-people-homeless-after-vanier-blaze-1.1108019

wont his home insurance cover it?

[Matthew N. Wright]

Reminds me of Jimmy Swaggart:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1OXAi7rNMg

Lucky, he gets to blame his mistakes on a boogieman. I have to own up to mine.

[memvola]

You still believe that you did not intentionally hurt other people in order to save yourself. You will do it again.

This.

[cbeast]

Why do you even care if anyone trusts you? I would prefer to not have to be trusted. Admiration and gratitude is enough for me.  

Seriously, Bitcoin offers trustless and transparent fiancial transactions. Use this to model your next venture, and set an example that even Jesus H Christ could not beat.

[Matthew N. Wright]

And how can you continue saying, "I initially intended to teach the community a lesson about trust"?

I initially intended to teach the community a lesson about trust, I did not expect anyone to really take the bets and thus I did not expect to keep any profits. As the bets grew though, I was tempted with greed and I fell into a trap. I flipped back and forth between playing a prank (as it was intended) and actually trying to solve my financial situation (which was becoming dire). I did truly believe that Pirate was going to pay back and I fell for it. I also believe that I intended to pay anyone I lost when it was around 1000 BTC, but as I flip-flopped on my own reasoning and was enjoying the entertainment/trolling so much, I lost control and couldn't stop myself. The attention was just too entertaining and now I will go down in history as the retard who went full retard on the forums-- but I will not go down in history as the guy who ran away from his responsibilities. During the betting process, I hadn't considered people would actually lose money (I seldom plan ahead) and it hadn't occurred to me until shortly after the bet was over that I had actually cost people money/opportunity in large amounts.

[jl2012]

Just disappear if you do not have the ability to pay you debt (even if you have the intention to do so). Some Private-victims did incur extra loss due to your bet, and some may be still struggling to pay their debt in real life. You are bringing false hope to these people and going to hurt them once again. (Just imagine if private comes back and ask for "help" like you.....)

[ErebusBat]

I just want to state that ANYONE who receives money from Matthew from this, I will consider as either an idiot, or a scumbag. An idiot, because you put your money into something as stupid as Pirate or this bet without taking responsibility for your own stupid financial decisions
Or a scumbag because you could easily claim that you made such a bet without proof, and are just trying to steal money from this naive fool

I hear your sentiments, but one of the lessons I learned in all of this is that this community is one obsessed with money (no kidding!) and that when you make a mistake financially, you have to rectify it financially. Some people might take a few bitcoins from me just to give them right back as a test of my intentions. Some might use the opportunity to make a quick buck, whom would otherwise not have paid at all. That's not for me to discern at the moment though, my task at hand is just making sure that I make amends so that I can continue living in a world where actions have consequences. It's an issue of mental health if nothing else. I have to stand up for myself when I am being abused, but also against myself when I have abused others.

Don't you have a google doc of the original bets?

[Rassah]

Just disappear if you do not have the ability to pay you debt (even if you have the intention to do so). Some Private-victims did incur extra loss due to your bet, and some may be still struggling to pay their debt in real life. You are bringing force hope to these people and going to hurt them once again. (Just imagine if private comes back and ask for "help" like you.....)

Did you type that out on an iPhone? 

[jl2012]

Just disappear if you do not have the ability to pay you debt (even if you have the intention to do so). Some Private-victims did incur extra loss due to your bet, and some may be still struggling to pay their debt in real life. You are bringing force hope to these people and going to hurt them once again. (Just imagine if private comes back and ask for "help" like you.....)

Did you type that out on an iPhone? 

Typo? fixed 

[darkmule]

As the bets grew though, I was tempted with greed and I fell into a trap. I flipped back and forth between playing a prank (as it was intended) and actually trying to solve my financial situation (which was becoming dire).

Pretty easy trap for you to get out of, wasn't it? 

If you won, "pay up sucker."

If you lost, "ha ha it was just a joke."

Funny how honest people never end up in such a "trap."

[Matthew N. Wright]

As the bets grew though, I was tempted with greed and I fell into a trap. I flipped back and forth between playing a prank (as it was intended) and actually trying to solve my financial situation (which was becoming dire).

Pretty easy trap for you to get out of, wasn't it? 

If you won, "pay up sucker."

If you lost, "ha ha it was just a joke."

Funny how honest people never end up in such a "trap."

What exactly is an "honest person"? I don't believe I've ever met one. I do believe I had a moment where my responsibilities, amount of trust in me from others, and influence were inproportionate to my experience, professionalism, and maturity, and I did in fact fall for the temptation that I shouldn't have because it was made very easy (see first part of this sentence for reasoning). What I would like to do is no longer put myself in a position where something like that can happen so easily, and just work in areas that don't surround me with money and people throwing it at me hand over fist. What I'd also like to do is not focus on money in my own life as well, and work for the benefit of creating and not just for profits. That was my biggest regret in 2013 and I don't want to let that happen again. I've considered working for free but bills do need to be paid so I think the best thing for me to do is continue working on adjusting my attitude, growing up and reading more than talking. Thank you for contributing your opinions to the topic though, that's why it's here.

[memvola]

What exactly is an "honest person"? I don't believe I've ever met one.

This kind of cynicism is stereotypical. Honest people are hard to come by and if you don't have the highest respect for them and feel attracted to them, you won't see them around you.

I did in fact fall for the temptation that I shouldn't have because it was made very easy

So in essence, if I make it too easy for you to scam me, it's my fault (or at least reduces yours). And you are surprised that you don't see honest people surrounding you? Most peculiar indeed.