Bitcoin 100: Developed Specifically for Non-Profits

[sadpandatech]

I'm not a part of the 100 yet,

but as an outside observer it looks good to me.  

fixed an omitted word in the first part of your statement.  

Thank you for your comments

[mcorlett]

Rev. 3

  23rd of December 2011

Perfect. Excellent. Magnificent.

I love it. Just enough information to solicit personal interest by the person reading.

[Technomage]

The letter seems pretty good to me. Remember that we can always improve it later. I would perhaps emphasize weusecoins.com over bitcoin.org simply because the video at weusecoins is very good at explaining the basics in a short time.

Also, one of the most important parts of an email is the subject. I think it could have a stronger punchline. I don't have anything in mind right now but I think that the title should be carefully thought out. Right now it seems a little boring, honestly.

That's it for me, great work. It's close to finished.

[sadpandatech]

Honesty is good. I agree on the WeUsecoins thing. Lets see what we can work up for a good intro subject line. Up until your post I had not actually visualized the part where the reader would of course see the subject of the email before anything else. This makes it very important. Thank you for pointing it out.


#Current Subject is
"Donation options should include Bitcoin as a form of donating funds to your organization"

#Suggestion 1.
Accepting Bitcoins for donations will increase sponsorship and lower processing costs.

#Suggestion 2.
Having your charity accept Bitcoin donations will increase revenue while lowering costs.

#Suggestion 3.
Including Bitcoin as a form of donated funds will improve sponsoship rate and lower payment processing costs.

#any others or your feedback on these?

[Bitcoin 100]

My first paragraph edits in bold:

We write you today representing a group of 100+ individuals who humbly request your kind consideration of

accepting Bitcoin as a donation option to further benefit your foundation. The Bitcoin100 consists of over 100

members from a community of Bitcoin enthusiasts, developers and common folk, such as yourselves. We wish to

support {charity name} by contributing to your noble organization with a generous gift in the form of a Bitcoin donation,

currently valued at $390.44 {always update}. Furthermore, supporters of Bitcoin100 have pledged to mainly fund nonprofit and

charitable organizations who include Bitcoin as one of their donation options, thus enabling us to continue our benevolent practice.

Additional information pertaining to Bitcoin100 (linked) and its supporters, provided here. (here = same link)

(at one point, I finally gave up on bolding)


~.~~~~~~~~

Boy, that sure does look like crap with all those bold edits. Let's see how it would read in RL, shall we?

~.~~~~~~~~


We write you today representing a group of 100+ individuals who humbly request your kind consideration of

accepting Bitcoin as a donation option to further benefit your foundation. Bitcoin100 consists of over 100

members from a community of Bitcoin enthusiasts, developers and common folk, such as yourselves. We wish

to support Doctors Without Borders by contributing to your noble organization with a generous gift in the form

of a Bitcoin donation, currently valued at $390.44. Furthermore, supporters of Bitcoin100 have pledged to mainly

fund nonprofit and charitable organizations who include Bitcoin as one of their donation options, thus enabling us

to continue our benevolent practice. Additional information pertaining to Bitcoin100 and its supporters, provided here.

~.~~~~~~~~

How's that?

~Bruno~

EDIT: This was penned during the posting of the last dozen or so posts, hence not being totally in line with those suggestions. I've read the weusecoin link and concur, though not edited in the above.

Remember, also, that Bitcoin100 ~ Soliciting Names of Nonprofit Organizations has been moved to https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=55398.0

[sadpandatech]

~.~~~~~~~~
How's that?

~Bruno~

EDIT: This was penned during the posting of the last dozen or so posts, hence not being totally in line with those suggestions. I've read the weusecoin link and concur, though not edited in the above.

Beautiful.

No worries on it lagging a bit. Most of the major verbage and grammatical edits you put in are still relevant and will be included in the next revision. Just as soon as we can agree on a subject.

Edit; mmmm beef hotdogs, sauerkraut and some very sharp, cheddar cheese for lunch.

[Bitcoin 100]

~.~~~~~~~~
How's that?

~Bruno~

EDIT: This was penned during the posting of the last dozen or so posts, hence not being totally in line with those suggestions. I've read the weusecoin link and concur, though not edited in the above.

Beautiful.

No worries on it lagging a bit. Most of the major verbage and grammatical edits you put in are still relevant and will be included in the next revision. Just as soon as we can agree on a subject.

No problem. Fine suggestions today. Take a breather, all, and allow me to tackle some more. I'm not a versed wordsmith but, thanks to Google, I can come close. I now wish I would of have paid better attention in (or is it during?) English class during (or is it in?) High School.

[sadpandatech]

I had forgotten about this little jingle right there in your sig, Bruno.
"Addressed toward CO prospects: By choosing Bitcoin as a donation option, you'll incur no transfer fees, thus receiving 100% of donations in kind, thereby keeping in the spirit of giving--to those in need."
Some variation of that would likely suffice a decent subject. Whatcha think?

[Bitcoin 100]

I had forgotten about this little jingle right there in your sig, Bruno.
"Addressed toward CO prospects: By choosing Bitcoin as a donation option, you'll incur no transfer fees, thus receiving 100% of donations in kind, thereby keeping in the spirit of giving--to those in need."
Some variation of that would likely suffice a decent subject. Whatcha think?

Hell, I stole it from some other user here, simply rewriting it the best I can. Do what ever you want with it, Derek.

Just figured out what was meant by 'subject' upon rereading the last dozen posts. Although strong, a tad lengthy, hence needing variated.

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of its donated funds, better serving the children in need.

(personalizing it each time--e.g., Veterinarians Without Borders = better serving the animals in need.)

[sadpandatech]

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of its donated funds, better serving the children in need.

Love it. Should we change 'its' to 'the' to avoid any confusion with the second subject in the sentence?  And scratch the 'the' before children?

[Bitcoin 100]

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of its donated funds, better serving the children in need.

Love it. Should we change 'its' to 'the' to avoid any confusion with the second subject in the sentence?  And scratch the 'the' before children?

Yep! Better. TY.

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, better serving children in need.

(personalizing it each time--e.g., Veterinarians Without Borders = better serving the animals in need.)

...or -->  ...funds, better serving more children in need.(?)  /   funds, serving more children in need.(?) ('better' removed) (and serving to supporting)(?)

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, supporting more children in need.


NOTE: Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option does not allow St. Jude to utilize 100% of all other donated funds, but it now makes them think about it.

[sadpandatech]

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of its donated funds, better serving the children in need.

Love it. Should we change 'its' to 'the' to avoid any confusion with the second subject in the sentence?  And scratch the 'the' before children?

Yep! Better. TY.

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, better serving children in need.

(personalizing it each time--e.g., Veterinarians Without Borders = better serving the animals in need.)

...or -->  ...funds, better serving more children in need.(?)  /   funds, serving more children in need.(?) ('better' removed)

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, serving more children in need.

hehe. hmm. How about, 'of donated funds, benefiting more children in need' or 'of donated funds to benefit more children in need.'

[Bitcoin 100]

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of its donated funds, better serving the children in need.

Love it. Should we change 'its' to 'the' to avoid any confusion with the second subject in the sentence?  And scratch the 'the' before children?

Yep! Better. TY.

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, better serving children in need.

(personalizing it each time--e.g., Veterinarians Without Borders = better serving the animals in need.)

...or -->  ...funds, better serving more children in need.(?)  /   funds, serving more children in need.(?) ('better' removed)

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, serving more children in need.

hehe. hmm. How about, 'of donated funds, benefiting more children in need' or 'of donated funds to benefit more children in need.'

The former is better due to incorporating a pause (take a breath) during its reading.

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of donated funds, benefiting more children in need.

How strong would a 'thus' or 'thereby' make it, or would it weaken it coupled with making it that much more wordy? (thus benefiting or thereby benefiting)

One can never find a Grammar Nazi when they need one!

NOTE: Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option does not allow St. Jude to utilize 100% of all other donated funds, but it now makes them think about it.

Did you just take my footing subject and turned it into subject footage?

EDIT: Same word used twice: donation and donated. Is the following better?

Subject:

Choosing Bitcoin as an additional donation option allows St. Jude to utilize 100% of funds gifted, thereby benefiting more children in need.

Now, if that alone doesn't make them put down their morning coffee and reach for the phone...

Here's the amazing part: Exactly 140 characters long--A Tweet!

[PatrickHarnett]

I haven't read this thread since about page three and now it's on page 27!

Was thinking last night about what the criteria is for donations so will pose the question as follows.

One of the things we support in our house (mainly my wife) is the local homeless shelter.  They have a building, a small budget and I think three people that actually donate.  We sourced a bunch of coats/jackets during the winter for them, blankets and we have a regular food order for them as otherwise they wouldn't get anything on a Sunday night.  i.e. this is a very low key org, not like the competing church mission with it's million/year budget.  Tomorrow we'll drop some food around to them for Christmas.

So, this is a small org, helping people that would normally sleep out of doors (as it's summer, it's a little better at the moment) and assisting them re-integrate into more mainstream society.  Would it qualify?

[Bitcoin 100]

I haven't read this thread since about page three and now it's on page 27!

Was thinking last night about what the criteria is for donations so will pose the question as follows.

One of the things we support in our house (mainly my wife) is the local homeless shelter.  They have a building, a small budget and I think three people that actually donate.  We sourced a bunch of coats/jackets during the winter for them, blankets and we have a regular food order for them as otherwise they wouldn't get anything on a Sunday night.  i.e. this is a very low key org, not like the competing church mission with it's million/year budget.  Tomorrow we'll drop some food around to them for Christmas.

So, this is a small org, helping people that would normally sleep out of doors (as it's summer, it's a little better at the moment) and assisting them re-integrate into more mainstream society.  Would it qualify?

Depends! Website? Years on line? Reach? Backlinks? Basically those key questions for starters, with possibly a few minor ones to follow.

[gnar1ta$]

Just a technical clarification from another thread:

It was my impression that Bitcoin, the software, technology, or network had a capital B, while bitcoins, the units of exchange, had a lowercase B just like dollars or euros.

Is that Grammar Bitcoin Nazi enough for you Bruno?

[Bitcoin 100]

Just a technical clarification from another thread:

It was my impression that Bitcoin, the software, technology, or network had a capital B, while bitcoins, the units of exchange, had a lowercase B just like dollars or euros.

Is that Grammar Bitcoin Nazi enough for you Bruno?

You're not going to believe this, but you've just answered my very next question with that quote. I keep seeing that mistake alot a lot, hence the question I didn't get to ask.

[PatrickHarnett]

I haven't read this thread since about page three and now it's on page 27!

Was thinking last night about what the criteria is for donations so will pose the question as follows.

One of the things we support in our house (mainly my wife) is the local homeless shelter.  They have a building, a small budget and I think three people that actually donate.  We sourced a bunch of coats/jackets during the winter for them, blankets and we have a regular food order for them as otherwise they wouldn't get anything on a Sunday night.  i.e. this is a very low key org, not like the competing church mission with it's million/year budget.  Tomorrow we'll drop some food around to them for Christmas.

So, this is a small org, helping people that would normally sleep out of doors (as it's summer, it's a little better at the moment) and assisting them re-integrate into more mainstream society.  Would it qualify?

Depends! Website? Years on line? Reach? Backlinks? Basically those key questions for starters, with possibly a few minor ones to follow.

http://dcm.org.nz/Links/nightshelter.html

Not sure about all the questions, but the link points in the right direction I think.

[Technomage]

I'm a bit busy right now but the new suggestion for the subject is better. However, I think it's too long. As far as email subjects are concerned, there are a few rules.

1) Keep it simple
2) Keep it simple
3) And so on

The very first text paragraph should then contain the info that can't fit the subject. So I think trimming it a little and then summarizing in the first paragraph and explaining it a little more after that is the way to go.

So short and simple for the subject, a short and to the point first paragraph and finally a few paragraphs containing the details. I'd create my own suggestions if I wasn't busy right now but I hope this helps.

Actually, the current subject revision fits almost perfectly as the very first paragraph of the email. For a subject it simply contains too much information.

[gnar1ta$]

^^ agreed if this is being sent as e-mail.

Subject: Please accept our donation.

The lengthy version would be a good intro for the message.