Tell us a joke....

[White sugar]

A man is on the operating table looking up at the surgeon above him. He hears the surgeon say:

- Now, if you stay nice and still, I'll give you a treat.

Are you talking to me? asks the man on the table.

- Oh no, I'm just talking to my cat, says the surgeon.

[Gleb Gamow]

A man is on the operating table looking up at the surgeon above him. He hears the surgeon say:

- Now, if you stay nice and still, I'll give you a treat.

Are you talking to me? asks the man on the table.

- Oh no, I'm just talking to my cat, says the surgeon.

I had to think about that one, albeit not too long, but thinketh I hadeth. The joke would work just as well, if not better, if you replaced cat with Belgian Tervuren, thus really making the reader think, then getting a gooder laugh when they finally get it.

[Gleb Gamow]

A man walks into a bar.

His alcoholism is slowly destroying his family.

That joke makes me sad

Ad:

Hand-made baby trousseau. Never used. 

[addy boy]

a girl came out from train and stepped on a platform and asked a guy.which station is this?
A stranger= hahahaha...its a railway station

[horace0812]

I am a man, you are a pen...haha

[Gleb Gamow]

a girl came out from train and stepped on a platform and asked a guy.which station is this?
A stranger= hahahaha...its a railway station

Stranger: Welcome to Smiths Station, Alabama. May I buy you a drink?

[bojan92]

Why are blonde jokes so short?
  
  
  
So that men may remember them.

Reminds me of the time a gal once told me she was a natural redhead to only discover later that night that she was naturally bald.

That must have been a very bad experience. At least was she hot? Cover her lack of hair with her very good curves, that would be the best thing in such sort of a situation

[Gleb Gamow]

Reminds me of the time a gal once told me she was a natural redhead to only discover later that night that she was naturally bald.

That must have been a very bad experience. At least was she hot? Cover her lack of hair with her very good curves, that would be the best thing in such sort of a situation

I made that bitch suffer through 47 consecutive orgasms. A couple times, I was even in the room to witness her suffrage. Sadly, I lost a good friend that night due to exhaustion, whereupon it took me years to replace that dog. I taught that redhead to never lie to me again.

[bojan92]

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.

The e-mail reads:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

[bojan92]

Reminds me of the time a gal once told me she was a natural redhead to only discover later that night that she was naturally bald.

That must have been a very bad experience. At least was she hot? Cover her lack of hair with her very good curves, that would be the best thing in such sort of a situation

I made that bitch suffer through 47 consecutive orgasms. A couple times, I was even in the room to witness her suffrage. Sadly, I lost a good friend that night due to exhaustion, whereupon it took me years to replace that dog. I taught that redhead to never lie to me again.

Wow man you have showed her good Sorry for your loss. That is a nice story you have there

[Gleb Gamow]

Reminds me of the time a gal once told me she was a natural redhead to only discover later that night that she was naturally bald.

That must have been a very bad experience. At least was she hot? Cover her lack of hair with her very good curves, that would be the best thing in such sort of a situation

I made that bitch suffer through 47 consecutive orgasms. A couple times, I was even in the room to witness her suffrage. Sadly, I lost a good friend that night due to exhaustion, whereupon it took me years to replace that dog. I taught that redhead to never lie to me again.

Wow man you have showed her good Sorry for your loss. That is a nice story you have there

Ready for another one?

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.

The e-mail reads:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

A few days after Stieg Larsson's death, Eva Gabrielsson, his life partner, accidentally received an email from a man awaiting his wife while vacationing in Canada.

The email read:

Just checked in. You're gonna love it up here.

[bojan92]

Haha i had to google the people you mention in the joke. Now my life will be longer because i had a great laugh and i learnt something about those two.

[QuestionAuthority]

How do we know for a fact that Adam and Eve were not black?

Ever try to take a rib away from a nigger?


How was copper wire invented?

Someone dropped a penny between two Jews.


Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because every Mexican that can run, jump or swim lives in the U.S.


Why don't asians get cataracts?

Because they prefer to drive rincolns.

[Pro_Crypto_Marty]

An oldy but a fave of mine.

A boy and a girl are taking a bath. The girl asks the boy: "Can I touch it?"
The boy says: "No way! You already broke yours off!"

[Gleb Gamow]

How do we know for a fact that Adam and Eve were not black?

Ever try to take a rib away from a nigger?


How was copper wire invented?

Someone dropped a penny between two Jews.


Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because every Mexican that can run, jump or swim lives in the U.S.


Why don't asians get cataracts?

Because they prefer to drive rincolns.

In context, I don't consider the first one on the LIST offensive, oppose to if their wasn't a LIST. In re. the last one, I had to first translate "rincolns" to understand "cataracts". Good one!

To be clear, the poster nor I are racists because after having met him I can safely say that if we added up the sizes of our two dicks together, we still couldn't pass our then oneself off as a N...

[Gleb Gamow]

"There you are! Boy, am I gonna teach you a new variant of hide-n-seek that you're simply gonna love. I see you're already dressed to play the game, so put the stick down and let's get started."

[Karpeles]

A man sits in the dentist chair, absolutely terrified. He asks:

- Are you sure you can pull my tooth painlessly? © www.lettercount.com - come back tomorrow for another joke :-)

The dentist pulls down his mask and says:

- Not entirely. Like last week, I dislocated my arm.

[Gleb Gamow]

"There you are! Boy, am I gonna teach you a new variant of hide-n-seek that you're simply gonna love. I see you're already dressed to play the game, so put the stick down and let's get started."

On second thought, keep the stick, for I've been a very, very, very bad boy.

[Gleb Gamow]

Thomas Edison confided in one of his assistants that if didn't get it right on the 1,000 try, his [first] wife Mary was goin' leave him. With that, the inventor went home.

The next morning after Mr. Edison hurry out of his home, the nosy neighbor lady went over to the house and held court with Mary Edison.

"What was all that screaming I heard last night, Mary?" the neighbor asked?
Mary replied, "I apologize for that, but I couldn't help myself having never experienced anything like it in my entire life. On the 1,000 attempt, dear Tom finally found the g-spot, and no matter how hard I tried to make him stop, he wouldn't quit licking."

[White sugar]

Today, the teacher is giving the students lessons on pronouns. She looks to Toto, one of her worst students.

- Toto, can you please give me two pronouns? she asks.

- Who? Me? asks Toto.

- Very good, says the teacher proudly.