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Author Topic: Gambling by financial dependents.  (Read 3660 times)
ethereumhunter
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August 19, 2023, 05:38:07 AM
 #101

I don't think the forum is the right place to judge your nephew. Unless more information related to his activities are shared here none of us can judge him. Do remember every addict would always defend themselves by telling lies. If cash is missing from the house then things have gone from bad to worst. Just by talking you cannot judge or conclude whether he is a responsible gambler. My recommendation would be to keep an eye on him and if things look worst then necessary actions should be taken against him.
We can only advise him to approach his nephew and talk privately and try to explain about the dangers of gambling so that his nephew understands and can leave slowly before it's too late to realize. Young people their age need to take a different approach from adults because they tend to be sensitive if someone approaches them and suspects them. They will protect themselves so that others cannot influence them, especially those who are not too close to them.

But I think he can try to talk to his nephew privately and make him aware of all the dangers that can be caused by gambling. It may take time for him to accept what @ OP explained and digest it properly. Embrace him like your own child even though he is @OP's nephew and treat him well, later he will understand the intent and purpose of @OP speaking like that.

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August 19, 2023, 06:13:30 AM
 #102

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

      -     Simply telling your child to stop gambling is not enough to make him take action to stop. You need to be able to explain it properly so that he can understand, so that he will stop voluntarily because he knows the reason why he needs to stop.

Yes, it may be right that in another angle of his gambling he is responsible, but of course we should not let him lead to the chance that he will become addicted to gambling, this is just my reminder.

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August 19, 2023, 06:28:33 AM
 #103

This should be stopped at the right time, if not he could end up with addiction. During their school education they shouldn't be exposed to such activities. Nowadays this is really difficult, it is the parents responsibility to explain the student in this best way and keep him away from gambling. Once started to experience the addiction, surely it'll keep them follow it unlike the scenario around them.
Financial freedom is the ultimate priorities of everyone in the universe, we need it to achieved our goals and paying our bills independently. That alone will puts respect on your name without been a dependent clause on your guardians. Gambling is present and legal, specifically now that's online, which is easily accessible to everyone without differentiating the age number level. Gambling are not meant for teenagers, rather by working class individuals, those that have a profession going. Teenagers who gamble should be urged to quit because it would be the beginning of their down fall.
I agree financial freedom is something everyone needs but parental intervention is essential for children and teenagers. If they give up everything, they become addicted to gambling and put their lives at risk. Parents have the biggest responsibility to stop teenage gambling addiction. Measures should be taken to prevent the child from misusing the smartphone by monitoring who the child is interacting with and what they are doing on the mobile all the time. We should refrain ourselves from gambling. If necessary, those with whom there is a danger of becoming addicted to gambling if you keep friendship or associate with them, those dishonest company should be left.

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August 19, 2023, 06:35:53 AM
 #104

but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?
This is easy, the advice should be for the mother that limits the budget of the boy so that he doesn't have much to gamble. Just go to the roots of why this boy can gamble, so if there's not that much money then that only means that he's got a limited move and can't deposit much.
That will serve as a forced lesson to the boy and I think that he'll learn that when he starts to feel that the budget was lessened. Although a possible rebelling action and recoil could happen but expect the positive side and effect.

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August 19, 2023, 07:33:21 AM
 #105

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

Since your nephew is already 18 years old there isn't much his mother or the rest of your family can do. As long as it's legal for him to enjoy gambling then trying to stop him is going to be very hard. Many young people these days enjoy gambling without becoming addicted and starting to steal from friends and family. In my opinion it's a good sign that he is so open about his new interest in gambling, I would be more concerned if he starts lying about his new habit. As for his mother I can understand that she is concerned and would like for him to stop, unfortunately he is 18 and can make his own decision. If she is his only source of income at the moment while in university, then she can say that he shouldn't use his money for gambling. Or lower his monthly allowance if he has too much spare money available for gambling. How about finding a compromise instead? Your nephew could look for a small student job where he earns some money part time and then it doesn't feel like his mother would give him money for gambling.


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August 19, 2023, 12:45:31 PM
 #106

Well, the mother cannot force him to stop because he is never going to, but calmly, if he's being advised on the reasons why not to gamble, then he might stop, and to get him to stop, you will also be giving him some advice, asking him to heed the mother's advice. If the guy is truly not gambling with his mom's money or even stealing to gamble, then there's nothing wrong; gambling is not a bad thing. Although the woman should just take her time to access the boy and know if he is stealing from her, there are ways to tempt him and see if he falls into the temptation of stealing to gamble. If he is not, just advise her to let her son gamble.
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August 19, 2023, 01:00:04 PM
 #107

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.
Nowadays it is very difficult to tell what you kid is doing, what they are capable of doing or not. Digitalization has weakend family bonds. Because at age 18 why would a kid without a job , who is still dependent on his parents be gambling? It is getting increasingly hectic to keep tabs on one's kids. The gambling industry seems like it is out there look for the next teenager newbie to prey on.

Your aunt should better assume her son is already addicted to gambling. She should get him engaged in a serious activity. Something that would afford him no time to think about gambling. It could be a physical activity or a competitive activity.

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August 19, 2023, 01:04:45 PM
 #108

Although the woman should just take her time to access the boy and know if he is stealing from her, there are ways to tempt him and see if he falls into the temptation of stealing to gamble. If he is not, just advise her to let her son gamble.
Tempting will not always work, it will work if there are only two people live in the house. If there's another person who's live in there, there's a chance if his father is actually steal her money or the sister steal the her money etc. The woman think it's her son did it and she already blame her son, usually parent has a high ego, they will not want to admit they were wrong.

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August 19, 2023, 01:20:27 PM
 #109

Well, the mother cannot force him to stop because he is never going to, but calmly, if he's being advised on the reasons why not to gamble, then he might stop, and to get him to stop, you will also be giving him some advice, asking him to heed the mother's advice. If the guy is truly not gambling with his mom's money or even stealing to gamble, then there's nothing wrong; gambling is not a bad thing. Although the woman should just take her time to access the boy and know if he is stealing from her, there are ways to tempt him and see if he falls into the temptation of stealing to gamble. If he is not, just advise her to let her son gamble.
When it comes to gambling, people won't easily accept the reality when briefed by a person next to them. Only on experience they'll understand the reality. The mother can restrict him, but these days kids are not in a state to understand rather they try to explore. The habit of using the savings for gambling will make him further go earn to gamble as years pass. Such scenario shouldn't happen, before that necessary measures need to be taken by his family.

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August 19, 2023, 01:29:11 PM
 #110

What will be your advice for this young boy?
No suggestions, since online gambling sites are easy to access, including minors who are still in school, it's hard to handle it, because things like this are common nowadays, In almost every country where children under the age of 18 are involved in gambling, it's just that parents really think about what to do for their child's future.

There is no way to advise children, except: parents must make a decision to send their children to school, schools that have dormitories, with rules that children may not carry an android cellphone while in the hostel etc., he is really taught to learn.

This method was once used by my neighbor and the results were extraordinary, now the child is no longer gambling, so it's good that this is what must be done in such a problem, if the child still lives with his parents, do not expect him to stop gambling, even if the money used is his own, there is a need to worry if it is not resolved immediately, it is very possible that an act of theft, robbery, etc., is already in front of the child's eyes, just waiting for the time and opportunity to do it.

R


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August 19, 2023, 01:30:59 PM
 #111

 What I can say is that as long as the son is eighteen (18) years old he has the right to do what he thinks is right after all gambling is not a bad thing, if the mother thinks her son is stealing from her she should just asked her son and if the boy said no she should let go because from day one she gave birth to the boy she should have known what her son can do and what he can not do, although some parents as long as they finds out that any of their children is a gambler or takes hard drugs if anything go missing they will start accusing the child because they thinks the child is no longer on he's or her right senses, some good parents knows what their children can do they can even take an oath for their children when it comes for stealing accusations.
It will be a good endeavor if people at the age of twenty (20) downward try the best to keep their gambling or hard drugs behaviors away from their parents so that their parents can still trust them.

R


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Teraboy
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August 19, 2023, 01:35:40 PM
 #112

but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?
This is easy, the advice should be for the mother that limits the budget of the boy so that he doesn't have much to gamble. Just go to the roots of why this boy can gamble, so if there's not that much money then that only means that he's got a limited move and can't deposit much.
That will serve as a forced lesson to the boy and I think that he'll learn that when he starts to feel that the budget was lessened. Although a possible rebelling action and recoil could happen but expect the positive side and effect.
thats good solution since the problem here is the fact that he is not getting the money himself through working but instead its his mother that working hard so his mother simply reserves all the rights on what to do and what to allocates her money for.
I think it could also give a way to teach him a lesson like you said and even motivates him to earn some money through real hard work so that he can use it all he wants.
the problem here is that if he is spending more and more money his family economy would eventually collapse and this will lead to poverty.
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August 19, 2023, 02:04:07 PM
 #113

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

He is not worried but has a problem. Perhaps, she would be worried more because her son is gambling, not just a simple gaming activity. She would stop her son as early as possible before he totally fall into a gambling addiction. She would have not let the worse thing happen because it was hard to stop it once addicted and yes, stealing could be possible.

We should have to educate young minds about gambling and must tell them the real thing - they must know the negative impact on their life in order for them to discourage.

R


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August 19, 2023, 04:53:30 PM
 #114

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

He is not worried but has a problem. Perhaps, she would be worried more because her son is gambling, not just a simple gaming activity. She would stop her son as early as possible before he totally fall into a gambling addiction. She would have not let the worse thing happen because it was hard to stop it once addicted and yes, stealing could be possible.

We should have to educate young minds about gambling and must tell them the real thing - they must know the negative impact on their life in order for them to discourage.

But one is not supposed to over react either. Sure, it is good for anyone who is young and inexperienced to be aware of the risks of gambling in the long term, but not all the gamblers are destined to become addicted to their hobby.

There are people out there who are gamblers and one would not even notice, because they are able to control their feelings and their money.
It is a matter of paying attention to him to see whether he starts to behave in a different way and he loses the control over his finances. As long as he keeps a healthy budget and can stick to it, then gambling would not be harmful to him or anyone around him.

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August 19, 2023, 06:38:39 PM
 #115

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

He is not worried but has a problem. Perhaps, she would be worried more because her son is gambling, not just a simple gaming activity. She would stop her son as early as possible before he totally fall into a gambling addiction. She would have not let the worse thing happen because it was hard to stop it once addicted and yes, stealing could be possible.

We should have to educate young minds about gambling and must tell them the real thing - they must know the negative impact on their life in order for them to discourage.

But one is not supposed to over react either. Sure, it is good for anyone who is young and inexperienced to be aware of the risks of gambling in the long term, but not all the gamblers are destined to become addicted to their hobby.

There are people out there who are gamblers and one would not even notice, because they are able to control their feelings and their money.
It is a matter of paying attention to him to see whether he starts to behave in a different way and he loses the control over his finances. As long as he keeps a healthy budget and can stick to it, then gambling would not be harmful to him or anyone around him.

For a young man like OP's nephew, he will learn eventually after losing money and circumstances change where there are more things to spend on than playing slot. Young men always commit mistakes they learn eventually how easy it is to spend someone else hard-earned pay while hard to spend the money you worked so much.
 
Not being able to learn all these will really make the guy dependent all his life. It's pathetic to see a grown man asking Mommy for money so he could play slot.


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August 19, 2023, 06:41:19 PM
 #116

This depends on the person to be fair, we can't just brush them with the same stroke all together. There will be some gamblers who will steal from their parents or go down a bad path and I understand the fear and that makes sense. But also there will be some who will be smart enough to just put in a little work and only make small returns as well. This is why I need to make sure that we need to receive a situation based on the person and not the situation.

If you look at the situation and say "oh they are getting money from their parents, so they should not gamble" that doesn't make sense, I mean sure, if you are young don't gamble, in fact nobody should gamble if we look at it financially being responsible point of view, what we are doing here is not financially responsible at all, but we still do it.

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August 19, 2023, 06:55:07 PM
 #117

First of all they should clear out the misunderstanding about the money. I don't understand why a mother blames her son without proof, just because she feels like he's stealing her money and the son complains to OP that he's never  stolen anything and only uses his own money to gamble. Why do they use OP as a third party mediator or something?

Get them to sit down and talk. If they can't talk, help them, since they both trust you. Make sure this case is close and they stop blaming each other. If there's no proof the mother should start looking for another suspect, and/or hide her money better so that nobody can steal it. Are there more people in the house? Maybe someone else took the money? They shouldn't live in such a toxic relationship.

If he's really gambling using his pocket money and the mother wants no part in it, she should stop giving it to him.

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August 19, 2023, 06:56:22 PM
 #118

Although the woman should just take her time to access the boy and know if he is stealing from her, there are ways to tempt him and see if he falls into the temptation of stealing to gamble. If he is not, just advise her to let her son gamble.
Tempting will not always work, it will work if there are only two people live in the house. If there's another person who's live in there, there's a chance if his father is actually steal her money or the sister steal the her money etc. The woman think it's her son did it and she already blame her son, usually parent has a high ego, they will not want to admit they were wrong.
There are people that can do anything in order to gamble and we should not be surprised when we see people gambling and using there hard earned money to pay bet just because they want to win. I have seen someone that used the money that his father asked him to pay for hospital bill of his uncle and to everyone surprise, he uses the fund to play bet thinking that he is going to make profits that he will use to take care of himself but the contrary was the case. This happens when to us or people around us when the gambling spirit has eaten them to the core making them to misbehave.

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August 19, 2023, 09:26:35 PM
 #119

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?

      -     Simply telling your child to stop gambling is not enough to make him take action to stop. You need to be able to explain it properly so that he can understand, so that he will stop voluntarily because he knows the reason why he needs to stop.

I agree we should made it clear that he it is disrespectful to spend the money his parents gave to him to gambling.  We should let him know that it is irresponsible to waste the money his parents work so hard so that he can meet his needs.  As a dependent, he must use the money or allowance he received on the essential needs and save the rest for worse scenario.

Yes, it may be right that in another angle of his gambling he is responsible, but of course we should not let him lead to the chance that he will become addicted to gambling, this is just my reminder.

It is not being responsible to gamble while a person is depending on his parents.  Responsible spending means not wasting any amount given by our parents through gambling.  We can only have the right to gamble the money if the money is hardly earned by ourselves.
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August 19, 2023, 09:48:20 PM
 #120

A family member reported to me that her eighteen years old son has started gambling. She is not worried that he is gaming but her problem is that he is a student that solely depends on her for everything he needs. Her fear is also that her son might start stealing from her if he has no access to the money he needs to gamble. My relative has even started suspecting that some money she feels was misplaced might have been stolen by her son.

I spoke to my nephew and he told me that he has never stolen from his mother to gamble. And he gambles with only his savings from his weekly stipend he receives from the family. And he won't gamble if he has no savings to do that. From my observation, he is a responsible gambler that is just enjoying the game and making a little money occasionally. The gambling age in my country is 18+, but his mother is insisting that he must stop. What will be your advice for this young boy?
The problem in this case isn't gambling itself, but the possibility the son is stealing money from the mother. That is a very serious issue. He said to not have stolen anything, but if it wasn't he, who was it, then? I think for a mother to accuse her own son of such terrible crime it means she has strong evidences of that, correct? Because when you point your finger to someone calling him a thief, you are directly attacking the honor of this person, so you must be sure of what you are doing.

What I can say is that this situation should be further investigated before reaching any conclusions here.
If he wont be stopping on engaging with gambling then sooner or later his son would definitely be stealing up something from her which it is really that a huge problem specially on family-related issues or problems which needs to be cut-off or needed up some solution. We know that active dealing with gambling could really be potentially be making you that an addicted person and this is a must thing that

should really be avoided but scolding out your children wont do something good but rather they would become that rebelious.This is why i do agree on some points that in order to solve this one then
better talk one on one with your child and telling them on stopping or minimizing on doing gambling because it doesnt really give out that good financial status or condition but rather on too much spending on leisure or entertainment is always that not a good step to make. Cutting off the allowance might be the key but on the time that you are on a tough situation then this would might spark out
on making your child stealing specially if the addiction is severe.
This is a tough task to educate this individual on the currently stage of his life, since he is already a young man and not a child anymore, as it means his personality and character are consolidated and hardly ever it will change, but the family have to try anyway. However, I think that worst than stealing is to steal and lie that he hasn't stolen anything. If that is really the case, I fear this young man is really compromised. It would be better if he had stolen, but confessing he did it and apologizing for the wrongdoing to his mother right after.

When people don't take responsability for their acts and try manipulating others through lies, they are put aside by society, so it's definitely a very bad decision to make.

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