This is the Bitcoin. Watch it hash in slow motion.
It's pretty badass. Look. It hashes all over the place. "Whoa! Watch out!" says that bank.
Eew, it's got encryption! Oh! It's chasing a merchant service! Oh my gosh!
Oh, the Bitcoin is just crazy!
The Bitcoin has been referred to by the Guiness Book of World Records as the most fearless currency on the Internet. It really doesn't give a shit. If it's hashing, it's mining.
Eew! What's that in its block chain? Oh, it's got a double-spend? Oh, it runs backwards? Now watch this: look FinCEN's up in courts. Bitcoin don't care. It just confirms what it wants. Whenever it's mining it just -- Eew, and it mines, transactions... Watch it reward! Look at that mining.
The Bitcoin is really pretty badass. It has no regard for any other currency whatsoever. Look at it, it's just hashing, and mining blocks. Eew! What's that? Silk Road? Oh that's nasty. Bitcoin's so nasty. Oh look it's hashing things and mining them.
The Bitcoin has a fairly long block chain, but a distinctly elliptical encryption scheme, and, you know, its developers are loose, allowing it to move about freely, and they twist around.
Now look: Here's a house full of gold bugs. Do you think the Bitcoin cares? It doesn't give a shit, it goes right into the homes of libertarians to get some liquidity. How disgusting is that? It mines silk road transactions. Eew, that's so nasty.
But look! The Bitcoin doesn't care! It's users get hacked like a thousand times. It doesn't give a shit. It's just mining. It doesn't care about being hacked by the feds. Nothing can stop the Bitcoin when it's mining. What a crazy fuck! Look, it's mining anonymous transactions, that's disgusting.
It's hashing in slow-motion again. See?
Now, what's interesting is that other currencies like the dollar here, they just wait around until the Bitcoin crashes, and then it swoops in to pick up the scraps. It says, "You do all the work for us, Bitcoin, and we'll just profit whatever you mine, how's that? What'daya say, stupid?"
Look at this currency: "Thanks for the treat, stupid!"
"Hey, come back here," says the Bitcoin.
Currencies don't care, and you know what? The alt-coins do it too. Look at these little alt-coins. They're like "Thanks stupid! Thanks for the mining! See you later." The Bitcoin does all the work and all these other currencies just pick up the scraps.
At nightime the Bitcoin goes mining, because it's hashing. Look! Here comes a fierce battle between a government currency and Bitcoin. I wonder what will happen?
Look at this, there's the Bitcoin just hashing a block, and then look, "Get away from me!" says the government, "Get away from me!" Bitcoin don't care. Bitcoin smacks the shit out of it. And the government comes back and it lashes at the Bitcoin.
Oh, little does the Bitcoin know, FYI: it's been hacked! It's been forked by the 51% attack, so while it's hashing the block chain -- eew, that's disgusting -- all the hacked blocks are seeping into the Bitcoin's block chain, and it forks out. Look at that forked fuck.
Now the Bitcoin is going to fork out for a few minutes, and then it's going to get right back up and start hashing all over again, because it's a resiliant little bastard.
Look at this! Like nothing happened! The Bitcoin gets right back up and continues hashing the block chain.
How disgusting.
And of course, what does the Bitcoin have to hash for the next two weeks?
Transactions.
The Bitcoin.