On a semi serious note..just talking about things can be helpful for some. Hope you feel better soon.
I already do feel like a bit of a load is off, and seeing Bob and LFC open up first helped. I just need a more positive outlook I think.
I gotta say I understand this.
Bitcoin has changed my life. And currently it is not for the better entirely. It took me a year to get over the astonishingly humongous (paper) value I lost during 2018. But I am not a trader. I just don't do it. So it happened and I ended up making peace. But I have spent so much time learning focusing, obsessing over bitcoin, and money. I come home from my work and read forums and twitter and swipe down on blockfolio over and over.
On the good side I became like steel after losing all the value. I became placid, strong unflappable.
And I realized money does not mean shit. We all say it... but something happened to nail it in.
Last year at the end of summer I took my family to a barrier island in the FL panhandle. It was beautiful. The bluest water... the whitest sand.
I have a life threatening fire ant (and yellow jacket, wasp, hornet) allergy. If I am stung I have extreme vasodialation and I will pass out, piss on myself and depending on my posture, die. I will blink out like I am dead. With my eyes open too, I hear. it's pretty scary (for others). I have been revived by paramedics once. If I can keep my head lower than my body I stand a chance to stay conscious.
So towards the end of the trip I went into the ocean with my younger daughter. We were out to my shoulders. It was a gorgeous day. The water was like a bathtub. It was beautiful.
My arms started to go numb.
Luckily I am very familiar with my version of anaphylactic shock, and knew quickly I was having a very strong reaction. Strangely I had not felt stung by anything. If I had not realized what was happening quickly I'd have lost consciousness and most certainly drowned. I told my 12 year old girl, "RUN! Get an Epi pen. Come back as fast as you can. I will hopefully be on the sand. Bring mama." I stumbled in to shore through the surf as my vision started to get turn grey. I could see a bit of a dune where the high tide had made a uneven place in the sand. I stumbled over to it and dropped down with my feet elevated and my head low. My blood pressure had dropped to ridiculous lows by the point. My heart was pounding to try to circulate less blood than I had volume in my veins. My legs went numb and it was everything I could do not to shit myself.
I squinted at the sky. The most beautiful sky... And the sand... everything was upside down. There was a bird flying overhead. And I became a bit angry as I realized that , beautiful as it may be, there was a chance this would be the last thing I saw. And I WANTED TO LIVE. The ocean was rushing in on the beach and the sounds and smells were so wonderful. I could hear another family about 50 feet from me shifting around and their children playing. I sort of laughingly thought how horrible it would be to die there on the sand and mess up their day.
My daughter reappeared with the Epinephrine. I took off the cap and held it. I am cheap as hell, and only want to use that thing if I am going out. Plus I can only imagine it is harsh and possibly dangerous in itself... My wife and other daughter arrived with water. My mouth was very dry as I think my body quickly shifts as much water as possible to.. well I don't know.. flush the poisons? Fill my veins? But I began to feel the effect subsiding. I was going to be OK.
Eventually i got up and stumbled back to where we were staying.
But here's the thing...
During the time I was alone with the effects of the shock peaking wondering if I was going to make it - I thought a few very powerful thoughts.
I thought of my Father, Mother and Sister. How I loved them.
I thought of my daughters. And I think this is when I began to weep a little. I wanted to see them grow up.
I thought of my warm, loving wife and how our lives are so intertwined, and I really really did not want to leave her alone.
I thought of God and the life He had given me (no offense to you atheists.
and how much I really did not think I was done with it yet.
That was it. That was ALL OF IT.
I did not think about my job, my things, my problems, or anything or anyone else. Those things... those PEOPLE. That was all that went through my mind.
And I did not think about Bitcoin at all. Not at all.
In the end, as vacation ruining as this sort of thing might be, it ended up teaching me a very powerful lesson... We all know that is the sort of stuff that "really matters" right? Love... Family?
Well it is. It really is.
*ps* yes there is a plan for them to get to the BTC when I am dead. But... I plan on living. And after the next couple bull runs I might even buy a place to stay on that beach. For me. And my wife. And the grandchildren I have not met yet.
Poll
