I sat down for lunch in the cafeteria at work one day with a Muslim colleague and I noticed he was chowing down on a BLT - one of the lunch specials.
I was like, "Dude... you know the B stands for bacon, right?"
 and he said, "Shut up!  If I don't know, it's not a sin and besides it's delicious."

 On the surface, this misattributed quote seems to make sense but if you actually think about it, it doesn't follow.  

 When I was much younger and playing hockey, I wanted to be able to make slapshots.  It was just me, my stick, a puck and an old piece of plywood outside trying to take one and failing, over and over and over and wait... what was that?  It came off the ground!  ...and over and over and over... for days on end and what?  Did I just put the puck through that piece of plywood?! Niiiiiice!!!  Finally one game a while later, the puck came back to me at the blue line, I wound up to take my first ever official in-game slapshot and everyone spread away from the path of my incoming shot - well I fanned on it and fell to my knees as well. The puck rolled on its side ever-so-painfully-slowly toward the goalie and as he pushed his stick towards it to brush it aside, it rolled right up and over the blade, between his legs and into the net!  HE shoots.................................................. HE SCORES!!!!!  And the crowd went wild - well I mean I did.

 Maybe whoever said that was right after all. Not.

 Seriously though, I can take slapshots all day long and pick my spots now - my favourite was hitting the posts at the top right corner.  I loved the ringing sound it made.
  
 Anyway, in the same game I got a second chance but of course, nobody moved out of the way that time... oooooh I really connected though - my plywood would have been shaking in its boots.  My shot hit one of the other players about chest height and knocked him on his arse.  He was hurting.  So many guys came to me after the game asking me when I learned to take a slapshot and asking me for advice.  The only advice I had was to get a stick, a puck and a piece of plywood and go nuts.

That's enough buddy.   You're getting silly.

 Make room, Peter Schiff!  I moving it all to gold!

Hey!  Thats just like the chair I have!
Here it is in New York last Friday:

Here it is as a gif animation:

 

 I rendered separate 3D models of the rollercoaster guy and the rocket engine firing,  took screencaps of each at the appropriate angles and then photoshopped them together... well actually, GIMPed them but that doesn't very nice.

 IYKYK

edit: FTFY

 I discovered last year during a partial eclipse here that you can simply look at the dappled light on the sidewalk after it comes through the leaves of a tree to watch the eclipse happen in thousands of little images.

Edit: Jeez... okay it was June 2021 - seems like yesterday.
Edit2: Or a colander if you happen to be straining your pasta during an eclipse:

It got pretty dark here during totality but it was very cloudy before and during so we couldn't see the sun at all.  The clouds dissipated slightly and I was able to get a photo just recently but well past peak coverage.



 The sudden darkness is a little eerie.
 

 

Looks like it's all biscotti and rockets today. 

 Good artists aren't linear thinkers; what we have here in Blackhatcoiner is a prodigy who is merely two-thirds of the way through his first two haiku.

 Sooner

 If nothing else, he's a great reverse indicator.

 Or in my case, the art of wish.

edit: I simply mean I wish I had a decent trampoline