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Author Topic: If a addict lives within, which method would you choose to help them  (Read 2359 times)
pinggoki
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February 01, 2024, 03:10:28 AM
 #81

I guess, it’s better to stop them providing money for gambling. If they won’t have money to gamble, then how come they will gamble? In this manner, their addiction might decrease. Moreover you can also show them additional love and ask them to spend time with the family. Addiction won’t be gone in a single day, but if you keep him busy with other work, then definitely the addiction level will decrease and a day will come when the gambling addiction will be gone forever.
This is supposed to be the best type of intervention but the problem is that it's a bad idea to actually do it because cutting off their supply of money would lead them to desperate actions like kleptomania and at the same time make them commit crime just to get by with their addiction, for me, it's the total forcing of them to go to rehab or a forceful intervention that they can't find other way around besides complying with the intervention to get to the rehab, this is one of the times that tough love is actually a permissible thing to do to that person because they're not going to go anywhere if you just let their behavior because of their addiction towards you slide time and time again.
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February 01, 2024, 05:44:36 AM
 #82

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.
This is a good way to ease them into getting professional help, they need the tenderness and that's how they should be treated first so they don't resist the idea of therapy or rehab. But if we really want things to work, love and tender care for them should be combined with a stern talking and an ultimatum in regards to their addiction should also be addressed so they know that you're serious about them changing for the better and that it's the best for both of you, addiction is a disease and I believe that the combination of the addict's determination for change towards a new life and the care of their family will make the fight against that disease a bit more winnable than not having one of them.
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February 01, 2024, 06:00:19 AM
 #83

Anyway, I can only agree: whenever you have an important problem you can't solve yourself it is usually advisable to look for help, and with addictions is not any different (in fact, seeking help is specially important to avoid derailing if you see the first symthoms). This way you(or your relative) will save much more money in the long term than the price of the consultation, and prevent further problems linked to impulsiveness.
True. Problem here is that many people especially the ones living in 3rd world countries feel that trying to treat mental issues like gambling addiction could affect their reputation in society negatively which is why they avoid going to psychologists.

They end up making things worse for themselves usually due to those silly reasons.

Now that you mentioned developing countries, another problem that they should face would be that not everybody has enough money to pay a specialist to help him/her, so I suppose that the problem is harder to solve there because of poverty, not to mention social stigma linked to believing that only insane people need therapy.

In such cases, family and friends should prioritize and save the money to pay for the therapy. The good thing is that a consultation is often cheaper there than in other regions of the world, but tools and attention might be worse too.

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mak013
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February 01, 2024, 07:15:19 AM
 #84

As for me - only the second way. It is difficult to make an addict to change his life and if you will be soft with him - he will be only happy that someone cares of him. But if you make him to work hard, to change the life - he willn`t like it, but it will help him to win this battle.
As one more moment - he must understand himself, that there is another life - without gambling. Help him to find a job, give advice - that`s all, until he begin change his life himself.

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February 01, 2024, 07:23:06 AM
 #85

Anyway, I can only agree: whenever you have an important problem you can't solve yourself it is usually advisable to look for help, and with addictions is not any different (in fact, seeking help is specially important to avoid derailing if you see the first symthoms). This way you(or your relative) will save much more money in the long term than the price of the consultation, and prevent further problems linked to impulsiveness.
True. Problem here is that many people especially the ones living in 3rd world countries feel that trying to treat mental issues like gambling addiction could affect their reputation in society negatively which is why they avoid going to psychologists.

They end up making things worse for themselves usually due to those silly reasons.

Now that you mentioned developing countries, another problem that they should face would be that not everybody has enough money to pay a specialist to help him/her, so I suppose that the problem is harder to solve there because of poverty, not to mention social stigma linked to believing that only insane people need therapy.

In such cases, family and friends should prioritize and save the money to pay for the therapy. The good thing is that a consultation is often cheaper there than in other regions of the world, but tools and attention might be worse too.
Well, though I am not doubting it's possibility, but I've not seen or heard of a stage of gambling addiction that will require therapy before the victim of the addiction will be able to come out free from it, if actually such level of addiction in gambling exists, then it must be very rare.

I've had a couple of friends who were gambling addicts, they were addicts and gambled for years, but at a particular point in their respective lives, each of them began to see reasons why he needs to stop gambling asap, so as to get free from the addiction, one was having issues with his wife on daily basis because of his excessive gambling activity, another at another time started having issues with finance which also later started affecting his presents at his work place, since  he spends money on transportation on daily basis to and from work.

This guys never went do any doctor or specialist, they did partake in any form of therapy to get free from  their gambling addiction, they both got free from it when they both on their respective times, decide to quit, and made of their minds to discipline themselves and stand firm to that decision to never gamble again, atleast, until they are sure they are no longer controlled by gambling, and surly, it did worked out for them..

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February 01, 2024, 07:43:49 AM
 #86

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
 
What do you think?
To get rid of a gambling addict I have to be strict first because the gambling addict needs to understand that I am very strict about gambling. Then he should be treated politely and gently and gradually convince him that gambling is very bad and gambling should be used only for entertainment. He needs to be convinced in such a way that he gradually understands and gives up gambling. I think if a gambling addict can be properly explained in this way then surely he will get rid of gambling addiction.

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February 01, 2024, 08:59:16 AM
 #87

You can only help those who want to be helped. A gambling addict has to admit that he's an addict and be willing to stop before he can be helped. When he has made a conscious effort to stop them it will be easier to help out.

There's no point in being harsh to an addict. If it was easy for them to not be an addict they would have. It's not easy so you have to be gentle with him.
Being harsh on people is just another way of pushing people far away from you and you can't help a person if the person is far away.
You just have to keep making sure he's loved and not judged. Don't judge them.
This doesn't mean you won't tell them their fuck up to their face. Be honest with them, don't sugarcoat anything, but be gentle. Love them. Love is the only thing that can help. Create trust between the both of you, let the person know you're there for them.

First, they have to be able to admit that they are addicted to gambling, because usually those who are addicted to gambling don't want to admit that they are addicted to gambling. also with them addicted to gambling they will not easily accept advice from others. It's true what you said, they will be easily helped if they admit they are addicted and have their own advice, but if they don't have their own awareness then in my opinion it will be difficult even if they are helped by other people or their closest family.

To be honest, when someone is addicted to gambling, his family will definitely do their best by gently helping him, but as time goes by, if the addict doesn't change, then it is likely that the family will also raise their hand to help him. because I myself am fed up of advising my friend who is addicted to gambling, so now I just let him, let him experience an incident that will make him realize it by himself. After he has his own awareness then maybe advice from other people can be accepted well.
They would really be in denial as much as they could until you would be able to caught them on the spot then this is where they would really be making those admission that they are really that addicted.
If ever that ones of the family members who are really that on such condition or situation then as a family member who do loves then it would really be normal that you would really doing your very best
to help them to solve out that gambling problem. Not all would really be that in concern with others situations and conditions but as a family then it would really be that impossible that you could turn back.
Why wont you would really be turning your back into someone who is your family and you do know that he/she's addicted with gambling?

It would really be that impossible that you would really be that too cold hearten on that kind of situation or condition on which even myself would really be
sure that help would really be next on the line once i do able to know such situation.

That's clear, in my opinion what is called a family is that there is a bond of helping each other, when one family member has a problem then the other family members have to help to overcome the problem that occurs to one of the other members. That's true, even if a family helps, it won't be easy if the main perpetrator himself doesn't have the awareness that what he is doing is wrong, also in my opinion when someone is addicted they will most likely only think about gambling and tend not to care about other things.

I don't understand what you said about turning your back on someone who is my family.
However, if one of my own family members is addicted then I will also warn him, advise as best I can, but as I said before, if the main perpetrator doesn't change at all like my friend, then what I will do is leave it to him. realized for himself that what he did was wrong. because in my opinion advising people who won't change is just a waste of time.

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February 01, 2024, 10:53:54 PM
 #88

As for me - only the second way. It is difficult to make an addict to change his life and if you will be soft with him - he will be only happy that someone cares of him. But if you make him to work hard, to change the life - he willn`t like it, but it will help him to win this battle.
As one more moment - he must understand himself, that there is another life - without gambling. Help him to find a job, give advice - that`s all, until he begin change his life himself.
For someone to being a gambling addict is a normal thing and we don't have to keep accusing the person or disrespecting them because of gambling. Sometimes we can keep asking questions of how far the person had been betting and what's there plan in the future.
We can always laugh and spend frequent time with the person. The love only can make the person comes closer and start gisting with us.
It's all about time and with friendship, helping the person gamble healthy without too thinking of what to bet on again.









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February 01, 2024, 11:06:28 PM
 #89

The most important thing is for the addict to understand that he is actually one. The second is to understand that there is no "control" and that things are going to be worse with time even if the addiction is not causing a problem here and now. The way you can communicate this to the person makes a lot of difference and their way of understanding a critic will mark their ability to react correctly.

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February 01, 2024, 11:14:44 PM
 #90

As for me - only the second way. It is difficult to make an addict to change his life and if you will be soft with him - he will be only happy that someone cares of him. But if you make him to work hard, to change the life - he willn`t like it, but it will help him to win this battle.
As one more moment - he must understand himself, that there is another life - without gambling. Help him to find a job, give advice - that`s all, until he begin change his life himself.
For someone to being a gambling addict is a normal thing and we don't have to keep accusing the person or disrespecting them because of gambling. Sometimes we can keep asking questions of how far the person had been betting and what's there plan in the future.
We can always laugh and spend frequent time with the person. The love only can make the person comes closer and start gisting with us.
It's all about time and with friendship, helping the person gamble healthy without too thinking of what to bet on again.

Addiction is something that Currently has many treatments, of course things are always going to be in favor of those who have one treatment, the things that can be achieved are many, a worse example in a thread here in the forum is He talks a lot about how to help them, because basically the treatments in some countries are quite Expensive , and that's true , it's a fact, for example where I live, a consultation with a psychologist is not that Expensive , it must be because there are so many, kla Competneic makes the demand because it is low and they are people who offer some free treatments, cases where they go for the First time People and see them, after that or if they charge them later, the important thing is to do Something , I have said Several times here in the forum things are different , because I think there are many who are Perhaps going through that bad moment , so one of the things they should avoid is that they follow Advice like staying Stuck or Something like that , as long as we can Help many Here, because I Consider it much better.

In another order of ideas , I have talked about a treatment that is good for those who cannot be controlled, it is with sleep cures, but nevertheless it is said that this is for patients who are too strong , who become aggressive or something So, once these things Are the ones that should be Avoided, we have to see all these possibilities, because the important thing is that we have many things to be able to avoid it, and I think one of the easiest ways is with control of our money. If there is good control of our budget, of our money, things will be done much better, and that is what is sought, for me the people who seek help are because they want to be cured, and this is something I Admire , not everyone has that mindset of thinking and accepting things, that's why I say that person Should be valued like that.

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February 01, 2024, 11:14:49 PM
 #91

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
 
What do you think?
I can't probably tell, i'm not an expert/professional person to advise something like that, especially for a gambling "addict" where he is already manipulated by the gambling and money.

If this is a person is a close of mine, probably, a short talk of what he can loss "more" and possible scenarios that will happen once he still won't stop, like providing him the news related to being gambling addict for them to realize what will be his future.

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February 01, 2024, 11:41:44 PM
 #92

As for me - only the second way. It is difficult to make an addict to change his life and if you will be soft with him - he will be only happy that someone cares of him. But if you make him to work hard, to change the life - he willn`t like it, but it will help him to win this battle.
As one more moment - he must understand himself, that there is another life - without gambling. Help him to find a job, give advice - that`s all, until he begin change his life himself.

Getting him a job only might not help him/her from being an addict. Although the job can keep him busy, thereby making him to have less time for gamble. I think talking to him about his addicted problem can go a long way to help him out.

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February 01, 2024, 11:46:09 PM
 #93

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
 
What do you think?
To get rid of a gambling addict I have to be strict first because the gambling addict needs to understand that I am very strict about gambling. Then he should be treated politely and gently and gradually convince him that gambling is very bad and gambling should be used only for entertainment. He needs to be convinced in such a way that he gradually understands and gives up gambling. I think if a gambling addict can be properly explained in this way then surely he will get rid of gambling addiction.
There are people who dont really like on being that forcibly having that type of approach on which it cant really be able to resolve out such possible addiction whether its outside or inside the family members on which it would really be just that depending whether on how you would really be able to assess and would be able to handle such situation or condition.
If one of the family members is suffering on such addiction then it would really be just that normal that you would really be having that kind of sense of responsibility on helping them out.
We do know the cons and problems that gambling addiction could cause into someones personal life and since its inside the family then it would affect the family as a whole.

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February 02, 2024, 12:45:02 AM
 #94

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
IMO regardless of what you choose both can be effective. The point is, your goal is to keep this family member away from gambling so if it means you have to be harsh because that's more effective then so be it. Anyway, for me I prefer the number one, because gambling is not a sin. It's just that, this family member needs to learn his lesson to realize that what he's doing is not healthy anymore for himself and for his family. He needs support and guidance, someone that can understand the situation and will encourage him to change.

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February 02, 2024, 02:53:46 AM
 #95

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
 
What do you think?
To get rid of a gambling addict I have to be strict first because the gambling addict needs to understand that I am very strict about gambling. Then he should be treated politely and gently and gradually convince him that gambling is very bad and gambling should be used only for entertainment. He needs to be convinced in such a way that he gradually understands and gives up gambling. I think if a gambling addict can be properly explained in this way then surely he will get rid of gambling addiction.
There are people who dont really like on being that forcibly having that type of approach on which it cant really be able to resolve out such possible addiction whether its outside or inside the family members on which it would really be just that depending whether on how you would really be able to assess and would be able to handle such situation or condition.
If one of the family members is suffering on such addiction then it would really be just that normal that you would really be having that kind of sense of responsibility on helping them out.
We do know the cons and problems that gambling addiction could cause into someones personal life and since its inside the family then it would affect the family as a whole.
True, since I believe that treating a gambler addict like a family member as suggested by @2Pizza410000BTC would set them off, making them feel as though they are being attacked, criticized, or humiliated, which will make them more resistant to changing their ways. Naturally, as a family member, I agree with you that it is only normal for us to support a loved one who is battling a gambling addiction. Ultimately, though, the gambling-addicted family member must take responsibility for managing their addiction. In other words, we have a big part to play in helping the addict get well. For example, we can offer them emotional support and motivate them to make changes that will benefit them personally. Let's sometimes put aside our own feelings and actions to avoid making snap judgments or saying hurtful things that could exacerbate their behavior. Therefore, it is preferable that we should be cautious and deliberate before taking action.
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February 02, 2024, 05:00:50 AM
 #96

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
 
What do you think?
For me, it's a combination of both soft and hard way is what's going to make things work for that family member, you can't really force them all the way to recovery because when something is forced into someone, it will always be met with some resistance and on the other hand, being too soft would make it seem that what you're doing for them isn't serious and that they can just ignore you. Think of helping an addict relative like you're holding someone's hand, it should be gentle yet firm so basically you tell them with a strict voice that you are going to give them a limit and that if they will reach that, they'll have to consider rehabilitation and that they should change for the better, tell them how much it breaks your heart that they're like this and that they can't stand you being like this, play on their emotions, if they still have any then they'll be able to tap on to that and use that as an inspiration for change, giving them support on their rehab is going to be a big thing.

Now that you mentioned developing countries, another problem that they should face would be that not everybody has enough money to pay a specialist to help him/her, so I suppose that the problem is harder to solve there because of poverty, not to mention social stigma linked to believing that only insane people need therapy.

In such cases, family and friends should prioritize and save the money to pay for the therapy. The good thing is that a consultation is often cheaper there than in other regions of the world, but tools and attention might be worse too.
There's enough money alright, they just don't want to invest in it because they've got other things to do, remember that US could easily solve their homeless crisis with a small amount of funds from their military spending but they don't do it because there's no profit that they can get out of solving homelessness and it's the same thing with mental health, what would an influential and developing country can do with mentally clarified and healthy people anyway? They can just use that would be money for solving mental health crisis to fund their trading and increase their GDP. I wouldn't agree that there's a stigma in mental health anymore maybe back then there is but with the prevalence of suicide and a lot of mental health awareness I don't think that there's going to be a lot of people that are stigmatizing when it comes to mental health. Therapy is a helpful thing especially for mental traumas and damages, if applied correctly that person is going to be going back to what society perceives as normal and at the same time make it so that person that was healed through therapy wouldn't be of harm to others and themselves.
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February 02, 2024, 05:32:12 AM
 #97

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
IMO regardless of what you choose both can be effective. The point is, your goal is to keep this family member away from gambling so if it means you have to be harsh because that's more effective then so be it. Anyway, for me I prefer the number one, because gambling is not a sin. It's just that, this family member needs to learn his lesson to realize that what he's doing is not healthy anymore for himself and for his family. He needs support and guidance, someone that can understand the situation and will encourage him to change.
it can be effective depending on how the involved will response because even how good or better
 we do to help yet its those addicted gamblers choice to make it happen so yeah it is always depending on them .
if they finally get to understand what is happening then that is the time to help because if not all our effort
will be nothing for them.

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February 02, 2024, 06:24:07 AM
 #98

Well first of all, an addict must admit that they have a problem. A lot of them are in denial, because they think it is under control and they can manage it by themselves.

You can only step into a supportive role, if you understand what you are dealing with. Some people have other issues that needs to be dealt with first, before the gambling addiction can be tackled.

A lot of people do not have the skills and the knowledge to support people with gambling problems, so they must equipt themselves first, before they step into that role. ( You might be part of the problem or your misguided attempts might make it worst)

Seek proffesional help, if you think that you are too emotionally involved or not equipt to help someone. There are people out there that are trained to handle people like this.

Good luck, with whatever path you decide to take.

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February 02, 2024, 06:54:35 AM
 #99

The second option should be kept aside as you can't force someone to do something, even if you manage to do that and if they do it because you are forcing them, they won't leave it and get out of the addiction because they will find a way to do that thing in your absence, so it isn't a permanent solution.

So I would say the best way is to talk to them with love and affection, let them know in calmness that gambling isn't good for them and they need to take a break and get out of the addiction as it will only ruin their life and future. I'm pretty sure that a normal person would understand if they were told something out of love instead of forcing something on them. So, I believe the first method will be the most effective one in this case.

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February 02, 2024, 07:43:42 AM
 #100

As a member of a family and there is a gambling addict within, which method do you think it's the best to rip off the addict from your family member?

1. Talk to them and don't leave their side for too long, show them some love and make sure they don't have anything to do with gambling ever again, be soft and gentle with them.

2. Be harsh about it, force them to quit, let them know that gambling isn't this safe, bounce on them all the time because you love them, don't go any soft on them, because been soft won't make them see reasons why it's bad to be a gambling addict.

Which do you think it's best? Some people do think that been soft and gentle will be more effective and some people think that been harder on them is the real love here, they need to make them stop by force.
 
What do you think?

The only solution here is constant persuasion because you cannot help someone that does not see the need for help. Try to make them see reasons why they should be helped.

 Some addictions makes one feel so excited and satisfied that they begin to see whatever they are addicted to as the only way. Any addicted gambler who is yet to realise that he is in trouble already will be too difficult to be helped because whatever solution you bring might not be followed duely by the gambler, you need the addicted gambler's cooperation for any help you intend to render to work.

Using a very harsh tone will not yield results, rather it would make them become even more secretive about their activities. If they won't change after a calm persuasion done out of love, I will leave them with the option of learning from their own mistakes themselves. Experience they say is the best teacher.

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