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Author Topic: Tell us a joke....  (Read 35089 times)
naypalm
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howdy


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August 04, 2013, 01:06:59 AM
 #21

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

Phinnaeus Gage
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August 04, 2013, 01:14:51 AM
 #22

A guy adds to a thread the same exact joke some other penned because he's addicted to naypalm.
batt01
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August 04, 2013, 01:35:12 AM
 #23

How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.

Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.

What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork

Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...


(I'm going to hell)

Since we have insulted, Asians, Blacks and Jews, lets not leave out the Gays.

Whats the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
Ans: A refrigerator  wont fart when you take your meat out.

toddtervy
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August 04, 2013, 01:53:42 AM
 #24

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, "Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen."
The woman stalks off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you."

That one was pretty funny, haven't heard before.

What did one casket say to the sick casket?
Is that you coughin?

Get off my c@ck !
btcton
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August 04, 2013, 04:24:42 AM
 #25

All of them were surprisingly... bad. Not that I could do better, though.  Tongue

The signature campaign posters adding useless redundant fluff to their posts to reach their minimum word count are lowering my IQ.
QuestionAuthority
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August 04, 2013, 04:49:13 AM
 #26

All of them were surprisingly... bad. Not that I could do better, though.  Tongue

I'll try again.

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, what's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smell nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

-–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take off her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies. That's why I'm here!"

imamanandyou
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August 04, 2013, 07:53:20 AM
 #27

Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. and that's the story.

totemITnow
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August 04, 2013, 01:37:30 PM
 #28

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."


Phinnaeus Gage
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August 04, 2013, 04:42:27 PM
 #29

Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. and that's the story.


That's what I thought. Daddy, why did you and Mommy name me Josh?

Well, on the way to the Maths Lab, we saw this big pile of poodle shit...
jacktarli
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August 04, 2013, 08:06:27 PM
 #30

A pilot on a passanger plane makes an announcement. "We are running out of fuel, in order to make it to the next airport we need to lose some weight. Yeah you know what I mean, some people need to jump, any volunteers? Ok since no one volunteers we need to go by the alphabet, so A afro americans, B blacks, C chinese....
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"
young3dvard
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August 06, 2013, 10:28:33 PM
 #31

You should always give 100% at work...
10% Monday; 20% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 10% Friday

BTCat
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August 06, 2013, 11:42:24 PM
 #32

ok i'll tell a joke

nah i won't

hahahahhaha
millsdmb
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August 06, 2013, 11:43:41 PM
 #33

Hey guys,

we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?

LTC on GOX

</joke

Hitler Finds out about the Butterfly Labs Monarch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jYNMKdv36w
Get $10 worth of BTC Free when you buy $100 worth at coinbase.com/?r=51dffa8970f85a53bd000034
BTCat
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December 24, 2013, 07:12:33 PM
 #34

Hey guys,

we need some humor up in here, so why not tell eachother jokes?

LTC on GOX

</joke

That was a good one, still laughing!
kireinaha
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December 24, 2013, 07:43:33 PM
 #35

Q: What's the difference between Batman and a black man?

A: Batman can go out at night without robbin.


Q: How do you confuse a Jew?

A: Put him in a round room and tell him there's a quarter in the corner.

Night gathers, and now my bitcoinwisdom watch begins.
Phinnaeus Gage
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December 25, 2013, 12:10:44 AM
 #36

How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.

Whats the difference between a park bench and a black guy?
The park bench can support a family.

What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork

Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream was shot...


(I'm going to hell)

Since we have insulted, Asians, Blacks and Jews, lets not leave out the Gays.

Whats the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
Ans: A refrigerator  wont fart when you take your meat out.

I was wondering where that noise was coming from... from the other room... I mean next door... What I mean is... Okay, you got me! It's a male goat.
Phinnaeus Gage
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December 25, 2013, 12:14:32 AM
Last edit: December 26, 2013, 05:04:13 AM by Phinnaeus Gage
 #37

A pilot on a passanger plane makes an announcement. "We are running out of fuel, in order to make it to the next airport we need to lose some weight. Yeah you know what I mean, some people need to jump, any volunteers? Ok since no one volunteers we need to go by the alphabet, so A afro americans, B blacks, C chinese....
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"

<whispering> "Good call, dad! Finally, we're in front of the Whities."

<over the load speaker> "No more E's, and we're still over weight."

<son to dad> "Looks like we're next, dad."
olinnebit
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December 25, 2013, 01:36:33 AM
 #38

So, I was going down on this chick the other day when I suddenly could taste the familiar taste of horse semen. So I looked up and I said; "aaw grandma, that's how you died"

A baby seal walks into a club..

That's all I got

BTC 1DavH6tGvK1nbzE2uazZbGEoT8juB5c3GW

Haidang1796
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December 25, 2013, 09:35:39 PM
 #39

my life  Lips sealed

QuestionAuthority
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December 25, 2013, 10:13:29 PM
 #40

my life  Lips sealed

Your life is a joke?  Cry

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