Depressed? Go for a jog, work out in the gym, hang out with friends. Why stay in front of the computer begging for money to buy drugs/Xanax?
Add on : You have a problem, I suggest maybe try calling the Good Samaritans or some local helplines in your area. They are 24/7 at
http://www.samaritans.org/ where you can find the contact.
Because that's how pathetic my life is, honestly i lost all my friends. Drugs make me feel better, i have an addictive personality. I don't take hardcore drugs though, just pills and weed.
Trust me, benzodiazepines ARE "hardcore" drugs. A benzo addiction is the worst fucking thing that can happen to you. Let me copy + paste the list of withdrawal symptoms from Wikipedia:
The following symptoms may emerge during gradual or abrupt dosage reduction:
Aches and pains[37]
Agitation and restlessness[37]
Anxiety, possible terror and panic attacks[37][38]
Blurred vision[37]
Chest pain[37]
Depersonalization[39][40]
Depression (can be severe),[41] possible suicidal ideation
Derealisation (feelings of unreality)[42]
Dilated pupils[23]
Dizziness[37]
Dry mouth[37]
Dysphoria[43][44]
Electric shock sensations[4][45]
Elevation in blood pressure[46]
Fatigue and weakness[37]
Flu-like symptoms[37]
Gastrointestinal problems (irritable bowel syndrome)[47][48][49]
Hearing impairment[37]
Headache[38]
Hot and cold flushes[37]
Hyperosmia[50]
Hypertension[51]
Hypnagogia-hallucinations[18]
Hypochondriasis[37]
Increased sensitivity to touch[42]
Increased sensitivity to sound[37]
Increased urinary frequency[37]
Indecision[37]
Insomnia[52]
Impaired concentration[38]
Impaired memory and concentration[37]
Loss of appetite and weight loss[53]
Metallic taste[50]
Mild to moderate Aphasia[50]
Mood swings[37]
Muscular spasms, cramps or fasciculations[54]
Nausea and vomiting[52]
Nightmares[52]
Numbness and tingling[37]
Obsessive compulsive disorder[55][56]
Paraesthesia[40][42][50]
Paranoia[50]
Perception that stationary objects are moving[42]
Perspiration[38]
Photophobia[50]
Postural hypotension[52]
REM sleep rebound[57]
Restless legs syndrome[25]
Sounds louder than usual[42]
Stiffness[37]
Taste and smell disturbances[37]
Tachycardia[58]
Tinnitus[59]
Tremor[60][61]
Visual disturbances[40]
An abrupt or over-rapid discontinuation of benzodiazepines may result in a more serious and very unpleasant withdrawal syndrome that may additionally result in:
Attempted suicide[40]
Catatonia, which may result in death[62][63][64]
Confusion[65]
Convulsions, which may result in death[66][67]
Coma[68] (rare)
Delirium tremens[69][70][71]
Delusions[72]
Hyperthermia[52]
Homicide ideations[73]
Mania[74][75]
Neuroleptic malignant syndrome-like event[76][77] (rare)
Organic brain syndrome[78]
Post-traumatic stress disorder[25]
Psychosis[79][80]
Self-harm[40]
Suicidal ideation[81]
Suicide[2][82][83]
Urges to shout, throw, break things or to harm someone[37]
Violence[84]
Also this:
"One case of incorrect equivalent dose switching is of a man who had been taking doses of lorazepam and alprazolam equivalent of 60 mg of diazepam. He was then switched from the lorazepam and alprazolam to only 7 mg of diazepam per day. Within 36 hours, he developed somatic symptoms and became convinced that he had an underlying pathology, and impulsively attempted suicide. His symptoms and suicide attempt were diagnosed as benzodiazepine withdrawal. He then tried to withdraw from benzodiazepines, but did so too rapidly with erratic dosage reductions and again attempted suicide which resulted in admittance to a psychiatric unit."
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