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Question: Your spouse/husband earns a lot in gambling but one day loses it all: how do you react?
I'm divorcing / leaving him or her - 5 (15.6%)
I forgive him/her - 27 (84.4%)
Total Voters: 32

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Author Topic: Losing at gambling  (Read 1188 times)
dothebeats
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March 02, 2024, 03:37:13 PM
 #41

I wouldn't file a divorce immediately but would rather try to learn how it got so bad that she has to bet it all. If her reason is something that I am not expecting, or her reasons don't make sense, only then will I file a divorce. Repeated actions as grave as this warrant a consequence of equal degree, and I am not going to be dragged down by someone whose decision making in terms of financial matters make things worse.

However, if we have kids, that's a different story. I will ask her to change her ways, or she'll never see her kids again. I don't want my kids to see their mother destroying her own life and possibly destroying theirs too just because she can't handle her own when it comes to gambling.

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madnessteat
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March 02, 2024, 03:48:05 PM
 #42

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?

This has not happened to me and is unlikely to happen to me as my wife not only does not gamble, but we keep our savings separate. She has no access to my savings, as well as me to hers and in my opinion this is one of the best options to exclude such a situation.

If I had such a situation for some reason, I would forbid my wife to gamble, because there is nothing worse than losing control over yourself and your desires. And this applies not only to gambling, but also to other areas.

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March 02, 2024, 03:53:38 PM
 #43

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
Money problem leads to so much even beyond divorce and it even makes some families have issues they never get to resolve because it has got involvement with money, it's almost a norm everywhere and this isn't gender based especially if it has to do with a spouse gambling and loosing the funds that was supposed to be used for the wellbeing of the family to gamble and end up loosing them all to the casino, such is very much capable of causing a whole lot to the well being of the family and the general reaction of either of the spouse.

I have never been Ina position where my gambling habit turns out to be a reason me and any of my friends or relatives gets to fall out so bad that it ended the relationship because I don't see any sense in it, I don't see it as Ideal that such should happen so I try as much bas it is within my capacity to not allow such ever happen.

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March 02, 2024, 03:58:31 PM
 #44

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction?

One thing many people don't seems to understand about gambling is that even the gambler cannot predict to how far or extent to where he could go while gambling, we all believe that gambling can be indicting sometimes, deceiving as well and if care is not tsking, it will bring the worst personality in us out and we can do nothing about it after the deed is done.

Has this ever happened to you?

No and i don't think it can ever happen to me.

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March 02, 2024, 04:08:28 PM
 #45

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
If my spouse gambles a lot and I sit down and do nothing then, any day that shit hits the fan, I will have some portion of the blame too. Because I could have helped her but I didn't and the family savings is gone due to negligence on my part.

As the direct effect of gambling addiction on the addict, the family, friends and significant others are left to suffer the indirect effect.

Well, if this ever happens to me, I'd take her for rehab after which maybe couple's therapy while I fix the financial aspect of the family.

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March 02, 2024, 04:20:08 PM
 #46

I've never had a problem like this so I can't give my opinion about how I feel when I lose and don't have money, I'm sure every person's views are different on this matter, but fortunately I have a partner who I can trust to manage my finances and regulate my gambling budget so that I don't gamble beyond the limit which results in a gambling addiction, let alone spending all my money just because I hope to win big which ultimately causes me to lose a lot of money, after all gambling should be used as a place to have fun, not to make money.

It is not easy to find a partner who can understand us as gamblers, therefore we need to be open and honest about our gambling habits so that bad communication does not occur. It is important to maintain a relationship with our life partner and also to be together in managing finances, if our partner starts to become addicted. We have the right to stop it, that's why it's important to be open and honest with each other, we can make the relationship intact, whether it's difficult or happy, we can definitely go through it together. The point is that losing at gambling is a normal thing. The important thing is to limit your budget so you don't overdo it.  Wink

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March 02, 2024, 04:21:59 PM
 #47

Gambling doesn't define who I am; therefore, I wouldn't let it define my life. What you described isn't something that isn't happening out in the real world; it's a very unfortunate phenomenon. Gambling, even if you're winning money, is never fine. If you're in a relationship and you're an addict, money isn't the only thing that matters, but the time you spend advocating gambling is also trivial; it's time that could be spent elsewhere, creating memories and experiences. Letting go and losing control and, therefore, your money is probably the worst scenario and is perhaps a valid reason for divorce.

 
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March 02, 2024, 04:40:31 PM
 #48

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
The only ways your partner can react to you is when she don't know that you are a serious gambler but a condition she is aware that you are a committed gambler, she will make sure that she have console you and advice you so both of you life will be moving smoothly, but a bad wife will make sure that she take the advantage of you spending all your money in gambling without coming back home with something else, if you are my wife, I will tell you what I do most to make money should in case of something turn negative tomorrow, so I believe that you have to understand that gambling is something that deals with losses and you can not escape to be loss when you understand the conditions of gambling, try to educate your partner the effects of gambling so that she will not be against you when you lose in gambling

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March 02, 2024, 04:43:55 PM
 #49

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
If my spouse gambles a lot and I sit down and do nothing then, any day that shit hits the fan, I will have some portion of the blame too. Because I could have helped her but I didn't and the family savings is gone due to negligence on my part.

As the direct effect of gambling addiction on the addict, the family, friends and significant others are left to suffer the indirect effect.

Well, if this ever happens to me, I'd take her for rehab after which maybe couple's therapy while I fix the financial aspect of the family.
In the world of gambling everyday we loss so there's a chance that we can say that is a very bad day to us cause we will loss a lot of money in gambling. Also once a gambler got addicted it will getting worst as we all know that not all the time we will win so it will get mad and it will affect on the relationship between the gambler and his/her family. Anyways  it's up to us if we gamble for fun or we gamble for profit.
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March 02, 2024, 04:44:57 PM
 #50

All of that really wouldn't be a problem if your wife/husband basically had a formula for maintaining a balance to prevent unwanted things or situations, but for the most part, they can't do it, it's easier said than done and that's a fact. It is gambling that ultimately is likely to make a person experience rapid changes in many aspects, whether it is in terms of the allocation of money at stake or also in terms of changes in behavior and traits.

Even if you treat gambling reasonably and gamble in moderation at first, there is always the possibility of increasing interest, many people who enter this phase of change end up betting something that is far from "reasonable" or "unreasonable", And of course this is a situation that can interfere with your relationship with your partner in a family where the main problem will be in terms of "money", losing balance in terms of money especially caused by really bad habits such as gambling of course it can trigger new problems such as divorce, so I think this is a problem that is very possible.

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March 02, 2024, 04:49:29 PM
 #51

There are many situations in life in which people can find themselves and suffer, for example a person can have a good job in a large company and earn a lot of money every month, but one day the company goes bankrupt and that person becomes unemployed for many years and be poor, but at that time when that person becomes poor and who will see who are the people who really love them to the point of not having abandoned them in this very difficult moment in their life, when we are at our lowest point, the We suffer a lot and we look around and see how many people are with us and we realize the real number of people who truly love us and that we can count on them at any time and day

in the case of gambling in a scenario where one of the members of a family, be it the husband or wife, plays a game of chance and loses everything, then it is necessary that the member of the family who did not gamble and did not lose anything remains very calm, Don't panic, don't hate the person who lost everything, try to find a solution to the problem, such as seeking medical help for the person who lost everything through gambling so that the doctor can determine the degree of severity of the disease and recommend treatment , and during this period of treatment the patient should not be abandoned, it is very wrong for us to condemn a person after their first mistakes.

Now there are cases in which a person constantly warns another person who plays constantly about the great danger of constantly playing at the casino and about the danger of using money at the casino to pay bills, but even with these many warnings the person does not listen, So in these scenarios when a big disaster happens like the case of a person losing everything in a game of chance, then sometimes it is better for people to separate so that each person can live their own life, because when one person doesn't change even if the other person keep giving him advice, so breaking up is the best solution

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March 02, 2024, 04:53:56 PM
 #52

Life presents us with unexpected challenges, and witnessing a spouse engage in irresponsible gambling that results in significant loss can be deeply painful. While such a situation undoubtedly evokes strong emotions, it's crucial to approach it with compassion, understanding, and a commitment to finding solutions. While the initial reaction may be to express anger and assign blame, this approach ultimately hinders the path towards healing. Shame and stigma directed towards your spouse can exacerbate the situation and impede their willingness to seek help or openly communicate.

Instead, cultivate an environment of empathy and open communication. Initiate a conversation where you can express your feelings and concerns while actively listening to your spouse's perspective. This exchange fosters understanding and paves the way for collaborative solutions. Gambling addiction is a complex issue often rooted in underlying emotional or psychological challenges. Encouraging your spouse to seek professional help from a qualified therapist specializing in addiction treatment is a crucial step in addressing the core issues and developing healthy coping mechanisms.

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March 02, 2024, 04:59:22 PM
 #53

I slightly disagree with you because a gambling match never leads to divorce.But I have seen many gamblers who borrow money from different people to gamble and gamble with that money and lose. What lesson should be learned from that is how he will later repay that loan so his wife. There may be some discussion with. That is why he must control himself so that he can refrain from such betting or gambling later on. However, if he wants to gamble again later on, he needs to be careful not to become addicted to it.
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March 02, 2024, 05:41:27 PM
 #54

It's easy to be blissfully unaware of potential problems when things are going smoothly, right? But in life, especially in relationships, ignorance isn't always bliss. Like in gambling, where ignoring the odds can lead to heavy losses, neglecting potential issues in a relationship can create bigger problems down the road.

Taking an "advanced approach" isn't just about predicting everything that might go wrong. It's about being mindful, communicative, and proactive. It's about acknowledging the possibility of challenges like financial difficulties, including gambling-related losses, and having open conversations with your partner about them. Planning for potential rain doesn't guarantee a sunny day, but it can mitigate the impact when the storm hits. Similarly, discussing potential challenges with your partner doesn't guarantee they'll happen, but it allows you to navigate them together if they do.

Remember, waiting for problems to arise before addressing them is a risky gamble. Open communication and planning are key to building a strong and resilient relationship, just like understanding the odds is crucial for responsible gambling.

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March 02, 2024, 06:03:14 PM
 #55

It has not happen to me because my wife is not a gambler. Anyone that gambles with other people's money is not suppose to be a gambler because, gamblers should have a means of income to take care of their gambling activities, otherwise they will do all sort of things to make sure that they satisfy their gambling urge. If it was my wife I would tell her to quit gambling, because it had shown that she will likely become an addict, that is if she has not already, and she will still gamble with an amount bigger than the one she lost. We shouldn't entrust money to gamblers because they will end up using it to gamble chasing their losses believing that they can win it back.

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March 02, 2024, 06:15:59 PM
 #56

All of that really wouldn't be a problem if your wife/husband basically had a formula for maintaining a balance to prevent unwanted things or situations, but for the most part, they can't do it, it's easier said than done and that's a fact. It is gambling that ultimately is likely to make a person experience rapid changes in many aspects, whether it is in terms of the allocation of money at stake or also in terms of changes in behavior and traits.

Even if you treat gambling reasonably and gamble in moderation at first, there is always the possibility of increasing interest, many people who enter this phase of change end up betting something that is far from "reasonable" or "unreasonable", And of course this is a situation that can interfere with your relationship with your partner in a family where the main problem will be in terms of "money", losing balance in terms of money especially caused by really bad habits such as gambling of course it can trigger new problems such as divorce, so I think this is a problem that is very possible.
That's right, sooner or later the habit of gambling can change a person character due to a simple factor, namely addiction. I think that even though financial balance in a household can be fulfilled, it is not enough to make a family relationship run harmoniously. What I mean by this is that gambling apart from spending money also takes up time, which should be spent with husband/wife and children, this will not happen. So avoiding gambling activities if you are married is indeed better, in order to maintain a peaceful household integrity.

We rarely see a wife experiencing an addiction to gambling, in most cases it is dominated by men. Even if there are maybe only a few women, but if these women have children then it is very fatal, because it will affect their interactions with children directly or indirectly. Therefore, I think it is better for husbands/wives who have a gambling habit to stop, because family values and goals can be lost due to this bad habit.
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March 02, 2024, 06:20:08 PM
 #57

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?

Self imposing negative circumstances into my thinking in life Smiley , I will admit my fault even though I was not the one who directly lost that money, but indirectly I was not able to prevent it measuring action of the mate. But if there is a conflict between husband and wife through this form, you should sit down and look back to see if the relationship really has enough cohesion, the decision to get married is easy, and the story of easy divorce is not the type that I want to choose. Anyway, try to find a way to fill the gap, if your love is big enough to accept all the wrong behavior from the other is the answer I think of.

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March 02, 2024, 06:23:21 PM
 #58

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
If he has won sometimes, it then means he can lose at other sometimes too, so it not a one way cycle because once you win, twice you lose when it comes to gambling.

When there will be a problem is when the spouse hides what he is doing from me and took me by surprise to know that he won all the money from gambling previously and still lose all to gambling without me knowing what truly he is engaged in, but if I am in the know that my spouse gamble and i accept that, it means we should be willing to take whatever outcome for come along the way.

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March 02, 2024, 06:23:33 PM
 #59

When everything's going well, it's cool. But sometimes (often?) money problems lead to divorce. Suppose your spouse/husband gambles a lot, his or her loss/profit ratio is acceptable (so it's fine), but then one day he or she has bet it all and lost it all. You've got nothing left (and no savings either). What's your reaction? Has this ever happened to you?
I really don't get the context of this but I believe it would be crazy to know that your spouse actually gamble alot and you still let especially if you are the man because from am staying gambling isn't something that woman get themselves involved in that much so if I find out that she has gambled all the funds out I would be definitely mad and even look for a way to help because that would be damn right addiction because it's only an addicted person that can gamble till there is nothing left for them.
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March 02, 2024, 06:30:26 PM
 #60

I slightly disagree with you because a gambling match never leads to divorce.But I have seen many gamblers who borrow money from different people to gamble and gamble with that money and lose. What lesson should be learned from that is how he will later repay that loan so his wife. There may be some discussion with. That is why he must control himself so that he can refrain from such betting or gambling later on. However, if he wants to gamble again later on, he needs to be careful not to become addicted to it.
I think this really depends on each individual, for those who can control themselves, they will certainly never gamble until it ends in things that are bad for their household relationships and it has become a habit for those who gamble in the hope of winning every time. Of course they will never be able to win the gambling they play and it would be better for them to reduce their gambling activities so that they don't have problems in their lives.

In my opinion, to be able to avoid addiction, we have to limit gambling activities and have to set limits on the bets we use for gambling and we also have to obey these rules if we don't want ourselves to suffer from gambling addiction.

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