I, {insert Bitcointalk username here}, bid {insert bid amount here} for TheButterZone's unused Chase Bank up to $500 bonus code coupon.

Furthermore, I swear or affirm the following:
I have read the fine print on the back of the mailer and will abide by it.
My bid above is legally binding and cannot be retracted.
As of now, my Bitcointalk member rank is Jr. Member or above.
I did not have clear & convincing negative feedback of stealing BTC or owing BTC from broken contracts BEFORE the start of this auction.
I will pay the full amount of BTC no later than 7 calendar days after being provided a PGP-clearsigned unique payment address by TheButterZone, 
and if I fail to do so, I will accept all lawful consequences, including, but not limited to, a negative feedback with risked BTC.
If I was not the highest bidder, but all higher bidders than me failed to pay within each of their 7 calendar day windows, 
my bid remains legally binding in case I end up being the next highest bidder after them.
Within 7 calendar days of payment, I will {select A or B}
A) PGP-encrypt my mailing address in the U.S. (that can accept mail with a single USPS Forever stamp) and PM it to TheButterZone 
B) pick up TheButterZone's unused Chase Bank up to $500 bonus code coupon in San Diego, CA... 
...(providing at time of pickup, TheButterZone's randomly generated code-phrase that he PGP encrypts to me).
I can decrypt PGP-encrypted messages to the public key that I'm PGP clearsigning this bid with.