I know that there are some members who really have personal issues with me, and sometimes they will harbor those resentments for a long time, even for years, and then come out with a bunch of anger posts... hahahaha it is kind of funny how some folks can hate certain peeps on the interwebs so much.
With your way of seeing things, on the flipside, you can never have some of the positive life experiences that I have (very rarely) had in cypherspace. If you are too detached, you don’t much care either way—you can never make much of a deep connection with anyone. I am not only saying this now: I have had that thought about you before, years ago. It hit me when you declared somewhere, with a distinctly absolutist attitude, that “nobody gives a shit about you on the Internet” (here paraphrasing from recollection). Well, it is true in the overwhelming majority of cases. But with your outlook, you will miss the one-in-a-million outliers.
Both you and I likely realize that none of these relationship matters are completely absolute - because it is the case that the longer that we are around can contribute towards us being more or less comfortable with other members - maybe certain members more than others.
There are also statements that are made in response to other statements - so if I call you "a big fucking whiner," there is likely a context, and some relationship might be healable through times, and other relations might continue to harbor reservations and/or resentments.
We do not need to get into any exact names, but if you or I were provided with a private and confidential survey in regards to various comforts that we have with a list of 20 members, and we were told to rate on a scale of 1-10 in regards, to various levels of trustworthiness, or sharing of confidentialities, or whether we would pay them money, have them hold money (like a loan), give them certain responsibilities , then each member should receive a different result with some higher on the scale than others in certain categories.. and also some members we might feel tht we do not have enough information to rank them in certain categories, but if we had a written interview or a telephonic interview or a video interview or an in person interview, or if we had them work for us for 90 days (historically an acceptable employment probationary period) , then we might be able to arrive at better determinations regarding our trust/confidence levels in regards to that person trustworthiness, reliability and/or whether we might want to enter into a relationship and what kinds or is it it just an arms-length relationship rather than more intimate.
Regarding missing a 1/1 million opportunity, sure it happens, but we still have to screen matters, and sometimes we also have to cut our losses and not take any further chances because rightly or wrongly we may well find our time and energies is not being used well... does not mean we are correct, but we have to make choices that are not always easy.. and realize that sometimes we cannot go back on our choices..
If someone were to offer me a billion dollars right now to give up some of those positive life experiences, I would tell him to take his money straight to hell. That is not hyperbole. Some things are priceless.
I know, also, that sometimes people do things differently from what they say that they would do when there is actual concrete offer on the table rather than exploring a hypothetical that may well never be presented.. .yet we are likely more prepared to think through the matter if we had thought about the possibilities of various offers that could be made prior to the offer actually being made, so we are in a much better place if we have prepared in order to be ready, willing and able to follow through when opportunities are presented. In that regard, if opportunities are presented, but we have not sufficiently planned/nor prepared, then we might ONLY have one or two of the three (ready, willing and able), which is the same as not having had prepared to be able to take advantage of such opportunities when they are presented.
On the negative side, I dislike permitting those who are beneath me drain my time and energy on nonsense. Whether IRL or online, I oughtn’t trouble myself too much to swat a troublesome fly, if it is inconvenient. Most of all, I must mind the proverb about wrestling with a pig. It is best to take the high road, to focus on important things, to comport oneself with poise and professionalism. But I never forgive, if someone seriously crosses me—never forgive, never forget. Despicable characters tend eventually to lay out enough proverbial rope to hang themselves, anyway.
I don't really disagree with you, but I still consider the idea of "never say never".. .and also sometimes I might even be hesitant to think about "never", but worse to say "never" and then not really mean never.. . .but really mean "almost never."... which practically could have the same results... some kinds of conduct seem to be BIGGER deal-breakers than others... sometimes first impressions are wrong, too... such as "oh, you are not as bad a guy/gal as I had initially thought."
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