Life with a Gambler - Solution!

[xandra]

I never had a hard time to rid gambling since I am not addicted to it but I know one of my friend who got separated with her wife because he cannot control his self anymore to stop gambling their relationship got miserable his wife cannot take it anymore so they decided to give up and now my friend is so pitiful.

[Natsuu]

I don't think gambling should be called a addiction it's not something bad or horrible as it's always is portrayed. Not all our alike, not even our fingers are the same size, each one finds a different passion which keeps him sane so I would call it a passion, i believe each person is sane enough to decide for himself, and so I feel each one can make his own choice without being subject to humiliation.

It's call adiction when someone can't stop gambling and its bad or horrible when that someone lose control and ruin his/her life because of it.

That's right and everything that's too much will harm anyone so if something is go beyond our control then it can be called addiction. I see some friends that ruin their relationship in exchange of gambling and it's really upsetting to see what happened to them. I mean we've always give advice to them yet they're the one who doesn't want to change for good. I feel pity for them tho.

[Fatanut]

Well honestly i don't think that gambling addiction is that hard to get over, for me i think that people get that into gambling because they have nothing else to do, nothing else to keep them busy from spending money on it, if they have friends and family who encourage them to do activities and keep them busy from doing so than i am sure they won't find the time to gamble and they will lose their desire to do it, at least that is what i did for my friend when he started falling to it.

Easy for you to say because you don't have gambling addiction. I think your friend is not in that rabbit hole where gambling addicts fall into every single time. In other words, your friend is not really addicted to gambling that much OR you're friend is secretly still gambling after a good day of spending time with his friends. I think gambling addiction, like any other addiction, is a form of escape. An escape from real world problems that actually do matter. Addiction is a symptom of a much larger problem and these people have addiction because they want to avoid facing those problems as much as they can because they are either too afraid to face it or simply don't have the capacity to face it. They say that all problems can be solved that's why God gave it to us. Yes, it has a logical solution but not everyone has the capacity to take action.

[Gaaara]

You don't need to stop gambling because it cannot be stopped easily and besides it somehow helps (if you're winning) all one need is to control it, I am currently controlling my gambling issue by playing games I don't know why but it games keeps me away from gambling even though I wan't to win money so much. Anyways you can always get your attention into another thing to control it but stopping it won't do its like an unscratchable itch of wanting to gain a big amount of profit.

[bitllionaire]

I never had a hard time to rid gambling since I am not addicted to it but I know one of my friend who got separated with her wife because he cannot control his self anymore to stop gambling their relationship got miserable his wife cannot take it anymore so they decided to give up and now my friend is so pitiful.

Many people are passing through such situation, but it does not mean that they are going to separate from their life partner, they try their best to held their partner to change their gambling habits, but even if they are not going to succeed still they do not like to separate from them, they try their best to manage and spend time with them. I think we should try our best to help our life partner to quit gambling.

[ocid]

most people who gamble sometimes can make it a hobby so gambling can be used as a fun activity because it can try their luck, but it is not worth imitating because every day they can spend their time to do gambling. as much as possible we should be able to limit it and can balance with other activities

[maydna]

My questions are:

Do you have the same problem at home?

If you have this particular problem are you trying to solve it?

If you have solved it, can you share your "personal fight" flow and outcome here?

Thank you!

I don't have any problem at home and I don't think that gambling is a "hidden disease" because as long as we can control ourselves in the gambling, we are not potential to be an addicting person. but if I have this problem, maybe I will find somebody in my family and I will tell that person that I have a problem with gambling and I really need his/her help to solve this. I am sure that if we really want to get out from gambling, he/she will give some help and always give a suggestion to us so we can solve our problem with gambling.

[audaciousbeing]

My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.

That is a pretty amazing story, I mean the part where you mentioned that she eventually quite after that one night.
6 months of no gambling is pretty long for an addict, I hope she doesn't re-lapse. What would you do if she does?

Also be very careful that she doesn't do it behind your back. I've read stories of gambling addicts taking out credit cards in their spouse's name.

I went to the casino a few times after that night when she was late coming home from work, but I didn't find her there. The children told her that sometimes we drive through the casino car park looking for her car. She asked me why I do that. I told her that I'm keeping an eye on her because she promised me that she had quit many times before. Now she spends just as much money on clothes shopping which she couldn't afford before. I'm not sure what I'll do if she relapses. I'm taking it a step at a time for now.

This is really a deep story though because I never believe that anyone should be judged for being a gambler but based on this, I tend to review my stand and maybe there is another level one has to get to, in other to be referred to as a ''Gambler'' because I also play and sometimes I win sometimes I lose but I never got to the point of not being able to control and even when I could predict the outcome of a game perfectly, the fear of losing sometimes stops me from going ahead with it. I don't know if I qualify to be called a gambler or just someone who likes to try his luck.

In your own case, I think you need to still keep up with your watchfulness of maintaining her activities because its not that easy to just quit without trying it once in a while and also, you need to take charge of the finances. Every money spent needs to be accounted for because for the fact that more money is available for shopping does not mean gambling has stopped rather its could be less money now spent on gambling and that's why you need to still be vigilant. Wishing you the best.

[charina]

i think if one person is already addicted to gambling you must already do something to prevent it before it is too late i knew someone whose been into gambling and everything that he has he sold it just to have money to spend to gambling...everything that he earn after a month of work as early as the day he gets his salary he goes directly to casino to play...he is a hardworker but he cant save plus the bank is always searching for him for his debts

[spiker777]

I think that there should be a notice on the front of casinos that actually provides this kind of supports for families. I know that some countries have mandatory requirements to inform guests about the risks of gambling, but there should definitely be some measures taken. I know that it's a rare case for gambling to become a problem, but there should be some attempts to reducing this issue, as it has a negative impactive on the gambling scene as a whole.

[Finestream]

i think if one person is already addicted to gambling you must already do something to prevent it before it is too late i knew someone whose been into gambling and everything that he has he sold it just to have money to spend to gambling...everything that he earn after a month of work as early as the day he gets his salary he goes directly to casino to play...he is a hardworker but he cant save plus the bank is always searching for him for his debts

Nothing would changed in his lifestyle if he does not control himself and will be a gambler forever.He should discipline himself by avoiding all means of gambling so he can move forward and recover all his losses even little by little.He should divert his time into some other profitable hobbies so he will not think anymore of coming back into gambling.

[iv4n]

i think if one person is already addicted to gambling you must already do something to prevent it before it is too late i knew someone whose been into gambling and everything that he has he sold it just to have money to spend to gambling...everything that he earn after a month of work as early as the day he gets his salary he goes directly to casino to play...he is a hardworker but he cant save plus the bank is always searching for him for his debts

Nothing would changed in his lifestyle if he does not control himself and will be a gambler forever.He should discipline himself by avoiding all means of gambling so he can move forward and recover all his losses even little by little.He should divert his time into some other profitable hobbies so he will not think anymore of coming back into gambling.

Control is the solution for many problems, with gambling problem it's same. I don't agree with finding profitable hobby, it's not everything in the money. That's the beginning of many problems, we are materialists and it's always about money, making money, spending money, and in that race many people lose their minds.
Control yourself, control your urges for making more money and when you are spending money. Controling yourself in many ways is the solution for many problems, but to be able to control your emotions and actions you need to have strong character, wrong mind. Many people are not able to control simple things in their lives.
Point is in practice, start easy and sloe and practice ituntil it becomes habit. It's not easy but it's achievable.

[charina]

he already tried to stop but after for a month or two his wife told me that he returned into gambling maybe i think it is also because of the people who surrounds him...friends co-workers who is also into gambling...it is easy for us to say to stop but i think if one person is surrounded by these factors it is not easy...especially if you work with you see them everyday and after work they asked you to go with them...he stops when there’s no more money to spend to gambling or he can’t find someone to lend him money for gambling...and now his wife is thinking of sending him into a psychiatrist to seek help...not that he is insane but to help him to forget these sort of things regarding gambling...

[joebrook]

I don't think gambling should be called a addiction it's not something bad or horrible as it's always is portrayed. Not all our alike, not even our fingers are the same size, each one finds a different passion which keeps him sane so I would call it a passion, i believe each person is sane enough to decide for himself, and so I feel each one can make his own choice without being subject to humiliation.

Gambling becomes an addiction whenever people tends to overdo it and that is when they start to spend all their money and time gambling instead of doing other important things. Gambling in itself is no problem but when it becomes extreme and addiction there is when the problem begins.

[ethereumhunter]

he already tried to stop but after for a month or two his wife told me that he returned into gambling maybe i think it is also because of the people who surrounds him...friends co-workers who is also into gambling...it is easy for us to say to stop but i think if one person is surrounded by these factors it is not easy...especially if you work with you see them everyday and after work they asked you to go with them...he stops when there’s no more money to spend to gambling or he can’t find someone to lend him money for gambling...and now his wife is thinking of sending him into a psychiatrist to seek help...not that he is insane but to help him to forget these sort of things regarding gambling...

people which around us can give a bad experience to us especially if they are often to play gambling, soon or later, we can attract to the games and we will difficult to leave the gambling. and if this is happening, maybe he needs to quit his job and search for another job because he cannot reject his friends to play gambling. but if he realizes that he doesn't have to follow with his friends then he can stay with his job and he needs to always reject if his friend wants to ask him to play gambling.

[kiloiko]

I think that there should be a notice on the front of casinos that actually provides this kind of supports for families. I know that some countries have mandatory requirements to inform guests about the risks of gambling, but there should definitely be some measures taken. I know that it's a rare case for gambling to become a problem, but there should be some attempts to reducing this issue, as it has a negative impactive on the gambling scene as a whole.

But I am against this point. Reason is, why to involve families in this harmful game. Once you have decided to make fun of yourself and trying to ruin your own life, then why to grab shoulders of your family too? Don’t do this. Take good care of them and don’t let them down by doing this harmful gaming. Better to pledge on right way and that owl only lead you to best gate out.

[sana54210]

My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.

Nice story, I really enjoyed. I have also a friend who is regular gambler and I also visited with him for many times, but I just look out and never gamble because I have no experience of gambling. I have never seen him winning big money and took it to home, he always lost and not only he but all other gambler also lost money. Only the owner of the place collects money.

[agentx44]

My partner was a gambling addict for many years, and I put up with it as much as I could for many years. We had talks about it. We had fights about it. Sometimes we went for weeks without speaking to each other. Many times after promising to quit, she'd quietly go back there and lose more money. The children would stay up until late into the night waiting for their mother to come home. Where's mommy? They'd wake up tired for school the next day. One night after she came home, something inside me snapped. I had enough!! I told her to get the F out of my house and to take all her crap with her. I told her that I'm going to divorce her and take the house and the kids. I told her that I have copies of all her bank statements showing how much money she's been squandering at casinos and that no judge in his right mind would give a gambling addict custody of the children, besides she was always broke. I was seeing red and I was fully prepared for the ugliest divorce and custody fight ever. Do you know what happened after that night? She quit gambling. It's been 6 months or so since that night, and I have to say thanks be to God for answering my prayers and bringing this whole ugly problem to an end. I've never been that angry with her before, and I guess that is what she needed to see before she quit. I showed her the brick wall that she was heading for and she slammed on the brakes.

Nice story, I really enjoyed. I have also a friend who is regular gambler and I also visited with him for many times, but I just look out and never gamble because I have no experience of gambling. I have never seen him winning big money and took it to home, he always lost and not only he but all other gambler also lost money. Only the owner of the place collects money.

I have also experienced going home without any winnings in gambling and i get really upset when i lost all of my money in gambling, but i do not get addicted in gambling because i only play when my friends just ask me to play. Only my friends who are a regular that almost every night they play in the casino and always expecting to win a huge profit.

[Ewinsane]

we keep seeing topics coming about the negative side in gambling , it's a fact that there are really few percentage that are addicted to gambling but the majority are fun seekers and professionals

I don't see someone coming with topics like getting addicted to video games , or getting addicted to watching movies

I have seen many people who ruined their selves with different types of addictions , but never seen a person who was affected from gambling

the problem does exist , but it's really rare and I guess the majority know the risk and also know the reward

to be honest living in Syria I realized that gambling is the minimum risk that the human being can take

Yes only few people were seriously addicted to the gambling and then most of them can tackle it even if they were addicted to it with their daily life.
Gambling has lot of positivity too but in most of the world it was just portrayed as bad thing to do,like a sin and sometime even like illegal activities that is why many people afraid to be a gambler even if they wanted to be.

Man, you are the only one here I think who is saying this. Gambling has a lot of positivity? Where it is? Why this positivity is not seen to us? Why people are getting so much negativity in gambling and why they are not making themselves beneficial with this positivity? I think this all is just a loss of mind. You are out of your mind or somehow you better become blind with greed for money.

[buwaytress]

Like all forms of addiction/affliction, pain or suffering, it's actually really difficult to empathise if you've never experienced it before. As I grow older, I am more open to trying to understand things, no matter how insensible they seem to me. I can't ever see myself losing control in gambling, but perhaps I've never really made myself vulnerable to such situations. I do find shades of irresponsibility within my limits - countless times losing a bit more than I intended to, a few times depositing more when I promised not to, just to chase back losses. But perhaps on worse days, less desirable personal situations, I could have gone a few steps farther, and then it's hard to say what could have happened next.

Living alone is always going to be difficult, no matter the rigours of self-discipline. It's good to see the recognition that having friends and family help keep an eye on you, having first being open about the problem, is critical to keeping that addiction at bay.

As audacious suggests above, perhaps keep control of finances. Bitcoin makes this a bit easier. Keeping the private keys on savings and income, and funneling whatever you're comfortable with to her, until she can trust herself again.