Now this may seem a bit late, as Christmas already passed, but for getting us closer as a gang even
moar I will describe you a curious habit we have in Romania for Christmas (NeuroticFish may (
or may not) confirm all these
).
So we, Romanians, for hundred of years, use to slaughter a pig for Christmas
I found, by pure chance, on the Internet, a so-called
letter of a Romanian living in America, which depicts this habit. Please enjoy!
The letter of a Romanian living in America
Because of the economic crisis, because of longing and because of playing cool I decided to slaughter a pig on Christmas, like we used to do in my village when I was young. Now, of course, we did not kill the pig on Christmas, but just before St. Andrew (
n.b. -- Nov 30th), as we did not have patience anymore, nor other food in the pantry which would help us allow the animal to live until Christmas.
So after
I sharpened my knives on the bathroom's floor tiles and after I got two straw ballots (they were for decorative purposes and they were forgotten by a neighbor since Halloween in front of his yard), I started to look for a pig. First of all I posted on Internet that I intend to buy, for sacrificing purposes, a medium size animal, up to 150kg, but nobody replied to me, excepting
a lunatic which said he loves my ideas and, if I want, we can slaughter, together, many pigs!
I believe that all crazies from all over the world run and hid on the Internet! But that's another subject!
When I asked my work mates if they know where I can find a living pig they became very curious, asking what I'm going to do with it, because it's too big to have it as a pet, it makes a lot of mess etc.
When I told them I want to slaughter it they became shocked and asked me why.
To eat it, that's why, I replied, and in that moment I lost any sympathy, tolerance or understanding remaining if they ever had these feelings for me. "
How can you kill an animal, to eat it, like a barbarian?"
Now, when I saw that they are about to call Animals Protection I started to describe them the specific operations, insisting on cutting the jugular and collecting the blood inside a bowl, if possible one with the varnish broken, like my mom used to have, in order to prepare
singerete but, more important,
borandau. I did not know how to explain in English what borandau is (
as I don't know even in Romanian) but I told them it's a sort of polenta made from corn powder, but with blood, instead of water.
I think that about three of them, which were more sensitive, went to bathroom, but the rest (now the entire division was around me) were all ears, while looking at me either with mercy or with disgust. Then, I continued, we fry the pig's skin with burning straws (or with a gas tank, if we live inside an apartment building), then we chop animal's ears, which we eat on the spot, having them with a bit of salt.
That part sent a few more to the bathroom, but I kept talking, being aware that I'll never have such a moment, to be listened by so many people, with so much attention. So after we shave the animal with the fire, we cut it open with an axe, a hatchet, or whatever comes at hand, then we remove the organs, which we boil, together with the head, for preparing
caltabos (
n.b. a sort of very thick sausage). As you know -- I told them airily -- that for caltabos the thick intestine is used, which is
optionally washed or boiled in water with onion, for hiding the heavy smell.
At this point an entire group left and only about three colleagues remained -- those which were bravest and which had best guts to endure. Actually, only two kept listening as one of them was a Korean, which did not know any English, and which keeps all day long the head phones over his ears but he joins any group and nods affirmatively at any discussion.
So with the rest of the meat, I continued, we make sausages, barbeque and
sarmale (
n.b. a sort of meat balls rolled inside sour cabbage leaves) and, if the animal was fat, we may also fry a pot with pork cracklings, in order to ameliorate a bit the effect of the booze, which we keep drinking all this time.
All in all, I think I went easy on them, as if I were to explain them how are prepared the hot dogs and salami they have for lunch, they would all go to a hospital.
Long live globalization!
Having all these said, now I can ensure our Supreme Leader that
she is not the only one eating livers I could also tell you more, about how sausages are made (using pig's thin intestines) or about another Romanian delicacy -- tripe soup -- which is made with cow stomach and which is,
according to Wikipedia a great hangover remedy, but I'll stop here for the moment
