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Author Topic: Tell us a joke....  (Read 35090 times)
Haidang1796
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December 25, 2013, 10:24:07 PM
 #41

Well at least that's what I think  Lips sealed

QuestionAuthority
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December 25, 2013, 10:32:14 PM
 #42


Your life belongs to you. Change it!  Wink

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December 26, 2013, 05:04:28 AM
 #43

A pilot on a passanger plane makes an announcement. "We are running out of fuel, in order to make it to the next airport we need to lose some weight. Yeah you know what I mean, some people need to jump, any volunteers? Ok since no one volunteers we need to go by the alphabet, so A afro americans, B blacks, C chinese....
In the back seat there is a black guy with his son. The son asks "daddy which one are we afro americans or blacks"
The dad responds "shut up, now we are fucking niggers"

<whispering> "Good call, dad! Finally, we're in front of the Whities."

<over the load speaker> "No more E's, and we're still over weight."

<son to dad> "Looks like we're next, dad."

<dad to son> "Remember, when you reach the top of the trees, flap you arms as fast as you can... like a chicken."

Just then, dad woke up from his nightmare, to be greeted by an albino stewardess asking him if he desired chicken for dinner. Dad, thinking he saw a ghost, immediately ran to the exit door and exited.
elektibi75
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December 26, 2013, 08:41:56 AM
 #44

*"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you
must register a new one." *
*roses *
*"Sorry, too few characters." *
*pretty roses *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." *
*1 pretty rose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." *
*1prettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." *
*1fuckingprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." *
*1FUCKINGprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." *
*1FuckingPrettyRose *
*"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." *
* 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! *
*"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." *
*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow *
*"Sorry, that password is already in use."*

█ DARFChain █ DARFChain - smart escrow engine, based on proof-of-accounting consensus █....
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December 26, 2013, 04:59:24 PM
 #45

*"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you
must register a new one." *
*roses *
*"Sorry, too few characters." *
*pretty roses *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." *
*1 pretty rose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." *
*1prettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." *
*1fuckingprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." *
*1FUCKINGprettyrose *
*"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." *
*1FuckingPrettyRose *
*"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." *
* 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! *
*"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." *
*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow *
*"Sorry, that password is already in use."*
So fucking true

Then you forget it

Own address: 19QkqAza7BHFTuoz9N8UQkryP4E9jHo4N3 - Pywallet support: 1AQDfx22pKGgXnUZFL1e4UKos3QqvRzNh5 - Bitcointalk++ script support: 1Pxeccscj1ygseTdSV1qUqQCanp2B2NMM2
Pywallet: instructions. Encrypted wallet support, export/import keys/addresses, backup wallets, export/import CSV data from/into wallet, merge wallets, delete/import addresses and transactions, recover altcoins sent to bitcoin addresses, sign/verify messages and files with Bitcoin addresses, recover deleted wallets, etc.
Haidang1796
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December 26, 2013, 10:35:47 PM
 #46

I will Tongue thanks

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howdy


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December 27, 2013, 10:52:14 PM
 #47

Mt Gox walks into a bar.

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December 28, 2013, 03:47:59 PM
 #48

yo mama so fat she stepped on a scale and it said TO BE CONTINUED...  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked
uartasic
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December 28, 2013, 04:39:34 PM
 #49

George W Bush walks into a library...

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December 28, 2013, 09:41:26 PM
 #50

How did a joke thread turn into this?

Anyways, here's what Google spewed out for me:

Q: How do you know when it's going to be a good day at work?
A: When you see your boss' picture on the side of the milk carton.

Haidang1796
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December 28, 2013, 09:46:39 PM
 #51

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

Good one!  Grin

Here's another joke:

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!


well it's fine if you play by the rule right? =)))

Parazyd
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December 28, 2013, 09:53:45 PM
 #52

Mt Gox walks into a bar.

... and the bartender says: "No GoxBux!" Grin
ajax3592
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Crypto News & Tutorials - Coinramble.com


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December 28, 2013, 10:35:09 PM
 #53


Crypto news/tutorials >>CoinRamble<<                            >>Netcodepool<<                >>My graphics<<
jackjack
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December 28, 2013, 10:50:08 PM
 #54

George W Bush walks into a library...
Best one so far

Own address: 19QkqAza7BHFTuoz9N8UQkryP4E9jHo4N3 - Pywallet support: 1AQDfx22pKGgXnUZFL1e4UKos3QqvRzNh5 - Bitcointalk++ script support: 1Pxeccscj1ygseTdSV1qUqQCanp2B2NMM2
Pywallet: instructions. Encrypted wallet support, export/import keys/addresses, backup wallets, export/import CSV data from/into wallet, merge wallets, delete/import addresses and transactions, recover altcoins sent to bitcoin addresses, sign/verify messages and files with Bitcoin addresses, recover deleted wallets, etc.
Haidang1796
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December 29, 2013, 12:22:28 AM
 #55


LOL =))) that's hilarious Smiley)

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December 29, 2013, 11:33:47 AM
Last edit: December 29, 2013, 05:29:07 PM by railzand
 #56

Man walks into a bar. "Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please."

"Certainly, sir, here you are," says the barman. "That'll be 30 satoshis for no confirmations with a transaction fee of 0.00075 ellteecee or 20 for 3 confirmations with point ohohohoh fuck this


edit: tell us another. How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender and add a dash of celery salt.


How many bitcoiners does it take to change a lightbulb? About 1.078242628

How many litecoiners does it take to change a lightbulb? about seven million

Haidang1796
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December 30, 2013, 04:16:58 AM
 #57

A: How can the driver driving a 10-tons truck can cross a bridge whose limit only 8 tons?
B: ..... Idk
A: he just walk pass it

jacktarli
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December 30, 2013, 12:09:10 PM
 #58

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv is floating? You take your pistol and shoot just under the tv. Then call the cops that you just shot a black man trying to steal your tv  Tongue
Phinnaeus Gage
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December 30, 2013, 03:25:14 PM
 #59

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv is floating? You take your pistol and shoot just under the tv. Then call the cops that you just shot a black man trying to steal your tv  Tongue

"Dad, it worked, just like you said. I flapped my wings like a chicken just like you you did, and we both landed in this house without a scratch. Now what?"

"Grab the TV!"
elektibi75
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January 14, 2014, 01:20:41 PM
 #60

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for...

█ DARFChain █ DARFChain - smart escrow engine, based on proof-of-accounting consensus █....
▞▬▬▬▞▬▬▬▞▬▬▬▞▬▬▬▞▬▬▬▞▬▬▬▚▬▬▬▚▬▬▬▚▬▬▬▚▬▬▬▚▬▬▬▚
• Whitepaper • ANN Thread • Telegram • Facebook • Reddit • Slack • YouTube • VK
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