Is marriage a kind of punishment?

[NgoLina]

Marriage as instituted by God is not made to be a punishment.  It is not a punishment when both the man and woman understand themselves and their individual roles and respect each other.  Some marriages are  punishment ,especially in  Nigeria. So many  Women are maltreated and abused all round by their husbands and have remained in such marriages. I had a personal experience about this.

[akram143]

Without proper understanding between each other in future it is going to be a punishment for sure, in some countries women are treated as slave but not everywhere it means that women is ignorant about her freedom and living her life as a slave.But who is smart enough will choose their partner who helps her in every kind of situation.

[CryptocurencyKing]

in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything.

Perhaps there is a role play for every family and gender but then, if you can really look at the series of activities men do as per work and most of the weighty duties, the line of thought might be different and complimentary.

[Lordhermes]

I have mostly noticed that in Africa only where such punishment happened, it is been said before the togetherness that whatever should happen in the marriage should be controlled by both. Now, this thing you might have think is punishment is a culture in different place unlike that can't be done in America, African especially have that respect for their husband as cautioned by wife parents, and this is the most vital role a woman must play as a good wife.
Here it is, its all depends in agreement of responsibility, not all husband can do the cooking, nanny, housekeeper, cleaning, things so you can't expect that from him, its takes few men to do all of that on a natural level. The end point of every marriage is peace and love, so if any of the partners is not feeling cheated, bullied, oppressed, so its a good one for the woman to continue the hard work.

[Chrystora123]

marriage is not a punishment but a process of survival..  life must go on, you work all your life, you will definitely leave behind your wealth and it would be very strange if you only gave up the wealth that you are painstakingly looking for to other people who are not your descendants.  Marriage is not as cruel as many people think, many say that getting married will only create new difficulties such as children and other costs, it is true that when you get married it will create new difficulties, but when you get married you will find a new focus and new purpose, which is to make your wife and children happy.  therefore, if you have found suitable opposite sex then immediately get married..

[Mauser]

marriage is not a punishment but a process of survival..  life must go on, you work all your life, you will definitely leave behind your wealth and it would be very strange if you only gave up the wealth that you are painstakingly looking for to other people who are not your descendants.  Marriage is not as cruel as many people think, many say that getting married will only create new difficulties such as children and other costs, it is true that when you get married it will create new difficulties, but when you get married you will find a new focus and new purpose, which is to make your wife and children happy.  therefore, if you have found suitable opposite sex then immediately get married..

Marriage seems a life model of the past. The world is changing in the last decades. With 50% of the marriages today falling its really the question why go into that risk of just divorcing in 10-15 years? The world moves so much faster today than in the past. None of my closest friends are married yet, most of them in a relationship for more than 5 years and still not interested in marriage. Same for having a family. Now with 30 years even the woman don't want any kids yet. Its more about having a good job and life. Maybe this will change in 5 tears again. Who knows.

[Salauddin1994]

Marriage is an integral part of every human life. It is not a punishment but marriage is required to play the role of one's family in life. From the point of view of Islam, marriage has been made obligatory on every man and woman. according to the current situation in the country people are getting established first and then getting married. Age is not a barrier here. It is not a punishment it is the security of old age and it is an attempt to respect each other.

[coolcoinz]

Marriage is an integral part of every human life. It is not a punishment but marriage is required to play the role of one's family in life. From the point of view of Islam, marriage has been made obligatory on every man and woman. according to the current situation in the country people are getting established first and then getting married. Age is not a barrier here. It is not a punishment it is the security of old age and it is an attempt to respect each other.

We know about the way you treat your 9 year old brides. Different understanding of the age of consent is really not the best point to make in this discussion unless you want to talk about pedophilia.

[BADecker]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

The problems you talk about are real. The reasons for them are several.

The woman was made by God to be the helper for the man. That's why she is out there doing all the errands she does for the man. It's also why she allows herself to get into positions of overwork. It's in her nature to help the guy.

Everybody likes riding high. Because of this, the man forgets the hard labor that the woman is doing. It shouldn't be this way. But it happens. To make it worse, often the man has a mean streak.

The man should be loving and considerate, and help the woman. If he is, he finds that the woman (usually) will help him all the more. But guys are stupid in this way, much of the time.

Guys need to remember than they will lose their strength and get old sometime. They will need children to help support them. Women bear the children and do much of the raising of the children. Since mom is loved greatly by the children, it will be to dad's benefit to treat mom right. Then the kids won't be against dad. Rather, they will help him in his old age, just like they learned from mom to do while they were in their formative years. After all, kids might love their dads. But they won't be so happy with him if he doesn't treat mom right.

[target]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

The problems you talk about are real. The reasons for them are several.

The woman was made by God to be the helper for the man. That's why she is out there doing all the errands she does for the man. It's also why she allows herself to get into positions of overwork. It's in her nature to help the guy.

Everybody likes riding high. Because of this, the man forgets the hard labor that the woman is doing. It shouldn't be this way. But it happens. To make it worse, often the man has a mean streak.

The man should be loving and considerate, and help the woman. If he is, he finds that the woman (usually) will help him all the more. But guys are stupid in this way, much of the time.

Guys need to remember than they will lose their strength and get old sometime. They will need children to help support them. Women bear the children and do much of the raising of the children. Since mom is loved greatly by the children, it will be to dad's benefit to treat mom right. Then the kids won't be against dad. Rather, they will help him in his old age, just like they learned from mom to do while they were in their formative years. After all, kids might love their dads. But they won't be so happy with him if he doesn't treat mom right.

It all depends how the mom will raise the kids.  There are kids that will kill thier parents all for insurance, tis been happenning every time. I would rather be alone and old in the Retirement house than living with kids that you know will slit your with just one signal from their mother.

You know what makes hell for a family?  Its the in-laws.

[BADecker]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

The problems you talk about are real. The reasons for them are several.

The woman was made by God to be the helper for the man. That's why she is out there doing all the errands she does for the man. It's also why she allows herself to get into positions of overwork. It's in her nature to help the guy.

Everybody likes riding high. Because of this, the man forgets the hard labor that the woman is doing. It shouldn't be this way. But it happens. To make it worse, often the man has a mean streak.

The man should be loving and considerate, and help the woman. If he is, he finds that the woman (usually) will help him all the more. But guys are stupid in this way, much of the time.

Guys need to remember than they will lose their strength and get old sometime. They will need children to help support them. Women bear the children and do much of the raising of the children. Since mom is loved greatly by the children, it will be to dad's benefit to treat mom right. Then the kids won't be against dad. Rather, they will help him in his old age, just like they learned from mom to do while they were in their formative years. After all, kids might love their dads. But they won't be so happy with him if he doesn't treat mom right.

It all depends how the mom will raise the kids.  There are kids that will kill thier parents all for insurance, tis been happenning every time. I would rather be alone and old in the Retirement house than living with kids that you know will slit your with just one signal from their mother.

You know what makes hell for a family?  Its the in-laws.

Dads and moms need to raise the kids jointly. Anybody who doesn't treat his kids right - with both discipline and love - isn't going to have right kids. However, you can treat some people in the best way possible, and they will still be bad. Most kids won't kill their parents if their parents treated them right while they were growing up. In fact, there are kids who live in poverty who, after they are grown, still treat their parents with great respect.

[akram143]

It all depends how the mom will raise the kids.  There are kids that will kill thier parents all for insurance, tis been happenning every time. I would rather be alone and old in the Retirement house than living with kids that you know will slit your with just one signal from their mother.

You know what makes hell for a family?  Its the in-laws.

If you are going to raise a kid who is not going to bother about killing their parents just to get money then the parents are to be blamed.People rarely do the things as you said for some hate towards their parents basically due to the sex abuses in their childhood.

[gbrendeh]

Well, all depends on the type of person one choose as a life partner. Woman needs to be treated like a royal queen always while providing all the necessary assistance that will make her most comfortable.

[Cryptonuele]

To my own observation marriage is a directive from God to human kind, the Lord made it clear that we should go into the world and multiply.

[samputin]

the word "punish" is  a bit too far. I agree though that women nowadays are treated like slaves as it is happening here in the Philippines. For me, its unfair if we let our wives do all the household chores. Everyone who lives in that house should help each other and split the chores. Marriage for me is a gift, is a way of accepting a person wholeheartedly and love him/her until your last breath. If you love a person, you would not allow that person to do all the tasks while you sit and relax. If you love your wife/husband, you should spend time working together on chores and discuss the chores thoroughly so everything will be organize.

I have two brothers and that's what our mother often tells them — that just because they are guys doesn't mean they shouldn't know how to do household chores. Guys and gals should both know how to work inside the house. Same in marriage. They should both work for the good of their relationship.

I know I'm not in a position to say this for I am not married but this is my belief. Marriage should not be a punishment but a partnership. Both of them have to work together to make things work. It takes two to tango, as a saying goes. Man may be the one who takes home money for their living but they should not mistreat his wife. And vice versa.

[akram143]

To my own observation marriage is a directive from God to human kind, the Lord made it clear that we should go into the world and multiply.

Really? If he wanted then he could simply created the number of people he wanted than asking them to multiply on their own.

And to multiply the marriage is not really needed, all you need is to mate with your opposite sex partner until she gets pregnant.

[coolcoinz]

It all depends how the mom will raise the kids.  There are kids that will kill thier parents all for insurance, tis been happenning every time. I would rather be alone and old in the Retirement house than living with kids that you know will slit your with just one signal from their mother.

You know what makes hell for a family?  Its the in-laws.

If you are going to raise a kid who is not going to bother about killing their parents just to get money then the parents are to be blamed.People rarely do the things as you said for some hate towards their parents basically due to the sex abuses in their childhood.

It's not always the fault of the parents. Children can have genetic inclinations to violence. Some kids are born with psychopathic tendencies and if parent's don't notice it early those tendencies will continue to develop. It is partially the fault of the parents but the kid doesn't have to be abused or neglected to become a murderer.

[UmerIdrees]

Marriage as instituted by God is not made to be a punishment.  It is not a punishment when both the man and woman understand themselves and their individual roles and respect each other.  Some marriages are  punishment ,especially in  Nigeria. So many  Women are maltreated and abused all round by their husbands and have remained in such marriages. I had a personal experience about this.

Marriage is not a punishment but a blessing for both the Man and Woman. There are few backward areas in third world countries where you will find women being treated badly after the marriage. However you cannot say this is because of marriage, in some areas women are considered as second citizens and this has nothing to do with marriages.

[BADecker]

Marriage is a blessing for the family.

When a man and woman get together, there is an exchange of body fluids. This exchange provides both of them with immune system protections that they don't have, but the other one has. This is why marrying close relatives is not good. Rather, it's a build-up of immune system weaknesses.

The uniting done in the marriage is a protection for the offspring.

Having children is a trust issue. Like a trust, the man is the grantor, the woman is the trustee, and the children are beneficiaries. If people looked at it this way, they would either stop having kids, or become honest in their care for their kids.

Marriage can be a great blessing if done in the right way. But it can be like a curse if done in the wrong way.

[boyptc]

Well, all depends on the type of person one choose as a life partner. Woman needs to be treated like a royal queen always while providing all the necessary assistance that will make her most comfortable.

In modern days.

This is unlikely. To some, yes but if we're going to compare and include all of the marriages, there are unhappy and unhealthy marriages. I agree with you that it's all up to the person who he or she will choose the love of their lives.

It's a big factor which will have a big impact to their future.