Keeping your gambling habit a secret.

[Hispo]

In my case, I have not talked about any of my dices sessions to my family, it is because I rather find it to be irrelevant, since I have not turned gambling into a very strong habit I do everyday, I am rather a casual gambler and casual drinker.

Though, this thread and other posts I have written today have made me conspired to tell them about my casual activities, just for them to know I trust them and also so they can check on me when they believe there is something wrong happening to me.

I think most of gamblers experiment shame, I would bet there is an study about it somewhere on the internet.

Interesting thoughts Hispo.

You did right because, you know, prevention is better than cure. In my case I'm also a very casual gambler so, although my family knows that I play from time to time, I don't tell them every time since I also believe that it is irrelevant. But this is the first step to develop an addiction: underestimation.

So I might think about it twice and don't feel shy or ashamed when I do it, so maybe I should be even more transparent with them.

I believe that the shame starts when one losses an amount which would make our family upset about us and our gambling activities. For example, if I lost 1$ in dices, it would be irrelevant to my family and I could say to them easily about that loss. However, things change when the quantity increases and becomes hundreds or even thousands.

The person may feel like trying to chase the losses, so the family members won't even notice what happened, which eventually only leads to more potential loss.

makes sense. TBH, I have also experienced this problem when everything turned into a bigger loss until I had to hide myself, locked myself in my room to cover my disappointment because of my big loss. because if not my family will find out that this problem will get more complicated, of course it will prohibit gambling again.
but since I got married I gamble honestly with my wife so I have no gambling activity that I hide because I never use hot money to bet and always gamble in a stable way without pursuing anything in gambling.

I have got a personal question, btw. When you first experienced that problem and decided to hide yourself and hide the loss from your loved ones. How much time did it have to pass before you felt better and decided not to hide yourself in your room, how much time did the shame last?

Also, is your wife also a gambler? Because I have not personally met anyone yet who gambles together with his wife. It sound wholesome to me.  

Nevertheless, if you both have children obviously it would be wise not to introduce them to such world, but wait for them to grow up to talk about the downsides of irresponsible gambling.

[1715001140]

1715001140

[Davidvictorson]

And speaking of gamble there are those that view it as an irresponsible activity to embark on and whoever is into it is tag as irresponsible guy, for some it beyond being irresponsible but a sin something that is evil,  while some others out of an ugly experience of a loved one that got ruined by it due to extreme addiction.

This is even worse for women than for men. A man may be tagged irresponsible if he is found out to be a gambler and the society would be lenient with him. But for a woman? Never. She would carry the stigma everywhere with her forever. Nobody cares to know why she got addicted or how they can help. They'd crucify her with their words and actions.

But why continue in what you're not proud of by keeping it secret cause maybe you're worried about what people may say, how their thoughts about your person might change. Or how you might loose ties with someone you hold dear to. And many other reasons that follows.

It is not easy, that is why. It takes a lot of courage to come out of the closet as a gambling addict. You would have to face the shame from the religious standpoint, the embarrassment and disappointment from your family and friends and the stigma from the society. People who talk about their addiction are few and are real heroes for those struggling with it in the closet.

[RockBell]

I think it's mostly because of the fact that they enjoy gambling but are reluctant to disclose it to others because they know that others won't encourage them to do it.
It's when we know what we are doing is not really encouraged by others but still we choose to do it is when people make that thing a secret.
We can't really judge people because of this. It's not about being proud of something but enjoying it.

peoples personality differs and hiding their gambling habit might be for a reason maybe they don't want to disclose personal reasons, and in term of encouragement, it depends if he or she is always getting a win then nobody will say anything bad am very sure of that, in fact, people will see him as a model to copy and want to learn from him, but if the person his always losing people will always try to discourage them from playing but the fact that money is involved will even be difficult to talk people out, judging is truly bad and no one is perfect, the only thing I suggest is we can render advice and its left for them to choose.

Meaning you have guilt in you that is why you are keeping your gambling activities secretive from friends and family. I like it when people love me for who I am and not because of what they see me do.

I was once secretive about my gambling activities but I couldn't hide it anymore to my close friend because he is always keeping an eye on me. Since we are adult, I told him that it gives me joy and that I do it for fun. Later he didn't criticise gambling anymore because he sees that I don't behave like a gambler that do gamble excessively.

I don't see anything wrong with gambling if it is properly managed especially when there is a limit to gambling, I have seen what gambling has done to people, most people have lost everything in the cost of gambling, and that is why people are always frowning at gambling, aside that people are losing money there are also people that also make a living out of gambling, so it is a 50/50 situation, there are winners and at the same time, there are people that also lose, even at that we all should be smart in making a decision when it comes to gambling.

[maydna]

I don't think it's because they are not proud and it doesn't mean they are irresponsible. maybe there is a social sentiment for those gamblers in certain social circles.
we can enjoy gambling well when we are in the right place. an environment of family and friends who don't mind it all. and we can freely talk about our gambling, our wins or losses.
social environmental factors that influence how surreptitiously gamblers still play.

Yeah because not everyone is open minded person, there's many people still believe in conspiracy, myth, etc. When they see a black person, they will think he's a bad person. When they see a gambler, they will think he's not able to manage financial. When they see someone a weird cloth, they will think he's not normal and should be bullied etc. What if we, as a gambler keeping our gambling habit in secret? we will not hear them judging our activity.

Usually, people only see it from the outside without wanting to understand what's inside, so when they see someone playing gambling in their environment, they will immediately judge that this person is not good. There is no need to associate with him. It's normal for them to think that way, especially since we know that many people have gone bankrupt because of gambling, so they don't want to see any of their family members become addicted to gambling or interact with gambling. And this makes many people still hide their gambling activities from other people because they don't want anyone to know about it.

[pawanjain]

I think it's mostly because of the fact that they enjoy gambling but are reluctant to disclose it to others because they know that others won't encourage them to do it.
It's when we know what we are doing is not really encouraged by others but still we choose to do it is when people make that thing a secret.
We can't really judge people because of this. It's not about being proud of something but enjoying it.

Meaning you have guilt in you that is why you are keeping your gambling activities secretive from friends and family. I like it when people love me for who I am and not because of what they see me do.

I was once secretive about my gambling activities but I couldn't hide it anymore to my close friend because he is always keeping an eye on me. Since we are adult, I told him that it gives me joy and that I do it for fun. Later he didn't criticise gambling anymore because he sees that I don't behave like a gambler that do gamble excessively.

It's not always about the guilt. We know that most of the people don't take gambling in a positive way because of it's obvious image.
It's not that I hide my gambling from others because my friends and family know that I occasionally gamble.
But it doesn't mean that I will go and announce to the world that I gamble.
Unless someone keenly asks about it I think we shouldn't publicize our gambling habits.

[inthelongrun]

Is someone that made gambling a habit but is responsible for its playing time and finances called a gambling addict as well? If yes, then I don't mind being called a gambling addict.

I can feel that there are many members in this forum who are maintaining their privacies just like many crypto believers. So just like me, I don't share much with the public including my gambling habit. But of course, I am not hiding it as well, some relatives and friends knew I gamble regularly. And with regards to public reputation, I don't care since I did not do anything bad to them and I am confident that I managed my gambling habit as well. Besides, I am not born to impress the public so who cares. My life, my rules.

[elevates]

I think it's mostly because of the fact that they enjoy gambling but are reluctant to disclose it to others because they know that others won't encourage them to do it.
It's when we know what we are doing is not really encouraged by others but still we choose to do it is when people make that thing a secret.
We can't really judge people because of this. It's not about being proud of something but enjoying it.

peoples personality differs and hiding their gambling habit might be for a reason maybe they don't want to disclose personal reasons, and in term of encouragement, it depends if he or she is always getting a win then nobody will say anything bad am very sure of that, in fact, people will see him as a model to copy and want to learn from him, but if the person his always losing people will always try to discourage them from playing but the fact that money is involved will even be difficult to talk people out, judging is truly bad and no one is perfect, the only thing I suggest is we can render advice and its left for them to choose.

I think gambling is an old form of entertainment that was meant to entertain the rich. When it reached common people the loss and debt trap might have created an image of shame and loss. That is why people tend to hide that they are gamblers due to the shame from society. I have seen many gamblers who do gamble will only disclose it when they have your confidence. I mean mostly they disclose it to friends who are aware of the habits or close friends. I do not think they will disclose how they win or share their strategy as it will only jeopardize their reputation if the results are not positive.

[len01]

I have got a personal question, btw. When you first experienced that problem and decided to hide yourself and hide the loss from your loved ones. How much time did it have to pass before you felt better and decided not to hide yourself in your room, how much time did the shame last?

first of all if I tell my story in the bad past maybe it will be very long but short story I will answer everything you ask me.
not too long about a week or less than that I locked myself in but after that the embarrassment seemed to disappear as soon as I reappeared the emotion because I felt that gambling had taken my money and tried again to bet secretly again and the defeat happened again which caused like addiction. but this experience before I got married.

Also, is your wife also a gambler? Because I have not personally met anyone yet who gambles together with his wife. It sound wholesome to me.  

not at all. so in short I have felt like crazy in the past and after that came the woman who is now my wife because my wife and I were arranged by my parents and she is a muslim who turned me into a bettor who can control herself not care too much about gambling. but even though my wife is muslim she gives me freedom to allow gambling but with a predetermined budget and also may not deposit any more money as long as the budget runs out.

Nevertheless, if you both have children obviously it would be wise not to introduce them to such world, but wait for them to grow up to talk about the downsides of irresponsible gambling.

even if Im a bettor, I will always hide this activity from my children and also other people outside my family. I realize how bad it is to become an irresponsible gambler, so I hope my children when they grow up do not get to know about gambling.

Im sorry if this seems like OOT but I mean just answering your question.

[coolcoinz]

But why continue in what you're not proud of by keeping it secret cause maybe you're worried about what people may say, how their thoughts about your person might change. Or how you might loose ties with someone you hold dear to. And many other reasons that follows.

Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

Why continue doing what you're not proud of? The answer is easy. Addiction, hope of getting money, bad financial situation, stress relief... For many people this is an activity that allows them to let off some steam, like sport. At the same time they know their family is against it, so they don't even want to start an argument with them and prefer to keep secrets.

You could ask this question to any outlaw. Why do you keep stealing if you're not proud of it? Why do you keep it a secret? They'll tell you the same thing. They chose this life.
They don't want to be known as a gambler, an alcoholic, a thief... It's all the same to be honest. All of these things have negative connotations in society.

[fzkto]

And speaking of gamble there are those that view it as an irresponsible activity to embark on and whoever is into it is tag as irresponsible guy, for some it beyond being irresponsible but a sin something that is evil,  while some others out of an ugly experience of a loved one that got ruined by it due to extreme addiction.

This is even worse for women than for men. A man may be tagged irresponsible if he is found out to be a gambler and the society would be lenient with him. But for a woman? Never. She would carry the stigma everywhere with her forever. Nobody cares to know why she got addicted or how they can help. They'd crucify her with their words and actions.

But why continue in what you're not proud of by keeping it secret cause maybe you're worried about what people may say, how their thoughts about your person might change. Or how you might loose ties with someone you hold dear to. And many other reasons that follows.

It is not easy, that is why. It takes a lot of courage to come out of the closet as a gambling addict. You would have to face the shame from the religious standpoint, the embarrassment and disappointment from your family and friends and the stigma from the society. People who talk about their addiction are few and are real heroes for those struggling with it in the closet.

It seems to me that in today's society it doesn't matter if a man or a woman has a gambling addiction. Both sexes will be negatively perceived in society having such habits. Perhaps even the woman will be more regretted than the man, because women are usually considered weak and forgiven a lot. But the man will definitely be doomed to notoriety.

[madnessteat]

But why continue in what you're not proud of by keeping it secret cause maybe you're worried about what people may say, how their thoughts about your person might change. Or how you might loose ties with someone you hold dear to. And many other reasons that follows.

Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

Why continue doing what you're not proud of? The answer is easy. Addiction, hope of getting money, bad financial situation, stress relief... For many people this is an activity that allows them to let off some steam, like sport. At the same time they know their family is against it, so they don't even want to start an argument with them and prefer to keep secrets.

You could ask this question to any outlaw. Why do you keep stealing if you're not proud of it? Why do you keep it a secret? They'll tell you the same thing. They chose this life.
They don't want to be known as a gambler, an alcoholic, a thief... It's all the same to be honest. All of these things have negative connotations in society.

Many criminals are proud of their position in society, as their experience allows them to protect not only themselves but also the people around them. Many do not even hide their activities, unlike gamblers.

In my opinion, gamblers hide their hobbies for other reasons. Most people try not to advertise their financial situation. Gamblers do the same - they do not want outsiders to know that they have extra money. That is why they hide that they are gambling.

[MAAManda]

Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

How can they be proud of what they do when gambling is something that has more negative connotations than positive ones? your question is a silly question, I don't know how to respond to your statement and question. You can see in any literature that gambling has a major negative impact on life, because of these meanings gamblers hide their activities from their family and friends. Even I personally hid my gambling behavior from the people closest to me.

[Josefjix]

Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

How can they be proud of what they do when gambling is something that has more negative connotations than positive ones? your question is a silly question, I don't know how to respond to your statement and question. You can see in any literature that gambling has a major negative impact on life, because of these meanings gamblers hide their activities from their family and friends. Even I personally hid my gambling behavior from the people closest to me.

I can't help but gamble, not all the time, but it does save us from irrelevant scenarios most of the time. On the other hand, if not handled properly, it will undoubtedly damage our plans. Gambling is undoubtedly one of the most imprudent approaches of earning financial gain; instead, we rarely see things exactly as they are. Becoming condescending of what provides you a paycheck is one of the most wrenching experiences that can happen to anyone. Of course, it's not dependable, but as long as it pays bills and puts some extra cash in our pockets, it's genuine and working smoothly.

[KaizenJujustsu]

You don't have to feel ashamed for the fact that you are addicted to gambling because we all have a hobby or a habit. It's okay as long as you are doing it in moderation and your life has not been negatively affected. Just know know how to control it and set limitations for yourself.

Addiction doesn't just affect the gamblers, it affects their family, friends and many more people. If you're dealing with the problem gambling situation in your home, know that you are not alone like I said you have a family and friends are ready to help you find the support you need. Just remember that your family must always come first. If they are very against it, then you should consider stopping your gambling and just find another hobby. As they say, it only takes 7 days to form a habit.

[qwertyup23]

....
Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

I do not think that we can properly conclude that if a person hides their gambling activities, it automatically equates that they are ashamed of what they are doing.

There are several factors that you must consider, such as:

• Legality of gambling in their country;
• Intentionally hiding it to prevent any influence from their peers; or
• They are afraid of getting caught and being apprehended by it

On the above-mentioned list, there are three (3) factors that I think that can affect on why a gambler may try to hide his/her gambling activities.

Obviously, if a country prohibits such act, then it is natural for them to keep it a secret. On the other hand, a gambler might hide their acts in order to prevent influencing any of their family members from getting addicted. Lastly, they may also keep it a secret since they do not want to get caught by their family members and he/she may get apprehended or penalized.

[bittraffic]

Some of these people are professionals and don't wanna publicize what they are doing as can hurt their reputation or be judged. A doctor and is also a father who is looked up to by their kids. Their kids look at them as their heroes so it would make sense to just keep it a secret. Just let it be known to no one and continue their life as it should.

When kids turn teens somehow a prejudice is created in their minds and think less of their parents.
And at the same time, parents protect those kids so will not gamble if they know their parents don't gamble.

[Slow death]

We live in a society where people have different views about something and these views could be drawn based on different constituent like personal sentiment, religion, ideology and experience. And speaking of gamble there are those that view it as an irresponsible activity to embark on and whoever is into it is tag as irresponsible guy, for some it beyond being irresponsible but a sin something that is evil,  while some others out of an ugly experience of a loved one that got ruined by it due to extreme addiction.

These factors has made a number of gamblers to keep their gambling habit a secret doing all they could not to let friends and family  know they gamble. And it does seem like they ain't proud of what they're doing.

But why continue in what you're not proud of by keeping it secret cause maybe you're worried about what people may say, how their thoughts about your person might change. Or how you might loose ties with someone you hold dear to. And many other reasons that follows.

Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

I think it should not be seen just on this side, and I need to look at another side much more seriously, and I will talk about my own experience, something that happened to me last year. I am a person who is not telling the people who play the games of bad luck, that is, I do not tell anyone who I do sports bets, so last year when I was approaching the end of the year I took a trip to another city, In this other city I had to live at a relative's house, and it wasn't just being in the same house, I had to sleep in the same room as my partner and how I took my computer, when I was moving the computer to make sports bets

In the early days I struggled a lot to do all games analysis early when he arrived at the end of the day I was not moving the computer, but arrived at a time when he started to arrive early at home and with that he ended up seeing what I was doing on the computer, after I realized that he was angry with me because I didn't tell you anything about gambling I decided to tell you about sports bets and to my surprise the next day he was already betting, every day he came Saying he was betting, but he didn't bet on making little money, he struggled to make a lot of money, I started to realize that he was already running out of self -control

For example he won a lot the first time and took the money and went to consume beer and only came back the next day, after every day was playing and losing, he got the second big victory, was a multibet bet with over 15 games , and guess? Yes, he came back at home the next day. I started to realize that I was before someone addicted to alcohol and then in gambling and started to feel very guilty, so I decided to leave myself. When I returned to my city I realized that I was right all the time, talking to other people about gambling and something much more dangerous, because the other person can start playing and becoming addicted

[MAAManda]

Gambling is undoubtedly one of the most imprudent approaches of earning financial gain

There are many people out there who gamble with the intention of gaining financial gain and then become problem gamblers. Gambling isn't supposed to make money, healthy gamblers make "profit" as their second objective and their main objective is entertainment.

[Docnaster]

I have no idea why you should correlate keeping gambling as secret with proud? Lets take other case, some food industries keep their recipes as secret. Does it mean that they are not proud of their products? Nope. Keep something as a secret is reasonable, no one want others to know everything about them because everyone has their own privacy. It is human right, isn't it?

Some people are secretive by nature. Whether they are doing something legitimate or not, they will not want  share with people. Be it about relationships, travel or opportunities. Some people do not also say the type of work they do. If such a person becomes a gambler, he will not discuss it with anyone and I see no problem with it.
The major problem will be if by chance such a person becomes addicted, it will be difficult to be identified let alone to be cured.

[Aikidoka]

But why continue in what you're not proud of by keeping it secret cause maybe you're worried about what people may say, how their thoughts about your person might change. Or how you might loose ties with someone you hold dear to. And many other reasons that follows.

Those that keep their gambling habit a secret is it that they're not proud of what they are doing?.

Why continue doing what you're not proud of? The answer is easy. Addiction, hope of getting money, bad financial situation, stress relief... For many people this is an activity that allows them to let off some steam, like sport. At the same time they know their family is against it, so they don't even want to start an argument with them and prefer to keep secrets.

~snip~

Well said. It's indeed addiction that often leads a lot of people to engage in actions they're not proud of. And this isn't limited to gambling, it applies to any form of addiction and to overcome it, you need to have such good dedication and a clear understanding of your intentions. It's not a matter of temporarily quitting for a few days and then returning to it, you have to quit it definitively.