Bitcoin Jokes

[imperi]

What starts with an N and rhymes with Bitcoin? Namecoin

What do you get when you cross a CPU, power supply, and GPU? A mining machine

What's the most Bitcoins anyone could ever create? 21 million.


Those are my best. I hope they were funny. Does anyone else have any good ones?  

[1714625600]

1714625600

[1714625600]

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[1714625600]

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[1714625600]

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[1714625600]

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[fascistmuffin]

Sorry, but those weren't funny. 

[Tawsix]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I like Bitcoins
And assorted hard candies.

  I think I outdid you bub, sorry!

[mellowhead]

A bitcoin walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What can I get you?"
Bitcoin says "I'll have a beer, a plate of nachos, and a can of motor oil."
Then the goat sitting next to him gets up and starts playing jazz flute.

[imperi]

Ok here's one.

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. Mary pulls out her purse, but then John says, "No I'll pay." So he says to the bartender, "Do you accept Bitcoins?" "What the hell's that?" "It's a crypto-currency that you can mine and it creates 256 bit encryption keys, decentralized and it has no fees." The bartender and Mary give John a weird look. John says "Look, want to see my GPU?" He reaches into his coat pocket to pull out his spare Radeon HD 5770. The bartender blinks. Mary says "Ok, I'll pay." and hands the bartender two twenties. She then says to John, "You're such a freak." The end.

[Travis]

A man walks in to a bank and asks if he can convert his dollars to bitcoin.

His account is frozen and he is reported as a possible terrorist to the FBI.

[bitrebel]

Hey Imperi,

Is your bitcoin donation address meant to be a joke?

1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS

Looks like someones been playing piano on their keyboard.

[imperi]

Hey Imperi,

Is your bitcoin donation address meant to be a joke?

1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS

Looks like someones been playing piano on their keyboard.

Yes, it's a joke. However, if you say it backwards into a microphone and run a Fourier transform, the most significant digits of the frequencies form my real address...

[bitrebel]

Hey Imperi,

Is your bitcoin donation address meant to be a joke?

1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS

Looks like someones been playing piano on their keyboard.

Yes, it's a joke. However, if you say it backwards into a microphone and run a Fourier analysis, the most significant digits of the frequencies form my real address...

So let me get this straight then. you bothered to put a signature in there, and give it an address which you could be collecting bitcoin donations to, but instead, you don't have a bitcoin account and you are on this forum with a thread about jokes about bitcoins......

Maybe we need to start a thread for "outed" bitcoin flamers.

[oneforall]

Jayus  - “A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh”

[imperi]

Hey Imperi,

Is your bitcoin donation address meant to be a joke?

1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS

Looks like someones been playing piano on their keyboard.

Yes, it's a joke. However, if you say it backwards into a microphone and run a Fourier analysis, the most significant digits of the frequencies form my real address...

So let me get this straight then. you bothered to put a signature in there, and give it an address which you could be collecting bitcoin donations to, but instead, you don't have a bitcoin account and you are on this forum with a thread about jokes about bitcoins......

Maybe we need to start a thread for "outed" bitcoin flamers.

I have Bitcoins... I just like my signature more.

[fascistmuffin]

Hey Imperi,

Is your bitcoin donation address meant to be a joke?

1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS

Looks like someones been playing piano on their keyboard.

Yes, it's a joke. However, if you say it backwards into a microphone and run a Fourier analysis, the most significant digits of the frequencies form my real address...

So let me get this straight then. you bothered to put a signature in there, and give it an address which you could be collecting bitcoin donations to, but instead, you don't have a bitcoin account and you are on this forum with a thread about jokes about bitcoins......

Maybe we need to start a thread for "outed" bitcoin flamers.

How many people actually donate to addresses posted in sigs?  I can think of people getting help doing it, but there's going to be a million responses to most questions because we're too damn nice here.

[mellowhead]

Jayus  - “A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh”

Example here:
http://vodpod.com/watch/964947-this-man-is-for-the-birds

[jimbobway]

why did the girl give the bitcoin miner deorderant?

answer: because his 6990 in his room is hot as hell!

[Desu]

Ok here's one.

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. Mary pulls out her purse, but then John says, "No I'll pay." So he says to the bartender, "Do you accept Bitcoins?" "What the hell's that?" "It's a crypto-currency that you can mine and it creates 256 bit encryption keys, decentralized and it has no fees." The bartender and Mary give John a weird look. John says "Look, want to see my GPU?" He reaches into his coat pocket to pull out his spare Radeon HD 5770. The bartender blinks. Mary says "Ok, I'll pay." and hands the bartender two twenties. She then says to John, "You're such a freak." The end.

LAWL.
js.

[jimbobway]

wife: honey stop checkin ur iPhone.  y don't u make love 2 me?

husband: I am gay and like to mt. gox.

[jimbobway]

Bruce Wagner: bitcoin is bigger than the Internet!!

al gore: I invented the bitcoin.

[imperi]

Q: What do you do when a woman doesn't like your hashes?

A: Send her 10 trillion more.

[mellowhead]

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a Bitcoin costume.

[Travis]

This isn't working, someone make some philosoraptor bitcoin sayings, or create a bitcoin themed hitler parody video

[imperi]

Q: What do you do when someone steals your Bitcoins?

A: Bitch on the Internet about it until every newspaper is talking about you, and obfuscate the details enough to make people think you're lying, and then have lengthy debates about the truth.

[kidgorgeous]

Any good alice & bob jokes?

[bitrebel]

This isn't working, someone make some philosoraptor bitcoin sayings, or create a bitcoin themed hitler parody video

Someone already did the Hitlet bitcoin bit

[bcearl]

No funny joke yet.


PS: My girlfriend actually likes bitcoin, but her father was upset that I introduced her to it. Fortunately her father is a mathematician, so it took me only three lines of email to get him totally fascinated about bitcoin.

[bcearl]

Any good alice & bob jokes?

Bruce Schneier knows their shared secret.

[piuk]

Why can deflationary currencies never get dates?

Because they won't go down on you.

Bu dum chi.

[Alex Beckenham]

No funny joke yet.


PS: My girlfriend actually likes bitcoin, but her father was upset that I introduced her to it. Fortunately her father is a mathematician, so it took me only three lines of email to get him totally fascinated about bitcoin.

The 3 lines:

I'm a huge pervert and love doing crazy things with women.

I've seen your daughter naked and I like it.

Bitcoin is a new crypto-currency that is starting to take up so much of my time and thoughts that if it really takes off then I'll have no time to focus on anything else.

[bitrebel]

What did the banker say when he heard the news about bitcoin?

Can anyone point me to the nearest bridge? 

[bitrebel]

How many Bankers does it take to mine a bitcoin?

None, thank God!

 

[bitrebel]

what did the whore say to the banker?

no bitcoins, no service!    

[DamienBlack]

A bitcoin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The bitcoin sighs and replies, "I lost my key." The bartender say, "maybe someone will find it."

Trillions of years later, no one has.

[bitrebel]

How long before bitcoins become worth more than the US dollar?

They already have!!!

  

   

[bitrebel]

What's the difference between a bitcoin and a buck?

People want bitcoins!

[teknohog]

A frustrated miner walks past a bar.

[mouse]

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a Bitcoin costume.

Note sure what this says about me, but this one made me laugh

[BubbleBoy]

allinvain walks into a bar, and hooks up with a gorgeous blonde.
Next morning: "Hey, WHERE'S MY WALLET.DAT ??!!!!"


You have my permission to turn this into an Oscar nominated movie script. It has drama, love, betrayal, historical references and jews.

[Klestin]

A man walks in to a bank and asks if he can convert his dollars to bitcoin.

His account is frozen and he is reported as a possible terrorist to the FBI.

I lol'd.

[stick_theman]

allinvain walks into a bar, and hooks up with a gorgeous blonde.
Next morning: "Hey, WHERE'S MY WALLET.DAT ??!!!!"

LOOOOOOOOOL 

Poor Allinvain, sorry...

[Earthlite Organics]

To whom it may concern:

Please make your bitcoin jokes funnier next time, so I know they're jokes.

Sincerely,

Shfinks

[Klestin]

Begun, the meme wars have.

[Klestin]

[herzmeister]

From http://paper.li/bitcoinmedia/1290146007/2011/02/03

[bcearl]

not directly related to Bitcoin but to the US Dollar:

[piuk]

[Miner SiX]

wife: honey stop checkin ur iPhone.  y don't u make love 2 me?

husband: I am a perv and like to mt. gox.

fix'd.



Whats common with shuttle columbia and bitcoin?
Well, the shuttle took off like a rocket you had never seen, stayed there for a while and came down in burning pieces. Just like bitcoins.

[hugolp]

[alexbasasa]

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a Bitcoin costume.

Any good alice & bob jokes?

Bruce Schneier knows their shared secret.

https://i.imgur.com/NkevY.jpg

I lold so hard at these.

[Isosceles]

Bitcoiners' do it without an external stimulus

[Travis]

The dollar bill after its valued has been reduced to its equivalent in paper and Bitcoin takes over the world:

[TheGer]

Who knew!

[adamstgBit]

why did the bitcoin leave your wallet?

because, your wife bought your hillbilly ass some alpaca socks.

[Alex Beckenham]

According to Southpark, the reason Bitcoin isn't funny is because it hasn't been 23 years yet.

[NO_SLAVE]

Allinvain wakes up from a nap, half asleep with bed head, goes for his keys and wallet.
"where the hell is my wallet" Just at that moment, outside he hears a revving engine and a car door.
In walks his wife, "HI honey, I needed a few bucks, hope you dont mind..."
Allinvain looks out in the driveway.....new Pink Lambourgini Murcielago.

http://lambofan.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/pink-lamborghini-murcielago.jpg

[Vince Torres]

How many bitcoins does it take to eat some food? I don't know because the price usually fluctuates.

[Anonanon]

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and greets them with a smile.
"What can I get you?" asks the bartender.
"Three pints of lager, please."
"Certainly, sir."
The bartender goes to pour the drinks and brief banter is had between the customers.
When it comes time to pay, no cash is produced. Instead the Englishman gets out his laptop.
"Do you take Bitcoins?" he asks.
"We do, in fact. Aren't they great?"
"Yes." answers the Englishman, as he transacts the Bitcoin funds, and drinks are had. Because neither customer nor retailer had to pay taxes, both benefited from the ability to spend their income exactly as they please.

[piuk]

It looks like someone should contact satoshi.

[Synaptic]

It looks like someone should contact satoshi.

HAHAHA, lol.

Oh man, epic.

[piuk]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTSWiotKoZA pretty funny

[garyrowe]

Chuck Norris can kick a bitcoin clear over the moon.

[zhalox]

Allinvain wakes up from a nap, half asleep with bed head, goes for his keys and wallet.
"where the hell is my wallet" Just at that moment, outside he hears a revving engine and a car door.
In walks his wife, "HI honey, I needed a few bucks, hope you dont mind..."
Allinvain looks out in the driveway.....new Pink Lambourgini Murcielago.

That one made my day...



I must say that it's surprising no one has mentioned http://BitcoinAddict.com yet, so here's a handful from there:

• You didn’t even go to the grocery store this month. Instead you went to bitmunchies.
• The only pool you’ll be entering this summer is a bitcoin mining pool.
• So bitcoin price is down 50% ? Sweet. Now you can get twice as many for the same price.
• You hesitate when asked what your occupation is, because you think they won’t believe you if you say both ‘miner’ AND ‘day trader’
• You can’t wait to leave a Bitbill in your brother’s stocking come December.
• Your feet will be hot all summer long because you exclusively wear alpaca socks.
• Envisioning dining with a fine woman, you’ve practiced saying “Well, I’m a bitcoin miner …” in the mirror.
• You have a recurring nightmare that somehow your wallet.dat got erased.
• Your friends and family sense a lifestyle change and think you’ve gotten into drugs … but you’ve gotten into Bitcoin.
• Leonardo da Vinci. Johannes Gutenberg. Benjamin Franklin. Thomas Edison. Satoshi Nakamoto.
• You’ve wondered about what would be on the ‘Tails’ side of a bitcoin.

And finally, one last one, courtesy of http://BitcoinAddict.com:
"You brought your mining rig to a LAN party just to piss them off by playing Minesweeper while mining with six graphics cards."

[Alex Beckenham]

• You’ve wondered about what would be on the ‘Tails’ side of a bitcoin.

[d.james]

ONE can NOT roll A bitcoin, BUT you CAN always ROLL it BACK!!

[bitrebel]

What did the GPU say to the Miner?

Get back to work, bitch!

[bitrebel]

Guy walks into a bank and asks the teller if he can withdraw his money in bitcoins.
Tells asks him "what are bitcoins?"
Guy responds "And you call yourself a bank?" and walks out.

[bitrebel]

I'll bet you 10 bitcoins, that if you give me 100 bitcoins, I'll give you back 1000 bitcoins.

[bitrebel]

My bitcoins worth more than your's. 

[bitrebel]

Wanted: Bitcoins minted before 2011 - Will Pay top dollar! Uncirculated only!

[d.james]

My bitcoins so fat, it takes over 9000KB to send.  

[bearbones]

[bitrebel]

Just got my new Mining Rig set up.

I'm getting 44mhs

How long till I get my first block?

[Alex Beckenham]

  That pic deserves tips, surely

That reminds me, I haven't checked out witcoin in a while...

[bitrebel]

Breaking News: Bitcoin's Developer Satoshi set to introduce Quantitative easing and Austerity measures for the booming bitcoin market.

[pharno]

Damn, Bitcoin is dead, chuck norris got a calculator :/

[hoo2jalu]

I don't use my login or password on any other sites!

hahaha,, wait.. that isn't funny.

[hoo2jalu]

To whom it may concern:

Please make your bitcoin jokes funnier next time, so I know they're jokes.

How do you know when someone tells a bitcoin joke? NO ONE LAUGHS!
Hahahah... heh..  oh. Nevermind.

[bitrebel]

To whom it may concern:

Please make your bitcoin jokes funnier next time, so I know they're jokes.

How do you know when someone tells a bitcoin joke? NO ONE LAUGHS!
Hahahah... heh..  oh. Nevermind.

Now that was funny! 

[nosfera2]

What did the dollar tell the bitcoin?

Take over the world, son? Why, you can't even get into a stripper's pants!

[PandaMiner]

Geek Chick: I don't date miners any more.

Nerd Chick: Why not?

Geek Chick: All they want to do is see my bits!

Nerd Chick: I once flashed by bits and crashed gox

Geek Chick: (does a Betty Rubble laugh)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ALL YOUR BITS ARE BELONG TO GOX

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What did one exchange say to potential members?

Don't be a Gox sucker.

[bitrebel]

hahaha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1oizRS531Q&NR=1

[Hawkix]

Bitcoin joke is funny only if at least more than 50% laugh to it.

All good Bitcoin jokes were told last year. Now its really tough to find a new one.

[The_Duke]

In Russia, the bitcoin joke's on you.

[bitrebel]

In Russia, the bitcoin joke's on you.

In America, the Ruble was a joke.

[Alex Beckenham]

hahaha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1oizRS531Q&NR=1

Hilarious 

[LightRider]

What's the difference between bitcoins and rape?

You can tell a funny rape joke.

[kiba]

Hey! Don't forget comics I published at Bitcoin Weekly.

http://www.bitcoinweekly.com/comics/bitcoin-mascots

[clonedone]

ONE can NOT roll A bitcoin, BUT you CAN always ROLL it BACK!!

yeah you cant tell bitvoin jokes until something horrible or embarassing happens.

d.james is on the right track here lol.
the rest just makes me sad =(

[charliesheen]

[charliesheen]

Begun, the meme wars have.

heres the original

[dennis_sweden]

Bitrebel: two very funny jokes:

What did the banker say when he heard the news about bitcoin?

Can anyone point me to the nearest bridge?  Grin


How many Bankers does it take to mine a bitcoin?

None, thank God!

Also Nosfera; very funny:

What did the dollar tell the bitcoin?

Take over the world, son? Why, you can't even get into a stripper's pants!

[bzzard]

I've found this at mtgox support forum:

Are bitcoins causing you stress?  Not sure what to do with them anymore? The BTC Vault disposes of bitcoins in a safe environmentally friendly manner, free of charge so you never have to worry about them again!

Simply deposit any stress inducing bitcoins in the BTC Vault Sealed Anxiety Proof Deposit Safe (TM) where we collect your stressful coins to be processed into Coins of Contentment (TM) and then be recirculated into the economy for good of all.

Any tainted coins can be safely deposited to 1J4fUF6548BZK9CPLEcKWJvrfAWdYZfT8i for reprocessing.

This public service brought to you by The BTC Vault

[bitbonga]

How did the miner lose his bitcoins?
He was too busy with the dollars he saw!

[Freakin]

Hey Imperi,

Is your bitcoin donation address meant to be a joke?

1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS

Looks like someones been playing piano on their keyboard.

Yes, it's a joke. However, if you say it backwards into a microphone and run a Fourier analysis, the most significant digits of the frequencies form my real address...

So let me get this straight then. you bothered to put a signature in there, and give it an address which you could be collecting bitcoin donations to, but instead, you don't have a bitcoin account and you are on this forum with a thread about jokes about bitcoins......

Maybe we need to start a thread for "outed" bitcoin flamers.

I have Bitcoins... I just like my signature more.

lol i like your sig too.  i don't even want a donate link in my sig... if someone wants to thank me for a post they can thank me. 

if I did something big enough to warrant donations (like release some uber miner that didn't actually steal wallets) then i'd solicit donations directly in that post

[Alex Beckenham]

How did the bitcoin cross the road?

Carefully, as it was made of silk.

p.s. I wonder if these guys are now doing more business because of bitcoin: http://silkroad.com/

[goodlord666]

Bruce Wagner asked Magical Tux what he thought about the Flash Crash. Magical Tux replied that it was his favorite punk rock group.

The US Military has invented a new weapon which destroys people but leaves buildings standing. It's called MtGox.

Magical Tux had a horseshoe logo on his website. Asked what it was for, he said that it was a good luck charm which kept the site secure. When asked if he believed that superstitious nonsense, Magical Tux replied “Of course not! But I’ve been told that it works whether you believe in it or not.”

^^^^ ^^^^
Ahahaha!

[YoYa]

Original credits to the dude who created haxor economist......we really should get him on here.

[Desu]

http://i53.tinypic.com/34ep1yb.jpg
JS.

[teukon]

Not only is the Bitcoin client multi-platform but Bitcoin itself tries to adhere to the philosophies and expectations of several platforms:

Linux: Created by enthusiastic amateurs.
Mac: A futuristic idea with traction.
Windows: Crashes frequently.

[bitrebel]

Not only is the Bitcoin client multi-platform but Bitcoin itself tries to adhere to the philosophies and expectations of several platforms:

Linux: Created by enthusiastic amateurs.
Mac: A futuristic idea with traction.
Windows: Crashes frequently.

I like this one. hehe 

[Havoc]

http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/4567/minercat.jpg

[Havoc]

http://img803.imageshack.us/img803/7069/allihaz.jpg

[Havoc]

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/8250/earlyadopter.jpg

[Desu]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/22/9f20aae0-5e8b-416b-a2ab-9b78b408ae15.jpg

[Desu]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/22/6b504b3d-bf43-40ab-a71c-08ecf8a781d5.jpg

[Desu]

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/22/6a0c75d6-e64a-4373-89ac-213f4728a093.jpg

[wolftaur]

I don't really have any bitcoin jokes at the moment... but I'll probably have a hilarious bitcoin-and-newbie story soon enough. My mother's coming to visit, and this'll be her first time since I moved.

It's also going to be her first time since I started mining, and man, explaining the stacks of computers is going to be fun...

[teukon]

Can anyone explain why on the main forum for a new crypto-currency; a futuristic concept which should surely attract only those who have interest in and a good understanding of economics, mathematics, and computer security; that the most insightful and informative thread consists of 6 pages of naff jokes and images of cats?

[bitrebel]

Can anyone explain why on the main forum for a new crypto-currency; a futuristic concept which should surely attract only those who have interest in and a good understanding of economics, mathematics, and computer security; that the most insightful and informative thread consists of 6 pages of naff jokes and images of cats?

I like this one, too. Very funny!

[Desu]

Can anyone explain why on the main forum for a new crypto-currency; a futuristic concept which should surely attract only those who have interest in and a good understanding of economics, mathematics, and computer security; that the most insightful and informative thread consists of 6 pages of naff jokes and images of cats?

lawl, +1

[imperi]

I make the best threads... 

[£]

https://i.imgur.com/NkevY.jpg

Brilliant !! 

[lacedwithkerosene]

A couple of my old @bitcoinaddict tweets :

The only downside you see to bitcoin is that you can't ever find any between the sofa cushions.

How many bitcoin miners does it take to change a lightbulb? 1007. 1000 to struggle in vain, 1 to find the answer, & 6 to confirm the light.

[Trader Steve]

why did the bitcoin leave your wallet?

because, your wife bought your hillbilly ass some alpaca socks.

LOL

[Andre Jensen (World Bitcoin Exchange)]

wife: honey stop checkin ur iPhone.  y don't u make love 2 me?

husband: I am gay and like to mt. gox.

lmao...... funny as hell

[proudhon]

The dollar bill after its valued has been reduced to its equivalent in paper and Bitcoin takes over the world:

^ lol

[Phinnaeus Gage]

How many lifeguards does it take to save a drowning Bitcoin Miner?

It depends on the size of the pool.

[chiropteran]

Two currencies, a USD and a Euro, walk into a bar.

A BTC ducks.


Bitcoins.  The smarter currency.

[yogi]

Q.
What's a bitcoiners favourite fruit?

A.
Ultraprunes!

 

[RaTTuS]

ASICs

[Phinnaeus Gage]

One year later...

Ok here's one.

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. Mary pulls out her purse, but then John says, "No I'll pay." So he says to the bartender, "Do you accept Bitcoins?" "What the hell's that?" "It's a crypto-currency that you can mine and it creates 256 bit encryption keys, decentralized and it has no fees." The bartender and Mary give John a weird look. John says "Look, want to see my GPU?" He reaches into his coat pocket to pull out his spare Radeon HD 5770. The bartender blinks. Mary says "Ok, I'll pay." and hands the bartender two twenties. She then says to John, "You're such a freak." The end.

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. John pulls out his wallet, but then Mary says, "No I'll pay." She kindly asked the bartender, "Do you accept Bitcoins?" "Sure do!", replies the bartender, whereupon Mary and the bartender give John a weird look. Mary pulls out her smart phone, and after a few seconds the bill is paid. John then says to Mary, "You're such a freak!" The end.

[Phinnaeus Gage]

[furrycoat]

Sorry but those were truly the worst jokes i've ever witnessed...

[joecooin]

"On the blockchain, still nobody knows you're a dog."

(maybe only funny for elderly people like me who have been around in the early days of the internet: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Internet,_nobody_knows_you're_a_dog).

Joe

[Elwar]

Person 1: Knock Knock

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: GP

Person 2: GP who?

Person 1: No, I'm waiting for my ASIC.

[tkbx]

A man walks in to a bank and asks if he can convert his dollars to bitcoin.

His account is frozen and he is reported as a possible terrorist to the FBI.

now this is good

[freequant]

This joke will become fun in 3 confirmations.

[Ekaros]

Knock knock

Who's there

Punchline is in different fork!

[freequant]

A Litecoin enters a bar, and seats at the counter beside a Bitcoin.

Litecoin: Hey!
Litecoin: Let me introduce myself, I'm Litecoin.
Litecoin: Nice ambiance here, huh?
Litecoin: And so how shall I address you?
Litecoin: ...
Litecoin: You're note the talkative type, are you
Litecoin: Alright.. then.. I'll be over there chatting with this I0Coin chick with big pre-mines...
(Litecoin leaves)
(10 minutes later)
Bitcoin (alone): Hi! Nice to meet you! Yeah, this bar rocks. My name is Bitcoin. What do you mean? Can I offer you a drink? Eh, where are you going?

[freequant]

So it's the story of a Bitcoin, a Litecoin, a Namecoin and a Solidcoin who are on a boat, and the boat is sinking.
Wait, where is the Solidcoin?
What? It's undergoing maintenance?
Oh well...

[freequant]

[Richy_T]

heres the original

Change it to "Forking Bitcoins, how do they work?"

[mccorvic]

Knock knock

Who's there

Punchline is in different fork!

I lol'd

A Litecoin enters a bar, and seats at the counter beside a Bitcoin.

Litecoin: Hey!
Litecoin: Let me introduce myself, I'm Litecoin.
Everyone: Yes, we know. Nobody cares

FTFY

[dego]

Chuck Norris has more keys than the Bitcoin blockchain.

[razorfishsl]

Anyone who buys a Block Erupter  does not sell it on Ebay but instead tries to mine with it.

[threeip]

Person 1: Knock Knock

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: GP

Person 2: GP who?

Person 1: No, I'm waiting for my ASIC.

/thread

Q: Who is a Bitcoin miner's least favorite rapper?
A: 2 Chainz

[franky1]

bitcoin will never have good jokes, it takes 10 minutes to get the punchline

[Phinnaeus Gage]

bitcoin will never have good jokes, it takes 10 minutes to get the punchline

ROFLMMFAO!!!

This one is perfect! It incorporates delayed wit and a triple entendre, hence needing the time to appreciate the joke to its fullest.

[grau]

Chuck Norris has a Brain Miner.
No block dares to hash to 1 he thinks of.

[Welsh]

bitcoin will never have good jokes, it takes 10 minutes to get the punchline

Lol, I had a little smile on that one. It's the best one so far in my opinion.

[Protagonus]

How to get instant BTC transactions without having to wait;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TooBgODll0E

[melon]

why doesn't chuck Norris own bitcoin?
bcz even w a katana he cant hack it

what do you get when you cross Idaho potatoes w a btc mining rig?
American hash fries

[melon]

how do you address satoshi when he answers his t mobile phone?
HELLO naka MOTO

[Alicia90]

Started from the bottom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pID03RrmKow

[bitrebel]

What is the difference between a bitcoin and a US Dollar?

A Bitcoin is worth 100 US Dollars!!!

lol

[MarpleTrading]

Why do the Germans like BTC so much?

Because of the Merkle-Tree.

[herzmeister]

Why do the Germans like BTC so much?

Because of the Merkle-Tree.

nah, that would be a counter-indicator for us

[QuestionAuthority]

What was Bruce Wagner's pet name for all of the private keys on Bitcointalk?

MyBitcoin.

[QuestionAuthority]

How many Bitcoiners does it take to mine all the coins?

50,000. One to mine the coins and 49,999 to bitch about the early adopter.

[QuestionAuthority]

What do physical Bitcoins and sex have in common?

When you unzip your package it's spent right away and you start crying because it didn't last longer.

[QuestionAuthority]

What does mining hardware have in common with a turd?

When it first comes you feel good but the longer you have it around the more it starts to stink.

[QuestionAuthority]

If the Fed can't save America watts can.

[QuestionAuthority]

When it came time to pay for dinner at a restaurant each person at the table offered to pay the waiter.

All of the people at the table offered up a Visa credit card but one - he offered Bitcoins.

They couldn't decide who should pay so they asked the waiter to decide.

The waiter responded, All I know is that guy paying with Bitcoins is excluded because I get off shift in two hours and I can't wait around for 6 confirmations.

[QuestionAuthority]

What did the garage tell the talking house when it asked what Bitcoin was?

Ask the foundation.

[QuestionAuthority]

Why is getting drunk in a Hells Angels bar like trading Bitcoins?

Because you get high from the experience but eventually you do the wrong thing and end up being fucked.

[QuestionAuthority]

Definitions:

A Bitcoin Bull -- A Bitcoin investor watching Clark Moody that mistakes himself for a financial genius.

A Bitcoin Bear -- A midget Bitcoin investor watching Bitcoin Charts that constantly swears he isn't short.

The Bitcoin Wiki -- A playhouse for vandals that entertain themselves by changing outdated info. This occasionally backfires when the vandalized info ends up being more correct than what was there to begin with.

The Bitcoin Foundation (TBF) -- A group of young entrepreneurs hellbent on self destruction.

[QuestionAuthority]

Do you know why Bitcoin miners can't cheat on their girlfriend?
 

They don't have one.




Do you know what makes Bitcoin miners cool and trendy?


Invisible pocket protectors.





Why were the police called on the neighborhood Bitcoin miner?


The pot farm down the street complained he was using all the neighborhood electricity.

[QuestionAuthority]

Why did the Bitcoin miner swear he was a marine?


Because it takes hardcore bravery to give BFL all your Bitcoins.

[QuestionAuthority]

Why did the Bitcoin miner cross the road?


To tap into his neighbors electricity.

[QuestionAuthority]

What's the difference between a Bitcoin miner and a pot head?


A pot head tries to mine Bitcoins to buy pot but is so high he forgets to mine.
A miner gets high on mining Bitcoins, starts hoarding and forgets to buy pot.

[QuestionAuthority]

Why do Bitcoin raffles attract so much attention?



Because 12 year olds aren't allowed to mine on their dads computer.

[BigPimpinSpendinCoins]

/thread

Q: Who is a Bitcoin miner's least favorite rapper?
A: 2 Chainz

All I want for my birthday is a big bitcoin hoe!

[QuestionAuthority]

Why did the last CIA raid on Al-Qaeda fail?


They couldn't get their money out of MtGox fast enough to buy guns.

[QuestionAuthority]

Why did the Mars Rover overheat?


A hacker turned it into a zombie to mine Bitcoins.

[QuestionAuthority]

Why did the Winklevoss twins get into Bitcoin?



Because Charlie convinced them that hanging out with a bunch of real coders would make them look like they know what a computer is.

[QuestionAuthority]

What's the correct professional salutation when writing a letter to the head of a Bitcoin stock market?


Goodby Scammer.

[QuestionAuthority]

How can you tell when your wife is lying to you on the phone to get you to come home from the bar?


Honey a package just arrived for you from Butterfly Labs.






How can Bitcoin cause a heart attack?


You get home and there actually IS a package from Butterfly Labs.







Can Bitcoin cause suicide?


You open the box and there's only a letter telling you - just two more weeks.

[QuestionAuthority]

I was talking to a friend about his SatoshiDice habit while looking at his huge mining setup. He was complaining  that he lost all his Bitcoins gambling. I asked him how he could be stupid enough to gamble that much yet smart enough to set up this amazing cooling/mining system. He replied, you built that for me last year. Don't you remember?

[QuestionAuthority]

I thought I was gambling too much at Seals with Clubs. To stop myself I bought 5 Bitcoins worth of Casascius coins and hid them in the house. My dog found them and tore them up. I lost the money anyway. 

[bitrebel]

Q. When will question authority say something funny?

A. When someone with a sense of humor hacks his account.

[QuestionAuthority]

Q. When will question authority say something funny?

A. When someone with a sense of humor hacks his account.

lol - now that is good!

[bitrebel]

okay, okay....I've got one!

Q. What is the most expensive thing ever bought with bitcoins?

A. A couple Pizzas

 
 

 

[QuestionAuthority]

No, I got a great one.

Those guys are the subject of this film, huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8bG5NxQ66g
Bunch of racist, hate mongering zionist fascist piglets.
Fuck the ADL, and Fuck you if you support them and their bullshit.

Bitrebel you crack me up all the time. At least you're always true to your name. LOL

[abcehmumhecba]

My grandma said she'd really like to visit the silk road one day.

So i took her there, and now she's in the kitchen shooing away the dragons with a glowstick.

[jackjack]

[cryto4rig]

How did the alt. coins cross the street?


They didn't, they got hit by a mack truck and died instantly.

[bitbryan]

A man walks in to a bank and asks if he can convert his dollars to bitcoin.

His account is frozen and he is reported as a possible terrorist to the FBI.

i just bust out laughing at work

[QuestionAuthority]

What's a Bitcointalk moderators logical instinct tell him to do when something bad happens at the forum?




Ban Matthew N. Wright then find out what's going on.

[Amitabh S]

What do you say to a women after a date?
"wanna come up and see my Avalon miner?"

Another pick-up line
"your place or mine?"

[grau]

http://imgur.com/OoSyuKB

[mises]

Sorry, but those weren't funny. 

Lol they were all antijokes.

[Undecidable]

So Secp256k1 walks into a bar and the bartender asks "can I have your order" and the curve group replies "115792089237316195423570985008687907852837564279074904382605163141518161494337"

/rimshot

[Boba]

One evening the bitcoin blockchain came to a halt, it turns out Chuck Norris had mined all the remaining bitcoins, and the difficulty was larger than Graham's number.

[Ekaros]

One evening the bitcoin blockchain came to a halt, it turns out Chuck Norris had mined all the remaining bitcoins, and the difficulty was larger than Graham's number.

Chuck Norris started mining bitcoin, he left it with target of 0.

[shuttleclock]

Why did the Bitcoin miner cross the road?


To tap into his neighbors electricity.

This is a good one! Lol 

[yogi]

Q: Why is there no gold at the end of the rainbow?
A: The Leprechaun took it and traded it for bitcoins!

[Phinnaeus Gage]

So Secp256k1 walks into a bar and the bartender asks "can I have your order" and the curve group replies "115792089237316195423570985008687907852837564279074904382605163141518161494337"

/rimshot

Whereupon the bartender replies, "We're all out of  115792089237316195423570985008687907852837564279074904382605163141518161494337, but can I interest you fine lads with Optimus Prime? I use only the finest raspberry vodka.?

[Phinnaeus Gage]

Q: Why is there no gold at the end of the rainbow?
A: The Leprechaun took it and traded it for bitcoins!

I've personally seen their wallet:

[Johnny Bitcoinseed]

I asked my banker what he thinks about bitcoin:

"Bitcoin should be banned", he replied as he sniffed up a line of coke with a hundred dollar bill in his nostril, "'because people use bitcoin to buy drugs".

[adamas]

  

[grau]

[jongameson]

A bitcoin walks into a bar..

[Klestin]

A frustrated miner walks past a bar.

I loled

[bitjoint]

[TotalPanda]

It's real.
Protect your wallet.

Protect your cat 

[cryptozark]

From: https://explosm.net/comics/3479/

[matt.safia]

Chuck Norris mined 22 million Bitcoins with one hand

[luckyluigi]

You want to hear a cryptocurrency joke? Just check out Biebercoin...

[gelar24]

haha I think bitcoin best and funniest: P

and also with a lot of the funniest coin with very strange names strange: D

but the coin is not long term, so a month is dead: D

[Anders]

A bitcoin walks into a bar... and walks out as a very drunk Satoshi.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

lol bitcoin its orange .
orange not give happines
but always gives money
how my jokes cans makes you laugh right ?

[Hobbes2]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/q83/p180x540/10580161_723071941099748_4202572179944473535_n.jpg?oh=bb0c78752283ae4de25cad147826099a&oe=545EABF5&__gda__=1416579676_580e830243e83f0a7a6436d2ff0c3986

[bitbob82]

100% utilized brain tell you to buy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c5ZHDVuUug

[BitCoinNutJob]

Why did the bitcoin cross the road?

To get to the china bubble

 

just made that up

[findftp]

Well, one of my best jokes is one which played out in a thread after I created a poll.
This is what it was:

Ok, let's assume that the following scenario is actually possible, I would like to know how you feel when all these thing happen at the same time:

Bitcoin is under a 66% attack (double spends are happening)
Is also banned by the US, Russian, EU and China government by threat of 30 years jail time.
The real satoshi (proven by something) is found dead, killed.

Uh, you mean 51% attack?

No actually 66,6% attack

Whats the difference between a 51% attack and 66.6% attack?

15,6%

If you get the point it's hilarious. People should donate to me for it  

[BitcoinBarrel]

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Bitcoin.

Bitcoin Who?

A peer-to-peer decentralized crypto-currency that utilizes open source software and public ledger called the blockchain to provide proof of work in solving the encrypted transactions ultimately increasing security and control in your personal finances.

WTF r u Talking about?!

[PalmerLaura]

Whats the first thing satoshi said to his girlfriend the first time he showed her his blockchain?
Stand back honey, I don't know how big this thing will get.

[CoolBliss]

"Good god, I'm selling." 

[logger]

Q: Why did the Bitcoiner get thrown in jail?
A: He touched a miner.
/rimshot

[proofofarat]

Whats the first thing satoshi said to his girlfriend the first time he showed her his blockchain?
Stand back honey, I don't know how big this thing will get.

Cool...
And then he said but I do know how long this thing will last

[Drendas]

How many Bitcoins does it take to screw the banking system?
Moon.

[AriceInWonderland]

Dogecoin 

[fa]

China will ban bitcoin again!

...

and again!!

 

[teknohog]

Treat your currencies with respect. Only pump and dump people.

[JaPeK]

http://coinbrief.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/BlockChainBackup.jpg

[BIT-Sharon]

A little fun but not laughing.

[franky1]

were gonna profit, this ship is about to sail!
sell?
SELL!!
SELLLL!!!
im out, good bye
good buy?
BUY!
BUYY!!
BUYYYY!!!!
were gonna profit, this ship is about to sail...

[nothing2seeHere]

LOL. I really like this one. Although it is important to have a copy of the blockchain so you can run a full node for the greatest security.

[Amitabh S]

pretty sad..

More than 5 years of Bitcoin and not a single good joke has emerged...

[MuttaFuttaGentleman]

What is the equivalent of a guy that doesnt buy sub 1K bitcoin like crazy? a retard.

[DoubleBEE]

there is no funny joke

[JaPeK]

http://memeaholic.com/c/e9692.png

[grumpyoldtroll]

Why did the bitcoin cross the road?

To get to the china bubble

 

just made that up

You call this one a joke? LoL.

[mullerdan]

lol there are funny jokes and others less 

[JaPeK]

http://memeaholic.com/c/33a23.pnghttp://memeaholic.com/c/1d3bd.pnghttp://memeaholic.com/c/69477.pnghttp://memeaholic.com/c/687c0.png

[jsgayo]

Often talk about new topic. It is just a test.

[misterpressman]

lol there are funny jokes and others less 

The one below you belongs to the "less" funny jokes. Or the corny ones. LOL

[Fioraver]

anyone feel it funny?

[VampiricElder]

Jack and jill went up a hill, both with half a bitcoin.

Jill came down with 1 bitcoin, that fucking whore.

[themys]

Not very funny but give the smile! Bitcoin bring a lot!

[JaPeK]

http://bit-post.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/bitcoin3.jpg
http://shotcallin.pbworks.com/w/file/fetch/86371489/USD_Fiat_Inflation_Silently_Robbing_vs_Bitcoin_Deflation.jpg

[TalkTalk]

Chuck Norris is able to perform a 51%attack mining only with a pen and a piece of paper.

[BitNerd]

-Once upon a time, the world was ruled by tyrants who controlled and printed money at will, and all people worked to make them rich.
-Bullshit, granpa.

[548845]

Chuck Norris is able to perform a 51%attack mining only with a pen and a piece of paper.

That is not a joke, that is a statement 

Everybody knows that.

[Superhitech]

Here's one that I made in the Chuck Norris joke thread:

Chuck Norris was able to borrow bitcoins without collateral...

...While being a newbie and loan request as his first post.

[Brewins]

Chuck Norris created Bitcoin because he wanted to make some billions of $ while practicing mental math

[blossbloss]

Schrodinger's cat knows your private key. Maybe.

[JaPeK]

Your momma so stupid she ignored crypto currency.
Your momma so poor she doesn't have a doge in a pool.

Your momma so inflated even Cryptsy bots couldn't pump that.
Your momma so fat they feed her trough faucets.
Your momma so fat the blockchain snapped.

Your momma so ugly they put her Bitcoin QR code into her passport picture instead.
Your momma so ugly they hope chikun will go to da MOON!

[JaPeK]

How do you make enough time for all the work and play with your computer?
- You don't. You mine with the GPU.

How do you know it's P2Pool?
- Balance still 0.00000000 after months of mining.

How do you know it's Bitcoin?
- All your inputs are less than the minimum fee per input.

[risebtc]

Why did the Bitcoin cross the silkroad?

To commit computer hacking, traffic in fraudulent identification documents, and money laundering conspiracy.

[pooya87]

A bitcoin walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What can I get you?"
Bitcoin says "I'll have a beer, a plate of nachos, and a can of motor oil."
.........

when the bartender comes back with the order the bitcoin's price has fallen so he cant pay for it

[adamas]

Bitcoin is not the answer, Bitcoin is the question. Yes! is the answer.

[Gleb Gamow]

Jack and jill went up a hill, both with half a bitcoin.

Jill came down with 1 bitcoin, that fucking whore.

Jack and Jill fought up the hill, each with half a bitcoin.
Jill came down with 1 BTC, now known as the Battle of the Boyne.

There once was a blonde lady who lived in a shoe.
She had so many bitcoins, for she knew what to do.

Ol' Sam Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry ol' soul was he;
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Every fiddler he had a fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he;
Oh there's none so rare, as can compare
With Sam Cole and his fiddlers three.

[Blinken]

Uh, those jokes were not funny. Are you from Albania or something?

[Gleb Gamow]

Uh, those jokes were not funny. Are you from Albania or something?

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet,
Counting her bitcoins one day;
Along came a scammer,
Sold her pre-order miners
Taking her bitcoins away

[Madness]

What starts with an N and rhymes with Bitcoin? Namecoin

What do you get when you cross a CPU, power supply, and GPU? A mining machine

What's the most Bitcoins anyone could ever create? 21 million.


Those are my best. I hope they were funny. Does anyone else have any good ones?  

What the With all my respect to your sense of humor but those are definitly not jokes but they are Facts as I can see
I can't laugh because I can't do better then that hahaha . but I will give it a shot .

"What's the difference between a blind man using a map and a truckload of BFL Jalapeños?
The blind man has a chance of finding a block.  "

Okey I took this one from reddit to be honest

[ChuckBuck]

Nice shoes.  Wanna Fork!



Is that an Antminer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me.



Butterfly Labs, we ship in 2 weeks!



These memes as well are pretty funny:

[Possum577]

Bitcoin will be $1000 by the end of the year!

I heard this joke in July of 2014, hahaha, still cracks me up.

[fonzie]

[tins]

Bitcoin will be $1000 by the end of the year!

I heard this joke in July of 2014, hahaha, still cracks me up.

They were saying it in July of 2013, too.

[dancing altcoin shiva]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B63OYGiIQAEMv8C.jpg




and everything that has to do with puking rainbows and laughing into the toilet


this one was nice too:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B8tvxJGCYAA5jH7.jpg



another good one:

"A Gavincoin and an MPCoin meet in a bar. Says Gavincoin to MPcoin: 'fork you!' Says Mpcoin to Gavincoin: 'No, fork you!' "

[thebitcoinquiz.com]

What starts with an N and rhymes with Bitcoin? Namecoin

What do you get when you cross a CPU, power supply, and GPU? A mining machine

What's the most Bitcoins anyone could ever create? 21 million.


Those are my best. I hope they were funny. Does anyone else have any good ones?  

I still cannot get that if they were jokes or just mere facts.

[dancing altcoin shiva]

What starts with an N and rhymes with Bitcoin? Namecoin

What do you get when you cross a CPU, power supply, and GPU? A mining machine

What's the most Bitcoins anyone could ever create? 21 million.


Those are my best. I hope they were funny. Does anyone else have any good ones?  

I still cannot get that if they were jokes or just mere facts.

jokes about bitcoin aren't funny 

why should they be?

[thebitcoinquiz.com]

What starts with an N and rhymes with Bitcoin? Namecoin

What do you get when you cross a CPU, power supply, and GPU? A mining machine

What's the most Bitcoins anyone could ever create? 21 million.


Those are my best. I hope they were funny. Does anyone else have any good ones?  

I still cannot get that if they were jokes or just mere facts.

jokes about bitcoin aren't funny 

why should they be?

I expect them to be funny because you said that they are "jokes". Just say that they are facts if they arnt funny. I came to this thread thinking that the OP would have got some awesome joke. But what I get is that there are only 21million bitcoins that can be ever created! Am I supposed to laugh at this?

[Assad]

Uh, those jokes were not funny. Are you from Albania or something?

what the relation between albania and bad jokes?

[homo homini lupus]

I expect them to be funny because you said that they are "jokes". Just say that they are facts if they arnt funny. I came to this thread thinking that the OP would have got some awesome joke. But what I get is that there are only 21million bitcoins that can be ever created! Am I supposed to laugh at this?

Bitcoin itself is the joke. Not everyone has to get it.

[Drummer]

what the best joke its a price bitcoin

[runpaint]

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. John pulls out his wallet, but then Mary says, "No I'll pay."

LOL!  Some of the best jokes are the most absurd.  It's funny because it's the opposite of real life, where women spend men's money and don't offer to pay.

[nikona]

Uh, those jokes were not funny. Are you from Albania or something?

what the relation between albania and bad jokes?

lol..I dont think there is a relation..that was just random stuff.

[Gleb Gamow]

A Bitcoiner jumps into a cab...

Cabbie: Where to, bud?
Bitcoiner: Just take me for a ride.

A Shitcoiner jumps into a cab...

Cabbie: Where to, bud?
Shircoiner: What makes you think I'm goin' anywhere?

A Dogecoinger jumps into a cab...

Cabbie: Where to, bud?
Dogecoiner: Very far. Much fast. Wow.
Cabbie: Wow, as in Bow?
Dogecoiner: So clever.

[fryarminer]

A frustrated miner walks past a bar.

HAHAHA

[hdbuck]

How did the bitcoiner get on the sex offenders registry?

He touched a miner.

[1Referee]

What does a miningpool say to transactions without fee?

Nothing. It just ignores them.

[BitNerd]

One year later...

Ok here's one.

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. Mary pulls out her purse, but then John says, "No I'll pay." So he says to the bartender, "Do you accept Bitcoins?" "What the hell's that?" "It's a crypto-currency that you can mine and it creates 256 bit encryption keys, decentralized and it has no fees." The bartender and Mary give John a weird look. John says "Look, want to see my GPU?" He reaches into his coat pocket to pull out his spare Radeon HD 5770. The bartender blinks. Mary says "Ok, I'll pay." and hands the bartender two twenties. She then says to John, "You're such a freak." The end.

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. John pulls out his wallet, but then Mary says, "No I'll pay." She kindly asked the bartender, "Do you accept Bitcoins?" "Sure do!", replies the bartender, whereupon Mary and the bartender give John a weird look. Mary pulls out her smart phone, and after a few seconds the bill is paid. John then says to Mary, "You're such a freak!" The end.[s/]

John and Mary went to a bar. They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. John pulls out his wallet, but then Mary says, "No I'll pay." She kindly asked the bartender, "Do you accept dollars?" "What the hell's that?", "It's a currency controlled by a central bank which can create indefinite amounts of money for itself at its own will" The bartender and John give Mary a weird look. Mary hands the bartender two pieces of old and dirty paper. The bartender blinks. John pulls out his smart phone, and after a few seconds the bill is paid. John then says to Mary, "You're such a freak!" The end.

[altcoin hitler]

[balu2]

[JaPeK]

Why did a bartender lost his job after getting into bitcoin?
He gave away the pub key.

What's the major difference between dollar and bitcoin?
Dollar has better jokes.

[ipbo]

What is the name of the son of Bitcoin?

It's Bitcent. lol

[ChuckBuck]

Some more Bitcoin joke contributions:

[BTC_Superman]

Q.What is Bitcoin?
Ans. Bitter+Coin = Bitcoin 

[Gasturcas]

I have one 

A bum asks a man for ฿0.002. The man says, “Will you buy booze?” The bum says, “No.” The man says, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum says, “No.” So the man says, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

A man walks into a butcher’s shop and asks the butcher: “Are you a gambling man?” The butcher says “Yes”, so the man said: “I bet you ฿10 that you can’t reach up and touch that Beef hanging on the hooks up there.” The butcher says “I’m not betting on that.” “But I thought you were a gambling man” the man retorts. “Yes I am” says the butcher “but the steaks are too high.”

LoL

[ReLieD]

Joke of the century -
Bitcoins will end one day     

[merchantofzeny]

LOLed at that "what n think I do" image.

I dunno, can we really make btc funny? The big joke is on the people who did not buy it when it was low and those who will buy it expecting profits, only for it to crash.

[justdimin]

I really heartfully wanted to thank OP for such a topic to get me some light time among my hectic schedules.
Along with jokes, I got many things to learn here, that might be the hidden purposes of this topic. Anyway I already started to think "differently" to contribute some jokes here.

[jam1nut0]

These bitcoin jokes aren't funny at all

[al0729]

what is the rhyme of bitcoin , bitbox HAHAHAHAH

[Xester]

BItcointalk.org forums are always serious, but this time its nice to read a witty lines. I appreciate this kind of things once in a while. Though the jokes are corny but it made me smile. It is light to the head and makes me to think what kind of joke will I place here.

Heres mine:

friend: Hey, bitcoins price inflating!
Me: I dont mind
Friend: Hey, bitcoins price is going down everybody is in panic!
Me: I dont mind
Friend: Why?
Me: I dont have bitcoins

hahahhaa, its corny but hope you like it.
 

[HCLivess]

god, so many unfunny and distasteful kids here.

Yo momma is so fat, I submitted a picture of her last Christmas to the blockchain, downloaded it on a different computer it's still printing because of the 4 tx/s limit hahaha so funny

[calkob]

no one in here should give up their day jobs these are some bad jokes,  suppose i might as well give it ago.


Paddy Irish man walks into the bar and asks for a pint
the bar tender says that will be $3
paddy says will you accept bitcoin
barman says no we dont
at that point paddy gets up and walks off saying "ok then thanks for the pint"

[ReLieD]

If someone asks you what's up
Reply sky
Funny right !

[al0729]

what you call on monkey leader? . monkey king! HGHAHAHAHA

[streazight]

I asked a hooker if she accepted bitcoin. She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does, how many miners does it take to change a light bulb? A million. One miner to change it, and a million miners running in circles to determine who gets to do it.Knock Knock! Who's there? Satoshi Nakamoto. Satoshi nakamoto who? You will never know.

[teknohog]

I wanted to quit trading, so I decided to take all my remaining coins home. But for some reason I just couldn't... I was having withdrawal symptoms.

[xianbits]

Reading the first post was "okay, nice try but wasn't good enough". Then the latest post was "hahahahahaha". Conclusion, it's funnier to me when it's a green joke.

[xSkylarx]

I don't know what to react on this "joke" that OP were saying because it was not funny at all, besides, I am wondering what is this joke all about? I mean it is not helpful at all and just full of nonsense. Maybe it would be better if it would be post on the Off-topic and not on the Bitcoin Discussion because bitcoin is not a joke OP, take it seriously to help someone out there which has not idea about bitcoin by posting a post that makes sense, and not like this one.

[jack.harris]

Found a bitcoin joke website:

http://100xhahaha.com/funny-images/styleplate_trading/www100xHaHaHaCom-trading!8e09ecae_IJustBoughtCoinsAtTheSamePriceISoldThemTheDayBeforeDearGodAmIInLimbo.jpg

http://100xhahaha.com/trading

[redbullmarket]

Crypto-based humor webcomic at https://www.rhymeswithfiat.com/

Check it out if you like bitcoin jokes.

[icanscript]

Today everything is simple:
If drunk and happy - then I managed to buy bitcoin
If sober and sad - then tomorrow morning to the office, telling the guys why bitcoin is a pyramid all crumbling lies, the crash of the pyramid falls down late, and then in the toilet quietly cry

[JohnsonX]

how many miners does it take to change a light bulb? A million. One miner to change it, and a million miners running in circles to determine who gets to do it.

I like that. Great explanation of POW mining.

[thenameisjay]

What starts with an N and rhymes with Bitcoin? Namecoin

What do you get when you cross a CPU, power supply, and GPU? A mining machine

What's the most Bitcoins anyone could ever create? 21 million.


Those are my best. I hope they were funny. Does anyone else have any good ones?  

A son talked to his dad and asked for a bitcoin.

Son: Hey Dad, can I have a bitcoin?
Dad: WHAT?! You're asking me for a bitcoin?! You know much is 1 Bitcoin today?! It's worth $11,748.86! Where do you think am I gonna get $12,286.78?! You think you can barge in on me and ask for $10,254.78?! Ask your mom if she has $13,480.97

Check. Mate.

[QuestionAuthority]

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Satoshi!

Who is Satoshi?

[AmericanBit]

A man walks in to a bank and asks if he can convert his dollars to bitcoin.

His account is frozen and he is reported as a possible terrorist to the FBI.

It is not joke it is drama 

[captin crunch]

SWhen I start reading this topic i had big expectations, the idea of topic is good, jokes are not funny. So, maybe bitcoin is not funny at all?

[Zulkin0s]

Why we won't see moon colonies ever? Because moon is already covered with tokens and altcoins.

[Maxson]

1btc = useless! 1 btc coverted to USD = FUN!

[QuestionAuthority]

Why we won't see moon colonies ever? Because moon is already covered with tokens and altcoins.

Ha ha, that’s a good one.

[coolcoinz]

This is probably the best bitcoin joke out there because it's so true, even though they got the price wrong

1btc = useless! 1 btc coverted to USD = FUN!

You got it all wrong, son. How's that homework coming out?

[Pebs10]

I asked my grandmy if she heard about bitcoin, she said "of course, there are hundreds of it in the garage"
 

[munareal]

I like this bitcoin joke:

Why do bitcoiners want a Lambo?

Because Ferrari is owned by Fiat.

[freesia_pnp888]

where is the funny part supposedly? 

[tiktak89]

I think you should practice some cryptocurrency-related jokes. But it wasn't a bad attempt.

[olegblinov86]

Maybe I'm not so bitcoin investor yet to understand jokes on that topic... Or you're not very good with a sense of humor. Sorry if I offended you

[Kumic]

  There are some good jokes. Made me laugh while I read them.
Would like to see more on here.

[jak3]

Ok Here  mine
Customer: "I can not install my Bitcoin wallet properly"
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the' OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

[Melon12]

Some people thinking bitcoin is a joke,one of my friend said that Bitcoin is a joke,but I show to him that Bitcoin is not a joke,I show to him the money that I earn in bitcoin.

[C. Bergmann]

Reading them really gives me a mix emotion though cant wait to see more further jokes on the future.

Well here is mine , a theif was chasing by a police officer

Theif: Please stop chasing me! (SHOUTING)

Police officer: You stole a half a billion worth of bitcoins! , you theif. (SHOUTING)

After the long run the police was succesfully captured the theif.

Police officer: You have the right to remain silent , anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. (CATCHING HE'S BREATH)

then this happen

Theif: Can i whisper you something ? ... I'M SATOSHI NAKAMOTO.

Still the theif was accused by lying and also a theif.

Its a simple joke made by me , i hope you like it.

[jchav010101]

That awkward moment when you still cant understand someone after they have repeated themselves about five times.