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Author Topic: [The Cult of Lauda] A concerned neighbourhood cat's trust list  (Read 4490 times)
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Lauda
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January 17, 2019, 09:54:06 AM
Last edit: June 01, 2020, 08:24:04 PM by Lauda
Merited by Patatas (3), Hhampuz (1), TMAN (1), cabalism13 (1)
 #1

As I've received too many inquiries so far, and as I'm afraid that I might lose it due to some weird limits (e.g. ignore list limit) or glitches I'm gonna keep a backup from The Cult.

Exclusions (86):
Code:
~HostFat
~MemoryDealers
~TECSHARE
~OgNasty
~Phinnaeus Gage
~Tomatocage
~silverfuture
~Xian01
~lenny_
~peloso
~Steamtyme
~Sylon
~cyclops
~dArkjON
~jeremypwr
~BayAreaCoins
~EFS
~shorena
~willi9974
~grtthegreat
~Rmcdermott927
~teeGUMES
~Dogedigital
~CryptoImperator
~iluvbitcoins
~KingZee
~zazarb
~bill gator
~MaoChao
~WhiteManWhite
~eddie13
~Fattcatt
~xenon131
~Xal0lex
~JanEmil
~Parodium
~chimk
~biom33
~Polkeins
~esmanthra
~madnessteat
~DabLjat
~Rooivalk
~mexxer-2
~silverfuture
~kroneko
~xyz
~cygan
~2run
~by rallier
~teramit
~Buchi-88
~quasimodo
~Halmater
~Matthias9515
~PHI1618
~sonerbo
~BitcoinTurk
~bobita
~wolwoo
~trendcoin
~Bthd
~ziya1453
~Kalemder
~AlyattesLydia
~Asber
~HARDCRACKERS
~jopen
~Leteravian
~addtelegrams
~goraset
~otrkid1970
~Thule
~Vispilio
~dannybrown
~gospodin
~figmentofmyass
~Timelord2067
~allahabadi
~johhnyUA
~dragonvslinux
~Balthazar
~kzv
~Blacknavy
~mhanbostanci
~Zz
~altcoin_trade
~koincik
~vycl87

Inclusions (20):
Code:
gmaxwell
qwk
Vod
Anduck
Foxpup
monkeynuts
TMAN
Mitchell
Blazed
klaaas
hilariousandco
actmyname
nullius
Lutpin
marlboroza
Gunthar
Hhampuz
anonymousminer
minerjones
JollyGood



It is of vital importance that included members respond to inquiries for trust-related matters. Inactive members, despite significant past contributions, will likely be swiftly removed.


Official way to worship me:
Quote
The Queen of Cats guides us. The Queen of Cats teaches us. The Queen of Cats protects us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are humbled. We live only to serve. Our lives are yours.
Source.

Someone asked me not to use this anymore so here it is:


"The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks"
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DireWolfM14
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January 17, 2019, 03:44:24 PM
 #2

Someone asked me not to use this anymore so here it is:



Emilia Clark = Lauda?

I thought Brenna Sparks was the best crypto can do, but Emilia Clark is far more beautiful AND classy.


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January 26, 2019, 08:11:25 AM
Merited by Lauda (13), yogg (1), Hhampuz (1)
 #3

A Song of Feline Fidelity

Behold: a list of wonder
How bold: scams torn asunder
Aye, the list is expansive and so apprehensive
Tildes bring forth cataclysm, a natural block of darwinism
Face the truth, the system functions as intended
The hate comes forth after one is apprehended
What's justice if only noticed after the fact
It's fake delusions when you feel attacked

Gone in the wind your reputation will rescind
A fallen devil to the truth, pretending that you haven't sinned
Yet persistence yields ad hominem ad nauseum
Add constant posting threads ending up in a sanatorium
How pitiful the cries as the fallen struggle to stand
The more they showcase all their rage the more they restrictive grows their cage
Hate, power, jealousy has flowered
Fate, devours, an inevitable scour

Habitual Clarkes only further ignite sparks
The indignant remarks further bolster the red marks
It's not business, it's personal
Stay civil, cat may be merciful
It's not unique, it's general
Snowflakes always crumble
And if you pick a fight then offer yourself humble
Lest you wish for blight and drop your posts in a slow stumble

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February 04, 2019, 09:26:35 PM
 #4



Join us...

LFC_Bitcoin
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May 21, 2019, 12:11:12 PM
 #5



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yogg
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May 24, 2019, 10:35:22 AM
Merited by Lauda (10), LoyceV (1)
 #6

Here is a short, very rare footage of the Queen of Cats wandering around the threads and scams :



And, another very rare one, of the Queen in action, after spotting a scammer :



All Meows to the Mother of the Cats

.

        _ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_
      ŠŠŠŠŠŠ―Š―ŠŠŠŠŠŠ
    ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―_―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
  ŠŠ―Š―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―Š―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ――ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_
  ŠŠ―_―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―_―ŠŠŠŠŠŠ―――ŠŠŠ―――ŠŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠ――ŠŠŠŠŠ
ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠ_ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ――ŠŠŠŠ_
ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_―ŠŠŠ―_ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ――ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ――Š―ŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―_ŠŠŠ_―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ――ŠŠ―ŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―――ŠŠŠ―
ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_ŠŠŠ_ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―Š
  ŠŠ_―_ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_―_ŠŠŠŠŠ
  ŠŠ_Š_ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_Š_ŠŠ
    ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ_―_ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
      ŠŠŠŠŠŠ_Š_ŠŠŠŠŠŠ
        ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
COLDKEY
.
. C O L D   S T O R A G E    W A L L E T  F O R    E V E R Y O N E..
.

             _ŠŠŠŠ__   _
Š_          ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―_
ŠŠŠ        ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
ŠŠŠŠŠ_     ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
__ŠŠŠŠŠŠ____ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
  ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
  __ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ
   ―ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
    __ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
――ŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠŠ―
    ―――――
nullius
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January 20, 2020, 09:29:54 AM
Merited by TMAN (10)
 #7

Better quote, appropriately “sauced” (df, can I haz imageboard?):

...Lauda [+1000]...

...the greatest current authoritarian threat who would crush the liberty you portray to protect...

Behold the wisdom of eddie13!

Global central banking systems based on universal forced debt, unholy mass-surveillance marriages of spy agencies and google-flared clouds of facecorps running AI to oversee meat-bots, and tyrannical rιgimes who impose slave-level taxation on their democratic ovine herds to pay for bombing everybody in the world into “freedom”—these are all not “the greatest current authoritarian threat who would crush liberty”.

No.

The superlatively greatest threat is... Lauda!

The infamy of her power grows!  Her witchcraft exceeds all armies and any technology!  Why, she even has the daemonic legions of Blockstream Core under her spell for to oppress the blocksize down to poor-people hardware levels, and thereupon invoke the Spell of Lightning, removing transactions from the blockchain (so that financial surveillance can’t see them) and also, controlling even the weather by mystical mastery over the forces of Nature!

For her scheme to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, the final step is for her to issue harsh trust judgments on a web forum.  Because she is just. that. powerful.

* nullius hands eddie13 some Quickpills.



These proofs of her extraordinary powers must be inscribed in the official annals of Lauda’s cult-lore:

As I was initiated into a cryptic cult with rites of the goddess Hecate, the renowned paranormal researcher William Blake caught this photograph of Lauda shapeshifted to the form of a flying catbat:

Photo of LAUDA as a FLYING CATBAT
The witch LAUDA
Identified Flying Object (IFO)
(Better than a UFO.  Much better than an ICO.)


Lauda’s Demonic True Nature

Photographic PROOF that the shapeshifter Lauda is not only a witch and a flying catbat, but also a demon spawned from the depths of Hell itself:

THE FINAL SHOWDOWN? So who's the final boss and hidden boss?

Quote from: TrollPro
THE CYPHERKITTEN
Fires red-tags from its cyphernetic paw-cannon:

PROTIP:  To “defeat” the Cypherkitten, whine at it in scatological terms, and promise to leave the forum to enjoy your MILLIONS FOR REAL.



As a certified cult leader myself, I unfortunately cannot join the Cult of Lauda.  It says so in the rules of cult-leading.  But I do appreciate her eddie13-endorsed power as “the greatest... threat” to TAKE OVER THE WORLD.  For that is only a part of my own scheme:  I will support Lauda’s conquest; and when her world domination is an accomplished fact, I will then seize her in blockchains and carry her off to the Castle of Nullity where from deep within the void, I will use her to rule this tiny speck of a planet by proxy.  It is only the first step in my own plans to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE.

The plan is perfect, if Lauda never suspects my intentions before it is too late for her.  I had better tighten up my opsec, and encrypt all my musings on the subject.  She will never see it coming.  Nice kitty.



Thus spake nullius, in his 999th post.  (But as yet only 0x3e7 in hex.)

nullius
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February 21, 2020, 10:00:07 AM
Last edit: February 21, 2020, 10:26:31 AM by nullius
Merited by TMAN (10)
 #8


sub rosa

Removed:

Quote
~Quickseller

Before the conspiracy theorists start speculating.

Damn, the mind-control implant arrived even faster than I expected.  Cherry-picking a misquote of myself out of context, LOL:

I am sorry, Mr Quickseller, if you did not realize that simply making peace with Lauda requires that you shall be abducted by space aliens for the implantation of Lauda-alt mind-control devices in your brain.  Well, it is now part of the deal.  The flying saucer will be at your house any moment, for your psychotronic “onboarding” before you are used for breeding experiments.  Anybody who denies this is only a brain-chipped catbot covering up THE TRUTH about you and Lauda, as you will soon see PROVED in a thousand troll posts against you.

Alas, Quickseller, no good deed goes unpunished.




Seven Deadly

By the way, Quickie, I am pleased to announce that I have PROVED that PrimeNumber7 is my alt—and thus, so are you!  For we have all used some form of an extremely uncommon phrase that is completely unknown to people with basic English literacy.  (Crude scrapers may not catch all forms of the same phrase.)  I accidentally let this slip when I was at Newbie rank—when I started my own cult, only a few weeks after the very first post in my history not only spoke about theymos, but directly addressed him!  Oopsie.

The god of Bitcoin demands obedience to the divine Law of Consensus.  The damned who hardfork without consensus are renegades, abjurers of holiness, rapine oath-breakers, frauds, sowers of discord, and traitors, who shall be consigned damnatio memoriae with their chains to eternal poverty within the depths of Tartarus, where all hashes are broken and all bits are made nothing.

(Cf. the Ninth Bolgia of the Eighth Circle of Hell in Canto XXVIII of Dante’s Inferno, etc., etc.)

Furthermore, because I am your sockpuppet, this constitutes a confession that you are also Lauda, the inventor of Bitcoin:

Nullius' knowledge about blockchain science and cryptography is a dead giveaway....  He could even be Satoshi.  Shocked
nullius is lauda. That is very clear. Anyone who does not see this is simply closing their eyes.

I/you/Lauda only tagged, then untagged PrimeNumber7 to throw people off my/your/her trail—because the trail leads all the way to theymos, who calculates forum Virtue metrics (based on the very name of Lauda) for the purpose of enforcing an “upright, God-fearing community which will suffer no witchcraft or other heresy”.  Surely, theymos has read the Bible...  What the Hell kind of SCAM is this forum, with an administrator who runs scores (if not thousands) of sockpuppet accounts!?

Meow.




Deep in the void of nullity,
I stared into the Abyss;
And the Abyss smil’d at me...

nullius is cthulhu. That is very clear. Anyone who does not see this is simply closing their eyes.



Witchcraft Sightings

An amateur videographer recently attempted to CAPTCHA the catbat on film.  But no William Blake was he!  After he was discovered wandering in the woods, stark raving mad and sweating blood, the following was found in his knapsack before the remainder of its contents was seized by heavily-armed visitors who arrived in a black helicopter:


By the way, the Cypherkitten image was created using witchcraft with ImageMagick.  Here is a one-liner with IM6 that will do a not-too-horrible job of removing the background of Lauda’s old cat-in-goggles avatar:

Code:
convert kitty_avatar_101872.jpg -fill none -fuzz 13% -draw "matte 0,0 floodfill" -draw "matte 94,0 floodfill" -draw "matte 94,50 floodfill" kitty.png



It is pure evil, of course:  I should return to GraphicsMagick.

nullius
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March 22, 2020, 07:42:02 AM
 #9

Lauda’s dossier:

First name:Laura
Last name:Gilles
Location:Scotland
Underwear:Militarily omitted
Gloves:Without


Old-timer, you knew facts about Lauda that I did not:  Her surname is Gillis!  And she wears not a skirt, but a kilt—with no underwear, fearsome fighter that she is.

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June 01, 2020, 08:21:39 PM
 #10

Latest additions:

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~koincik
~vycl87

"The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks"
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