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Author Topic: Does it looks responsible as woman telling husband you gamble?  (Read 2287 times)
Fortify
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January 10, 2024, 08:34:47 PM
 #81

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;

  • Not involving myself in a revenge gambling
  • Not chasing profit after lost
  • Not involving oneself into compulsive gambling
  • Not solely replying on every game to be 100 percent correct
  • Not hoping that gamble is guaranteed
  • Not gambling with all my income or salaries
  • Among all, gambling for fun and not to enrich oneself

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

If you're having to ask the question here, then you're not going to get the right answer quite simply. The fact that you aren't more open about it, means that you might consider it shameful or something that should be hidden, when if it was no problem at all you might just consider it light entertainment that you do occasionally. What are you even looking for? If you just consider it a form of light entertainment, that you spend maybe half an hour on per week, then why would you need to share it or hide it? Just do your own thing. If you have it under control, then you would have no problem if he looked at your accounts, maybe you're down a few bucks or maybe you are ignoring the fact that you've really lost thousands.

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January 10, 2024, 08:40:45 PM
 #82

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

You should let him know about your activities so that you can see his reaction if he can understand on what you are doing or not. If he find it disturbing since he doesn't want to get involve with this activity and find it as bad hobby to take then respect his decision then decide if its really worth to continue or just follow your husbands like if he advice you to quit doing this activities.

But if he support you and tell that you are fine then make sure you don't gamble to much then always try to follow his advices so that their will be no trouble created since if you insist and not follow certain things he want you to do or avoid then it can start a conflict that you might regret later on. So come tell him since its really worth to discuss this matter and make sure he's in good condition telling this since timing is also important so he will not get surprised about what you are trying to tell to him.

A wife who helps her husband to gamble never seems responsible to me, it can be happening only in dream, lol. It must be accepted that gambling brings a lot of money at a certain time, it does not mean that gambling should be made a career, right? Gambling instills greed in people, degenerates morals if he fail to keep control. You know, there are also examples of people who lose every penny and come on the road after losing money in gambling. In addition, many commit serious crimes to collect gambling money.

I just said the possible reason why any wife wants to prevent her husband from gambling, this is fear, they are fearing her husband will end up becoming greedy. If she does not prevent her husband from gambling and does not try her best to attract him on herself to find relaxation but rather encourages him gambling then she is really a dream wife, lol. I need one of this type Grin..

who wants to have a husband addicted in gambling? Even those who are already rich are against in such gambling activity because they know what can happen especially when a person goes too far. Do you want to have a spouse who will encourage you to gamble? Funny. Then when you lose or get stuck, you will blame your wife because they didn't forbid you or they push you to do gambling but the truth is, you really want to gamble. You are just looking for someone to blame for your wrong actions and decisions.



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January 10, 2024, 08:41:27 PM
 #83

You are husband and wife and that's why you need not to hide secrets so you must tell your partner that you're into gambling if still doesn't know what you've been doing. That's the first rule of being married, you have to make the other know what you're up to because if you don't then that means that you're trying to hide a secret that your partner doesn't want to know and that means that it's a crucial thing within a relationship.

It's not a problem that you gamble and you're not addicted or yet but make sure that you know your boundaries and it's not going to affect your relationship because that's one important factor why couples are breaking their relationships because of disagreements. If it's also just discussions, not a problem either but when you get into the actuality and both of your money is involve, that's the time that you need to tell it.

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January 10, 2024, 08:49:23 PM
 #84

In my opinion, if one is already married then those kinds of habits and activities are indeed supposed to be shared with one's partner. It may be even matter of time before the partner realizes about your gambling habits, and it is better for anyone to realize about it directly from the person than from rumors or third parties, in my opinion.

There have been other people (mostly men) who have came here with exactly the same question about whether they would disclose their gambling activity or not to their wives and I recall saying to them that they should do it.

Marriage is supposed to be embedded in trust to one another and those kinds of secrets undermine it, it is just my opinion, of course. Perhaps, you believe talking your husband about it is not a good idea because of the religion of his or the cultural aspects of gambling. It is your decision and only you know what the context truly is. If you decided to go for it, hopefully would be for the improvement of your marriage.

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January 10, 2024, 08:53:20 PM
 #85

If you have good control over the gambling activities you do, and you gamble using personal money, not money given to you by your husband, in my opinion this is not too problematic.
Unless you gamble using money given to you by your husband, that is something that is not allowed. Even though your husband will not ask for details of the costs you incur every day, as a form of your wife's responsibility to your husband, you should be as transparent as possible regarding the gambling activities you carry out. Because there are quite a few people out there who gamble without their husband's knowledge, even though they can gamble thanks to the money their husband gives them every day. Meanwhile, if we talk about gambling, this is an activity that has quite high risks and can result in losses. And unfortunately, the money her husband gave her was spent on gambling, while her kitchen needs were not met. So this will be a big question for the husband which will ultimately raise suspicions which will lead to disharmony in the household.

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January 10, 2024, 08:57:31 PM
 #86

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;

  • Not involving myself in a revenge gambling
  • Not chasing profit after lost
  • Not involving oneself into compulsive gambling
  • Not solely replying on every game to be 100 percent correct
  • Not hoping that gamble is guaranteed
  • Not gambling with all my income or salaries
  • Among all, gambling for fun and not to enrich oneself

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

If you're having to ask the question here, then you're not going to get the right answer quite simply. The fact that you aren't more open about it, means that you might consider it shameful or something that should be hidden, when if it was no problem at all you might just consider it light entertainment that you do occasionally. What are you even looking for? If you just consider it a form of light entertainment, that you spend maybe half an hour on per week, then why would you need to share it or hide it? Just do your own thing. If you have it under control, then you would have no problem if he looked at your accounts, maybe you're down a few bucks or maybe you are ignoring the fact that you've really lost thousands.
You can get some points or ideas but in the end of the day , which you own decision is something that could really be followed in the end of the day but the key points that had been saying by most people or the community itself is really just that the same on which you shouldnt really be keeping any secrets from your husband. Yes, everyone does have their own secrets but we do know that there are things which are really that needed up to be told so that it could really be able to avoid possible conflicts in the future and just like been mentioned that when it comes to money or financial expenses then everything should really be tracked or
or should be known and if you are someone who do secretively making some spendings on gambling activity then this would really be bringing up a potential problem once you do get busted.

Just like on what everybody been saying here is that there's no secret that cant be reveal.It might not be now but time will come that you would really be caught.
So it would be always best that you should be that open and be honest on each other. It isnt really just that limited to the wife but also to husband as well that there's no good
on hiding something from your loved ones because once you do get bust up then you would be fucked up.
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January 10, 2024, 08:59:28 PM
 #87

Yes, If can.

You're marrying him, he deserved to know at least before you get some problem. It's rare to see everyone can control them self, however most of people from gambling problem they tell their family after they got a problem.

It's better to let him know.

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January 10, 2024, 08:59:48 PM
 #88

I see gambling is not just for men but even for women as well. Hence, telling your husband that you’re into gambling for quite some time might shock him but later on he will come to understand that as long as you only gamble for entertainment, then I guess there’s no wrong with that. Just be open with your husband as he deserves to know whatever activity you got involved most especially for gambling where probability of losing is high. It’s never bad to gamble as long as you still manage your finances, but to be honest, it’s not actually decent to see a woman gambling, just leave it to your husband as it’s a men thing.

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January 10, 2024, 09:02:48 PM
 #89

Under many cultures, even though they want a woman tk have studied as much as possible, it is considered ideal for the family to make ends meed only with the husband's income. Women are considered housekeepers and not much more. Of course under such a culture it would be considered immoral for a woman to gamble. But think about it...

Shouldn't we apply equality to how we judge people regardless of gender? Of a woman gambles, I can respect how a culture perceives it, but then you must apply the same principle to men also. Otherwise don't judge at all. Judging solely based on gender is just not right.

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January 10, 2024, 09:12:49 PM
Last edit: January 10, 2024, 09:28:35 PM by AmoreJaz
 #90

Under many cultures, even though they want a woman tk have studied as much as possible, it is considered ideal for the family to make ends meed only with the husband's income. Women are considered housekeepers and not much more. Of course under such a culture it would be considered immoral for a woman to gamble. But think about it...

Shouldn't we apply equality to how we judge people regardless of gender? Of a woman gambles, I can respect how a culture perceives it, but then you must apply the same principle to men also. Otherwise don't judge at all. Judging solely based on gender is just not right.

i guess, times are changing. gender equality is already practiced across the globe or maybe there are still some areas left still clinging to the old way of life that the husband is the provider and the wife is taking care of their kids and home.
so for me the answer to the OP here is that depends on how deep your relationship to your partner, you will already feel or know what he will say to you if ever you brought this discussion to him.

Yes, If can.

You're marrying him, he deserved to know at least before you get some problem. It's rare to see everyone can control them self, however most of people from gambling problem they tell their family after they got a problem.

It's better to let him know.

much better if you let your better half know what's going on. at least, he doesn't have to nag you if he ever finds out your other activity. as long as you think you are still in your boundaries and not doing anything wrong, there's no reason why you won't let him know, right?

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January 10, 2024, 09:29:27 PM
 #91

First of all, no one knows who TF you are...it doesn't even matter in here..all the same,i can see how well everybody plays along, maybe because it's on the gambling section?? IDK.

why would you say you developed an urge/interest to gamble and you're definitely evading all these criterion? What in God's name evolved the interest then? Cus you can't tell me you read so much about how peeps are scrambling, showing off their winnings and you got enticed, just to gamble with your own rules that doesn't validate anything at the end - like gambling for fun???
Do well to tell your husband what you've done. There are no two ways about it... It's either you tell him or he gets to realize it himself.

Sandra 🧑‍🦰

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January 10, 2024, 09:33:19 PM
 #92

I don't think it makes women look any more irresponsible than men to tell their spouse that they gamble.  It may be more common in men, but it isn't like women are considered crazy for gambling.  I would assume the man who marries a woman like this would be attracted to her doing things like this.  It's like women that watch football.  They're out there and there's a lot of them, but men are still surprised and usually appreciate when they come across one.  I don't think gambling has a sexist aspect to it.

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January 10, 2024, 09:34:10 PM
 #93


The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

It's important to understand that doing things like gambling might not make your loved ones happy when they find out. Imagine if your husband isn't happy about it; he might feel worried or upset. Keeping secrets from your husband isn't a good idea because he's your best friend and partner. Secrets have a way of coming out eventually, and it might hurt him more if he finds out from someone else.

It's a good idea to talk to your husband about it, share your feelings, and see how he reacts. Being open and honest can help both of you understand each other better. Imagine if you keep it a secret, and he finds out later  it could cause problems in your relationship. As a suggestion, try discussing it early on, so you can decide together what's best for both of you.

I think gambling is dangerous for everyone, but especially for women. In order to prevent future arguments, it is preferable to place a high value on honest and open communication in a relationship.

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Zoomic
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January 10, 2024, 09:38:31 PM
Merited by Odusko (3)
 #94

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;

  • Not involving myself in a revenge gambling
  • Not chasing profit after lost
  • Not involving oneself into compulsive gambling
  • Not solely replying on every game to be 100 percent correct
  • Not hoping that gamble is guaranteed
  • Not gambling with all my income or salaries
  • Among all, gambling for fun and not to enrich oneself

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

Your husband needs to know what you've been up to lately.  Keeping secrets from your partner whom you share a roof with is not healthy at all. It is quite early for you to be 100% certain that you are gambling safe. You might get carried away with this your new found hobby and begin to neglect other aspects of your life, you can't be100% sure of what you are or you are not capable of. Things might go messy if your husband finds out by himself that you've been gambling without his knowledge.

The society hasn't really embraced women who gamble, they believe women who gamble are irresponsible and not fit to be called wife materials. We shouldn't be surprised If your husband goes against your decision to gamble.  If this becomes the case, whatever your reasons are for wanting to gamble, you have to keep it aside and obey your husband. Everything here depends on your husbands understanding of what gambling is all about.

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January 10, 2024, 09:45:21 PM
 #95

I think that there is no need to hide this from your wife, because when she finds out about this, the first thing that will come to the fore is that you actually deceived her, because you didn’t say what you probably should have said. She will think that there are things that do not relate to gambling, in which you could deceive her there too. I listened to various interviews with wives whose husbands are addicted to gambling. It was very difficult to listen to this, some eventually abandoned these men and began to build a new life, while others said that they would deal with these problems to the end. I don't even know which is better.

There are also cases when everything comes out too late, the wife is told by everyone around her that her husband owes them money, and she is the last to know about it, I can imagine how morally heavy a burden this is.

 
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January 10, 2024, 09:53:34 PM
 #96

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;
  • Not involving myself in a revenge gambling
  • Not chasing profit after lost
  • Not involving oneself into compulsive gambling
  • Not solely replying on every game to be 100 percent correct
  • Not hoping that gamble is guaranteed
  • Not gambling with all my income or salaries
  • Among all, gambling for fun and not to enrich oneself
.
[/list]
Going through materials and your chances to get tips and advices here are not enough because it is usually easier to say than to be done.
It is believed that there are still addicted and irresponsible gamblers who are unable to take control of their emotions While Gambling. So, your readiness to stick Conciously with the above mentioned are more than necessary to be acknowledged and dealt with.

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.
To tackling this contradiction and giving the benefits of doubts about your gambling life resulting to your secret gambling off from your husbands consent and how your conscience is demanding you to tell your husband of it would be termed risky because, the disappointment expressions of your husband may not be tolerable by him for I believe he would suspect you to be doing other undesirable things which may still have not let him know so on that note, you would be pointed to be an illegal and secret practitioner. He may demand you to tell more secret things you must have been doing behind him according to his instincts.
If your conscience could trouble you this much as a secret gambling wife,  then it is assumed you are operating prohibitably that is against the will of your husband so, the best tip is that you should QUIT.
Even though your husband one of the gamblers with his awareness about the negative potentials of gambling, he would definitely conclude that "Oh no, I a man is struggling to keep a responsible gambling so there is no possiblities that a tenderous fragile woman as my wife would be able to take control of her emotions on the race or gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
My advice: instead of telling him as your conscience entails you, then better quit gambling and safe yourself marriage from any form of catastrophe.











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January 10, 2024, 10:21:17 PM
 #97

Well, if your husband is open to anything, especially in your relationship, then I think it's safe to say that you can share what you are doing with him. If you know yourself and know that you are not doing anything bad, then I guess there's no need to be afraid, and if you know the things to avoid in gambling, then I guess you can control yourself or have discipline with yourself. But the thing is, you should first know if your husband doesn't like things like gambling. If yes, then maybe you should not say it right away. You two should talk about this topic carefully so you can both understand each other. It's much better than hiding things from your partner, right? So have a conversation about this; it will be helpful for you to remove your question from your mind. I also have a partner, but she knows what I do. As long as I don't do anything wrong, it's okay for her.

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January 10, 2024, 10:34:36 PM
 #98

Quite sometimes now i have been active in the gambling section and have pick interest to start gambling i have gone through lots of material in both the forum, i have seen that I can control my emotion as well as controlling my finance this includes;
This statement simply means that you have picked interest in gambling and have not started gambling yet.

The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest,
This statement shows that you have been gambling. So, there is a gross misunderstanding in your post. Just be real so that the responses you will have will also be real.

What I have always heard or read is man binding his gambling life from his wife and not the other way round.

 
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January 10, 2024, 10:40:45 PM
 #99

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.

As a couple, the husband have the right to know what the wife is doing.  Regardless of whether you control yourself and emotions when you are engaging in gambling activities, your husband should know you are into gambling and gambling discussions. I do not think it will bring harm if you tell your husband about your involvement in gambling discussion although I do not know what will be his reaction about your gambling activities.  If your husband disagrees with your gambling engagement then it is better to follow his advice so that misunderstanding and argument in the family will not happen.

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January 10, 2024, 10:48:42 PM
 #100



The point is my husband doesn't know that i have been secretly gambling and involving myself with gambling discussions and the rest, So, this morning when i woke something in me keeps telling me i should let him know to understand my involvement  to practice gambling.

Does this worth telling him or not please i need you collective ideas.
You know him more; question is why are you being secretive in the first place if you know to yourself that you are gambling responsibly? If it is just you being conscious of your actions then try telling it to him already 'coz he might understand it and take it positively. But if you are hiding it 'coz you know to yourself that he's against gambling and that he will never be convinced, then that would be a problem I guess. However, at the end of the day it will depend on the way you will explain it to him and to why you want to continue gambling.
I don't think it makes women look any more irresponsible than men to tell their spouse that they gamble.  It may be more common in men, but it isn't like women are considered crazy for gambling.  I would assume the man who marries a woman like this would be attracted to her doing things like this.  It's like women that watch football.  They're out there and there's a lot of them, but men are still surprised and usually appreciate when they come across one.  I don't think gambling has a sexist aspect to it.
It is just the stereotype behind gambling. Being responsible of something means you are carrying it well and that you can manage the consequences; both positive and negative ones. Well, gambling is for all genders and sexes as well as ages; it has nothing to do with any restrictions. In her case, given that she listed things proving that she's gambling responsibly, maybe it's just her own guilt why she did not tell her husband in the first place. We don't know the whole story yet but for sure there's a story behind it.

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