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Author Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble?  (Read 1880 times)
Odusko
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January 10, 2024, 11:46:35 PM
 #101

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
As I understand the concept of marriage and mutual trust which it involves, I think there shouldn't be secrets between husband and wife, especially regards activities they are practing in their routines. I think you would be bothered if your husband was doing something in secret and you didn't know... So the same is valid for him regards you. "Don't do unto others what you don't want done unto you"*. Treat them as you wished to be treated. Think about it and you will reach the answer you are looking for. It's already inside you. Just need to find it now.

*Confucius
Yes there is no need to keeping secret as husband wife, and sincw tour partner is your support system, tou need to carry him along regardless of what the nature of what you are about to do, sometimes, when you cant help yourself,  your partner becomes the only option you have to rest back on, so imagine of you need help and you are keeping secret from your spouse how then can you get the help you seeks.
Alot need to be looked into and as sensitive as gambling,  all decision related to it must be taken based on the family understanding to avoid crisis that can be avoided innthe future.

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January 11, 2024, 12:56:58 AM
 #102

II think this topic should go to politics and society.

That is a problem, not having confidence in yourself, by the way you think you have it and in fact you affirm it, with the decrees shown in your OP, but then you say, I don't know whether to tell him..

 Don't hesitate, it is an important decision, perhaps the one with the most influence on your game, you have to tell them.

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January 11, 2024, 04:40:00 AM
 #103

I think your husband has the right to know what you are doing, although perhaps his first response will be to forbid you from gambling, you can explain slowly that the gambling you do is not random and you only do it occasionally with as little money as possible, explain that you gamble moderately and can be responsible, you can convince your husband with a wiser attitude, I'm sure your husband will understand and maybe will let you gamble and of course with your husband's supervision because the wife responsibility is on her husband and if you make a mistake on this site your husband can help you and if you secretly gamble without telling you and one day your husband finds out by himself, I don't think that will be good for your domestic life because there is a big possibility that your husband will be very angry.

I think every husband definitely doesn't want to see his wife gambling, but if basically his wife is already familiar with gambling and especially since online gambling is widespread everywhere then it is normal for women to take part in these gambling activities, I think the gambling that husbands and wives do is different. The wife has complete control over finances whether her own money or her husband's finances and as long as they can allocate their money then she will be a responsible gambler.

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January 11, 2024, 05:04:00 AM
 #104

who wants to have a husband addicted in gambling? Even those who are already rich are against in such gambling activity because they know what can happen especially when a person goes too far. Do you want to have a spouse who will encourage you to gamble? Funny. Then when you lose or get stuck, you will blame your wife because they didn't forbid you or they push you to do gambling but the truth is, you really want to gamble. You are just looking for someone to blame for your wrong actions and decisions.

Of course that's not good looking for other people to target our anger is not right because the actions they take are actions based on their own will it's a big mistake if they gamble by looking for people to blame for the losses they get. in gambling and in my opinion it is not good if we have a partner who likes to gamble, even though they can control themselves well against gambling but still the fear that I have is about the bad effects of gambling, if I were married myself I would stop gambling because I don't want to continue gambling if I already have a wife.

I think everyone has a lot of negative views on gambling and with that, there will be many people who have a negative perspective on gambling so in my opinion as people who have good thoughts we have to forbid our partners from gambling  it's also impossible if we have a partner who supports gambling activities because even though we have enough money to gamble, it is unethical if it is legal that husband and wife still like to gamble,  it is better to focus on domestic relationships.

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January 11, 2024, 05:33:41 AM
 #105

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

This is a good intention because if you are married it will be more comfortable if your husband also knows what you are doing. Especially if you use your husband's money for gambling. But I'm sure you used the money from the campaign so the money is completely yours, so whether you want to tell your husband or not, I think it doesn't matter as long as you can be responsible when gambling and don't exceed the allocation you prepared.

I'm sure you know what's best for your family and you can do it well, because in some countries sometimes gambling is considered a negative activity, especially in countries where gambling is prohibited.

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January 11, 2024, 05:56:00 AM
 #106

There are many questions that needs to be answered, before we can answer your question.

1. Does your husband gamble?
2. Are there any religous restrictions against gambling?
3. Do you work for your income or do you get money from him?
4. Why do you have to keep this a secret?

A marriage is a partnership where two people work together in an environment of trust. You should not have to keep this a secret, if you are not doing something that will break this trust.

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January 11, 2024, 06:05:42 AM
 #107

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
I'm wondering if these are the principles you set for yourself when engaging in gambling or if these are accomplishments you've actually made? If you've truly achieved these things, it seems like you have excellent self-control, and your gambling is likely low-risk.
Therefore, I think letting your husband know is entirely normal; in fact, I believe he might be happy to see you having certain successes in gambling. For the majority of gamblers, accomplishing what you've listed would be a significant success. Share this activity with your husband; perhaps you'll have someone to share joy with. If you see gambling as a fun and entertaining activity, why not play together with your loved one, right?
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January 11, 2024, 06:45:33 AM
 #108

No matter how good you are at controlling your emotions while gambling, I still think you should tell your husband about your gambling habits. That kind of secrecy between the couples is no good. If you think your husband won't like it, it is not the end of the world. If he is a good guy, he will try to understand you or offer solutions... Maybe he will join you and both of you make bets together. If you keep this secret though, and he finds out about it somehow, now that's the worst possible outcome because he will think: "If she didn't tell me about her gambling habits, what else is she hiding from me?" And all the trust between you and him will be gone just like that.

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January 11, 2024, 07:23:37 AM
 #109

No matter how good you are at controlling your emotions while gambling, I still think you should tell your husband about your gambling habits. That kind of secrecy between the couples is no good. If you think your husband won't like it, it is not the end of the world. If he is a good guy, he will try to understand you or offer solutions... Maybe he will join you and both of you make bets together. If you keep this secret though, and he finds out about it somehow, now that's the worst possible outcome because he will think: "If she didn't tell me about her gambling habits, what else is she hiding from me?" And all the trust between you and him will be gone just like that.
I believe that if she can convince her husband that she is playing the  gambling for a temporary pleasure, her husband will not forbid her to play it. Gambling by informing the husband will also reduce the human pressure there. But here again if there is something opposite then there may be some problem. But above all the wife must inform her husband so that the bond of fidelity between them can be strengthened. Moreover, if her husband is also willing to bet there, then they both can do better research and take a more suitable decision to win the bet.
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January 11, 2024, 07:48:35 AM
 #110

I think your husband has the right to know what you are doing, although perhaps his first response will be to forbid you from gambling, you can explain slowly that the gambling you do is not random and you only do it occasionally with as little money as possible, explain that you gamble moderately and can be responsible, you can convince your husband with a wiser attitude, I'm sure your husband will understand and maybe will let you gamble and of course with your husband's supervision because the wife responsibility is on her husband and if you make a mistake on this site your husband can help you and if you secretly gamble without telling you and one day your husband finds out by himself, I don't think that will be good for your domestic life because there is a big possibility that your husband will be very angry.


I don't know the husband that will be happy with the wife to disclose that she is gambling without profit. Gambling is about profiting and many gamblers have been criticized for gambling without profit and encouraging them to stop. So if the wife is gambling and she is not making profit, what is she going to be telling the husband? Just to disclose to him she has been using family to gamble without profit?

Except she is coming to make a confessional statement to the husband that she has been gambling without profit and she wants to stop.

If she disclose to her husband that she is gambling and the husband see she is not making profit and if she is asking to continue then he will demand to know how long she has been gambling and that will determine if he will support her or not. What about if the husband does not gamble, then this will become another kettle of fish because she has to show she has been profiting for she to continue.

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January 11, 2024, 07:51:50 AM
 #111

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
Well it all depends on the kind of environment or how your society views female gambling, so perhaps if a female gambling is actually  a common thing at your place you can consider telling him, but however there are places that has a very bad perception on gambling general let alone female gambling so perhaps if is the kind of environment you domiciled there is no need telling him about your gambling and besides you have been controlling your emotions and your gambling behavior and at the same time making winings so there is no need telling your husband because you may not like the way he will react over it and however the first thing that will come to his mind is that all your money is being spent on gambling and he will make sure to put an end to it. Also in most cases no matter the circumstances surrounding female gamblers is always advisable to share with your husband if you are becoming an addict so that he could guide you although.

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January 11, 2024, 08:43:44 AM
 #112

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

I will ask you a question, why should you hide it? What on earth are you thinking to ask that question if it's worth to tell him? Isn't it more comfortable to do gambling without hiding? If he's against it, respect it. But that was the challenge to you, give him some words that should make him think that even if you are into gambling, you still know your responsibility to your family.

Keeping that gambling as private stuff from him will just make things worse.
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January 11, 2024, 10:20:36 AM
 #113

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

I will ask you a question, why should you hide it? What on earth are you thinking to ask that question if it's worth to tell him? Isn't it more comfortable to do gambling without hiding? If he's against it, respect it. But that was the challenge to you, give him some words that should make him think that even if you are into gambling, you still know your responsibility to your family.

Keeping that gambling as private stuff from him will just make things worse.

I have this feeling that One of the reasons why she chose to keep it as a secret is that, her husband doesn't want her to be involved in any gambling activity. Like, He has his own preference when it comes to the person he wants to be with for the rest of his life and a woman who gamble doesn't fit to his standard, But it's also important to note that when you get married, all the problems and issues inside your relationship needs to be addressed in a good way. Always remember that secrecy is not good for a relationship.



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January 11, 2024, 11:14:32 AM
 #114

Topic reminds me about formed "should gambling be kept in secret" topic (search for it and get general idea from that - that will be the solution for OP). The situation has nothing to do with gender. It wasnt proved that men or women, husband or wife hit "bet" button better. Definitely dont focus on that, because soon "angry on life" people will come and suggest to divorce Cheesy Want healthy relationship - dont keep secrets. Want to gamble - inform people around you so they could help if needed. Easy. Mystery solved.

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January 11, 2024, 11:21:58 AM
 #115

it's a good idea for you to tell your husband about your gambling because after all, he is your husband and he has the right to know what you are doing. no matter how good your gambling is, it will still be related to your family's finances, so instead of your husband suspecting that you are using your money for something else, it's better if you are honest with him, and told him that you gambled but you were responsible for it. maybe if you are honest with him he will respect you more.

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January 11, 2024, 11:23:20 AM
 #116

I have this feeling that One of the reasons why she chose to keep it as a secret is that, her husband doesn't want her to be involved in any gambling activity. Like, He has his own preference when it comes to the person he wants to be with for the rest of his life and a woman who gamble doesn't fit to his standard, But it's also important to note that when you get married, all the problems and issues inside your relationship needs to be addressed in a good way. Always remember that secrecy is not good for a relationship.
But she should be able to tell her husband so there will be no problems between them later. It is very difficult to accept the fact that one of them likes gambling and often gambles and that sooner or later, it will become a problem for them. And if she doesn't want to be honest with her husband, maybe if her husband finds out, they will fight because the husband feels that his wife has been gambling and didn't tell him. Maybe her husband would also suspect her because she had used the money her husband gave his wife. Anything can happen, so you should immediately tell your husband that he is gambling. Moreover, you agree to share everything with your partner when you are married. But that's up to them because we can only suggest it.

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milewilda
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January 11, 2024, 11:56:20 AM
 #117

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

I will ask you a question, why should you hide it? What on earth are you thinking to ask that question if it's worth to tell him? Isn't it more comfortable to do gambling without hiding? If he's against it, respect it. But that was the challenge to you, give him some words that should make him think that even if you are into gambling, you still know your responsibility to your family.

Keeping that gambling as private stuff from him will just make things worse.

I have this feeling that One of the reasons why she chose to keep it as a secret is that, her husband doesn't want her to be involved in any gambling activity. Like, He has his own preference when it comes to the person he wants to be with for the rest of his life and a woman who gamble doesn't fit to his standard, But it's also important to note that when you get married, all the problems and issues inside your relationship needs to be addressed in a good way. Always remember that secrecy is not good for a relationship.
When you do tend to decide or get involved with something and you do see that your husband would really be that getting angry or disappointed against gambling but you did still that decide to play up
and continue without letting him knowing and now asking on what are the things that should supposed to do? You are the ones who could really be able to decide for yourself whether you would really be telling up
these things into your husband or you would really be continuing on hiding it like forever or until you would bust up. For me then it would be better that you should really be telling the truth as early as you could
on which dont let yourself that get caught because it would really be a huge trouble. A relationship without any secrets is always that preferable.

If you are a wife that do really talks or really that in concern in your relationship then you would really be telling all the things which your partner
 wont really be able to have those kind of disappointements. Theres no good on keeping secrets into your partner on which it is really just that
right that you should be honest as much as possible or being that transparent.

Blitzboy
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January 11, 2024, 01:01:52 PM
 #118

I think your husband has the right to know what you are doing, although perhaps his first response will be to forbid you from gambling, you can explain slowly that the gambling you do is not random and you only do it occasionally with as little money as possible, explain that you gamble moderately and can be responsible, you can convince your husband with a wiser attitude, I'm sure your husband will understand and maybe will let you gamble and of course with your husband's supervision because the wife responsibility is on her husband and if you make a mistake on this site your husband can help you and if you secretly gamble without telling you and one day your husband finds out by himself, I don't think that will be good for your domestic life because there is a big possibility that your husband will be very angry.

I think every husband definitely doesn't want to see his wife gambling, but if basically his wife is already familiar with gambling and especially since online gambling is widespread everywhere then it is normal for women to take part in these gambling activities, I think the gambling that husbands and wives do is different. The wife has complete control over finances whether her own money or her husband's finances and as long as they can allocate their money then she will be a responsible gambler.
Not a simple scenario, right? I think open communication is essential in any relationship. If gambling is a part of someone's life, however somewhat, their partner should be aware of it. Trust is the foundation of strong relationships, and transparency builds it. Sharing one's life is the goal here, not permission.

Moderation is crucial when it comes to gambling. Gambling, like watching a movie or eating out, is something I view as entertainment, just like you. How an act is managed determines its impact. Responsible gambling keeps things fun without causing financial or emotional harm.

As you said, spouses support, not supervise. Partners in a marriage are equals, each responsible for their acts yet willing to aid when needed. This alliance helps navigate back to safer grounds when gambling becomes more than a hobby.

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Sexylizzy2813
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January 11, 2024, 02:00:13 PM
 #119

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;

  • Not involving myself in a revenge gambling
  • Not chasing profit after lost
  • Not involving oneself into compulsive gambling
  • Not solely replying on every game to be 100 percent correct
  • Not hoping that gamble is guaranteed
  • Not gambling with all my income or salaries
  • Among all, gambling for fun and not to enrich oneself

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

OP your topic made me pause for 5mins before typing and you're trying to take permission from other members on the Forum on how to go about business in your home or what? If you know engaging yourself in gambling will cause you your marriage then why pick interest in the first place?
All those things you made mentioned above are all what a good gambler needs to be called a gambler, if you ask me. You on the other hand don't seem like one who have started gambling in any way.
Lemme say the truth OP,  this story doesn't look real to me. And many would agree with me that we're all tired of all these cooked up stories.
How would you tell me you started gambling and your husband is not aware, or are you telling us that you haven't lost before, that you always win your bet and that's why you finding it hard to quit?🙄🤔🤔.
Let's be real for one sec, nobody gambles for fun, if you do then your aim is never to make profit just to lose. And to wrap it all, you're the best person to advise yourself because nobody advised you to join gambling in the first place (that's of what you saying is even real).

R


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AicecreaME
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January 11, 2024, 02:16:44 PM
 #120

Gambling posses serious risks. The moment you decided to enter the gambling world, you should have told your spouse about it. In marriage, everything should be transparent. You shouldn't leave a detail from your partner because you are now considered as one. Every matter should be laid down on the table and talked about. Open communication and understanding from both parties is very essential in maintaining your union peaceful, respectful, and full of trust.

Considering that you are knowledgeable enough about the consequences of gambling, you should still tell it to your spouse. Privacy when it comes to financial matters should have no place in anyone's marriage to avoid breaking the other's trust and confidence in you. Discussion about your gambling expenditures and other leisures should all be addressed so that the other won't be surprised in finding out your budget allotment. Additionally, you could talk regarding establishing heathy boundaries so both will not grow resentment from each other in limiting how you will enjoy each others individuality and free time.
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