Is marriage a kind of punishment?

[Similificator]

You could never be more wrong with your mindset. Just because a small percentage of people arpund you is like this, it doesn't mean that most men are like what you are saying. Right now I am telling you, not all women feel bad being married. If there is somebody to blame, then blame the chain that binds the children to become what they are when they grow up which is bad culture or tradition. If parents do not dare to change and break this cycle nothing will change. The only thing you can do is spread awareness and make sure your children and grandchildren do mot follow such bad beliefs and practices.

Most atimes marriage seems like a punishment when evil befall you in ur marriage.Lets not forget that so many person's have died because of marriage and so called love.

Some person marry into a place that they don't like them,and in that kind of place,if care is not taken,your life will be terminated because of marriage.

In some parts of the world they see marriage as a do or die affair,while some parts don't see it too important.  But in all,meeting the right person is all that is important.

I see your point. But such things only happen to those who do not know how to have a proper balance between logical thinking and emotional thinking. Too much of anything is never good for anyone. So marriage itself isn't the one who should be taking the blame but the two people within it that acted rashly in the spur of the moment. Which is why divorce came into being so that people who make such mistakes can break free(except for countries that do not legalize divorce). I pity the children though that gets implicated because of the bad decisions of the parents.

For different perspectives, marriage is : sacred, reputation saver, a bridge or a prison. But no matter how it is viewed, the fact that it is a result of a set of prior decisions from both parties never changes.

[1714751573]

1714751573

[PreciousH]

No, marriage is not a kind of punishment. However, marriage becomes impure if there is no mutual understanding between couples. It becomes punishable. So, couples have to understand to each other.

[rby]

No, marriage is not a kind of punishment. However, marriage becomes impure if there is no mutual understanding between couples. It becomes punishable. So, couples have to understand to each other.

There is difference between mutual understanding and the culture of the people. Op mentioned some countries, so we need to know if it is the culture of the people of that place or it is a matter of understanding.
If it is culture what do we say about people that practice feminism.

[Lordhermes]

Marriage is not a punishment,  Marriage involve planning from the couples for things to be easy for the family. That is why couples need to have good agreement concerning the responsibility of the family  to keep moving easily.

Exactly! Compatibility is the major criteria for marriage,the partners must see that they are very compatible before they will choose to marry,else the marriage will turn to be a tug of war.

Most persons marry when they've not known their partner well,and when issues come up,they find it difficult to solve it.

[paxmao]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

It would seem that in your country is kind of a social mandate for females to get married, so there will be cases, many cases, in which it can be considered a painful situation as it is not a choice that they can make and I assume that many times, they get little say on the choice.

It all comes to education and culture. If you think of Scandinavian and central European countries,  even most regions in Southern Europe, the roles are much more balanced. They key is allowing women to get educated and they will never accept a secondary role.

[rby]

The concept of the OP is very true in some society . However, there are certain cultural melliu that made people to forcefully made woman as if they were slaves or house mate. Normally women suppose to be treated as Queen  and not in the other way round.  In our modern times, women also involved in works, business endeavour to assist husband,  therefore  they should not be treated orderwise, except lack of exposure or simplicity allows such.

Saying of treating the woman like a queen. This thing is culture by culture. There is some culture that does not permit the woman to do anything in the house for a particular number of years. There is also a culture that says that women will remain in a particular house and fo nothing apart from eating.
Some culture also do not allow women to work or do any other things apart from being house wives. But people are mixing up and those cultures are going down.

[Iranus]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

It would seem that in your country is kind of a social mandate for females to get married, so there will be cases, many cases, in which it can be considered a painful situation as it is not a choice that they can make and I assume that many times, they get little say on the choice.
It all comes to education and culture. If you think of Scandinavian and central European countries,  even most regions in Southern Europe, the roles are much more balanced. They key is allowing women to get educated and they will never accept a secondary role.

Let me make another point. You two can search on the internet and see the situation of India and Pakistan also China. There are many cases in these countries where a girl is married to someone much older than she is before she reaches the age of puberty.

They are forced to consent to the marriage and even if they do not consent, they are forced to marry, their potential future is ruined.

I'm not saying this happens to everyone or that marriage is a punishment for everyone. But a large section of the population suffers from it and marriage to these victimized girls is hell.

[Tony116]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

It would seem that in your country is kind of a social mandate for females to get married, so there will be cases, many cases, in which it can be considered a painful situation as it is not a choice that they can make and I assume that many times, they get little say on the choice.
It all comes to education and culture. If you think of Scandinavian and central European countries,  even most regions in Southern Europe, the roles are much more balanced. They key is allowing women to get educated and they will never accept a secondary role.

Let me make another point. You two can search on the internet and see the situation of India and Pakistan also China. There are many cases in these countries where a girl is married to someone much older than she is before she reaches the age of puberty.
They are forced to consent to the marriage and even if they do not consent, they are forced to marry, their potential future is ruined.
I'm not saying this happens to everyone or that marriage is a punishment for everyone. But a large section of the population suffers from it and marriage to these victimized girls is hell.

Actually, The situation after marriage is even more horrible ...
The girl has to face marital rape all the time and as a result, she gets pregnant at a young age. We all know the horrors of early pregnancy. Either she gives birth to a disabled child and then she has to be abused by others including her husband.
There are also cases of getting pregnant at a young age and dying while giving birth.
So, marriage is not fantasy for everyone, Some poor girls are continuously suffering by this grinder.

[Zlantann]

The challenge with marriage in Africa is because of its Patriarchal orientation. Men are seen as superior to women. If a man pollutes in the presence of his wife, she tells him "thank you". Men's decision are final, regardless of its consequences on the wife.

But times are changing now. Education and globalization are turning everything around. The reason for the high rate of divorce in Africa now is because women cannot take this maltreatment anymore. Now parents would advice their daughter to seek divorce if the man is misbehaving. But before now, divorce was seen as a taboo.

I have been married for years and respects my wife so much. In fact every decision is debated and rectified by both of us.       

[rby]

The challenge with marriage in Africa is because of its Patriarchal orientation. Men are seen as superior to women. If a man pollutes in the presence of his wife, she tells him "thank you". Men's decision are final, regardless of its consequences on the wife.

But times are changing now. Education and globalization are turning everything around. The reason for the high rate of divorce in Africa now is because women cannot take this maltreatment anymore. Now parents would advice their daughter to seek divorce if the man is misbehaving. But before now, divorce was seen as a taboo.

I have been married for years and respects my wife so much. In fact every decision is debated and rectified by both of us.       

I want to know whether what you call the patriarchal orientation which you said is the major problem of African marriage is an African culture or it was just imported. If it was Africa culture, does it mean that Africa culture is being killed by civilization?
In my own part of the world, there is a great respect for human right. Whether you are the man or the woman, it does not really matter, the law threats every one equal.

[Spontaneous]

Of course it is suppose to be a blessing not some kind of punishment to people, though it depends on how you are being treated in the marriage that makes it a punishment and also a blessing.Because not every man or woman knows how to handle their homes even in the Bible it is said that a woman will leave her family and marry a man to make up her own family so I don't see what's wrong in getting married and what makes it a punishment.

Though it might be sometime the character of the the both couple that will make the marriage like that because I know marriage is a blessing.

  True, marriage is not supposed a punishment, but it depends if you choose the wrong man or wife that could be your decision and not be a punishment you just decided on getting a partner in life cause you are in love and you want both of you to become one forever. Planning marriage is difficult so better to choose a perfect partner.
 

[Lordhermes]

No, marriage is not a punishment, is a bond union,the Bible said he that find a wife find a good thing, marriage thereby depends on the type of choice you make in choosing a oartnet,either man or woman, it depends on you, if you both love yourselve it's
till depend on you both. So marriage is not a kind of punishment if you choose the right partner.

[Quintom]

Mariage is never a punishment not at all,why most people see marriage as punishment is because they rushed into marriages, and by rushing you tend to marry the wrong person, marriage is a lifetime commitment,you and your spouse together forever, one should consider this before getting into marriage, you and whome you want to Marry should take time to study and understand yourselves,because some people can really pretend while dating, when you marry them for some weeks or months you see the real attitude coming up or being displayed, when you both know and understands yourselves no one would take marriage as a punishment it will be enjoyment all through.... Remember till death do ou part, this alone should make u consider before getting into marriage.
Marriage is actually a blessing from God and not  punishment.

[Edith1994]

Marriage is never a punishment, it is union of a man and a woman to become one, it ever woman and every man dreams to have a family and to build a home.

The word PUNISHMENT is the lack of understanding between the two partner, no one wants to lie low for the other the two partner want to be on top.

Secondly Lack of communication: in a home where their is no communication there will never be peace and so on.

In conclusion marriage is never a punishment the punishment is the two partners who are lacking behind in marriage.

[Doan9269]

Marriage should not be a punishment it should be enjoyed, stress free journey, it should be a place where all intending  ladies aspiring  for marriage should feels like a queen in her palace but reverse is the case for most women  due to the problem and pressure encountered by them from husband and in-laws.
Some African men are authoritarian,callous, senseless, self-centered, stingy, with the thought of have made provision for all needs without bothering to give helping hands to the wife turning her to his slave those that are even jobless amidst them always proves being boss over their wife with no sense of any responsibility.

[Lordhermes]

Marriage is a blessing,it is a thing of joy,it is a school that every man and woman needs to go,and it has no graduating date.The date one can graduate is when one is dead.The main purpose of marriage is for child bearing,or procreation. When there is no children in the marriage,it most atimes bring problems between the couple,or sometimes it leads to divorce or seperation.

[Blended@]

Hmmm,l don't really understand your concept on this aspect of marriage or punishment, l can really believe that marriage is punishment brother is depends of the people involved,so my brother marriage is something God honour and the first miracle God perform was in the marriage,an also depend on the understanding of the people involved,infact the truth about marriage is understanding.

[laurenB7742]

The main purpose of marriage is for child bearing,or procreation. When there is no children in the marriage,it most atimes bring problems between the couple,or sometimes it leads to divorce or seperation.

Bro, it's just hilarious, 
Baby production is a part of our life but it is not the main purpose of marriage,, 
I've seen many couples who are failed to birth baby for various medical conditions, sometimes the problems appeared on the wife's side, and sometimes the husband's inability to birth baby.
But, still, they are leading a happy family life.

It is nothing but the poor mentality to divorce someone when she failed to birth baby. No one can do such a nasty thing except people having 3rd class mentality.

[KingScorpio]

it depends a partner can be quite useful not howerver if you both are communists living in a highly taxed country, like germany japan or south korea,

some countries had so much left wing taxation that it has become pointless to marry and have children at all.

only god can help these societies to ever breed again on its own and survive the immigration refugee lobby that tells them fairy tails about good and reliable migrant labour

[Masplanc]

Marriage is not a punishment, husband and wife their role to be played in the family  Marriage involve planning from the couples for things to be easy for the family. That is why couples need to have good agreement concerning the responsibility of the family  to keep moving easily.