Is marriage a kind of punishment?

[BADecker]

Spend a year going with a person before you make the marriage commitment.

Getting married shows that you are humble enough to admit that somebody else (your spouse) knows something that you might not... has a valid point of view even if it is different than yours.

Spending a year dating before committing helps you determine if your potential mate has this kind of humble thinking, as well.

Spending a year dating? Wow that's long! Anyways, I think one doesn't have to stay that long because genuinely, if he or she is bent on pretending just to get what they want, a year would seem like a month for them.
 Where I come from, it's mandatory to at least court for six months but prior to this courtship, you may want to seek God's will. I've seen people rush headfirst into marriage (courtship and all) but still end up unhappy and unfulfilled simply because it was probably not want God wanted for them.

Much of what God wants for people is what they want for themselves. God adapts to people in loads of ways.

The 1-year idea is from Dr. James Dobson... and, it is simply a guide.

People need to realize that when they get married, it is not control thing at all. Rather, it's almost exactly the opposite. It's a blending of two people... their hopes, dreams, ideals, and children.

People should get together with the idea of living their own lives almost separately at the beginning, and start getting used to each other. People need to keep from controlling the other, but rather, respecting the other person's life, even if it seems goofy or wrong in areas. That's what the year of dating is for... to see if it is going to work.


One of the main things to do is to abstain from sexual intercourse during the trial period. Why? Because sex is easy. And being easy and fun, it takes the focus off other things that may be more important for good living relations.

After the year (or whatever time), and the marriage is effected, then the sex part will be way more gratifying and enjoyable. Why? Because the couple has found that they are the right person for each other. They move into it with a firm foundation in their relationship.

This won't stop all divorces, but it will make marriages stronger, and it will lessen divorce.

[alastantiger]

Marriage is not a punishment rather getting married to the wrong person is. Marriage is beautiful and most couples I know have blissful marriages and they are celebrating silver and golden jubilee. A man maltreating his wife or treating her as a slave has nothing to do with the culture or tradition it has more to do with the individual. This is the story of a man who despite getting married to 3 wives still helps out in the kitchen by doing the dishes sometimes. It is a personality issue not a cultural issue.

[Wolfblood200$]

When people get it wrong in marriage  ,it may seem like a punishment especially to the weaker spouse  ,

marriage is a beautiful, pleasurable, promising and profitable partnership  ,

It is very important that people should marry  people that they love,  that they can tolerate, that can assist them to meet up in their shortcomings in finances, social life, qualifications , sexual activeness,  religious beliefs and so on.

And again,  it is good to  marry someone you're compatible with and have an understanding together because marriage will not always be rosy,  there will be up and down moments but understanding ,tolerance and good virtues will get you through when tough times surfaces

[348Judah]

Remembering that marriage is the only institution whereby you got certified before starting, yet every marriage needs a tolerance for each other to be abke to adapt together, knowing that two has become one in union of a lifetime contract of together forever, marriage needs patience, love and endurance, this makes it a good thing that before any marriage comes in a courtship relationship to help get each other along.

[Ebede]

From my perspective and the research I made so far I have understand that marriage is a punishment because when you have not understand your partner and you have not be able to know each character and happened to Mary and a little crisis involved into the marriage life it is when you will notice that marriage is a punishment for people that do not have understanding or is not capable of shortening or handling issues

[Belarge]

Marriage is not punishment,I think marriage should be an aggrement between two persons of different genders that are in love.
it might be punishment if your are married to your spouse under duress, or you are been maltreated by your spouse, but the society today maltreatment doesn't come from the husband alone, I have seen women in marriage that maltreats their husbands..

But I will love to advise youths out there, please get married when you are ready, marriage is not a matter of age anymore, don't marry under peer pressure,
Marry because of love and peace, so it won't be a punishment as the time goes on..

There's no perfect marriage anywhere, marriage is all about love and tolerance,
 up till now my father and my mother still dey quarrel but them no divorce because them love themselves...

And before marriage, please you and your spouse should go for marriage counseling, seeks advices to know the duties of a man and a woman in their homes and abide by them...

Concerning house chores, I think the house chores are not limited to women alone, the men should help when they are less busy, the cleaning,the cooking etc,

I will take an example from my dad, for our house na my papa dey even cook pass, en dey always help my mama..

[Queentoshi]

From my perspective and the research I made so far I have understand that marriage is a punishment because when you have not understand your partner and you have not be able to know each character and happened to Mary and a little crisis involved into the marriage life it is when you will notice that marriage is a punishment for people that do not have understanding or is not capable of shortening or handling issues

That is from your own point of view based on what you have seen or come a crossed, marriage is a wonderful thing, because "A" marriage is not working out doesn't mean the marriage that "B" and "C" are in is not working too. When one gets married to the right person, then you know that marriage is a blessing but when you marry the wrong person that is when you will see marriage as punishment. Marriage is an agreement between two people coming together to become one, so the truth of the matter is marriage is not a punishment, one just has to pray for him or her to find the right partner that they can spend the rest of their life with.

[Sexylizzy2813]

The truth of the matter is that marriage is not only about an expression of love between two people. It's legally and socially sanctioned institution which continues to benefit men at the expense of women, but not all men that have the upper hand over women, sometimes is the opposite. Particularly through reinforcement and maintenance of traditional gender role where men are the breadwinner of the family and the women does the house chores and taking care of the children, sometimes too it can be the woman who's the breadwinner but that doesn't stop the man from doing what he has to do as the man of the house and as the woman being the breadwinner she does the house chores that's in some cases not every women would do that after going out to hustle like the man (pride), the thing is just communication. That's why I said earlier that marriage isn't all about love, communication has a key role to play.

[onecall123]

From my perspective and the research I made so far I have understand that marriage is a punishment because when you have not understand your partner and you have not be able to know each character and happened to Mary and a little crisis involved into the marriage life it is when you will notice that marriage is a punishment for people that do not have understanding or is not capable of shortening or handling issues

But what if your partner tends to be arrogant most of the time? It can be challenging to deal with arrogance in a marriage, especially if you're in a close relationship with your spouse. It may be necessary to set clear boundaries and consequences if your partner's behavior is consistently affecting your well-being. Yes, it may be possible to reduce feelings of arrogance and improve the relationship.

[Gracejoy]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

Marriage is a beautiful, people might see it as punishment when the resources to oil the marriage is not there, if you plan well before going into marriage you in enjoy it well

[Ebede]

We have discussed on this particular chapter on page for a long time but I still said the same thing about marriage is understanding and the if you don't have the understanding you cannot get married and the last into the marriage life why some people said that marriage is punishment because then failed to understand the scoops of marriage from the beginning

[Newlifebtc]

We have discussed on this particular chapter on page for a long time but I still said the same thing about marriage is understanding and the if you don't have the understanding you cannot get married and the last into the marriage life why some people said that marriage is punishment because then failed to understand the scoops of marriage from the beginning

But remember that marriage is something that we have to take as a knowledge and the marriage is punishment when you are not prepared to enter into marriage so it is when you find it as a very difficult things and also a punishment in life so I think that hope he is right by saying that marriage is a punishment

[BADecker]

Saint Paul says it this way, 1 Corinthians 7:28:

But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

Of course, Solomon says it this way, Proverbs 18:22:

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

Of course, Solomon was shrewd and right. He had a kingdom to run, and the more kids, the more future taxes, and the larger the military. But... of a truth, God wants more people to populate the world.

[Zlantann]

We have discussed on this particular chapter on page for a long time but I still said the same thing about marriage is understanding and the if you don't have the understanding you cannot get married and the last into the marriage life why some people said that marriage is punishment because then failed to understand the scoops of marriage from the beginning

But remember that marriage is something that we have to take as a knowledge and the marriage is punishment when you are not prepared to enter into marriage so it is when you find it as a very difficult things and also a punishment in life so I think that hope he is right by saying that marriage is a punishment

Some people can never successfully get married. Any abusive husband shouldn't expect a smooth marriage. You can't treat your wife or husband as a slave and expect royal treatment. My heart bleeds each time I see a man treat women like trash. If you want the best out of marriage always respect your spouse both in the house and outside.

Before you get married you have to work on yourself. In marriage you must adjust because you can never get everything you desire, your wife or children will also make you endure some discomfort.

If you are not willing to tolerate and endure sacrifice, just forget about marriage because it's hard work. But I can vouch that marriage is a beautiful thing. I love my wife so much and I know she loves me more than I do. I have so much trust in her and she treats me and the children like royalty. I pray we grow old and take the path to eternity together.

[Flydolphine]

For marriage to be said to be  imprisonment,that would depend on a whole lot of factors among which are the kind of person you married which ultimately would define your experiences.But in my opinion marital relationship is supposed to be enjoyable when the right keys that make for  successful union is engaged i.e knowledge and understanding

[BADecker]

I worked with three brothers who had 22 siblings, all from the same mother. The kids are all grown up with families of their own, and the parents are wealthy now because of it.

[Newtonia]

Saying that marriage is punishment for women will be misappropriation of the fact that we live in the world, I say this because in the world we live today we have different types of people with different views about life, those who see it as punishment are those who fail to understand the core values of one another in marriage. Some say the marry to have children while some others appreciate the union which he has vowed upon. For me I will say it is what a husband and a wife wants it to be.

[blockman]

Saying that marriage is punishment for women will be misappropriation of the fact that we live in the world, I say this because in the world we live today we have different types of people with different views about life, those who see it as punishment are those who fail to understand the core values of one another in marriage. Some say the marry to have children while some others appreciate the union which he has vowed upon. For me I will say it is what a husband and a wife wants it to be.

It's a punishment if there's a mistreatment. There are serious relationships that ends up into being enemies because of their settlement. No closure and treatment didn't go well for both parties.
Marriage could really be a blessing for most but can also be a curse for some especially those fixed marriages and were just forced to worry due to some religious and business rules.

[Strongkored]

Right now I often watch TV series from India and it's about family and also husband and wife who have problems and eventually separate, a lot appears in the serial scene how the wife is not respected not only by her husband but also mother in-laws indeed this is just a fictional story but we can't deny that what is shown is often what happens in real life and in this story there are also couples who have no problems in their marriage because they can respect each other.
So marriage is not a punishment even unmarried people at the age that should be married is also said to be a punishment in many countries because their culture says so, marriage will be a punishment when we marry someone who cannot accept our existence by completely only seeing our partner as a person will fulfill our life's needs, the husband expects the wife to do all the household chores and the wife expects the husband to fulfill all their daily needs as well as her desires, marriage will be a happy thing if we can respect each other and are committed to continuing to make each other happy.

Saying that marriage is punishment for women will be misappropriation of the fact that we live in the world, I say this because in the world we live today we have different types of people with different views about life, those who see it as punishment are those who fail to understand the core values of one another in marriage. Some say the marry to have children while some others appreciate the union which he has vowed upon. For me I will say it is what a husband and a wife wants it to be.

That is why before marriage do pre-marital counseling and equate perceptions about marriage and also whether to have children or not will be very important to avoid such problems.

[rangga28]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

yes. some of the reality that we see today is true as you say.
But not all men treat women like that after they are married. It is indeed a man's duty after he is married he is responsible for providing for his family. But apart from his job, not a few men also help partly or share time with their wife to do the housework.
In my opinion, it depends on how a man views his marital status.
The bottom line. Not all marriage relationships are burdensome to women.